Midgar high school!
_____________________________________________________
Disclaimer:
Lawyers: Say it.
Gaian Skylord: I don't feel like it-
Lawyers: Say it!
Gaian Skylord: No-
Lawyers: SAY IT!!!!
Gaian Skylord: *Temper risen to the point of spontaneous combustion* OKAY!!!! I DON'T OWN FF7, MIDGAR OR SQUARESOFT!!!! HAPPY NOW???!!!!
Lawyers: Yes, very.
Gaian Skylord: Yeah, you should be- *Cough!*- Persistent B@$#@%&S-*Cough! Cough!*
Lawyers: What was that???
Gaian Skylord: .Uh, nothin'. Keep in mind YOU CAN'T SUE ME!!! NOT FOR ANY AMOUNT OF GIL!!!-Err. I mean MONEY!!! (The term "gil" is also owned by Squaresoft, okay! GOD!!!) I AM NOW FREAKIN' INVINCIBLE!!! HAHAHA!!!!
Lawyers: That's what YOU think.
Gaian Skylord: That's what I KNOW!
Lawyers: *Flipping through massive piles of paper that look REALLY important* Your legal records say otherwise.
Gaian Skylord: Oh, CR@P!!!! *Runs from court as fast as humanly possible while being chased by an army of suited Squaresoftian lawyers armed with large, razor-sharp edged briefcases* ___________________________________________________
So, when we left off, everyone was late for their homeroom classes. Well ALMOST everyone (May I remind you of Nanaki A.K.A Red XIII)! The story will now trail behind six kid-versions of various ShinRa employees who will be in Sephiroth's homeroom class. YES! WHAT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR. ART WITH THE EVIL GUY FROM FF7!!! THE ONE. THE ONLY. SEPHIROTH!!!!!!!! Now. Let the story COMMENCE!!!
Midgar High School. 9:05 AM.
F-wing. Art room F 124.
Slow and (VERY) fat kid Palmer: Uh? *Looks around, puzzled* Isn't there supposed to be an adult somewhere around here?? You know! Someone to force us to learn and then we become disgruntled grown-up's who hate their jobs??
Troublemaker Reno: *Yawns* Don't know. Don't care.
Palmer: *Shrugs* I wonder who the teacher is? *Smiles dumbly* I hope it's a purple cow.
Strange kid Rude: *Deadpan* No. It's that guy who tried to destroy the world.
Reno: *Looks surprised* Naw! It's what's-'is-name?!
Rude: *Deadpan* Sephiroth
Palmer: *Jumps up and down happily making the walls shudder* COOL!!! WE GOT A PSYCHO FOR AN ART TEACHER!!! WOOO HOOOO!!!!!!!!! *Starts dancing around art tables*
Reno: *Backs away slowly*.You, 'kay?? Palmer??
Palmer: *Dancing around like he's drugged up on Hypers* WE GOT A CRIMIALLY INSANE I-WANT-TO-RULE-THE-WORLD-AS-A-GOD-AND-IF-I-CAN'T-I'LL-DESTROY-IT ART TEACHER!!!! I'M SOOOOOOO GETTING GOOD MARKS NOW!!!!! MWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Curious Elena: . Do you think he's gone mad?
Rude: Most possibly. I believe that his mind has been somewhat misplaced and that this sudden transformation could have occurred due to that fact alone
Reno + Elena: HUH?
Rude: *Sigh* .Yes, I think he's gone off the deep end and is now seeing illusions of purple cows playing hop-scotch
Reno + Elena: Oh, okay!
*Suddenly, the sound of rushed footfalls echo down the outside corridor and two panting students burst into the classroom*
Tomboy Scarlett: HA!! I WON!!!! You, my friend, have just lost your lunch money! *Sticks out hand* Pay up!
Tall kid Rufus: I. Ain't. *Pant* . Givin'. Up. *Gasp!* My. MONEY! *Begins to catch breath* YOU'LL HAFTA PRY IT FROM MY COLD DEAD FINGERS FIRST!!! I'LL FIGHT TILL THE END!!!! YOU MAY TAKE MY LIFE BUT, YOU'LL NEVER TAKE MY LUNCH MONEY!!!!!!!
