The next day passed in much the same way as the previous night. Julianne
sailed straight through the day, never once leaving to helm even to eat.
So spoke hardly a word to anyone on her ship, except for Dipst whose chief
task throughout the day was to make sure she was never without any rum. By
the time night rolled around, Julianne was bloody drunk. At the urging of
Will and Elizabeth, Dipst had begun to dilute her drinks a little bit, and
continuously check that they were still on the right course, which
surprisingly they were. By 9:00, she had had enough sailing for the day
and slowed her ship to stop for the night. Just as before, the Pearl
pulled up along side of it and anchored as well. From his own deck, Jack
looked across hoping to get her attention, but Juli did not even glance in
his direction.
Simple minded men that they were, both crews had already put out of the minds the events of Isla de Muerta, and had returned to the evening festivities of the beginning of the trip. All drunk off of the large quantities of alcohol they took from Isla de Muerta, the first mates of both ships were forced to keep a watchful eye on their crews to keep them from getting out of hand. Will and Elizabeth did not join in so often as before, but spent a lot of time in their cabin doing things that no one was inclined to ask about. Just as on the previous night, Julianne did not stay outside for the evening but retreated to her cabin. All day she sailed, at night she cried. And with the addition of alcohol on this particular night, she was angry and destructive. Not long after she had gone below another soft knock came on the door.
"Juli", a young man's voice called in to her.
"That you Will?"
"Yes, it's me", he answered stepping inside.
Wiping her eyes, Julianne stepped from the bedroom out into the front part of the cabin where Will stood.
"Well?"
"You're bleeding you know."
"I know. What do you want?"
"Jack would like to see you."
"Well I don't want to see him."
"He's right outside."
"That's nice, he's not coming in."
"Juli, you really ought to."
"I really ought to do nothin! God, 'ow could you even defend him, weren't you there? Didn't you see what he did?"
"Yes, but."
"But nothin. When and IF I even decide to talk to him at all, it'll be when I'm good and ready. Until then, you may tell Captain Sparrow to GET THE FUCK OFF OF MY SHIP!" she finished yelling the last part loudly at the door.
"Alright, I'll tell him not tonight."
Without answering, Juli returned back to the bedroom, threw herself onto her bed, and passed out until the next morning. Outside, Jack walked back to his own ship head down.
The episode on Isla de Muerta seemed to set the tone for the days that followed. Juli's actions remained the same as they had the day before when she woke up the next morning, sailed all day, and retreated to her cabin at night. Being the third day since they left, Jack decided he could no longer stand the situation, and that night when he went to talk to Julianne he wasn't taking no for an answer. He knocked once on her door, and when no answer came he let himself in quietly. Walking through the cabin, he found Julianne lying in bed with the covers pulled over her head crying softly to herself. Checking that her weapons were out of reach, he carefully sat down on the bed beside her. The covers came down roughly, just enough for her to see who it was.
"Get the fuck out", she demanded angrily.
"Jules, I.", he began, but seeing the bruise on her face his words caught in his throat.
"Oh you like that? It's a real nice one isn't it?" she asked propping herself up when she noticed what he was looking at. "'Ope you're proud of yerself. Who do you think you are anyway? You can't just waltz in 'ere whenever the fuck you feel like. Didn't you get the subtle hints that I don't want to see you, not now, NOT EVER. Now get out."
"I'm not leaving until you talk to me."
"Fine", she spat standing up, "then I'm leaving."
"Jules", he said grabbing her hand.
"DON'T TOUCH ME!" she screamed tearing herself from his grip. "DON'T YOU FUCKIN TOUCH ME EVER AGAIN!"
Jack looked at her unsure of what to say.
