Author's Note: Don't worry, I'm still working on my current story, "My
Princess", but I just re-read this one and noticed it was never really
finished. So here's the Epilogue.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Hmm," Narcissa murmured as she felt Severus' lips on her neck again. She stretched beneath the sheets and opened her eyes to see him smiling from next to her.
"You're here," she said, almost in wonderment.
"Did you want me to leave after last night?" he laughed.
"No, not at all. I was kind of hoping you'd stay and I could have you to myself a little longer."
"I'm yours," he whispered into her ear.
She turned and smiled at him. He was leaning on one elbow, watching her from above. "No, you are not," she said, letting her fingers trail on his bare chest. "You are not mine. You will soon leave."
Something crossed Severus' face. Was it anger? Disappointment? No - Narcissa could tell - it was a flash of hurt.
"You want me to leave?" he asked in a small voice.
"Of course I don't," she protested, "but the Ministry is going to give you a new house... aren't they? Didn't Dumbledore say he would take care of this?"
"That's right," said Severus, thinking for a moment. "But if you really want me to stay..."
"I do," she said quickly.
"I guess I could ask him not to take care of this. Or they might give me money for damages instead of a house." He kissed her cheek. "Don't worry, I'll write to Dumbledore about this."
For a long moment they didn't say anything; just let themselves feel.
"I guess I'm allowed now into your bedroom and bathroom?" he grinned.
Narcissa laughed. "No, in fact, I think you're not," she replied, "but after last night, you definitely deserve a reward..."
He kissed her again.
"OK, you're allowed in here," she said, rolling her eyes. Severus laughed again.
"You've changed so much," she said, watching him.
"What?"
"You've changed... you're laughing more... you're in good mood about things... and you're dressing differently..."
"It's not like I have other clothes in my wardrobe, do I?" he smiled.
"Yes, but... well... I'm proud to say, I've changed you."
"And only for the best."
"Indeed."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"You know, I actually never told you about myself," said Severus later. He was sitting on the grass and Narcissa was lying, her head on his thigh.
"That's right, you didn't." She raised her eyes and touched his chin. "We've been living together for two weeks now, I've fallen in love with you and slept with you last night and I don't even know anything about you. Isn't it great?"
"Look, I'm not trying to hide anything. I just... I'm just not sure how to tell you this."
"Is it that bad?"
"Parts of it are."
"I'm listening."
Severus' eyes met hers. He didn't see curiousity, but true will to help.
"I guess you've never heard this before," he said slowly, "and I really never thought I'd tell this to anyone. But I feel it now, you're the only one I want to tell." He took a deep breath. "Well, it begins with my parents, I guess. Ever since I remember myself, my parents have been fighting over... over everything. They paycheck, the house, the cleaning, the boy - which refers to me," he smiled bitterly. "I can't remember a single day without hearing them fighting. This was my childhood, you see... my parents screaming at each other, my father slapping my mother, my mother swearing at my father... loads of time I saw them drawing wands out and casting spells at each other."
Narcissa bit her lip. She felt sorry for him, but didn't want him to notice it. Instead she whispered: "I didn't know."
"I know you didn't," Severus replied, "I never told anyone. No one knew, I hope. Only a few years ago, when I was teaching that Potter boy Occlumency, he managed to enter my mind and see some of my memories from the past. But I believe he never told anyone; I really frightened him."
"You don't like Harry, do you?" said Narcissa.
"Never did," said Severus. "Generally, I've disliked Gryffindors since I studied in Hogwarts myself."
"Because of Lily Evans."
"Yes."
Narcissa smiled mischievously. "When did you begin fancying her?"
Severus shrugged. "Well, when I first saw her before the Sorting I really liked her. And then she was sorted into Gryffindor... and I wanted to go there, too. But I was too poisoned with my parents' cruelty, and the Sorting Hat sent me straight to Slytherin."
He took a strap of Narcissa's long, blond hair and let his fingers play with it. "I was never popular amongst students from other houses, especially not the Gryffindors. You know they were friends, those four - Potter, Lupin, Pettigrew and Black - "
"Black?" Narcissa turned her head in surprise. "What Black?"
"Sirius."
"Oh." Narcissa's face twitched. "You hated Sirius."
"Well, yeah, I know he was your cousin, but he was always mean to me - and he was friends with that Potter boy - and he once almost killed me - "
"It's OK," said Narcissa, shaking her head. "Don't feel bad. Sirius was my favorite cousin, but I can understand you."
