CHAPTER TWO
I was inches from winning...Emily looked at me then at her last card. She bit her lip, then looked at MY last card. Back to hers. Then back to mine. Hers. Mine. Hers. Mine. I was getting impatient. She was already dead meat. She should accept her losses and get it over with. Back and forth went her eyes.
We were in the dining hall of Edoras. Wonderful place for a card game, don't you think?
"Just put the friggin card down, Emily."
"No! I must win!"
"You have one card left. Either you win, or you have to draw another card." We were playing Crazy Eights. Such an entertaining game. Emily wanted to play a game that involved betting/gambling/etc but neither of us had any money. But, I gave in, and decided whoever lost had to walk instead of ride Obstinate Fool when we set out.
"I shall win! I shall!"
"Then hurry up, we don't have all day."
"It's night," Gimli grunted and shoved food in his face. Some people have no manners...Me being on of them, actually.
"Whatever," I answered. Emily finally sighed, and picked up a card. YES! I WON! I slapped the eight of diamonds down on the deck and leaned back with a satisfied smirk. Winning was fun. Winning was especially fun if you won against Emily. Oh yes, victory was sweet.
"I WON! IN YOUR FACE, DIRT BAG!" she screamed and jump up, dancing around like a lunatic. Wait. SHE won? Correction, I won.
"No...actually, I did."
"God, you're so blind! Can't you see I won? EMILY WON, EMILY WON, EMILY IS BETTER THAN KATIE!"
"Yeah, just keep telling yourself that. You're going to need to when you're walking instead of riding the horse."
"Whatever, dude."
"Look, can you argue later? While you were debating over these little, insignificant issues, Aragorn decided we're sleeping here, then leaving after we breakfast tomorrow," Legolas interrupted. I nodded slowly. Sleep is good. I needed sleep.
"Oklie doklie," I agreed and we rose. Off to visit the Sand Man, kiddies!
**************
"Woah...dude...like, it's...a rock."
"Tis the Dark Door."
"It's still a rock."
"Katie, it's a door! Don't argue, nitwit," Emily snapped and shifted position behind me.
"It is an evil door," Halbarad the Dunedain said. "And I'm sure my death is behind it..." His voice faded away and I shut him out. Boring old coot, I didn't want to listen to him.
"I say we run FAR away," Emily commented and slipped off the horse. I stayed on, waiting for Aragorn to give the sign to keep moving.
"Emily...there be no dandelions here."
"Should there be?" she asked with a sigh. I could tell she was getting irritated with my mindless questioning.
"Yes. Dandelions are my life source," I said desperately and slipped off Obstinate Fool. No, they were NOT my life source, but all the same, dandelions were incredibly over looked. As weeds, they had no rights in the flower world. They needed the love they deserved. So I would give it to them!
Crouching on the ground, I looked at the dry grass in disdain. There really weren't any dandelions here. But wait-whoo hoo, I found one! It was poking out of a clump of dead grass, fighting for the dim sunlight, it's yellow petals drooping slightly. I picked it out of the ground and cupped it in my hands, then swung back onto Obstinate Fool. Emily did the same.
"Poor baby," I cooed to it as soon as I was settled, concealing my grin as Emily gave me a horrified look. "You're left all alone in this barren wasteland that the King of Acorns has driven us to."
"I'm not a baby!" it cried indignantly. Holy sh...sh...Shanghai. A DANDELION WAS TALKING TO ME!!!!!!!!
"LEGOLAS!!!!!! THERE'S A DANDELION TALKING TO ME!!" I yelled and held out the dandelion. It "stood" up, supported by its stringy roots, and folded it's leaf arms in a pose that said, "you're buggin' me." Then, before my eyes, which seemed to be getting wider than the Empire State building, a face appeared in the center of the flower. Two beady black eyes stared back at me, and a thin line of a mouth was open, speaking quickly and curtly.
"You stupid mortal, of course I'm talking to you! You see my mouth moving, don't you? You hear me speaking, don't you? Honestly, the human race gets dumber by the minute!" it screeched.
"Katie, please, not right now," Legolas answered absently. I stared at him in wonderment. Could he not hear the little...flower...thing...talking??
"Dude, wait a minute, IT'S TALKING TO ME. Get it through your thick, blond HEAD!!!" Emily clapped approvingly.
"I refuse to answer you when you're being rude," he replied mildly.
"I'm not an 'it' thank you very much! I have a name, you know!"
