He woke up from a fitful sleep, sobbing. Not just crying, but body-wracking sobs. His fists were clenched so hard that his knuckles were white. The sheets that entangled him were soaked with sweat. Mulder was not unaccustomed to these sleeping habits. In fact, he had been waking up like this at least twice a week for eighteen months. Eighteen months. That's how long Scully has been gone. He will never forget the night that she left is life.

**FLASHBACK**

Mulder had dragged Scully on another one of his wild goose chases. Or should he say, his wild paranormal chases. Either way, she did not want to come, but she came dutifully because it was her responsibility to keep Mulder in line.

"Mulder, are you sure these alleged alien sightings are even mildly substantial? They sound like the typical 'little green men in flying saucers if you ask me.'"

"Scully, it *is* about little green men..err..gray men. We just have to check it out. I promise I'll have you home in your bed this time tomorrow."

"Sure. Fine. Whatever," Scully uttered her typical response.

So, the duo headed towards the fields that were dotted with crop circles. All of the sudden, the all-too-familiar blinding light enveloped the sky. Scully had inadvertently walked right into it. It was as if she didn't know it was there. Mulder screamed as the light disappeared, along with his faithful partner. He begged with the skies to bring her back. He couldn't lose another person to the blinding light. To THEM.

"Why??! Why couldn't you've taken me?? She didn't do anything!!! I made her come!!! Let her go!!" Mulder's screams and protests turned into whimpers, which subsequently turned into sobs. Mulder was left in the dark, alone.

**BACK TO PRESENT**

As he sat in the dark, alone on his couch, he tried to calm himself down. As his breathing became more regular, he thought about the last year-and-a-half.

He still could not get over the fact that it had been his fault she was gone. It was bad enough when he couldn't stop THEM from taking his sister, but now he had practically walked Scully up to the door of the spaceship. For six whole months he searched endlessly for her, but all his attempts were in vain. During those six months, he ate and slept only enough to continue on his search. During that time, no developments were uncovered. Not one fucking clue as to where Scully was. After that, he quit the FBI. No more. He could not take it anymore. Skinner accepted his resignation without so much as a grunt.

[Fuck Skinner] Mulder thought. [Fuck the whole damn government.]

For the past year, Mulder had devoted all of his time to research. None of his studies led him any closer to Scully. Even the Lone Gunmen were at a loss. But he did not quit. Until now.

After he finished brooding over the past eighteen months, Mulder suddenly became aware of how dark and quiet his apartment was. Deadly silent, except for the drone of the television. He realized that he had to move on. THEY would never give Scully back.

[I have to get back to life, and search for Scully and the truth only part of the time. I need a job.]

He really *did* need a job. Since he quit the FBI a year ago, he had exhausted all of his funds. Mulder decided then and there to find a job tomorrow. He did not want to waste the rest of his life.