Disclaimer: Okay, if you find my name where Eoin Colfer's should be, then
you must've entered my dreams. In a nutshell, I do not own Artemis Fowl or
any other whatever related to him.
Root smacked his forehead. "Total recall! TOTAL RECALL! Not only that, total recall on BOTH OF THEM! NEXT MIND WIPE, I DON'T WANT THIS HAPPENING AGAIN, YOU HEAR?" Foaly mumbled, "If there is another mind wipe." You see, the minute Arty got his bearings, he began reciting all the important events he just "remembered", bringing about Butler's total recall, too. Holly, though still a bit shocked, snickered at Foaly's remark.
"Foaly, prepare the mind wipe pronto!" Root grunted. Knowing that would most especially ruin everyone's fun, Artemis said in a mockingly innocent voice, "But, Commander, what of your present 'crisis'? Surely, this is a more pressing matter than erasing my memory." "To heck with Mud Men and their uncontrollable sarcasm!" Root bellowed, smacking his forehead as he headed to his office. After a few seconds of silence, everyone in the debriefing room roared with laughter (well, since there was only Holly, Foaly and Arty and Butler. Artemis just smiled along with Butler, so I guess only two of them actually laughed).
"So, the 'high and mighty' Artemis Fowl the Second's back. Oooh, I'm scared!" Holly jeered sarcastically. Before dear Art could retort, Holly punched him in the face. "HA! I've waited all week to do that!" she said triumphantly. Artemis stood up and straightened his tie and said, "I'm letting you off the hook on that one, Captain Short, for old time's sake." "Hey, for old time's sake, can you please return what little is left from the fairy gold you got from us?" Foaly hopefully suggested. "Nice try."
Then, Artemis diverted his attention to the LEP's present dilemma. "My, my. Look at all the trouble my disc caused. Mulch, I presume, is behind it?" Holly rolled her eyes, taking care to glance at the squirming dwarf, who, by the way, was strapped to his seat per Root's orders. "Then, it is only a matter of retrieving it from the hands of an unwitting computer specialist. No doubt my encryption prevented any further viewing from the Internet," Artemis continued. After that, they arranged for shuttle transport to the nearest fairy fort to Jamaica (they had to dodge some flying equipment from Root's office, though. That's about an hour's dodging and waiting for Root's newfound temper to dissipate.)
The gang (namely Holly, Arty and Butler, since Foaly, as always, has to remain at Ops) drove in the Mercedes-Benz and were nearing the computer shop when they were stopped by a crowd. "Oh, no, I hope this isn't what I think it is. Artemis, are you sure that encryption thing you did was secure?" Holly said with anxiety. Artemis, in reply, pointed to a large banner hanging from the front of the shop, which says, "The Search for Mark DeGaume".
The computer specialist, let's call him Bill, stood up on a makeshift wooden stage and said, "Hello, fellow bookworms. Today, we celebrate one of the most thrilling yet mysterious novels made, and of course, the man behind it. But we have a handful of people here claiming the right to being Mark DeGaume. Here with me is Mr. Ketterly, the kind sir who discovered Mr. DeGaume's work, and will be with me to judge which one of these people really is the newly discovered novelist."
The crowd cheered, as Holly elbowed Mulch and said, "Normally, we'd do a mass mind-wipe and all the others stuff we do at circumstances like this, but, it would just ruin the fun, really." Mulch, a bead of sweat forming at his brow, said, "Eh, Holly-Captain Short, ma'am (you could just hear Holly snicker), I'd have you know that public speaking is not one of my many talents." Foaly's voice crackled from Holly's helmet com-link. "Come now, Mulch, at least try and undo the wrong you did. All you have to do is go there, claim the disc and then we do our thing." Then Foaly spoke to Holly, "I reckon you still have the 'Chameleon' device with you? I bet you'd need it. No need to shield since you'll-" "Blend in like a real Mud Man, I know, Foaly." With that, she switched on the Chameleon and transformed her façade into that of a regular Mud Man's.