"I have yet it hear it," I snapped. Why did all the insane things happen to me...I mean, I know I'm not exactly right in the head, but that's no excuse!
"My name," the dandelion said dramatically. "is Harold. Harold B. Cornwall."
"Harold B. Cornwall," I repeated faintly. I can see it now-I'm in the Twilight Zone! No, I have never seen an episode of the Twilight Zone, therefore I have no idea what I'm talking about. But I really don't care. I mean, there's a DANDELION talking to me for the love of Tolkien.
"Yes, that's right. Now, tell me, where are you and your party headed?" he demanded to know.
"We're going through the Paths of the Dead," I answered slowly, trying to understand why I was talking to a dandelion. Was I already hallucinating? This was a serious problem. Maybe I'm schizophrenic or something.
"Wonderful. Just peachy. Alright, well, I'm coming with you. It's better than that irritating patch of grass. They keep fighting for all the water! I mean, really people, I'm a poor little dandelion-"
"That can move and talk," Emily put in. She seemed totally unfazed by the whole thing. Hmmm...strange...could she have staged this? Nah...she's not smart enough to.
"and they should be more considerate of me!" Harold ended with a "humph!" and jumped down from my hand. He waddled up to the saddle horn and sat down. A dandelion sitting down is a very strange sight.
"Great, a talking dandelion is sitting on my horse," I muttered.
"Follow me!" Aragorn cried suddenly and everyone surged forward. 'Oh, sure, follow the King of Acorns because he looks kingly and has a higher rank,' I couldn't help but think. It was true! If I said, "Follow me!" everyone would laugh and walk away in the opposite direction. I mentioned this to Emily.
"Well, of course they would. Look at yourself. Do you really think they would listen to someone who calls herself the Lard Lord?" she said plainly.
"Your name is the Lard Lord?" Harold the dandelion cried and hooted with laughter. I glared at him.
"No, it's the Dark Lord of the Daisy Balloons."
"I hate daisies," Harold said, suddenly sounding sullen and pouty.
"Why is that?" Emily asked curiously.
"I once had a girlfriend who's name was Eglantine, and she was a daisy. She dumped me for some disheveled old wild flower! The guy wasn't nearly as beautiful as me," he said stiffly and wrinkled the minute nose on his face. I raised an eyebrow and didn't reply. We passed through to the darkness after the doorway, and the black engulfed us. Eek.
"Katie? Katie? Where are you? Speak to me, Katie!" Emily shrieked and she must have been feeling around with her hands for my arm, but instead she wacked me in the eye.
"Ow! Emily!"
"Sorry, are you alright?" she asked, not sounding very worried about my condition.
"Oh I'm dandy."
"Diiin!" I heard Legolas snap.
"I don't wanna be quiet," I whined. But I did be quiet. It seemed like a good idea. Just because I knew no one would die didn't mean I wasn't freaked out. Several times something cobwebby brushed my leg. GROSSNESS. However, being the good little doggie I am, I didn't scream like a Mary Sue. That would be the worst ridiculing ever.
Soon we stopped by the "remains" of some dead guy. I hardly thought it was interesting and Emily seemed to agree with me. I felt her shudder behind me, and heard her intake breath sharply. I grinned in the darkness. Hehe, Wallace is scared of bones...Now that I think of it, it's pretty creepy anyway.
"Hither shall the flowers of simbelmynë come never unto world's end," Aragorn said softly with a sigh. "Nine mounds and seven there are now green with grass, and through all the long years he has lain at the door that he could not unlock. Whither does it lead? Why would he pass? None shall ever know! For that is not my errand," he cried, and turned back to the waiting darkness. "Keep your hoards and secrets hidden in the Accursed Years! Speed only we ask. Let us pass, and then come! I summon you to the Stone of Erech!" There goes the fancy language on some dead people again...
Only an icy gust of wind answered, which blew out the torches. They couldn't be re-lit after that. We trudge on in silence. We dropped back beside Legolas and Gimli.
"The Dead are following," Legolas said in a hushed whisper. Creepy...again...I wonder if the Elf is turning into some dead guy himself. Them eyes sure do look like a walking dead man's eyes...At least in the dark. "I can see the shapes of men and horses, and pale banners like shreds of cloud, and spears like winter-thickets on a misty night. The Dead are following."
"So poetic," I said dryly.
"Yes, the Dead ride behind. They have been summoned," Elladan, who rode behind us, murmured.
Finally our Company came out of the evil tunnel. I shivered, even in the growing light. That was a pleasant excursion to the land of dead people.