"So, anyway," Severus went on, "I was friends with all those Slytherins - because I had no choice, no one else would be my friend and I was too proud to beg. So I was friends with all these students who became Death-Eaters later on. Your sister, Bellatrix; her husband Rodolphus; Avery, Rosier, Wilkes. I never liked them that much, you know, I just needed someone to accept me, and they were the only ones. So years later, when they all became Death-Eaters, how could I betray them and say no?"
Severus' voice turned cold and bitter as he buried his hand in Narcissa's soft hair. "Sometimes I still feel hunted by it. I remember those days - it was a nightmare. I hated Voldemort, I hated what he was doing, but I was too coward to refuse. But then, my parents died. My father finally murdered her, as he had promised to do so many times before - " he ignored Narcissa's stunned expression - "and then committed suicide. I realized that if I didn't do something as soon as possible, I would end up miserably dead like them, because Voldemort had never treated his followers very kindly. I knew: one little mistake, and I'd be dead meat. But I couldn't go on and live like this. So I went to Dumbledore, and he told me there was a way to be on the other side and not be killed - serving as a spy."
"A spy?"
"Yes. I took the risk and spied after Voldemort. I had nothing to lose, after all. But luckily for me, I survived the war and lived through it."
"And luckily for me, too," Narcissa murmured, letting her hand trail his chest again, up to his neck and his cheeks.
Severus lowered his face to hers and kissed her again. Narcissa closed her eyes. After a few minutes, she pulled back.
"What?" he asked.
"I'm proud that you told me this," she said truthfully.
"You are?" he smiled.
"Yes." Then she changed the subject. "I'm getting hungry. Let's go and have some dinner."
"Together?"
"Of course."
"Does this mean I'm allowed to eat with you from now on?"
"Don't be an idiot!" They both got to their feet and she punched him playfully. "Of course we'll eat together from now on."
"This is one thing that makes me proud," he smiled and took her hand. As they began walking slowly towards the house, hand in hand, the sun set down in the horizon, lighting up the garden in its deep, red light, making the beautiful flowers seem as if going on fire - the fire of love, passion and deep affection, which Narcissa and Severus both felt in their heart.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/N: Now it really ends! Hope you liked this story! And again, don't worry, I'm continuing the current story, I haven't given up on it. So... review!
Bye for now
Roni.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"Hmm," Narcissa murmured as she felt Severus' lips on her neck again. She stretched beneath the sheets and opened her eyes to see him smiling from next to her.
"You're here," she said, almost in wonderment.
"Did you want me to leave after last night?" he laughed.
"No, not at all. I was kind of hoping you'd stay and I could have you to myself a little longer."
"I'm yours," he whispered into her ear.
She turned and smiled at him. He was leaning on one elbow, watching her from above. "No, you are not," she said, letting her fingers trail on his bare chest. "You are not mine. You will soon leave."
Something crossed Severus' face. Was it anger? Disappointment? No - Narcissa could tell - it was a flash of hurt.
"You want me to leave?" he asked in a small voice.
"Of course I don't," she protested, "but the Ministry is going to give you a new house... aren't they? Didn't Dumbledore say he would take care of this?"
"That's right," said Severus, thinking for a moment. "But if you really want me to stay..."
"I do," she said quickly.
"I guess I could ask him not to take care of this. Or they might give me money for damages instead of a house." He kissed her cheek. "Don't worry, I'll write to Dumbledore about this."
For a long moment they didn't say anything; just let themselves feel.
"I guess I'm allowed now into your bedroom and bathroom?" he grinned.
Narcissa laughed. "No, in fact, I think you're not," she replied, "but after last night, you definitely deserve a reward..."
He kissed her again.
"OK, you're allowed in here," she said, rolling her eyes. Severus laughed again.
"You've changed so much," she said, watching him.
"What?"
"You've changed... you're laughing more... you're in good mood about things... and you're dressing differently..."
"It's not like I have other clothes in my wardrobe, do I?" he smiled.
"Yes, but... well... I'm proud to say, I've changed you."
"And only for the best."
"Indeed."
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
"You know, I actually never told you about myself," said Severus later. He was sitting on the grass and Narcissa was lying, her head on his thigh.
"That's right, you didn't." She raised her eyes and touched his chin. "We've been living together for two weeks now, I've fallen in love with you and slept with you last night and I don't even know anything about you. Isn't it great?"
"Look, I'm not trying to hide anything. I just... I'm just not sure how to tell you this."
