DISCLAIMER: I own nothing related to LOTR and Tolkien. I own meself, Emily,
Obstinate Fool, Harold, etc etc.
A/N: Remember to read the rewritten chapter ten! I made it different (sort of).
Other A/N: *grovels at Tolkien's feet* Forgive me for creating stupid and pathetic excuses for Gondorian names such as Algeren and Kian and Leonia and Rizina.I AM NOT WORTHY! Yeah.I created though people too. No use. Not that you'd WANT to use them.*again grovels at Tolkien's feet* Just one more apology to make.Please pardon my stupid, dirty hide for creating a self- inserted Mary Sue fanfic. I swear on my copy of the Fellowship of the Ring that I will never, so long as I live, create another one of these. *bows her head in shame*
Now.on with the fic!
CHAPTER ELEVEN
"Katie, you made me run into you and Legolas! And now we're all in the mud. Again. God.Kaitlin Deleno Twiss, you are under house arrest!" Emily spat and wiped mud out of her mouth. Why does everyone insist on using my full name-fake or real full name-whenever I'm in trouble? It's not law you have to do that or anything.
"Katie." Legolas growled. "Emily."
"Um.hi?" I said softly. This was not a good time to make him mad. Oh no, not a good time at all. I was in the dog house for sure now.
"I've had it," he continued in a low, angry voice. It was that scary one, the one where people use when they're trying very hard not to knock you out. And an Elf that wants to knock you out is not cool at all. "I have HAD it with you both!"
"I think you've had it for a while, but-" Emily started to say but I clamped one mud covered hand over her mouth. Now was not the time to make Legolas mad, Wallace m'dear.
"Both of you, for now, are going to stay away from the battle in Mordor. You are not going to go out there at all, and you aren't going to move from the place I situate you in," he said, still using the low voice. Oh. No. BAD LEGOLAS! How can he do that? HOW CAN HE DO THAT? They GOTTA mention me in the books.they gotta.
"We swear we'll be good!" I protested weakly. He simply couldn't do that.
"Yeah!" Emily chimed in hopefully. His eyes flashed dangerously.
"No," was the only thing he said and walked over to his horse. Gimli seemed eager to not piss him off anymore and remained quiet as the fuming, mud covered Elf climbed onto the animal. I stood up, dripping in muck (this time not intentionally), scowling at him.
"He can't do that. He can't do that!" I cried softly, and looked at Emily, who looked equally as furious.
"We haven't come this far to be left out like that!" she said defiantly.
"Of course we are not going to listen to him.right?"
"Right."
***************
Grr.this guy means business.Definitely business. What he didn't realize was that so did we. Legolas had taken away all our weapons and anything remotely like one. Aragorn had also quietly asked one of the soldiers to watch us, after Legolas had threatened him with "past stories to share around the fireside." Knowing those two, they'd be humiliating ones. So the soldier had to watch us. Like we were children or something. I could only stare darkly at the back of Legolas' head, cursing him to oblivion under my breath.
The soldier's name was Algeren. He was really the only form of company we had, as Legolas wasn't speaking to us, and Aragorn had to many things on his mind for small talk. Gimli had to go where Legolas went since they were sharing transportation, and like I said before, Legolas wanted nothing to do with us. And Pippin was no where I could see. That left us to talk to Algeren.
It wasn't so bad actually. He was a very nice guy. He actually pitied us. Well, sort of. He thought it was amusing how I tried to help Legolana though. Which is always a bonus when people think you're funny. I think.
"Your tale is enjoyable, though I do think you aren't exactly innocent," he said to us. "For the antics and pranks you have pulled, this is the consequence. From the things you have told me, you have done many things worthy of punishment besides these recent events."
"Well.still.he should have at least thanked me. Doncha think?" I poked his head. The first hour he'd spent with us he learned to simply bat away our hands when he poked him and not take it offensively.
"I'd say he had to obligation to thank you for something he didn't want done."
"Whose side are you on anyway, buddy?"
"'Buddy?'" he repeated curiously.