Scarlett: *Shaking head* You like the café pizza way too much, Rufus
Rufus: Yeah, I know. Hey.*Looks around the teacher-less classroom* Where's the evil-psycho-guy-that-tried-to-take-over-the-world,-failed-and-is-now- our-art-teacher dude???
Palmer: *Skipping around the art tables, creating mini-earthquakes every step of the way* I SEE PURPLE COWS WEARING FUZZY BUNNY SLIPPERS WHILE PLAYING HOP-SCOTCH!!! WOOOHOOO!!!!!!
Elena: *Ignores fat kid* We have no idea! He could be anywhere.-
Reno: -Let's just skip-
Menacing-Voice-That-Belongs-To-A-Known-Killer: GOOD MORNING, STUDENTS!
*The kids all gasp, jump and turn around to see an ominous figure standing in the doorway*
All: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!
Reno: *Running around frantically* OH MY GOD!!!!! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!! IT'S THE DUDE WHO TRIED TO KILL OFF ALL THE OTHER TEACHERS AND DID KILL ONE BUT SHE WAS REVIVED!!!!!!!
Elena: I think he looks cute!
Reno: Elena?
Elena: Yeah?
Reno: You say too much
Elena: *Shrugs* Common knowledge
Palmer: *Has stopped running around and is now looking as if he's in a trance* . Look at his hair!! *Points at Sephiroth's bangs* I swear, those defy the forces of gravity!!! How much gel do ya think he use's??!!
Rufus: I bet 190 gil that he use's five bottles! *Put down wallet on table*
Scarlett: You're on!!! *Does same*
Elena: *Dazed* Is he ever dreamy. Don't you want to just go up there and hug him??
Reno: *Getting kinda scared* Uh. God no?!
Sephiroth: *Ahem?!* STUDENTS?!
*Everyone shuts up and all eyes are on Sephiroth*
Sephiroth: Good day, inferior lifefo- I mean students! I do not believe I have introduced myself. I am Sephiroth; you may not call me Seph, Sephy and/or Roth. Try *Pulls out Masamune Katana* and I may not be responsible for my actions-
Reno: OHHH!!! Shiny!!
Palmer: *Drooling over the sight of the katana sword* -COOL!!!!!!! SWEET BLADE!!!!!! CAN I-
Sephiroth:-No-
Palmer:-BUT!-
Sephiroth:-NO-
Palmer:-JUST-
Sephiroth:-NOOO!!!!
Palmer: *Subdued* Awww. Darn! Why not?!
Sephiroth: *Deadpan* Because you repulse me. Need I say more?
Palmer: *Thinks, hard* Well. Umm.-
Reno: *Waves hand around madly* Hey, Mister Sephiroth? What're we doin' today? Destroy the world? Revive Jenova?? Go chocobo riding?! Merge with the Lifestream?!?! Make POPCORN???!!!!???
Sephiroth: No.. More diabolical then that.*Puts away Masamune and looks at each of the kids, thoroughly annoyed* we shall. SCULPT!! MWA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!! *Waves sword around crazily while laughing in an extremely nerdy fashion*
Rude *To Elena*: . No wonder he was defeated..
Elena *To Rude*: .Uh huh.
Rufus: Hey, Mister Sephiroth!? How much hair gel do you use!?
*Sephiroth stops laughing and thinks for a second*
Sephiroth: ... Hmmm.... I'd say about.... Four..... No, five bottles...... But, why do you ask? *Scowls evilly* You're after my styling secrets, aren't you?!
*Picks Rufus up by the collar rather roughly*
Sephiroth: You, pre-adolescent scum, will never learn my secrets! I have never revealed them to anyone and it'll remain that way until I join Mother in the Lifestream!!!
Rufus: *Gasping for air* ..... You told Cloud, Zack and Aeris, Didn't you??? .. I mean, their do's defy the laws of physics!.... *Cough! Cough!! Hack! Hack!!!!* ..... Can't feel lungs.... Ow.......
