A/N: This is the long awaited sequel to "Goodbye to you". I'm sorry that it took me so long!
Like in "Goodbye to you" SLASH between Legolas and Glorfindel is mentioned, if you don't like it, don't read it!
Please review and tell me what you think!
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Tolkien and the song "If I could turn back the Hands of Time" belongs to R. Kelly!
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If I could turn back the Hands of Time
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It had been such a long journey, loss and pain had been endured and things had finally come clear.
Now Legolas Greenleaf, son of Thranduil, King of Mirkwood, was on his way to Rivendell. For centuries he had avoided this place as much as possible.
He hadn't wanted to see Glorfindel, his former lover.
They had been together since Legolas' youth and the young Elf hadn't had any other lover, not before and not after his relationship to the Eldar. Glorfindel had hurt him; he had betrayed him with the woman who had been his wife in Gondolin. All the time he had told Legolas that his parents had forced him to marry her and the prince had believed him. After all she had been no problem for everybody had believed that she had died the day Gondolin had fallen. When she had come back Legolas had found the two of them together - in bed. After that he had left Rivendell as fast as possible. Even though Glorfindel had insisted that she had laid a spell on him, Legolas heart had refused to believe him. It had just sounded so ridiculous.
The prince knew how worried his father had been after his return, for weeks they had feared for his life. But then he had realized how much Thranduil would have suffered if he had died and so he had decided to move on. Of course, it had taken him some time to get over it, but eventually he had managed. Only now and then, when he had had to visit Elrond's House for some reason, the pain had been so terrible as it had been on the first day.
Now, after he had faced death many times, after he had seen such terrible things, he had come to realize how much he still loved Glorfindel. The thought of never seeing his face again was unbearable.
So he had decided to come back to Rivendell almost immediately. After a short visit in Mirkwood to see his father he had left again.
He needed to apologize; he needed to talk to him.
Legolas understood that Glorfindel probably wouldn't forgive him after all he should have believed him when he had told him that he hadn't done it out of his own free will. He should have trusted his lover. They had been together for so long.
Now the prince knew that but maybe it was too late.
Even though he was afraid of facing Glorfindel now Legolas rode pretty hard, he didn't want to waste any more time than he already had.
Finally he saw the peaceful valley of Rivendell.
Soon he would know if his beloved would give him one more chance.
When he rode into the courtyard, Elrond, who had seen him from afar, came towards him.
The Elven lord smiled as the prince dismounted, but Legolas couldn't help the feeling that something was wrong.
After giving his stallion Arod to the care of one of the servants he walked towards the dark-haired half-elf. "My Lord, it's good to see you again."
"It's good to see you as well, Legolas. How did you fare?"
"Well, the journey was long and hard, but it's over now. I try not to look back, but into the future. By the way, Aragorn is already wondering when Arwen will join him in Gondor."
Elrond laughed softly. "I knew he would be impatient. My daughter is on her way already. I only accompanied her to Lorien, I had to come back here to see that everything would be rebuilt properly. Imladris was attacked as well."
"Oh, I hope there weren't too many losses?" Legolas asked with worry in his voice.
But Elrond hesitated. No, 'only' three Elves had died, but the problem was something different. He didn't know how to tell the younger Elf. "No, only three."
"That's... that's not much, compared to Rohan and Gondor."
"Yes, I guess you are right."
"My Lord, I don't want to be impolite but I need to talk to Glorfindel. Is he at home?"
For a moment Elrond was completely silent. He couldn't bring himself to speak, but then he overcame this feeling. Legolas had a right to know. "He has fallen, young one. He died protecting Elladan." There was no more to say; to talk about his best friend's death hurt the Lord of Rivendell terribly.
For a moment Legolas didn't feel anything, he couldn't... didn't want to... believe it. Glorfindel couldn't be dead. That was impossible!
Not now, now that everything could have been well again.
Then he could only think of all the time, which had been wasted. They had loved each other and he had just left him, ignoring his pleading. And now he couldn't make it up to him anymore.
Too late, all too late.
~ How did I ever let you slip away
Never knowing
I'd be singing this song some day
And now I'm sinking, sinking to rise no more
Ever since you closed the door ~
Legolas just stood there for a moment.
He wasn't able to speak, to move or to cry. It was as if time stood still, as if he had fallen into a deep hole and there was no way, which led out of this endless darkness.
Even though he looked to the ground he couldn't see it, like everything else around him it had just faded.
It took him minutes to overcome the worst shock.