"Is it that bad?"
"Parts of it are."
"I'm listening."
Severus' eyes met hers. He didn't see curiousity, but true will to help.
"I guess you've never heard this before," he said slowly, "and I really never thought I'd tell this to anyone. But I feel it now, you're the only one I want to tell." He took a deep breath. "Well, it begins with my parents, I guess. Ever since I remember myself, my parents have been fighting over... over everything. They paycheck, the house, the cleaning, the boy - which refers to me," he smiled bitterly. "I can't remember a single day without hearing them fighting. This was my childhood, you see... my parents screaming at each other, my father slapping my mother, my mother swearing at my father... loads of time I saw them drawing wands out and casting spells at each other."
Narcissa bit her lip. She felt sorry for him, but didn't want him to notice it. Instead she whispered: "I didn't know."
"I know you didn't," Severus replied, "I never told anyone. No one knew, I hope. Only a few years ago, when I was teaching that Potter boy Occlumency, he managed to enter my mind and see some of my memories from the past. But I believe he never told anyone; I really frightened him."
"You don't like Harry, do you?" said Narcissa.
"Never did," said Severus. "Generally, I've disliked Gryffindors since I studied in Hogwarts myself."
"Because of Lily Evans."
"Yes."
Narcissa smiled mischievously. "When did you begin fancying her?"
Severus shrugged. "Well, when I first saw her before the Sorting I really liked her. And then she was sorted into Gryffindor... and I wanted to go there, too. But I was too poisoned with my parents' cruelty, and the Sorting Hat sent me straight to Slytherin."
He took a strap of Narcissa's long, blond hair and let his fingers play with it. "I was never popular amongst students from other houses, especially not the Gryffindors. You know they were friends, those four - Potter, Lupin, Pettigrew and Black - "
"Black?" Narcissa turned her head in surprise. "What Black?"
"Sirius."
"Oh." Narcissa's face twitched. "You hated Sirius."
"Well, yeah, I know he was your cousin, but he was always mean to me - and he was friends with that Potter boy - and he once almost killed me - "
"It's OK," said Narcissa, shaking her head. "Don't feel bad. Sirius was my favorite cousin, but I can understand you."
"So, anyway," Severus went on, "I was friends with all those Slytherins - because I had no choice, no one else would be my friend and I was too proud to beg. So I was friends with all these students who became Death-Eaters later on. Your sister, Bellatrix; her husband Rodolphus; Avery, Rosier, Wilkes. I never liked them that much, you know, I just needed someone to accept me, and they were the only ones. So years later, when they all became Death-Eaters, how could I betray them and say no?"
Severus' voice turned cold and bitter as he buried his hand in Narcissa's soft hair. "Sometimes I still feel hunted by it. I remember those days - it was a nightmare. I hated Voldemort, I hated what he was doing, but I was too coward to refuse. But then, my parents died. My father finally murdered her, as he had promised to do so many times before - " he ignored Narcissa's stunned expression - "and then committed suicide. I realized that if I didn't do something as soon as possible, I would end up miserably dead like them, because Voldemort had never treated his followers very kindly. I knew: one little mistake, and I'd be dead meat. But I couldn't go on and live like this. So I went to Dumbledore, and he told me there was a way to be on the other side and not be killed - serving as a spy."
"A spy?"
"Yes. I took the risk and spied after Voldemort. I had nothing to lose, after all. But luckily for me, I survived the war and lived through it."
"And luckily for me, too," Narcissa murmured, letting her hand trail his chest again, up to his neck and his cheeks.
Severus lowered his face to hers and kissed her again. Narcissa closed her eyes. After a few minutes, she pulled back.
"What?" he asked.
"I'm proud that you told me this," she said truthfully.
"You are?" he smiled.
"Yes." Then she changed the subject. "I'm getting hungry. Let's go and have some dinner."
"Together?"
"Of course."
"Does this mean I'm allowed to eat with you from now on?"
"Don't be an idiot!" They both got to their feet and she punched him playfully. "Of course we'll eat together from now on."
"This is one thing that makes me proud," he smiled and took her hand. As they began walking slowly towards the house, hand in hand, the sun set down in the horizon, lighting up the garden in its deep, red light, making the beautiful flowers seem as if going on fire - the fire of love, passion and deep affection, which Narcissa and Severus both felt in their heart.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
A/N: Now it really ends! Hope you liked this story! And again, don't worry, I'm continuing the current story, I haven't given up on it. So... review!
Bye for now
Roni.