"Erm.it means friend," I explained quickly. Just as he learned not to mind our poking, he learned to ignore our odd sayings. When we asked him if he noticed our weirdness, he just shrugged and said there are many different people involved in the way he was getting used to the differences. However, sometimes his curiosity got the better of him and he just had to ask what we were talking about. Young fawns are always so curious, that they are.
"Anyway.we have to get into the books, that's why it's bad that the Elf has forbidded us from fighting," I explained.
"You keep saying that, Bart, the whole books thing," Emily said. "What the heck are you talking about?"
"Well.I want them to mention us in history! So when little Middle- earthian children read about this whole spiel, we'll get remembered!" I paused for a minute. "'Excerpt From Random History Book: and there were these two girls, name Katie and Emily, who went along with King Elessar to Mordor and they were spiffy people!'"
"Psh.you want fame, you power hungry tulip squasher!" Emily cried and waved her finger around in my face to make her point. I batted her hand away. Stupid hobbitses.trying to poke my eye out like that.
"Sooo.Algeren.tell us about yeself. We're been rambling on about random and useless things for the past hour and a half and haven't asked anything about you. Got any family? Pet chinchillas? Young plants you care for day in and day out because you have nothing better to do with your life?" Emily asked cheerfully and conversationally. He ignored the plant and chinchilla comments.
"I have a wife and two daughters back in Minas Tirith," he answered, looking wistful. Poor dude. Misses his family. I felt sorry for him.
"Did you say 'I have a wife and two dollars?' Dude, you have two dollars! YOU'RE RICH!" Emily exclaimed excitedly. I thought I told her to use as little modern words as possible. I slapped my forehead in irritation. She's so stupid sometimes.
"Don't confuse him, Emily," I warned her. Even though I was laugh inside. Hey, wouldn't you think it would be funny if someone said, "I have a wife and two dollars?" You would. Trust me. But, just to be polite, and maybe to make him forget about the dollar comment, I asked him and honest, nice, serious question.
"What's their nameses?" Sort of serious sounding at least.
"My wife's name is Kian-"
"Sounds like a boy name," Emily muttered wryly. I whapped her.
"Shut up, Emily."
"And my daughters'-"
"Dollars'," Emily said in time with his voice and she started to giggle. Again, I whapped her.
"Stop being rude, Emily!" I hissed and glared at her. She was bein' mean, man. The dude was only answering my question and yet she ALWAYS just HAD to make sarcastic comments.
"As I was saying-" here he stopped and scowled at Emily, who gave him an innocent smile. "My daughters' names are Leonia and Rizina."
"Sounds like a pasta br-"
"Shut.up."
"Okay, jeez, Katie."
"Ignore her. She's just a bitter old crone who wants attention. Forget about her unceasing, monkey-like screeching and let us continue this conversation!" I said happily. Emily poked my head, muttering about how she was most certainly not a monkey. Liar.
"And what of yourself? Do you have any sisters or brothers?" Algeren asked. Whatever happened to talking about HIM? Oh well.
"I have a younger brother. Andy. He's evil. But not too evil. He's actually quite nice when he wants to be," I added to give him some credit. I decided to forget the many times he'd waved a lego Bond gun around in my face, or the many times he ran around with a coat hanger pretending to shoot arrows like Legolas, or the many times he had been a plain old brat.
"Oh, I'm sure you really do appreciate him," Algeren assured me with a smile. "I remember I was much the same with my own brother."
"Where's he now?" The corner of his mouth twitched visibly, and he tensed up a little. Oops.bad question, Katie.
"He died," Algeren said softly, in a strange voice. "Not.not very long ago did he die, no more than a year or so. When the troops of Mordor first attacked Minas Tirith, my brother and I went with the other soldiers to fight for our families and our home. My brother-I lived. But my brother.he died in my arms on the battle field." I blinked. Then awkwardly patted his shoulder in what I hoped was a comforting way. Emily gave him a sympathetic look.
"Poor baby," she said to him. He gave her a halfhearted odd look at her usage of names, but didn't press the subject.