His state worried Elrond and so he came towards the younger Elf and rested one hand on his shoulder. "Are you alright?" He asked in a gentle voice, his eyes never leaving the other's face.
Slowly Legolas became aware of his surroundings again and returned the Elven-lord's gaze. Then he nodded, still it seemed as if he was in dream.
He wanted to ask something but he had to swallow a few times before he was able to speak again. "May I... see his grave?"
"Of course, follow me."
Elrond walked on the prince's side, ready to support him, if his strength should fail. He knew that the love between those two had still been strong, even though they had parted.
It was obvious how shocked Legolas was.
They walked into the gardens, and under a great tree, a willow, they stopped.
There was a stone in which letters had been carved. It was decorated with carved leaves and many flowers lay before it.
Legolas had to concentrate hard to be able to read the words.
Glorfindel
Killer of Balrogs and lord-herold of Imladris
You returned from death once to help us in a great battle
May you rest in peace this time
You will not be forgotten, eternal golden hero
While reading this, the tears finally overcame Legolas.
He was gone, gone forever.
Nothing he could do; would ever bring him back. It was over.
And he couldn't help but think that everything could have gone differently. Maybe if he had come back to him in time it would have changed things. Maybe then Glorfindel would have fought harder to survive. He knew it was probably nonsense, but those thoughts didn't leave his mind.
If someone had offered him one more chance Legolas would have paid any price.
~ If I could turn, turn back the hands of time
Then my darlin' you'd still be mine
If I could turn, turn back the hands of time
Then my darlin' you'd still be mine ~
Elrond watched the prince for a few moments. The blond Elf cried silently, still he didn't move and the sobs were so soft that it was hard to hear them at all, even for the Elven-lord's fine ears.
"Legolas," he said after a long pause. "My dear boy, can I do anything for you?"
Big blue eyes looked up at him with such sadness that it broke his heart.
"No," the younger Elf whispered. "Would you please leave me alone, my Lord?"
Elrond hesitated briefly.
Should he really leave him like that?
Well, he had to respect his wishes, even though he didn't like it. And Legolas probably needed some time to handle his grief.
"Alright, I'll be waiting in the Halls of Fire if you need me."
The Prince of Mirkwood only nodded and listened to the half-elf's steps.
When he was alone he dropped to his knees and buried his face in his hands.
He saw everything before his eyes once more, the good things they had shared and the bad things they had endured together. Glorfindel's sweet kisses, his protective embrace, the way he had held and comforted him after his mother's death, he had come to Mirkwood so swiftly, the many nights they had spent under the stars, the love they had made, the fun they had had...
Legolas felt his heart brake over and over again.
All he wanted was to hold his beloved once more, just once more.
But there were dreams, which would never come true.
~ Funny, funny how time goes by
And blessings are missed in the wink of an eye
Why oh why oh why should one
have to go on suffering
When every day I plead please come back to me ~
He remembered the desperation on Glorfindel's face when he had left Rivendell after that terrible... misunderstanding.
Why hadn't he changed his mind?
The Eldar had loved him more than anything in this world.
How had he been able to doubt that?
Why had he turned his back on him, left him alone with the guilt he had been feeling, even though it had not been his fault he had blamed himself for hurting Legolas. Elrohir had told him so when he had visited Mirkwood.
Now it was his turn to feel guilty.
If he had come back to Glorfindel they could have spent so many more years together.
Now he was alone, more alone than ever before in his entire life.
~ And you had enough love for the both of us
But I, I, I did you wrong I admit I did
But now I'm facing the rest of my life alone ~
"I'm sorry, meleth nîn," the shaken prince whispered between sobs. He had to talk to him, speak about everything, just hoping that his lover could hear him somehow. "I'm sorry, for hurting you. I should have trusted you when you told me about the spell. I wish I hadn't left. I wish I could just turn back the time and see your beautiful eyes again. I'm sorry."
~ I'd never hurt you (If I could turn back)
Never do you wrong (If I could turn back)
And never leave your side (If I could turn back)
If I could turn back the hands ~
Legolas fingers carefully followed the elegant letters on the cold stone.
So cold - and still all he remembered was Glorfindel's warm skin. When his head had rested on his lover's chest and all he had heard had been the strong heartbeats the prince had found true peace.
A peace he would never find again, never.
From now on love would be nothing but a dream. There would be no one else but Glorfindel, Legolas knew that. No one would be able to replace his love, not even if another thousand years would pass.
He would remain true to him until the end of all times.
