Why did I stop that? Severus asked himself later, as he was sitting in his
room with the Stehphen King book, which he hadn't even opened. Why did I
stop? Why did I have to say 'wait' like a total idiot? I wanted her more
than anything, and she wanted me too, so why did I say we should wait?
Because he wasn't sure this was the right thing to do, he realized.
I live in this woman's house. I can't go and kiss her like this if I'm not serious about her. She might throw me out of the house, and I have nowhere else to go.
I gotta talk to her.
No, I can't. What am I gonna tell her? Narcissa, I love you? Do I love her, anyway? I've had a crush on her for a long time, and kissing her was remarkably nice, but do I love her?
But then he remembered something he once heard someone saying, though he could remember who it was...
"You never lose when you love. You always lose when you are afraid to feel."
And as Narcissa's beautiful face floated into his mind, Severus realized he had been afraid to feel, afraid to love her - because he was afraid she would never love him back.
But damn it, SHE was the one to kiss ME! He thought in frustration. It means something, doesn't it?... is she the kind of woman to kiss someone whom she doesn't really love?
He didn't know her well enough to answer this...
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Dear Hermione,
I'm writing to you, because it's about girls' stuff. Look, you know Severus Snape has been living with me now, and I know it is going to sound unbelievable - but I think I'm falling in love with him. He's just so different than I could ever imagine, you know? I think you can understand me, because you probably never considered falling in love with Draco, it just happened.
We kissed, today, in the garden. Well, I kissed him, but he kissed me back. And I wish I could tell you how I felt - it was... it was the most amazing thing in the world, you know? When we kissed, I had no doubts... but then he stopped and said this was going to fast and we should wait because it might lead to 'bigger stuff' that we would regret later. Could you believe him?
What do you think I should do? I'm not sure it's only me feeling this, because he keeps looking at me all the time, and he smiles and laughs a lot, and he dresses differently - yeah, I forgot to tell you that we bought new clothes for him - not only black anymore!!! Anyway, the last proof was the kiss. He definitely kissed me back, it wasn't just me kissing him, and he smiled to me after that. So do you think this is IT?
Do you think I should tell him how I feel? Or will I leave it to him to go first, because I was the one to kiss him first?
I'm looking forward to your answer.
Love,
Narcissa
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I love her. I love her. I love her.
I've loved her since I first saw her. I wanted this so much.
But does she love me back?
Was this kiss just a part of the game for her? After all, we were in a playful mood, the two of us, running and chasing each other (okay, I chased her) like little children. Maybe this kiss was just another playful action.
But little children don't kiss! Well, not like this, anyway!
I will just have to wait for new developments... I guess.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Narcissa couldn't wait till she saw Severus again. Will he say anything to her? Or maybe - her hope was sending her right up to cloud nine - maybe, only maybe, he will dare to kiss her. She would not turn him down. No, she would respond, she would welcome him... All he has to do is take the first step. Only once, that is all she needs. If he kisses her once, she wouldn't care to confess her love in front of him. But please, please let him take the first step!
How long was it before she saw him again? Four hours? Not more than five? Narcissa sat in her room, counting down the seconds. Then he would go and eat dinner - he would have to eat dinner sometime, right?
So around 5:00 P.M., Narcissa went to the living room and sat down, waiting for Severus. She took a book, making it look as if she was not waiting for him. It might had even worked. Only Severus didn't show up.
Where is he? Narcissa wondered after two whole hours. She called one of the house-elves and asked him to search for Severus around the Manor. He came back after ten minutes, announcing that Severus was still in his room.
Why won't he come out? Is he afraid to see me?
*
Indeed, Severus was afraid. He still wasn't sure about what he was going to do, and he couldn't see Narcissa before he was sure. What if she kissed him again? He didn't know how to react.
You never lose when you love. You always lose when you are afraid to feel.
Yes, I am afraid to love her.
Because maybe she has a little crush on me. But I don't want a short relationship. I want love. I want true love, and I'm not sure I can get that from her. I don't want my heart broken. No woman has ever loved me back, and I can't take risks here...
But I love her. I love her so much...