"Well, that was a dandy little joy ride," I muttered. Harold snorted.
"You are crazy. That was awful. Did you see the skeleton?" he cried and shook his petalled head. I blinked, having forgotten he was there. I guess I better get used to have a talking dandelion sitting on Obstinate Fool with me...
"Where in Middle Earth are we?" Gimli and Emily asked at the same time.
"We're in the Morthond Vale. Or Blackroot," I answered before Elladan could open his mouth with a reply. A village spread out before us. People turned out the light in their houses, and shut windows and door in terror. I couldn't help but smirk. That's it lowly mortals, COWER BEFORE THE WRATH OF THE DARK LORD OF THE DAISY BALLOONS!!! MWHAHAHAHAH!
"That sounds like a nice name. Nice place too. The people here are so welcoming!" Emily answered me in a sarcastic tone. Yeesh, she doesn't have to be so mean...
Suddenly, a high pitched voice cried out, "BONNIEEEEEE!!!!" My head jerked up. Could it be?
*************************
Okay peeps, sorry for the delay of updating. Had a bit of a writers block moment on this and This Is Still My Life.
Don't ya'll love Harold? He's so cool...
Amy Crowell (I have no idea if you are even still reading this, and quite frankly I don't care): Wow, such a CONSTRUCTIVE review. I can REALLY make my fics better now that you've decided my work "sucks." Thanks for your contribution to the revival of Bob though. And by the way, in case you hadn't noticed, the genre is humor/parody. Ridiculous situations, sayings, and people usually are in humor fics. Don't like it, don't read it. Simple as that.
Dr. Evil: Yes, I have heard of those people (I'd be an idiot if I hadn't, lol). You eat penguins? Evil person! Penguins rock. And you know what? It's strange, because me and Bonnie were playing Sim City the other day, and she types in a sign that says "Toe Jam!" just randomly. Cool coincidence! And that idea is very scarring...I am, after all, not even fifteen in real life. I think I'll stick with clothes on for now...lol
Rainbowspy: Well, we have one flame...Bob lives! *throws in flames for Bob*
Cat: And may I ask...why? Libraries are meant to be safe-houses for the intellectuals who are constantly in need of literature. PLUS it's a nice place to hide from people.
Nallie: NOOOO!!! NOT THE ELF!!! *hands over the url* HERE!!! AND HERES MY CAR KEYS! WAIT, I DON'T HAVE A CAR!! CRAP! FINE, HAVE MY HOUSE KEY! Oh sugar, now I can't get in...(okay, sorry, getting BACK on subject here...) The URL is and it's so cool. Don't use it for criminal intentions, and/or insulting foreign ambassadors, for they a quick to anger and hit you with the shiny black cane all people of ambassadorism carry.
CrimsonElf: YES! SHE'S HOOKED ON LANGUAGE TRANSLATORS! Aren't they so COOL? So far I can say "acorn" and "pickle" in German off the top of my head. It does wonders for the intellect, don't you agree? And dryer sheets are BONNIE'S fault, not mine. She's the one who keeps sniffing my shirt sleeve or yanking my pony-tail and sniffing that. I BLAME THE BONNIE PERSON!
Dy: I never implied he was gay! EMILY did. Blame her, not sweet little moi. I'll lend you Lego for...*thinks for a moment* One whole week if you give me your swirly chair. I don't have one now...it broke. I'm sitting on one of those uncomfortable metal ones. Ick.
Amari Tinviel: That wasn't nice! I did not copy you! Croutons have a natural force that pulls people into addiction. Sadly though, we are fresh out of them...*cries* THE WORLD IS SO CRUEL!! I try and I try to make you people understand that I NEED my croutons, and yet I haven't so much as gotten ONE SHIPMENT ALL WEEK! *sniffs.* *pause* Woah, dude, I think I just had an emotional break-down...YAY!!! ^_^
Songelf: Me no speak Deutsch. I cheated...remember that, Obi Wan, for the duct tape is trickier than it looks. It has a light side, AND a dark side. Do not trust it at all.
Little-lost-one: Hmmmm...would German mercenaries work? I use those when someone is holding a grudge against me...they work perfectly!
Elronds Bane: HA! I knew you would see things my way! *waves little flags that say "Peaches Are People Too!"* Anyway, yes, college. I fear for any college professor that gets Emily to teach though...AND furthermore, I never said Legolas was gay! Emily did! And still does on occasion. BUT FRODO IS DEFTINTATELY NOT GAY! He's just being stalked by Sam...*scowl*
I was inches from winning...Emily looked at me then at her last card. She bit her lip, then looked at MY last card. Back to hers. Then back to mine. Hers. Mine. Hers. Mine. I was getting impatient. She was already dead meat. She should accept her losses and get it over with. Back and forth went her eyes.