And maybe, just maybe, they would be reunited then and peace would enter his heart again.
The kind of peace nothing but Glorfindel's arms could give him.
Legolas wondered if the Eldar had forgiven him before his death.
~ There'll be nothing I wouldn't do for you
(If I could turn back)
Forever honest and true to you
(If I could turn back)
If you accept me back in your heart, I love you
If I could turn back the hands ~
"Come back to me, come back to me, come back to me..." Legolas' voice broke but his mind continued to beg.
'Please come back, come back, I cannot live without you, come back...'
For what seemed an eternity that was all, the fair Elf could think about.
~ (If I could turn back) That would be my will
(If I could turn back) Darlin' I'm begging you
to take me by the hands ~
Until that moment Legolas had knelt but now his body failed. There wasn't even enough strength for kneeling anymore. He broke down, partly lying on the flowers, which had been brought to honor Glorfindel.
His words seemed to be sobs, if anybody had been there he wouldn't have been able to understand anything. "I'll wait for you, meleth nîn, forever if I have to."
~ If I could turn back the hands
I'm going down yes I am
(If I could turn back)
Down on my bended knee yeah
(If I could turn back)
And I'm gonna be right there
until you return to me ~
Why hadn't he realized that earlier?
Why hadn't he thought of the possibility that one of them could die during that long time of avoiding each other?
Why, by Elbereth, hadn't he thought of it?
He knew the answer and it was as painful as the question itself: Elves were immortal; they weren't supposed to die. It was nothing to consider.
~ If I could turn back the hands
(If I could turn back) If I could just turn back that little clock on the wall
(If I could turn back) ~
Legolas hadn't realized that it had grown dark half an hour before he looked up to the sky and saw a star.
Fist he thought it was Eärendil, but then he saw that it was not. But still it was nearly as bright and beautiful, it seemed that it was shining down on him to dry his tears and warm his heart again.
A grateful smile came to the prince's lips, but his tears didn't stop falling. "Thank you," he whispered hoarsely and quietly - too low for any ears to hear. Slowly he stood up and looked at the grave once more. "I will keep my promise of being true to you this time, meleth nîn. I love you."
Then he turned around, never to come back again.
But in his heart the memories never faded.
~ Then I'd come to realize how much
I love you, love you, love you,
love you, love you ~
THE END
Like in "Goodbye to you" SLASH between Legolas and Glorfindel is mentioned, if you don't like it, don't read it!
Please review and tell me what you think!
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Tolkien and the song "If I could turn back the Hands of Time" belongs to R. Kelly!
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If I could turn back the Hands of Time
******************************
It had been such a long journey, loss and pain had been endured and things had finally come clear.
Now Legolas Greenleaf, son of Thranduil, King of Mirkwood, was on his way to Rivendell. For centuries he had avoided this place as much as possible.
He hadn't wanted to see Glorfindel, his former lover.
They had been together since Legolas' youth and the young Elf hadn't had any other lover, not before and not after his relationship to the Eldar. Glorfindel had hurt him; he had betrayed him with the woman who had been his wife in Gondolin. All the time he had told Legolas that his parents had forced him to marry her and the prince had believed him. After all she had been no problem for everybody had believed that she had died the day Gondolin had fallen. When she had come back Legolas had found the two of them together - in bed. After that he had left Rivendell as fast as possible. Even though Glorfindel had insisted that she had laid a spell on him, Legolas heart had refused to believe him. It had just sounded so ridiculous.
The prince knew how worried his father had been after his return, for weeks they had feared for his life. But then he had realized how much Thranduil would have suffered if he had died and so he had decided to move on. Of course, it had taken him some time to get over it, but eventually he had managed. Only now and then, when he had had to visit Elrond's House for some reason, the pain had been so terrible as it had been on the first day.
Now, after he had faced death many times, after he had seen such terrible things, he had come to realize how much he still loved Glorfindel. The thought of never seeing his face again was unbearable.
So he had decided to come back to Rivendell almost immediately. After a short visit in Mirkwood to see his father he had left again.
He needed to apologize; he needed to talk to him.
Legolas understood that Glorfindel probably wouldn't forgive him after all he should have believed him when he had told him that he hadn't done it out of his own free will. He should have trusted his lover. They had been together for so long.
Now the prince knew that but maybe it was too late.
Even though he was afraid of facing Glorfindel now Legolas rode pretty hard, he didn't want to waste any more time than he already had.
Finally he saw the peaceful valley of Rivendell.