Sephiroth: *Thinks* ... Well, yes I did... But they 'pinkie-square- promised' they wouldn't tell another living soul... I'll still never tell you! What have you got to say to that?!
Reno: *Points to Rufus* Is he supposed to be that colour?
Elena: OH!!! What a lovely shade of deep purple..
Sephiroth: Oh.. Oops..
*Sephiroth puts Rufus down whom, immediately, tries to breathe...*
Rufus: *Clutches throat* Gawk!! Gasp!!
*.... And fails*
Rufus: Ugh... *Faints*
Palmer: OH MY GOD!!! YOU KILLED RUFUS!!!!! DIDN'T YOU KNOW HE WAS A PURPLE COW???!!!???!!! DIDN'T YOU KNOW THAT YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO KILL PURPLE COWS???!!!??? *Hops up and down* YOU KILLED A PURPLE COW!!!!!!!!!
Rufus: *Wakes up and looks at Scarlett* You owe me 190 gil!! Ha Ha!!! *Faints*
Scarlett: *Rolls eyes* Yeah, whatever..... *Kicks Rufus sharply in the shin*
*Rufus screams so loudly that no one can hear the little voices in their heads*
Rufus: *Very awake now* OOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY LLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY GODDAMN LLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!! *Hopping around on one foot*
Reno: *Pointing and laughing hysterically* You were hurt by a GIRL!!!!! You WUSS!!!! I HAVE A LEVEL ONE 'ALL' MATERIA THAT'S GOT MORE DIGNITY THEN YOU!!!!!!! YOU SUCK!!!!!!!!
Palmer: *Looks around class, more puzzled then usual* Where have all the purple cows gone?????
_____________________________________________________________
*As the class progresses, the students develop a liking for art. Reno and Rufus discover the delicate war game of 'Clay-Slinging' and continually pelt each other with wads of clay while ducking behind over-turned art tables. Palmer is muttering incoherently about the disappearance of the purple cows in the corner of the room while, absentmindedly, molding a clump of clay into a perfect mini statue of the 'Venus-De-Milo'. Scarlett is making a small model of Jenova (to get on Sephiroth's good side) and Elena is constructing a 'Top-Secret-Weapon-That-Can-Make-Ice-Cream-And-Non- Fat-Milkshakes-That-Taste-Good' out of clay, a Sprite bottle and a garbage disposal. Rude has made some 'spy shades' and, wearing them, leans against a wall muttering quotes from various soap operas. Sephiroth stands alone near the blackboard, silently placing billion year curses on the Education Bureau for condemning him to such a hideous fate as a flying chunk of clay nearly kills him.
Just before the end of the class (and as Reno wins the war, nailing Rufus with a clay nuke the size of a Weapon or even a little bigger), Sephiroth (in his own threatening way) tells them to clean up and display their works to be marked* ____________________________________________________________
Sephiroth: Hmm. *Looks at model Jenova* I'm impressed. To say the least.... Work on the wings.... Nine on ten
Scarlett: *To self* He, he! Breezin'!! *Does retarded victory dance which everyone shields their eyes from to keep from going blind*
*Sephiroth looks at Elena's creation and stares*
Sephiroth: *Deadpan* What is that?! *Pokes it and it starts to hum loudly* It looks like a Sprite bottle and a garbage disposal covered in layers upon layers of clay-
Elena: *Beaming* -Nope! It's a 'Top-Secret-Weapon-That-Can-Make-Ice-Cream- And-Non-Fat-Milkshakes-That-Taste-Good' Machine!! It also doubles as a nuke and a paperweight!!! It's also motion and heat sensitive and will self- destruct if something touches it!!!!
*Humming sound dies*
Rude: Ah.... Crap......-
*BBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Need I write more???? (Audience nods vigorously) Awww..... O.k*
*Everyone is thunder-struck, charred and speechless except Palmer*
Palmer: *Jumping up and down happily, jolting everyone off their feet* OOHHHH!!!! LET'S DO THAT AGAIN!!!
All: NO!!!