"I don't know why your so surprised anyway Jack. This is what you wanted isn't it? Your freedom? To do whatever and whoever you want, whenever you want, without me in the way. Well now you 'ave it. YOU'RE FREE JACK! You ought to be out there enjoying it. Why right now you could be well on you're way to anywhere you like. Seeing anything you want to see, fuckin anyone you want to fuck. Hell, you wouldn't even need to leave the ship for that. You've got Ana, and there's always Dori and Jezzie. Or, since maybe you don't like pirate women there's Elizabeth. You don't seem to 'ave a problem stabbing your friends in the back these days so I'm sure getting Will out o the way would be easy for you. Otherwise I guess you could just 'ead back to Tortuga, 'ead back to Scarlett, and Giselle, and Angelica, and Veronica, and all the rest of them."
"You know that's not what I want", he said quietly.
"NO, I don't know that. In fact, I don't know you at all."
"Jules please, you've got to listen to me."
"Why? What are you going to say that I aven't heard already Jack?"
He did not answer.
"Exactly, cause I've 'eard it all. Every excuse, every apology, and every sappy bullshit story of yours I've already heard. You know what I've been thinking about down 'ere these past few days? I've been thinking about all the times I should 'ave just left you, left for you good and not taken you back. Do you know 'ow many times that comes out to? More than you're worth that's for sure." Julianne paused here as tears began spilling down her face while she put on her jacket and shoes. "You should 'ave just shot me you know. Would 'ave hurt a lot less than this", she finished putting her hat on and turning to leave. Still sitting on the bed, Jack was at a total loss. Not wanting her to walk out of the cabin, he got up and ran after her. Grabbing her and turning her around, he gave her the most passionate kiss of his entire life. His efforts were returned by a sharp punch to the stomach. Pulling away he saw that Julianne was now crying hysterically, and the tears that fell over her right cheek, fell to the ground red.
"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?" she yelled though sobs. "WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM? Some thing, some creature devoid of emotions? I am not some common whore Jack, that you can sleep with and then forget about. Who sees you only as a customer and then moves on to the next person. 15 years Jack, 15 years of my life I spend with you and you think all this is is some kinda fuck buddy thing?"
"No! That's not what I think Jules."
"Then what? What do you think?"
He took a minute to get the words just right to avoid making her even more upset. "I think that you love me, and that I've wounded you very badly."
Julianne looked up at him for a minute, her facing clearing suddenly. "I DID love you" she said with eerie coolness. "But not anymore", and with that she walked out of the cabin leaving Jack alone with nothing but his guilt and shame. *But I still love you*, he thought to himself before walking back to his own ship.
The two ships sailed on, for three more days Juli continued to ignore Jack. Now, only two days from Santa Croix a new problem began to plague her. Obviously, she no longer had any intentions of maintaining her accord with Jack to sail together as a fleet. As far as she was concerned their two ships could head their own different directions right then and there and never come across one another again. That evening, when the two ships stopped for the night, Julianne pulled Dipst aside before turning in.
"I want to speak to Ana", she said. Dipst nodded without a word and obeyed his captain. Jumping from one ship to the other, the first person he ran into on the Pearl was of course Jack, who was hoping the first mate carried some message for him.
"Evenin Cap'n", Dipst greeted him while walking past.
"What's going on Dipst?" Jack asked.
"Cap'n Amaris has asked for Ana."
"Oh. I see. Well, she's up on the deck", he replied motioning to where Anamaria stood.
"Thank ye Cap'n."
Ten minutes later Anamaria entered Julianne's cabin to find her sitting at her desk, still fully dressed in her captain's attire, feet propped up.
"What's up Jules?" she greeted her friend.
"I need you to deliver a message for me sailor", Julianne responded, throwing Ana off a bit.
"Alright, what about?"
"A couple weeks ago, your captain and myself came to an agreement that our two ships would sail together as a fleet."
Anamaria nodded, but was beginning to worry over the way Juli was addressing the conversation.
"When you return to your ship tonight, I would like you to please inform Captain Sparrow that our accord is off, and when we set sail tomorrow morning the Renegade will be heading for Santa Croix, and I expect that the Black Pearl will not be joining us. That's all."
"You can't be serious."