Soon he would know if his beloved would give him one more chance.
When he rode into the courtyard, Elrond, who had seen him from afar, came towards him.
The Elven lord smiled as the prince dismounted, but Legolas couldn't help the feeling that something was wrong.
After giving his stallion Arod to the care of one of the servants he walked towards the dark-haired half-elf. "My Lord, it's good to see you again."
"It's good to see you as well, Legolas. How did you fare?"
"Well, the journey was long and hard, but it's over now. I try not to look back, but into the future. By the way, Aragorn is already wondering when Arwen will join him in Gondor."
Elrond laughed softly. "I knew he would be impatient. My daughter is on her way already. I only accompanied her to Lorien, I had to come back here to see that everything would be rebuilt properly. Imladris was attacked as well."
"Oh, I hope there weren't too many losses?" Legolas asked with worry in his voice.
But Elrond hesitated. No, 'only' three Elves had died, but the problem was something different. He didn't know how to tell the younger Elf. "No, only three."
"That's... that's not much, compared to Rohan and Gondor."
"Yes, I guess you are right."
"My Lord, I don't want to be impolite but I need to talk to Glorfindel. Is he at home?"
For a moment Elrond was completely silent. He couldn't bring himself to speak, but then he overcame this feeling. Legolas had a right to know. "He has fallen, young one. He died protecting Elladan." There was no more to say; to talk about his best friend's death hurt the Lord of Rivendell terribly.
For a moment Legolas didn't feel anything, he couldn't... didn't want to... believe it. Glorfindel couldn't be dead. That was impossible!
Not now, now that everything could have been well again.
Then he could only think of all the time, which had been wasted. They had loved each other and he had just left him, ignoring his pleading. And now he couldn't make it up to him anymore.
Too late, all too late.
~ How did I ever let you slip away
Never knowing
I'd be singing this song some day
And now I'm sinking, sinking to rise no more
Ever since you closed the door ~
Legolas just stood there for a moment.
He wasn't able to speak, to move or to cry. It was as if time stood still, as if he had fallen into a deep hole and there was no way, which led out of this endless darkness.
Even though he looked to the ground he couldn't see it, like everything else around him it had just faded.
It took him minutes to overcome the worst shock.
His state worried Elrond and so he came towards the younger Elf and rested one hand on his shoulder. "Are you alright?" He asked in a gentle voice, his eyes never leaving the other's face.
Slowly Legolas became aware of his surroundings again and returned the Elven-lord's gaze. Then he nodded, still it seemed as if he was in dream.
He wanted to ask something but he had to swallow a few times before he was able to speak again. "May I... see his grave?"
"Of course, follow me."
Elrond walked on the prince's side, ready to support him, if his strength should fail. He knew that the love between those two had still been strong, even though they had parted.
It was obvious how shocked Legolas was.
They walked into the gardens, and under a great tree, a willow, they stopped.
There was a stone in which letters had been carved. It was decorated with carved leaves and many flowers lay before it.
Legolas had to concentrate hard to be able to read the words.
Glorfindel
Killer of Balrogs and lord-herold of Imladris
You returned from death once to help us in a great battle
May you rest in peace this time
You will not be forgotten, eternal golden hero
While reading this, the tears finally overcame Legolas.
He was gone, gone forever.
Nothing he could do; would ever bring him back. It was over.
And he couldn't help but think that everything could have gone differently. Maybe if he had come back to him in time it would have changed things. Maybe then Glorfindel would have fought harder to survive. He knew it was probably nonsense, but those thoughts didn't leave his mind.
If someone had offered him one more chance Legolas would have paid any price.
~ If I could turn, turn back the hands of time
Then my darlin' you'd still be mine
If I could turn, turn back the hands of time
Then my darlin' you'd still be mine ~
Elrond watched the prince for a few moments. The blond Elf cried silently, still he didn't move and the sobs were so soft that it was hard to hear them at all, even for the Elven-lord's fine ears.
"Legolas," he said after a long pause. "My dear boy, can I do anything for you?"
Big blue eyes looked up at him with such sadness that it broke his heart.
"No," the younger Elf whispered. "Would you please leave me alone, my Lord?"
Elrond hesitated briefly.
Should he really leave him like that?
Well, he had to respect his wishes, even though he didn't like it. And Legolas probably needed some time to handle his grief.
"Alright, I'll be waiting in the Halls of Fire if you need me."
The Prince of Mirkwood only nodded and listened to the half-elf's steps.
When he was alone he dropped to his knees and buried his face in his hands.