Palmer: *Subdued once more* Awww.. Darn! *Begins to wander around classroom in search of the elusive purple cows*
*As Sephiroth regains his footing, he looks at the pile of ash at his feet that USED to be an art table*
Sephiroth: *Deadpanner* Rebuild it, work on a shorter name and get me another art table.... *Picks shrapnel out of hair* Seven on ten-
Bell: -BBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sephiroth: ....... *What Sephiroth is thinking....' OH THANK YOU GOD, THANK YOU!!!!!! THERE IS ONLY SO MUCH IDOICIY ONE CAN TAKE!!!!! I PROMISE I'LL NEVER KILL AGAIN!!!!!!! CROSS MY UHOLY HEART!!!!!!!!'*
Palmer: Oh goodie!! Class is over!!! *Jumps up and down with as much force as a San Franciscan earthquake*
Sephiroth: -!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Is knocked off feet by seismic waves*
Palmer: *Smiles sheepishly* Uh, sorry sir... *Resumes search for purple cows wearing fuzzy bunny slippers while playing hopscotch*
Sephiroth: *Gets up and glares at Palmer* . . . . .*What Sephiroth is REALLY thinking...' PLEASE GOD, CAN I KILL HIM!!! HE WON'T BE MISSED!!!!!!'*
Unearthly-Deep-Voice: No, you may not!!
Sephiroth: ..... *' DAMMIT!!!! WHY NOT???!!!!'*
Unearthly-Deep-Voice: Because you just can't
Sephiroth: .... *' AND IF I DON'T LISTEN?????!!!!!'*
Unearthly-Deep-Voice: I'll smite you into the ground like a railroad spike
Sephiroth: *Sigh*. *' Awww..... Party pooper..... I need some Tylenol.'*
_____________________________________________________________
And, so, Palmer *The fattest kid to trudge across the city of Midgar* got to live another day. What will the rest of the school day have in store for all of them? Does the teachers lounge have Tylenol?? *Let's hope so!* What will happen in their next class??? Hell! I don't even know half the answers to the questions I'm writing!!! Sooooo... Stay tuned for the next chapters of Midgar High. And FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS FINAL FANTASYISH!!!! REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!
_____________________________________________________
Disclaimer:
Lawyers: Say it.
Gaian Skylord: I don't feel like it-
Lawyers: Say it!
Gaian Skylord: No-
Lawyers: SAY IT!!!!
Gaian Skylord: *Temper risen to the point of spontaneous combustion* OKAY!!!! I DON'T OWN FF7, MIDGAR OR SQUARESOFT!!!! HAPPY NOW???!!!!
Lawyers: Yes, very.
Gaian Skylord: Yeah, you should be- *Cough!*- Persistent B@$#@%&S-*Cough! Cough!*
Lawyers: What was that???
Gaian Skylord: .Uh, nothin'. Keep in mind YOU CAN'T SUE ME!!! NOT FOR ANY AMOUNT OF GIL!!!-Err. I mean MONEY!!! (The term "gil" is also owned by Squaresoft, okay! GOD!!!) I AM NOW FREAKIN' INVINCIBLE!!! HAHAHA!!!!
Lawyers: That's what YOU think.
Gaian Skylord: That's what I KNOW!
Lawyers: *Flipping through massive piles of paper that look REALLY important* Your legal records say otherwise.
Gaian Skylord: Oh, CR@P!!!! *Runs from court as fast as humanly possible while being chased by an army of suited Squaresoftian lawyers armed with large, razor-sharp edged briefcases* ___________________________________________________
So, when we left off, everyone was late for their homeroom classes. Well ALMOST everyone (May I remind you of Nanaki A.K.A Red XIII)! The story will now trail behind six kid-versions of various ShinRa employees who will be in Sephiroth's homeroom class. YES! WHAT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR. ART WITH THE EVIL GUY FROM FF7!!! THE ONE. THE ONLY. SEPHIROTH!!!!!!!! Now. Let the story COMMENCE!!!
Midgar High School. 9:05 AM.
F-wing. Art room F 124.
Slow and (VERY) fat kid Palmer: Uh? *Looks around, puzzled* Isn't there supposed to be an adult somewhere around here?? You know! Someone to force us to learn and then we become disgruntled grown-up's who hate their jobs??