None of the aspiring DeGaumes were having any luck. All were rejected and Bill was about to postpone the festivities when Mulch hurriedly climbed onto the stage. "Wait! I'll prove to you I'm the genuine article!" he said in haste, looking at Holly and her trigger finger straying to her concealed Neutrino. Before anyone could object, he narrated whatever he could recall, from his involvement in the Fowl Manor siege, up till the retrieval mission of the C-Cube. Good news is, he remembered every tiny bit, bad news is, "Mister, ah, whoever, I believe you only narrated the part, or rather, the point of view of one character in the novel. We need more proof, unfortunately," Bill said. Just then, another figure clambered onstage and said, "I believe I am the one you're looking for. You see, he may be Mr. DeGaume, but that disc belongs to me," Artemis said while fervently brushing off dust that got stuck on his precious suit.
Holly smiled as Artemis gave a blow-by-blow account of the events that occurred from the past two years, not leaving anything out, except the part that all these events have actually happened. Bill was visibly delighted and when Artemis finished, Bill yelled, "We have our author!" The crowd cheered, and Holly spoke through the bug on Artemis' collar, "Good job, author boy."
Then a person asked, "I have a question Mr.-" "Arthur. Arthur Felton (Holly said, "What in the name of Frond is Arthur Felon? Can't you come up with anything better?")." "Erm, yes, Mr. Felton, are you implying a pairing between the main character and the female lead?" Artemis could here Holly spit out the water she was drinking. He worded his statement loud and clear, "No, no, that's not my intention. Ms. Short, the female character, was a figure of admiration for, ah, Artemis Fowl, as a sibling would look up to the older. He regards her as the big sister he never had, and she would be one of the most respectable individuals he would come to know."
Holly, upon hearing those words, was quite surprised. She said through the com-link, "Foaly, are you sure this is Artemis Fowl and not some deluded impostor?" Foaly snickered and replied, "Yep, that's our juvenile delinquent, through and through. But I don't think he's a delinquent any more, from the words he just said." But her astonishment evaporated into murderous annoyance when Fowl continued his statement, "But, I am not saying that's the end of the romance. I am actually hinting at a love triangle between Holly, the tech genius Foaly, and Trouble Kelp." "Why that dirty, little-!" Holly and Foaly remarked at the same time."
Root smacked his forehead. "Total recall! TOTAL RECALL! Not only that, total recall on BOTH OF THEM! NEXT MIND WIPE, I DON'T WANT THIS HAPPENING AGAIN, YOU HEAR?" Foaly mumbled, "If there is another mind wipe." You see, the minute Arty got his bearings, he began reciting all the important events he just "remembered", bringing about Butler's total recall, too. Holly, though still a bit shocked, snickered at Foaly's remark.
"Foaly, prepare the mind wipe pronto!" Root grunted. Knowing that would most especially ruin everyone's fun, Artemis said in a mockingly innocent voice, "But, Commander, what of your present 'crisis'? Surely, this is a more pressing matter than erasing my memory." "To heck with Mud Men and their uncontrollable sarcasm!" Root bellowed, smacking his forehead as he headed to his office. After a few seconds of silence, everyone in the debriefing room roared with laughter (well, since there was only Holly, Foaly and Arty and Butler. Artemis just smiled along with Butler, so I guess only two of them actually laughed).
"So, the 'high and mighty' Artemis Fowl the Second's back. Oooh, I'm scared!" Holly jeered sarcastically. Before dear Art could retort, Holly punched him in the face. "HA! I've waited all week to do that!" she said triumphantly. Artemis stood up and straightened his tie and said, "I'm letting you off the hook on that one, Captain Short, for old time's sake." "Hey, for old time's sake, can you please return what little is left from the fairy gold you got from us?" Foaly hopefully suggested. "Nice try."
Then, Artemis diverted his attention to the LEP's present dilemma. "My, my. Look at all the trouble my disc caused. Mulch, I presume, is behind it?" Holly rolled her eyes, taking care to glance at the squirming dwarf, who, by the way, was strapped to his seat per Root's orders. "Then, it is only a matter of retrieving it from the hands of an unwitting computer specialist. No doubt my encryption prevented any further viewing from the Internet," Artemis continued. After that, they arranged for shuttle transport to the nearest fairy fort to Jamaica (they had to dodge some flying equipment from Root's office, though. That's about an hour's dodging and waiting for Root's newfound temper to dissipate.)