"Sorry about that." I muttered, feeling guilty for bringing up the topic. I'm so brilliant sometimes.not.
"There is nothing to forgive," he replied with a sad smile. Then his face took on a look of determination. "I will avenge my brother yet." Spiffiness! This guy rocks!
Hope he doesn't die.
*****************************
We were nearing the Morannon-the Black Gate. Another hour or so and we'd be right in front of it. The thought of that sent shivers down my spine. Black Gate equals bad. Peter Jackson got the visual picture okay, but he'd never be able to get down how big it was.
"There is dust in the air," Emily commented from behind me and wrinkled her nose. Obstinate Fool sneezed, seeming to agree with us. I always knew the horse would learn to love us and agree with us.
"You noticed," I muttered dryly and shushed her. Anyway, like I was saying, the Gate was very big. And very black. Here I was thinking it'd be a little pony pen gate.Well, not quite that actually. A little bigger and scarier than a pony pen gate. But eh, whatever.
Drums and horns started up. The Black Gate was thrown open quite suddenly, and out came a man on horseback, and with him came black clothed guards. His stead was pure black, blacker than night. Well.that's not quite true. If you really think about it, night is more purply black than blacky black. So maybe jet-black? Coal black? Why am I contemplating the color of his horse at a time like this?
The rider was also clothed in black (no, I will not tell you what kind of black again.we've been there once already), and his face was rather more of a mask, with flames burning in it's eye sockets and nostrals. Armies of the West, meet Mouth of Sauron. Mouth of Sauron; meet the people who want to kick your ass.
"Dun dun da dun." Emily hummed. I grinned a little. Humor is a nice thing in these situations.
"Sh," Algeren said in the faintest whisper. I peered over the many helms in order to see. I strained to hear.
"Closer?" I asked Algeren, and he nodded, looking like he wanted to know what was going on just as much as I did. We pushed our horses forward a little, until we were in hearing distance. The Mouth of Sauron had just gestured for one of his guards to bring forward something. Oh God.Not Frodo and Sammy Boy's stuff.The guard lay out Sam's sword, an Elven brooch and cloak, and Frodo's mithril mail. I cringed. Pippin let out a cry. Poor little lad.Ahead of me I saw Legolas and Gimli bow there heads in sadness.
Must not tell.must not tell.CANNOT GIVE AWAY PLOT! Don't even THINK it, Katie!
Gandalf and the Mouth of Sauron began to negotiate the return of the two hobbitses. I bit my lip to keep myself from shouting out, and say that they were all wrong and Sam and Frodo were going to be okay. That would certainly not help anything. Stupid hobbits.making everyone worry like this.They oughta be ashamed of themselves.
Eventually, Gandalf grabbed the hobbits' items away from the Mouth of Sauron, who rode back inside in anger. His guards blew their horns, and the Morannon opened up to reveal the Host of Mordor. Uh.Gulp?
*******************
La ba da doom.I updated.YAY! *claps randomly*
Already hating school.tis taking out of my fanfic writing time! And Jacob the Teacozy (aka Emily) won't leave me alone.*immitates Emily* "Katie, write more!" and "Katie, I'll kill you if you don't write more!" No offense Emily.at least she got me writing.
I want the sacred DVD, by the way, Jacob. Pwease?
legolas stalker: Not for sale! *holds hair protectively* Maybe she will, maybe she won't write another one! NOT TELLING! You.have.Legolas T-shirt? GIVES IT TO US!!! *hisses*
The Milkman: Must.breathe.*gasps for air* I'm alive still! Haven't suffocated.yet.Yes, she is listening to Evanescence. Knives are FUN! I will support Dib's Empire even though I don't know her! *random people clap for Katie for some odd reason*
Dr. Evil and Wise Woman: Busy is something I know well.*mutter incoherent rude things about school under her breath* Thank you for the.eh.VAST knowledge.
Dy: NOOO! HAROLD! STAY AWAY FROM THE WEED EATER! *throw Harold in a shoebox and glares* You no touch the dandelion!
I'm back to slaving away, trying to move four pencils from my hexagon of pens and pencils to create three triangles.stupid math.stupid toothpicks.stupid stupidness.
