*Disclaimer* Hellsing isn't Rachel's. Nor is anything else in this story. (except for my friends. i pwn them.) So poof. Rachel sets many squirrels on your head.

Sunny day at the Hellsing House...

Integra: Walter, whatever happened to those pants I gave to you for your birthday last year?

Walter: Huh?

Integra: The purple ones?

Walter: Oh, uh...

(Alucard enters, with Rachel's friend Kitsy clinging to his leg.)

Integra: Who is THAT?!

Alucard: I don't know, Master. I woke up this morning and she was just...looking at me.

Kitsy: Pigey pigey pigey...potato?

Integra and Walter: O_O

(Kitsy starts doing the chicken dance)

Alucard: WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

Integra: It looks....so.....fun......(does chicken dance)

Walter: Cannot....resist....the chickeny goodness......(does chicken dance)

Alucard: WHATS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?! HAVE YOU NO DECENCY?!

Kitsy: I WUB YOU!!!

Alucard: Ah, screw it. (does chicken dance)

(Seras enters)

Seras: O_O

(Seras leaves)

(Sephiroth enters, waving Masimune around. Yummy.)

Sephy: What.....the.....hell......

(Rachel's friend Derek enters)

Derek: Oh look, it's Sephiroth. It's not weird that I'm in an anime talking to a video game character. It's not weird at all.

Sephy: You're weird looking.

Derek: I'm a sexy bishie.

Sephy: No way, I am SO bishier then you. Final Fantasy Fan girls tell me so.

Derek: I'M THE BISHIEST!!

Sephy: NO WAY!!!

Derek: MEEEE!!!

Kitsy: (notices Sephy) SEPHY-SAMA!!!!

Sephy: AGGGGGH!!!! (runs away)

Kitsy: NOOO!!! I LOVE YOU!!!! (chases)

Derek: I'm still bishier.

(Cloud enters, looking all.....yay.)

Cloud: Where did Sephiroth go? Need......yaoi.......

Derek: Ewww...you're gay...

Cloud: Hey, lots of girls moan for me, I don't see that happening for you, huh?

Derek: o_O

Cloud: (noticing the dancing Integra, Walter, and Alucard) OOOOO...

Derek: o_O

Cloud: (joins in the dancing)

Derek: What the hell is going on, anyway?

(Sephy runs in, being chased by Kitsy)

Sephy: WHY HAST THOU FORSAKEN MEEE?!

Kitsy: (notices Cloud) OOOOO!!!! CLOUD!!!! HUG ME!!!!

Cloud: (breaking out of trance) YEAAAAAUGH!!!! (runs)

Kitsy: MOOFLE! (chases)

Derek: Why doesn't anybody chase me? *sniffle*

(Inuyasha and Fluffy enter, arguing about stuff. Mmmm. Fluffy.)

Inuyasha: NO WAY! I am SO sexier then you!!!

Fluffy: ARE YOU FLUFFY?! DON'T THINK SO!!

Derek: Um...um....um.....I'M BISHIER THAN ANY OF YOU LOSERS! HAHAHA! (runs around randomly)

(Cloud enters, shirtless. Mmmm. Kitsy follows, eating Cloud's shirt.)

Kitsy: YAY!! (notices Inuyasha and Fluffy) OH MY GOD!!! MUST HUG!!! COME HERE!!!

Cloud: RUN FOR YOUR LIIIVES!!!

(Inuyasha and Fluffy run off. Kitsy runs after them, screaming.)

Derek: Grrrr. Grrrrr.

(Suddenly, Rachel appears. Thats MEE!)

Rachel: Derek? Derek?! WHAT THE HELL?!

Derek: *sniffle*

Rachel: What's the matter?

Derek: I'm not a bishie!!

Rachel: Yes you are! You're the bishiest!!

Derek: YAY!!

(Kitsy enters. Sephy, Cloud, Inuyasha, and Fluffy all follow, exhausted. Alucard, Integra, and Walter are still doing the chicken dance.)

Rachel: HOOYAH! (Rachel uses her magical magical powers to turn all the peoples into chibis. Except for Derek. Cuz he's just that special.)

Chibi Integra: (in high pitched little chibi voice. LMAO!! D) WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!

(Rachel pokes Chibi Integra, and feeds her pocky)

Chibi Alucard: (slowly rocking back and forth) I'm a big bad dog, I'm a big bad dog...

Chibi Walter: Holy Aunt Jemima!!! I'm ITTY BITTY!!!

Chibi Sephy (with little chibi masimune): I'LL KIIILL YOU ALL!!!! (stabs cloud. lots of blood. sephy cries.)

(Chibi Inuyasha and Chibi Fluffy frolic away)

Chibi Kitsy: OH MY GOD!!! I'M A KITSUNE-YOUKAI!!! FINALLY!!! (steals Chibi Integra's pocky. Yay.)

Rachel: That was fun.

**ALL THE BISHIES IMPLODE**

Derek: NOW I'M REAAAAALLY THE BISHIEST!!!

Rachel: I'm glad you're happy.

Kitsy: MOOFLES!!

The End. Thank God.