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/N: I know this was short, but the next chapter will be longer, I promise! It was necessary for this chapter to be short. Hope you understand. :-) And as always... please review and let me know what you think!
Because he wasn't sure this was the right thing to do, he realized.
I live in this woman's house. I can't go and kiss her like this if I'm not serious about her. She might throw me out of the house, and I have nowhere else to go.
I gotta talk to her.
No, I can't. What am I gonna tell her? Narcissa, I love you? Do I love her, anyway? I've had a crush on her for a long time, and kissing her was remarkably nice, but do I love her?
But then he remembered something he once heard someone saying, though he could remember who it was...
"You never lose when you love. You always lose when you are afraid to feel."
And as Narcissa's beautiful face floated into his mind, Severus realized he had been afraid to feel, afraid to love her - because he was afraid she would never love him back.
But damn it, SHE was the one to kiss ME! He thought in frustration. It means something, doesn't it?... is she the kind of woman to kiss someone whom she doesn't really love?
He didn't know her well enough to answer this...
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Dear Hermione,
I'm writing to you, because it's about girls' stuff. Look, you know Severus Snape has been living with me now, and I know it is going to sound unbelievable - but I think I'm falling in love with him. He's just so different than I could ever imagine, you know? I think you can understand me, because you probably never considered falling in love with Draco, it just happened.
We kissed, today, in the garden. Well, I kissed him, but he kissed me back. And I wish I could tell you how I felt - it was... it was the most amazing thing in the world, you know? When we kissed, I had no doubts... but then he stopped and said this was going to fast and we should wait because it might lead to 'bigger stuff' that we would regret later. Could you believe him?
What do you think I should do? I'm not sure it's only me feeling this, because he keeps looking at me all the time, and he smiles and laughs a lot, and he dresses differently - yeah, I forgot to tell you that we bought new clothes for him - not only black anymore!!! Anyway, the last proof was the kiss. He definitely kissed me back, it wasn't just me kissing him, and he smiled to me after that. So do you think this is IT?
Do you think I should tell him how I feel? Or will I leave it to him to go first, because I was the one to kiss him first?
I'm looking forward to your answer.
Love,
Narcissa
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
I love her. I love her. I love her.
I've loved her since I first saw her. I wanted this so much.
But does she love me back?
Was this kiss just a part of the game for her? After all, we were in a playful mood, the two of us, running and chasing each other (okay, I chased her) like little children. Maybe this kiss was just another playful action.
But little children don't kiss! Well, not like this, anyway!
I will just have to wait for new developments... I guess.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Narcissa couldn't wait till she saw Severus again. Will he say anything to her? Or maybe - her hope was sending her right up to cloud nine - maybe, only maybe, he will dare to kiss her. She would not turn him down. No, she would respond, she would welcome him... All he has to do is take the first step. Only once, that is all she needs. If he kisses her once, she wouldn't care to confess her love in front of him. But please, please let him take the first step!
How long was it before she saw him again? Four hours? Not more than five? Narcissa sat in her room, counting down the seconds. Then he would go and eat dinner - he would have to eat dinner sometime, right?
So around 5:00 P.M., Narcissa went to the living room and sat down, waiting for Severus. She took a book, making it look as if she was not waiting for him. It might had even worked. Only Severus didn't show up.
Where is he? Narcissa wondered after two whole hours. She called one of the house-elves and asked him to search for Severus around the Manor. He came back after ten minutes, announcing that Severus was still in his room.
Why won't he come out? Is he afraid to see me?
*
Indeed, Severus was afraid. He still wasn't sure about what he was going to do, and he couldn't see Narcissa before he was sure. What if she kissed him again? He didn't know how to react.
You never lose when you love. You always lose when you are afraid to feel.
Yes, I am afraid to love her.
Because maybe she has a little crush on me. But I don't want a short relationship. I want love. I want true love, and I'm not sure I can get that from her. I don't want my heart broken. No woman has ever loved me back, and I can't take risks here...
But I love her. I love her so much...
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/N: I know this was short, but the next chapter will be longer, I promise! It was necessary for this chapter to be short. Hope you understand. :-) And as always... please review and let me know what you think!