The gang (namely Holly, Arty and Butler, since Foaly, as always, has to remain at Ops) drove in the Mercedes-Benz and were nearing the computer shop when they were stopped by a crowd. "Oh, no, I hope this isn't what I think it is. Artemis, are you sure that encryption thing you did was secure?" Holly said with anxiety. Artemis, in reply, pointed to a large banner hanging from the front of the shop, which says, "The Search for Mark DeGaume".
The computer specialist, let's call him Bill, stood up on a makeshift wooden stage and said, "Hello, fellow bookworms. Today, we celebrate one of the most thrilling yet mysterious novels made, and of course, the man behind it. But we have a handful of people here claiming the right to being Mark DeGaume. Here with me is Mr. Ketterly, the kind sir who discovered Mr. DeGaume's work, and will be with me to judge which one of these people really is the newly discovered novelist."
The crowd cheered, as Holly elbowed Mulch and said, "Normally, we'd do a mass mind-wipe and all the others stuff we do at circumstances like this, but, it would just ruin the fun, really." Mulch, a bead of sweat forming at his brow, said, "Eh, Holly-Captain Short, ma'am (you could just hear Holly snicker), I'd have you know that public speaking is not one of my many talents." Foaly's voice crackled from Holly's helmet com-link. "Come now, Mulch, at least try and undo the wrong you did. All you have to do is go there, claim the disc and then we do our thing." Then Foaly spoke to Holly, "I reckon you still have the 'Chameleon' device with you? I bet you'd need it. No need to shield since you'll-" "Blend in like a real Mud Man, I know, Foaly." With that, she switched on the Chameleon and transformed her façade into that of a regular Mud Man's.
None of the aspiring DeGaumes were having any luck. All were rejected and Bill was about to postpone the festivities when Mulch hurriedly climbed onto the stage. "Wait! I'll prove to you I'm the genuine article!" he said in haste, looking at Holly and her trigger finger straying to her concealed Neutrino. Before anyone could object, he narrated whatever he could recall, from his involvement in the Fowl Manor siege, up till the retrieval mission of the C-Cube. Good news is, he remembered every tiny bit, bad news is, "Mister, ah, whoever, I believe you only narrated the part, or rather, the point of view of one character in the novel. We need more proof, unfortunately," Bill said. Just then, another figure clambered onstage and said, "I believe I am the one you're looking for. You see, he may be Mr. DeGaume, but that disc belongs to me," Artemis said while fervently brushing off dust that got stuck on his precious suit.
Holly smiled as Artemis gave a blow-by-blow account of the events that occurred from the past two years, not leaving anything out, except the part that all these events have actually happened. Bill was visibly delighted and when Artemis finished, Bill yelled, "We have our author!" The crowd cheered, and Holly spoke through the bug on Artemis' collar, "Good job, author boy."
Then a person asked, "I have a question Mr.-" "Arthur. Arthur Felton (Holly said, "What in the name of Frond is Arthur Felon? Can't you come up with anything better?")." "Erm, yes, Mr. Felton, are you implying a pairing between the main character and the female lead?" Artemis could here Holly spit out the water she was drinking. He worded his statement loud and clear, "No, no, that's not my intention. Ms. Short, the female character, was a figure of admiration for, ah, Artemis Fowl, as a sibling would look up to the older. He regards her as the big sister he never had, and she would be one of the most respectable individuals he would come to know."
Holly, upon hearing those words, was quite surprised. She said through the com-link, "Foaly, are you sure this is Artemis Fowl and not some deluded impostor?" Foaly snickered and replied, "Yep, that's our juvenile delinquent, through and through. But I don't think he's a delinquent any more, from the words he just said." But her astonishment evaporated into murderous annoyance when Fowl continued his statement, "But, I am not saying that's the end of the romance. I am actually hinting at a love triangle between Holly, the tech genius Foaly, and Trouble Kelp." "Why that dirty, little-!" Holly and Foaly remarked at the same time."