Troublemaker Reno: *Yawns* Don't know. Don't care.
Palmer: *Shrugs* I wonder who the teacher is? *Smiles dumbly* I hope it's a purple cow.
Strange kid Rude: *Deadpan* No. It's that guy who tried to destroy the world.
Reno: *Looks surprised* Naw! It's what's-'is-name?!
Rude: *Deadpan* Sephiroth
Palmer: *Jumps up and down happily making the walls shudder* COOL!!! WE GOT A PSYCHO FOR AN ART TEACHER!!! WOOO HOOOO!!!!!!!!! *Starts dancing around art tables*
Reno: *Backs away slowly*.You, 'kay?? Palmer??
Palmer: *Dancing around like he's drugged up on Hypers* WE GOT A CRIMIALLY INSANE I-WANT-TO-RULE-THE-WORLD-AS-A-GOD-AND-IF-I-CAN'T-I'LL-DESTROY-IT ART TEACHER!!!! I'M SOOOOOOO GETTING GOOD MARKS NOW!!!!! MWA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Curious Elena: . Do you think he's gone mad?
Rude: Most possibly. I believe that his mind has been somewhat misplaced and that this sudden transformation could have occurred due to that fact alone
Reno + Elena: HUH?
Rude: *Sigh* .Yes, I think he's gone off the deep end and is now seeing illusions of purple cows playing hop-scotch
Reno + Elena: Oh, okay!
*Suddenly, the sound of rushed footfalls echo down the outside corridor and two panting students burst into the classroom*
Tomboy Scarlett: HA!! I WON!!!! You, my friend, have just lost your lunch money! *Sticks out hand* Pay up!
Tall kid Rufus: I. Ain't. *Pant* . Givin'. Up. *Gasp!* My. MONEY! *Begins to catch breath* YOU'LL HAFTA PRY IT FROM MY COLD DEAD FINGERS FIRST!!! I'LL FIGHT TILL THE END!!!! YOU MAY TAKE MY LIFE BUT, YOU'LL NEVER TAKE MY LUNCH MONEY!!!!!!!
Scarlett: *Shaking head* You like the café pizza way too much, Rufus
Rufus: Yeah, I know. Hey.*Looks around the teacher-less classroom* Where's the evil-psycho-guy-that-tried-to-take-over-the-world,-failed-and-is-now- our-art-teacher dude???
Palmer: *Skipping around the art tables, creating mini-earthquakes every step of the way* I SEE PURPLE COWS WEARING FUZZY BUNNY SLIPPERS WHILE PLAYING HOP-SCOTCH!!! WOOOHOOO!!!!!!
Elena: *Ignores fat kid* We have no idea! He could be anywhere.-
Reno: -Let's just skip-
Menacing-Voice-That-Belongs-To-A-Known-Killer: GOOD MORNING, STUDENTS!
*The kids all gasp, jump and turn around to see an ominous figure standing in the doorway*
All: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!
Reno: *Running around frantically* OH MY GOD!!!!! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!! IT'S THE DUDE WHO TRIED TO KILL OFF ALL THE OTHER TEACHERS AND DID KILL ONE BUT SHE WAS REVIVED!!!!!!!
Elena: I think he looks cute!
Reno: Elena?
Elena: Yeah?
Reno: You say too much
Elena: *Shrugs* Common knowledge
Palmer: *Has stopped running around and is now looking as if he's in a trance* . Look at his hair!! *Points at Sephiroth's bangs* I swear, those defy the forces of gravity!!! How much gel do ya think he use's??!!
Rufus: I bet 190 gil that he use's five bottles! *Put down wallet on table*
Scarlett: You're on!!! *Does same*
Elena: *Dazed* Is he ever dreamy. Don't you want to just go up there and hug him??
Reno: *Getting kinda scared* Uh. God no?!
Sephiroth: *Ahem?!* STUDENTS?!