We were in the dining hall of Edoras. Wonderful place for a card game, don't you think?
"Just put the friggin card down, Emily."
"No! I must win!"
"You have one card left. Either you win, or you have to draw another card." We were playing Crazy Eights. Such an entertaining game. Emily wanted to play a game that involved betting/gambling/etc but neither of us had any money. But, I gave in, and decided whoever lost had to walk instead of ride Obstinate Fool when we set out.
"I shall win! I shall!"
"Then hurry up, we don't have all day."
"It's night," Gimli grunted and shoved food in his face. Some people have no manners...Me being on of them, actually.
"Whatever," I answered. Emily finally sighed, and picked up a card. YES! I WON! I slapped the eight of diamonds down on the deck and leaned back with a satisfied smirk. Winning was fun. Winning was especially fun if you won against Emily. Oh yes, victory was sweet.
"I WON! IN YOUR FACE, DIRT BAG!" she screamed and jump up, dancing around like a lunatic. Wait. SHE won? Correction, I won.
"No...actually, I did."
"God, you're so blind! Can't you see I won? EMILY WON, EMILY WON, EMILY IS BETTER THAN KATIE!"
"Yeah, just keep telling yourself that. You're going to need to when you're walking instead of riding the horse."
"Whatever, dude."
"Look, can you argue later? While you were debating over these little, insignificant issues, Aragorn decided we're sleeping here, then leaving after we breakfast tomorrow," Legolas interrupted. I nodded slowly. Sleep is good. I needed sleep.
"Oklie doklie," I agreed and we rose. Off to visit the Sand Man, kiddies!
**************
"Woah...dude...like, it's...a rock."
"Tis the Dark Door."
"It's still a rock."
"Katie, it's a door! Don't argue, nitwit," Emily snapped and shifted position behind me.
"It is an evil door," Halbarad the Dunedain said. "And I'm sure my death is behind it..." His voice faded away and I shut him out. Boring old coot, I didn't want to listen to him.
"I say we run FAR away," Emily commented and slipped off the horse. I stayed on, waiting for Aragorn to give the sign to keep moving.
"Emily...there be no dandelions here."
"Should there be?" she asked with a sigh. I could tell she was getting irritated with my mindless questioning.
"Yes. Dandelions are my life source," I said desperately and slipped off Obstinate Fool. No, they were NOT my life source, but all the same, dandelions were incredibly over looked. As weeds, they had no rights in the flower world. They needed the love they deserved. So I would give it to them!
Crouching on the ground, I looked at the dry grass in disdain. There really weren't any dandelions here. But wait-whoo hoo, I found one! It was poking out of a clump of dead grass, fighting for the dim sunlight, it's yellow petals drooping slightly. I picked it out of the ground and cupped it in my hands, then swung back onto Obstinate Fool. Emily did the same.
"Poor baby," I cooed to it as soon as I was settled, concealing my grin as Emily gave me a horrified look. "You're left all alone in this barren wasteland that the King of Acorns has driven us to."
"I'm not a baby!" it cried indignantly. Holy sh...sh...Shanghai. A DANDELION WAS TALKING TO ME!!!!!!!!
"LEGOLAS!!!!!! THERE'S A DANDELION TALKING TO ME!!" I yelled and held out the dandelion. It "stood" up, supported by its stringy roots, and folded it's leaf arms in a pose that said, "you're buggin' me." Then, before my eyes, which seemed to be getting wider than the Empire State building, a face appeared in the center of the flower. Two beady black eyes stared back at me, and a thin line of a mouth was open, speaking quickly and curtly.
"You stupid mortal, of course I'm talking to you! You see my mouth moving, don't you? You hear me speaking, don't you? Honestly, the human race gets dumber by the minute!" it screeched.
"Katie, please, not right now," Legolas answered absently. I stared at him in wonderment. Could he not hear the little...flower...thing...talking??
"Dude, wait a minute, IT'S TALKING TO ME. Get it through your thick, blond HEAD!!!" Emily clapped approvingly.
"I refuse to answer you when you're being rude," he replied mildly.
"I'm not an 'it' thank you very much! I have a name, you know!"
"I have yet it hear it," I snapped. Why did all the insane things happen to me...I mean, I know I'm not exactly right in the head, but that's no excuse!