A/N: Remember to read the rewritten chapter ten! I made it different (sort of).
Other A/N: *grovels at Tolkien's feet* Forgive me for creating stupid and pathetic excuses for Gondorian names such as Algeren and Kian and Leonia and Rizina.I AM NOT WORTHY! Yeah.I created though people too. No use. Not that you'd WANT to use them.*again grovels at Tolkien's feet* Just one more apology to make.Please pardon my stupid, dirty hide for creating a self- inserted Mary Sue fanfic. I swear on my copy of the Fellowship of the Ring that I will never, so long as I live, create another one of these. *bows her head in shame*
Now.on with the fic!
CHAPTER ELEVEN
"Katie, you made me run into you and Legolas! And now we're all in the mud. Again. God.Kaitlin Deleno Twiss, you are under house arrest!" Emily spat and wiped mud out of her mouth. Why does everyone insist on using my full name-fake or real full name-whenever I'm in trouble? It's not law you have to do that or anything.
"Katie." Legolas growled. "Emily."
"Um.hi?" I said softly. This was not a good time to make him mad. Oh no, not a good time at all. I was in the dog house for sure now.
"I've had it," he continued in a low, angry voice. It was that scary one, the one where people use when they're trying very hard not to knock you out. And an Elf that wants to knock you out is not cool at all. "I have HAD it with you both!"
"I think you've had it for a while, but-" Emily started to say but I clamped one mud covered hand over her mouth. Now was not the time to make Legolas mad, Wallace m'dear.
"Both of you, for now, are going to stay away from the battle in Mordor. You are not going to go out there at all, and you aren't going to move from the place I situate you in," he said, still using the low voice. Oh. No. BAD LEGOLAS! How can he do that? HOW CAN HE DO THAT? They GOTTA mention me in the books.they gotta.
"We swear we'll be good!" I protested weakly. He simply couldn't do that.
"Yeah!" Emily chimed in hopefully. His eyes flashed dangerously.
"No," was the only thing he said and walked over to his horse. Gimli seemed eager to not piss him off anymore and remained quiet as the fuming, mud covered Elf climbed onto the animal. I stood up, dripping in muck (this time not intentionally), scowling at him.
"He can't do that. He can't do that!" I cried softly, and looked at Emily, who looked equally as furious.
"We haven't come this far to be left out like that!" she said defiantly.
"Of course we are not going to listen to him.right?"
"Right."
***************
Grr.this guy means business.Definitely business. What he didn't realize was that so did we. Legolas had taken away all our weapons and anything remotely like one. Aragorn had also quietly asked one of the soldiers to watch us, after Legolas had threatened him with "past stories to share around the fireside." Knowing those two, they'd be humiliating ones. So the soldier had to watch us. Like we were children or something. I could only stare darkly at the back of Legolas' head, cursing him to oblivion under my breath.
The soldier's name was Algeren. He was really the only form of company we had, as Legolas wasn't speaking to us, and Aragorn had to many things on his mind for small talk. Gimli had to go where Legolas went since they were sharing transportation, and like I said before, Legolas wanted nothing to do with us. And Pippin was no where I could see. That left us to talk to Algeren.
It wasn't so bad actually. He was a very nice guy. He actually pitied us. Well, sort of. He thought it was amusing how I tried to help Legolana though. Which is always a bonus when people think you're funny. I think.
"Your tale is enjoyable, though I do think you aren't exactly innocent," he said to us. "For the antics and pranks you have pulled, this is the consequence. From the things you have told me, you have done many things worthy of punishment besides these recent events."
"Well.still.he should have at least thanked me. Doncha think?" I poked his head. The first hour he'd spent with us he learned to simply bat away our hands when he poked him and not take it offensively.
"I'd say he had to obligation to thank you for something he didn't want done."
"Whose side are you on anyway, buddy?"
"'Buddy?'" he repeated curiously.