*Everyone shuts up and all eyes are on Sephiroth*
Sephiroth: Good day, inferior lifefo- I mean students! I do not believe I have introduced myself. I am Sephiroth; you may not call me Seph, Sephy and/or Roth. Try *Pulls out Masamune Katana* and I may not be responsible for my actions-
Reno: OHHH!!! Shiny!!
Palmer: *Drooling over the sight of the katana sword* -COOL!!!!!!! SWEET BLADE!!!!!! CAN I-
Sephiroth:-No-
Palmer:-BUT!-
Sephiroth:-NO-
Palmer:-JUST-
Sephiroth:-NOOO!!!!
Palmer: *Subdued* Awww. Darn! Why not?!
Sephiroth: *Deadpan* Because you repulse me. Need I say more?
Palmer: *Thinks, hard* Well. Umm.-
Reno: *Waves hand around madly* Hey, Mister Sephiroth? What're we doin' today? Destroy the world? Revive Jenova?? Go chocobo riding?! Merge with the Lifestream?!?! Make POPCORN???!!!!???
Sephiroth: No.. More diabolical then that.*Puts away Masamune and looks at each of the kids, thoroughly annoyed* we shall. SCULPT!! MWA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!! *Waves sword around crazily while laughing in an extremely nerdy fashion*
Rude *To Elena*: . No wonder he was defeated..
Elena *To Rude*: .Uh huh.
Rufus: Hey, Mister Sephiroth!? How much hair gel do you use!?
*Sephiroth stops laughing and thinks for a second*
Sephiroth: ... Hmmm.... I'd say about.... Four..... No, five bottles...... But, why do you ask? *Scowls evilly* You're after my styling secrets, aren't you?!
*Picks Rufus up by the collar rather roughly*
Sephiroth: You, pre-adolescent scum, will never learn my secrets! I have never revealed them to anyone and it'll remain that way until I join Mother in the Lifestream!!!
Rufus: *Gasping for air* ..... You told Cloud, Zack and Aeris, Didn't you??? .. I mean, their do's defy the laws of physics!.... *Cough! Cough!! Hack! Hack!!!!* ..... Can't feel lungs.... Ow.......
Sephiroth: *Thinks* ... Well, yes I did... But they 'pinkie-square- promised' they wouldn't tell another living soul... I'll still never tell you! What have you got to say to that?!
Reno: *Points to Rufus* Is he supposed to be that colour?
Elena: OH!!! What a lovely shade of deep purple..
Sephiroth: Oh.. Oops..
*Sephiroth puts Rufus down whom, immediately, tries to breathe...*
Rufus: *Clutches throat* Gawk!! Gasp!!
*.... And fails*
Rufus: Ugh... *Faints*
Palmer: OH MY GOD!!! YOU KILLED RUFUS!!!!! DIDN'T YOU KNOW HE WAS A PURPLE COW???!!!???!!! DIDN'T YOU KNOW THAT YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO KILL PURPLE COWS???!!!??? *Hops up and down* YOU KILLED A PURPLE COW!!!!!!!!!
Rufus: *Wakes up and looks at Scarlett* You owe me 190 gil!! Ha Ha!!! *Faints*
Scarlett: *Rolls eyes* Yeah, whatever..... *Kicks Rufus sharply in the shin*
*Rufus screams so loudly that no one can hear the little voices in their heads*
Rufus: *Very awake now* OOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY LLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY GODDAMN LLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!! *Hopping around on one foot*
Reno: *Pointing and laughing hysterically* You were hurt by a GIRL!!!!! You WUSS!!!! I HAVE A LEVEL ONE 'ALL' MATERIA THAT'S GOT MORE DIGNITY THEN YOU!!!!!!! YOU SUCK!!!!!!!!
Palmer: *Looks around class, more puzzled then usual* Where have all the purple cows gone?????