"My name," the dandelion said dramatically. "is Harold. Harold B. Cornwall."
"Harold B. Cornwall," I repeated faintly. I can see it now-I'm in the Twilight Zone! No, I have never seen an episode of the Twilight Zone, therefore I have no idea what I'm talking about. But I really don't care. I mean, there's a DANDELION talking to me for the love of Tolkien.
"Yes, that's right. Now, tell me, where are you and your party headed?" he demanded to know.
"We're going through the Paths of the Dead," I answered slowly, trying to understand why I was talking to a dandelion. Was I already hallucinating? This was a serious problem. Maybe I'm schizophrenic or something.
"Wonderful. Just peachy. Alright, well, I'm coming with you. It's better than that irritating patch of grass. They keep fighting for all the water! I mean, really people, I'm a poor little dandelion-"
"That can move and talk," Emily put in. She seemed totally unfazed by the whole thing. Hmmm...strange...could she have staged this? Nah...she's not smart enough to.
"and they should be more considerate of me!" Harold ended with a "humph!" and jumped down from my hand. He waddled up to the saddle horn and sat down. A dandelion sitting down is a very strange sight.
"Great, a talking dandelion is sitting on my horse," I muttered.
"Follow me!" Aragorn cried suddenly and everyone surged forward. 'Oh, sure, follow the King of Acorns because he looks kingly and has a higher rank,' I couldn't help but think. It was true! If I said, "Follow me!" everyone would laugh and walk away in the opposite direction. I mentioned this to Emily.
"Well, of course they would. Look at yourself. Do you really think they would listen to someone who calls herself the Lard Lord?" she said plainly.
"Your name is the Lard Lord?" Harold the dandelion cried and hooted with laughter. I glared at him.
"No, it's the Dark Lord of the Daisy Balloons."
"I hate daisies," Harold said, suddenly sounding sullen and pouty.
"Why is that?" Emily asked curiously.
"I once had a girlfriend who's name was Eglantine, and she was a daisy. She dumped me for some disheveled old wild flower! The guy wasn't nearly as beautiful as me," he said stiffly and wrinkled the minute nose on his face. I raised an eyebrow and didn't reply. We passed through to the darkness after the doorway, and the black engulfed us. Eek.
"Katie? Katie? Where are you? Speak to me, Katie!" Emily shrieked and she must have been feeling around with her hands for my arm, but instead she wacked me in the eye.
"Ow! Emily!"
"Sorry, are you alright?" she asked, not sounding very worried about my condition.
"Oh I'm dandy."
"Diiin!" I heard Legolas snap.
"I don't wanna be quiet," I whined. But I did be quiet. It seemed like a good idea. Just because I knew no one would die didn't mean I wasn't freaked out. Several times something cobwebby brushed my leg. GROSSNESS. However, being the good little doggie I am, I didn't scream like a Mary Sue. That would be the worst ridiculing ever.
Soon we stopped by the "remains" of some dead guy. I hardly thought it was interesting and Emily seemed to agree with me. I felt her shudder behind me, and heard her intake breath sharply. I grinned in the darkness. Hehe, Wallace is scared of bones...Now that I think of it, it's pretty creepy anyway.
"Hither shall the flowers of simbelmynë come never unto world's end," Aragorn said softly with a sigh. "Nine mounds and seven there are now green with grass, and through all the long years he has lain at the door that he could not unlock. Whither does it lead? Why would he pass? None shall ever know! For that is not my errand," he cried, and turned back to the waiting darkness. "Keep your hoards and secrets hidden in the Accursed Years! Speed only we ask. Let us pass, and then come! I summon you to the Stone of Erech!" There goes the fancy language on some dead people again...
Only an icy gust of wind answered, which blew out the torches. They couldn't be re-lit after that. We trudge on in silence. We dropped back beside Legolas and Gimli.
"The Dead are following," Legolas said in a hushed whisper. Creepy...again...I wonder if the Elf is turning into some dead guy himself. Them eyes sure do look like a walking dead man's eyes...At least in the dark. "I can see the shapes of men and horses, and pale banners like shreds of cloud, and spears like winter-thickets on a misty night. The Dead are following."
"So poetic," I said dryly.
"Yes, the Dead ride behind. They have been summoned," Elladan, who rode behind us, murmured.
Finally our Company came out of the evil tunnel. I shivered, even in the growing light. That was a pleasant excursion to the land of dead people.