"Erm.it means friend," I explained quickly. Just as he learned not to mind our poking, he learned to ignore our odd sayings. When we asked him if he noticed our weirdness, he just shrugged and said there are many different people involved in the way he was getting used to the differences. However, sometimes his curiosity got the better of him and he just had to ask what we were talking about. Young fawns are always so curious, that they are.
"Anyway.we have to get into the books, that's why it's bad that the Elf has forbidded us from fighting," I explained.
"You keep saying that, Bart, the whole books thing," Emily said. "What the heck are you talking about?"
"Well.I want them to mention us in history! So when little Middle- earthian children read about this whole spiel, we'll get remembered!" I paused for a minute. "'Excerpt From Random History Book: and there were these two girls, name Katie and Emily, who went along with King Elessar to Mordor and they were spiffy people!'"
"Psh.you want fame, you power hungry tulip squasher!" Emily cried and waved her finger around in my face to make her point. I batted her hand away. Stupid hobbitses.trying to poke my eye out like that.
"Sooo.Algeren.tell us about yeself. We're been rambling on about random and useless things for the past hour and a half and haven't asked anything about you. Got any family? Pet chinchillas? Young plants you care for day in and day out because you have nothing better to do with your life?" Emily asked cheerfully and conversationally. He ignored the plant and chinchilla comments.
"I have a wife and two daughters back in Minas Tirith," he answered, looking wistful. Poor dude. Misses his family. I felt sorry for him.
"Did you say 'I have a wife and two dollars?' Dude, you have two dollars! YOU'RE RICH!" Emily exclaimed excitedly. I thought I told her to use as little modern words as possible. I slapped my forehead in irritation. She's so stupid sometimes.
"Don't confuse him, Emily," I warned her. Even though I was laugh inside. Hey, wouldn't you think it would be funny if someone said, "I have a wife and two dollars?" You would. Trust me. But, just to be polite, and maybe to make him forget about the dollar comment, I asked him and honest, nice, serious question.
"What's their nameses?" Sort of serious sounding at least.
"My wife's name is Kian-"
"Sounds like a boy name," Emily muttered wryly. I whapped her.
"Shut up, Emily."
"And my daughters'-"
"Dollars'," Emily said in time with his voice and she started to giggle. Again, I whapped her.
"Stop being rude, Emily!" I hissed and glared at her. She was bein' mean, man. The dude was only answering my question and yet she ALWAYS just HAD to make sarcastic comments.
"As I was saying-" here he stopped and scowled at Emily, who gave him an innocent smile. "My daughters' names are Leonia and Rizina."
"Sounds like a pasta br-"
"Shut.up."
"Okay, jeez, Katie."
"Ignore her. She's just a bitter old crone who wants attention. Forget about her unceasing, monkey-like screeching and let us continue this conversation!" I said happily. Emily poked my head, muttering about how she was most certainly not a monkey. Liar.
"And what of yourself? Do you have any sisters or brothers?" Algeren asked. Whatever happened to talking about HIM? Oh well.
"I have a younger brother. Andy. He's evil. But not too evil. He's actually quite nice when he wants to be," I added to give him some credit. I decided to forget the many times he'd waved a lego Bond gun around in my face, or the many times he ran around with a coat hanger pretending to shoot arrows like Legolas, or the many times he had been a plain old brat.
"Oh, I'm sure you really do appreciate him," Algeren assured me with a smile. "I remember I was much the same with my own brother."
"Where's he now?" The corner of his mouth twitched visibly, and he tensed up a little. Oops.bad question, Katie.
"He died," Algeren said softly, in a strange voice. "Not.not very long ago did he die, no more than a year or so. When the troops of Mordor first attacked Minas Tirith, my brother and I went with the other soldiers to fight for our families and our home. My brother-I lived. But my brother.he died in my arms on the battle field." I blinked. Then awkwardly patted his shoulder in what I hoped was a comforting way. Emily gave him a sympathetic look.
"Poor baby," she said to him. He gave her a halfhearted odd look at her usage of names, but didn't press the subject.
"Sorry about that." I muttered, feeling guilty for bringing up the topic. I'm so brilliant sometimes.not.
