Rowdy applause and some shouted obscenities greeted this announcement. The speaker smiled. "Now, unbelievable as it may seem, there are some virgins in the room." Mock gasps of amazement. "Since we simply can not have that, all you poor people currently marked with the V come on down!"
Willow pulled Buffy to her feet and shoved her forward to the stage, grinning madly. The blonde stood nervously with the other newbies. 'This is ridiculous,' she told herself. 'I've fought off demons, I can certainly handle standing in front of a bunch of teenagers!'
The host guy had been joined by a short girl in a hot pink tuxedo, holding a bag of strawberry licorice twists. The two paired off the virgins – there were eight total. Buffy looked at the girl she'd been paired with and raised an eyebrow in question. Her partner shrugged. Both turned their attention to their hosts.
"Now then," he announced, "we just need to make sure you're capable of properly eating a –" He was interrupted by lewd suggestions from the audience. "Well, yes, that too, but we'll start with licorice. It's always a good idea to accept candy from strangers here!"
Tuxedo girl had been handing out the candy, one to each pair. Now she directed them to face their partners and put their hands behind their backs. She and her co-conspirator placed one end of each candy stick into each person's mouth, connecting the partners like a little red bridge. "Now then," she said, "here's the deal. No hands, no biting till I say go, bonus points for style, and first ones to finish – get to sit down first. Ready? Go!"
During tuxedo's speech Buffy and her partner had held a silent communication with their eyes. Now they simply leaned into each other, swallowing half the stick each and meeting in the center. Their lips touched as each tried to figure out who was going to bite the middle. They finally just pulled, and the candy snapped. Wild applause met their victory, and they swallowed while bowing. The host put his arms around them, one on each side. "I like these two," he announced. He planted a kiss on their cheeks and released them to their seats. Willow nodded approvingly. Xander's eyes were glazed over.
The host resumed speaking. "Now that we're all good and –"
"Horny!"
"It's on to the rules!" Various calls of what he could do with the rules rang out. "I'm pretty sure that would hurt. So: don't throw stuff at us, don't light anything on fire, stay out of the aisle, stay dressed, stay sober, and anything you would do in your bed you don't do here.
"Oh, and one more announcement! We're very pleased to have a guest star tonight. Frank will be played by a very old friend of this theater- but don't call him that!
"Now- on with the show!" A fanfare played as the lights went down. Buffy sat back and waited for the next surprise.
"Everybody on your feet!"
Buffy found herself pulled out of her seat, joining the mass of dancing, singing lunatics in the theater. She grinned, having decided somewhere in the first scene that this was fun. Now she jumped around awkwardly, following the directions Willow was shouting in her ear and those in the song.
"It's just a jump to the left…"
Breathless, the audience slipped back into their seats. Buffy was laughing. "This is great!"
Xander grinned. "Just wait!" he told her as a steady beat began. The regulars in the audience began to clap along, calling out interesting ideas to the rhythm. The trio turned in their seats to follow 'Brad' and 'Janet's progress up the aisle, straight into a tall figure. Buffy squinted into the backlit scene, trying to see better. The new person soon made this much easier, flouncing down the aisle to where a chair awaited on the stage. He whirled and threw off a silver cloak.
"- I'm just a sweet transvestite…"
"Giles?!!"