"Well, that was a dandy little joy ride," I muttered. Harold snorted.
"You are crazy. That was awful. Did you see the skeleton?" he cried and shook his petalled head. I blinked, having forgotten he was there. I guess I better get used to have a talking dandelion sitting on Obstinate Fool with me...
"Where in Middle Earth are we?" Gimli and Emily asked at the same time.
"We're in the Morthond Vale. Or Blackroot," I answered before Elladan could open his mouth with a reply. A village spread out before us. People turned out the light in their houses, and shut windows and door in terror. I couldn't help but smirk. That's it lowly mortals, COWER BEFORE THE WRATH OF THE DARK LORD OF THE DAISY BALLOONS!!! MWHAHAHAHAH!
"That sounds like a nice name. Nice place too. The people here are so welcoming!" Emily answered me in a sarcastic tone. Yeesh, she doesn't have to be so mean...
Suddenly, a high pitched voice cried out, "BONNIEEEEEE!!!!" My head jerked up. Could it be?
*************************
Okay peeps, sorry for the delay of updating. Had a bit of a writers block moment on this and This Is Still My Life.
Don't ya'll love Harold? He's so cool...
Amy Crowell (I have no idea if you are even still reading this, and quite frankly I don't care): Wow, such a CONSTRUCTIVE review. I can REALLY make my fics better now that you've decided my work "sucks." Thanks for your contribution to the revival of Bob though. And by the way, in case you hadn't noticed, the genre is humor/parody. Ridiculous situations, sayings, and people usually are in humor fics. Don't like it, don't read it. Simple as that.
Dr. Evil: Yes, I have heard of those people (I'd be an idiot if I hadn't, lol). You eat penguins? Evil person! Penguins rock. And you know what? It's strange, because me and Bonnie were playing Sim City the other day, and she types in a sign that says "Toe Jam!" just randomly. Cool coincidence! And that idea is very scarring...I am, after all, not even fifteen in real life. I think I'll stick with clothes on for now...lol
Rainbowspy: Well, we have one flame...Bob lives! *throws in flames for Bob*
Cat: And may I ask...why? Libraries are meant to be safe-houses for the intellectuals who are constantly in need of literature. PLUS it's a nice place to hide from people.
Nallie: NOOOO!!! NOT THE ELF!!! *hands over the url* HERE!!! AND HERES MY CAR KEYS! WAIT, I DON'T HAVE A CAR!! CRAP! FINE, HAVE MY HOUSE KEY! Oh sugar, now I can't get in...(okay, sorry, getting BACK on subject here...) The URL is and it's so cool. Don't use it for criminal intentions, and/or insulting foreign ambassadors, for they a quick to anger and hit you with the shiny black cane all people of ambassadorism carry.
CrimsonElf: YES! SHE'S HOOKED ON LANGUAGE TRANSLATORS! Aren't they so COOL? So far I can say "acorn" and "pickle" in German off the top of my head. It does wonders for the intellect, don't you agree? And dryer sheets are BONNIE'S fault, not mine. She's the one who keeps sniffing my shirt sleeve or yanking my pony-tail and sniffing that. I BLAME THE BONNIE PERSON!
Dy: I never implied he was gay! EMILY did. Blame her, not sweet little moi. I'll lend you Lego for...*thinks for a moment* One whole week if you give me your swirly chair. I don't have one now...it broke. I'm sitting on one of those uncomfortable metal ones. Ick.
Amari Tinviel: That wasn't nice! I did not copy you! Croutons have a natural force that pulls people into addiction. Sadly though, we are fresh out of them...*cries* THE WORLD IS SO CRUEL!! I try and I try to make you people understand that I NEED my croutons, and yet I haven't so much as gotten ONE SHIPMENT ALL WEEK! *sniffs.* *pause* Woah, dude, I think I just had an emotional break-down...YAY!!! ^_^
Songelf: Me no speak Deutsch. I cheated...remember that, Obi Wan, for the duct tape is trickier than it looks. It has a light side, AND a dark side. Do not trust it at all.
Little-lost-one: Hmmmm...would German mercenaries work? I use those when someone is holding a grudge against me...they work perfectly!
Elronds Bane: HA! I knew you would see things my way! *waves little flags that say "Peaches Are People Too!"* Anyway, yes, college. I fear for any college professor that gets Emily to teach though...AND furthermore, I never said Legolas was gay! Emily did! And still does on occasion. BUT FRODO IS DEFTINTATELY NOT GAY! He's just being stalked by Sam...*scowl*