"There is nothing to forgive," he replied with a sad smile. Then his face took on a look of determination. "I will avenge my brother yet." Spiffiness! This guy rocks!
Hope he doesn't die.
*****************************
We were nearing the Morannon-the Black Gate. Another hour or so and we'd be right in front of it. The thought of that sent shivers down my spine. Black Gate equals bad. Peter Jackson got the visual picture okay, but he'd never be able to get down how big it was.
"There is dust in the air," Emily commented from behind me and wrinkled her nose. Obstinate Fool sneezed, seeming to agree with us. I always knew the horse would learn to love us and agree with us.
"You noticed," I muttered dryly and shushed her. Anyway, like I was saying, the Gate was very big. And very black. Here I was thinking it'd be a little pony pen gate.Well, not quite that actually. A little bigger and scarier than a pony pen gate. But eh, whatever.
Drums and horns started up. The Black Gate was thrown open quite suddenly, and out came a man on horseback, and with him came black clothed guards. His stead was pure black, blacker than night. Well.that's not quite true. If you really think about it, night is more purply black than blacky black. So maybe jet-black? Coal black? Why am I contemplating the color of his horse at a time like this?
The rider was also clothed in black (no, I will not tell you what kind of black again.we've been there once already), and his face was rather more of a mask, with flames burning in it's eye sockets and nostrals. Armies of the West, meet Mouth of Sauron. Mouth of Sauron; meet the people who want to kick your ass.
"Dun dun da dun." Emily hummed. I grinned a little. Humor is a nice thing in these situations.
"Sh," Algeren said in the faintest whisper. I peered over the many helms in order to see. I strained to hear.
"Closer?" I asked Algeren, and he nodded, looking like he wanted to know what was going on just as much as I did. We pushed our horses forward a little, until we were in hearing distance. The Mouth of Sauron had just gestured for one of his guards to bring forward something. Oh God.Not Frodo and Sammy Boy's stuff.The guard lay out Sam's sword, an Elven brooch and cloak, and Frodo's mithril mail. I cringed. Pippin let out a cry. Poor little lad.Ahead of me I saw Legolas and Gimli bow there heads in sadness.
Must not tell.must not tell.CANNOT GIVE AWAY PLOT! Don't even THINK it, Katie!
Gandalf and the Mouth of Sauron began to negotiate the return of the two hobbitses. I bit my lip to keep myself from shouting out, and say that they were all wrong and Sam and Frodo were going to be okay. That would certainly not help anything. Stupid hobbits.making everyone worry like this.They oughta be ashamed of themselves.
Eventually, Gandalf grabbed the hobbits' items away from the Mouth of Sauron, who rode back inside in anger. His guards blew their horns, and the Morannon opened up to reveal the Host of Mordor. Uh.Gulp?
*******************
La ba da doom.I updated.YAY! *claps randomly*
Already hating school.tis taking out of my fanfic writing time! And Jacob the Teacozy (aka Emily) won't leave me alone.*immitates Emily* "Katie, write more!" and "Katie, I'll kill you if you don't write more!" No offense Emily.at least she got me writing.
I want the sacred DVD, by the way, Jacob. Pwease?
legolas stalker: Not for sale! *holds hair protectively* Maybe she will, maybe she won't write another one! NOT TELLING! You.have.Legolas T-shirt? GIVES IT TO US!!! *hisses*
The Milkman: Must.breathe.*gasps for air* I'm alive still! Haven't suffocated.yet.Yes, she is listening to Evanescence. Knives are FUN! I will support Dib's Empire even though I don't know her! *random people clap for Katie for some odd reason*
Dr. Evil and Wise Woman: Busy is something I know well.*mutter incoherent rude things about school under her breath* Thank you for the.eh.VAST knowledge.
Dy: NOOO! HAROLD! STAY AWAY FROM THE WEED EATER! *throw Harold in a shoebox and glares* You no touch the dandelion!
I'm back to slaving away, trying to move four pencils from my hexagon of pens and pencils to create three triangles.stupid math.stupid toothpicks.stupid stupidness.