He saw everything before his eyes once more, the good things they had shared and the bad things they had endured together. Glorfindel's sweet kisses, his protective embrace, the way he had held and comforted him after his mother's death, he had come to Mirkwood so swiftly, the many nights they had spent under the stars, the love they had made, the fun they had had...
Legolas felt his heart brake over and over again.
All he wanted was to hold his beloved once more, just once more.
But there were dreams, which would never come true.
~ Funny, funny how time goes by
And blessings are missed in the wink of an eye
Why oh why oh why should one
have to go on suffering
When every day I plead please come back to me ~
He remembered the desperation on Glorfindel's face when he had left Rivendell after that terrible... misunderstanding.
Why hadn't he changed his mind?
The Eldar had loved him more than anything in this world.
How had he been able to doubt that?
Why had he turned his back on him, left him alone with the guilt he had been feeling, even though it had not been his fault he had blamed himself for hurting Legolas. Elrohir had told him so when he had visited Mirkwood.
Now it was his turn to feel guilty.
If he had come back to Glorfindel they could have spent so many more years together.
Now he was alone, more alone than ever before in his entire life.
~ And you had enough love for the both of us
But I, I, I did you wrong I admit I did
But now I'm facing the rest of my life alone ~
"I'm sorry, meleth nîn," the shaken prince whispered between sobs. He had to talk to him, speak about everything, just hoping that his lover could hear him somehow. "I'm sorry, for hurting you. I should have trusted you when you told me about the spell. I wish I hadn't left. I wish I could just turn back the time and see your beautiful eyes again. I'm sorry."
~ I'd never hurt you (If I could turn back)
Never do you wrong (If I could turn back)
And never leave your side (If I could turn back)
If I could turn back the hands ~
Legolas fingers carefully followed the elegant letters on the cold stone.
So cold - and still all he remembered was Glorfindel's warm skin. When his head had rested on his lover's chest and all he had heard had been the strong heartbeats the prince had found true peace.
A peace he would never find again, never.
From now on love would be nothing but a dream. There would be no one else but Glorfindel, Legolas knew that. No one would be able to replace his love, not even if another thousand years would pass.
He would remain true to him until the end of all times.
And maybe, just maybe, they would be reunited then and peace would enter his heart again.
The kind of peace nothing but Glorfindel's arms could give him.
Legolas wondered if the Eldar had forgiven him before his death.
~ There'll be nothing I wouldn't do for you
(If I could turn back)
Forever honest and true to you
(If I could turn back)
If you accept me back in your heart, I love you
If I could turn back the hands ~
"Come back to me, come back to me, come back to me..." Legolas' voice broke but his mind continued to beg.
'Please come back, come back, I cannot live without you, come back...'
For what seemed an eternity that was all, the fair Elf could think about.
~ (If I could turn back) That would be my will
(If I could turn back) Darlin' I'm begging you
to take me by the hands ~
Until that moment Legolas had knelt but now his body failed. There wasn't even enough strength for kneeling anymore. He broke down, partly lying on the flowers, which had been brought to honor Glorfindel.
His words seemed to be sobs, if anybody had been there he wouldn't have been able to understand anything. "I'll wait for you, meleth nîn, forever if I have to."
~ If I could turn back the hands
I'm going down yes I am
(If I could turn back)
Down on my bended knee yeah
(If I could turn back)
And I'm gonna be right there
until you return to me ~
Why hadn't he realized that earlier?
Why hadn't he thought of the possibility that one of them could die during that long time of avoiding each other?
Why, by Elbereth, hadn't he thought of it?
He knew the answer and it was as painful as the question itself: Elves were immortal; they weren't supposed to die. It was nothing to consider.
~ If I could turn back the hands
(If I could turn back) If I could just turn back that little clock on the wall
(If I could turn back) ~
Legolas hadn't realized that it had grown dark half an hour before he looked up to the sky and saw a star.
Fist he thought it was Eärendil, but then he saw that it was not. But still it was nearly as bright and beautiful, it seemed that it was shining down on him to dry his tears and warm his heart again.
A grateful smile came to the prince's lips, but his tears didn't stop falling. "Thank you," he whispered hoarsely and quietly - too low for any ears to hear. Slowly he stood up and looked at the grave once more. "I will keep my promise of being true to you this time, meleth nîn. I love you."
Then he turned around, never to come back again.
But in his heart the memories never faded.
~ Then I'd come to realize how much
I love you, love you, love you,
love you, love you ~
THE END