_____________________________________________________________
*As the class progresses, the students develop a liking for art. Reno and Rufus discover the delicate war game of 'Clay-Slinging' and continually pelt each other with wads of clay while ducking behind over-turned art tables. Palmer is muttering incoherently about the disappearance of the purple cows in the corner of the room while, absentmindedly, molding a clump of clay into a perfect mini statue of the 'Venus-De-Milo'. Scarlett is making a small model of Jenova (to get on Sephiroth's good side) and Elena is constructing a 'Top-Secret-Weapon-That-Can-Make-Ice-Cream-And-Non- Fat-Milkshakes-That-Taste-Good' out of clay, a Sprite bottle and a garbage disposal. Rude has made some 'spy shades' and, wearing them, leans against a wall muttering quotes from various soap operas. Sephiroth stands alone near the blackboard, silently placing billion year curses on the Education Bureau for condemning him to such a hideous fate as a flying chunk of clay nearly kills him.
Just before the end of the class (and as Reno wins the war, nailing Rufus with a clay nuke the size of a Weapon or even a little bigger), Sephiroth (in his own threatening way) tells them to clean up and display their works to be marked* ____________________________________________________________
Sephiroth: Hmm. *Looks at model Jenova* I'm impressed. To say the least.... Work on the wings.... Nine on ten
Scarlett: *To self* He, he! Breezin'!! *Does retarded victory dance which everyone shields their eyes from to keep from going blind*
*Sephiroth looks at Elena's creation and stares*
Sephiroth: *Deadpan* What is that?! *Pokes it and it starts to hum loudly* It looks like a Sprite bottle and a garbage disposal covered in layers upon layers of clay-
Elena: *Beaming* -Nope! It's a 'Top-Secret-Weapon-That-Can-Make-Ice-Cream- And-Non-Fat-Milkshakes-That-Taste-Good' Machine!! It also doubles as a nuke and a paperweight!!! It's also motion and heat sensitive and will self- destruct if something touches it!!!!
*Humming sound dies*
Rude: Ah.... Crap......-
*BBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Need I write more???? (Audience nods vigorously) Awww..... O.k*
*Everyone is thunder-struck, charred and speechless except Palmer*
Palmer: *Jumping up and down happily, jolting everyone off their feet* OOHHHH!!!! LET'S DO THAT AGAIN!!!
All: NO!!!
Palmer: *Subdued once more* Awww.. Darn! *Begins to wander around classroom in search of the elusive purple cows*
*As Sephiroth regains his footing, he looks at the pile of ash at his feet that USED to be an art table*
Sephiroth: *Deadpanner* Rebuild it, work on a shorter name and get me another art table.... *Picks shrapnel out of hair* Seven on ten-
Bell: -BBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sephiroth: ....... *What Sephiroth is thinking....' OH THANK YOU GOD, THANK YOU!!!!!! THERE IS ONLY SO MUCH IDOICIY ONE CAN TAKE!!!!! I PROMISE I'LL NEVER KILL AGAIN!!!!!!! CROSS MY UHOLY HEART!!!!!!!!'*
Palmer: Oh goodie!! Class is over!!! *Jumps up and down with as much force as a San Franciscan earthquake*
Sephiroth: -!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *Is knocked off feet by seismic waves*
Palmer: *Smiles sheepishly* Uh, sorry sir... *Resumes search for purple cows wearing fuzzy bunny slippers while playing hopscotch*
Sephiroth: *Gets up and glares at Palmer* . . . . .*What Sephiroth is REALLY thinking...' PLEASE GOD, CAN I KILL HIM!!! HE WON'T BE MISSED!!!!!!'*
Unearthly-Deep-Voice: No, you may not!!
Sephiroth: ..... *' DAMMIT!!!! WHY NOT???!!!!'*
Unearthly-Deep-Voice: Because you just can't
Sephiroth: .... *' AND IF I DON'T LISTEN?????!!!!!'*
Unearthly-Deep-Voice: I'll smite you into the ground like a railroad spike
Sephiroth: *Sigh*. *' Awww..... Party pooper..... I need some Tylenol.'*
_____________________________________________________________
And, so, Palmer *The fattest kid to trudge across the city of Midgar* got to live another day. What will the rest of the school day have in store for all of them? Does the teachers lounge have Tylenol?? *Let's hope so!* What will happen in their next class??? Hell! I don't even know half the answers to the questions I'm writing!!! Sooooo... Stay tuned for the next chapters of Midgar High. And FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS FINAL FANTASYISH!!!! REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!