"I am very serious", she replied.
"Juli come on now, don't you think you're takin this a bit too far?"
"First of all, it's Captain J. And second of all, no I don't think so."
"ARRR!" Ana yelled jumping from her chair and slamming both fists down on the desk. "Captain or not you're acting like an idiot. 'Ow can you even sit 'ere and talk to me like I'm just another crewmen. I'm your fuckin best friend Juli, I've known you longer than anyone, you're practically family to me. Can't you just forget about all this stupid pretext and just talk to me?"
Julianne looked at the other woman who was leaning rather close to her, than pulled down her feet and took off her hat implying that she would comply.
"That's better", Ana said sitting back down. "Now seriously Jules, this really can't be what you want."
"Oh Ana" she sighed finally. "I don't know what I want anymore. It was like everything was finally coming together and then suddenly it all came to a crashing halt."
"You talked to him the other night?"
"Well, I wouldn't necessarily call it talking. Mostly me screamin at him's more like it. He say anything about it?"
"No, came back all sullen like and I knew better than to ask. What did you say?"
"I don't even remember. Yelled at him about how he'd gotten what he said he wanted so didn't make much sense for him to be angry. And how I wasn't just another one of his whores to fuck around with then treat like shit."
"And he said?"
"Oh, same old shit. You know, that that wasn't what he thought of me and so on."
"And d'ye believe him?"
Juli shrugged. "If it is true, he sure doesn't act like it. His whole take on the thing was that he knew I loved him and that he hurt me pretty bad."
"Well that's something."
"Yeah well, after that I told him I did love him once, but he blew that."
"Juli!"
"I know, it was terrible."
"You're no better than 'im ye know."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"You sulk about wanting him to show that he feels about you the way you feel about him, but when it comes down to it, you don't really show him either."
Julianne jerked her head a bit, making it apparent that she did not at all agree with Ana's assessment of the situation.
"Fine, then let me ask you", Ana continued. "Have you ever actually told Jack that you love him."
"Of course I haven't."
"And why not?"
"I dunno, just not something you say."
"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Of course that's something you tell someone when it's true. No, the reason you've never told him is because for one you think it goes against everything the pirate way of life means, and for two because you're afraid he doesn't feel the same way."
"Well 'ow can I with the way he carries on?"
"Are you sayin you don't do the same?"
"No, of course I do, but it's different."
"How?"
"Well because, it just is. Look, sure I've done my fair share of messing around on him in the past, but not to nearly the extent and to be honest, not for a long time."
"And do you actually 'ave any idea when he was last with someone else?"
"No."
"You might be surprised at the answer."
Juli, whose chin was resting on her hands, raised her gaze to Anamaria's.
"Really?"
"Yes really. Ever since that time a couple years ago, when you railed him for all those hookers who came up to him and knew who he was. Remember, when we were all in San Domingo for that big merchant heist?"
"'Ow do you know?"
"I do sail with him after all."
"I guess. Either way, not like that excuses him for what he did."
"No of course not, but is it really worth giving him up for good?"
"Bloody hell Ana, did ye miss the part where he tried to kill me?"
"All I'm saying is, this isn't the first time the two've ye 'ave found yerselves at a fork in the road per se. You've obviously kept 'im around this long for a reason so don't go makin a snap decision when yer mind's clouded with anger. You just might regret it."
"Alright, alright, I get you. I'll think about it. In the meantime, hold off on that message will ye?"
"And when he asks what you wanted to see me about?"
"Oh, just tell 'im we were planning our next attempt to maroon 'im somewhere and take over", she laughed.
"Och", Ana laughed, "you are as bad 'im", she added getting up.
Stepping outside and shutting the door behind her, Anamaria was surprised to find Elizabeth waiting for her.
"Ana?"
"What's on yer mind lass", she asked the young woman.
"Will they make up?"
"Who?"
"Jack and Julianne."
"Oh", she replied, stopping to think it over for a minute. "Aye, they'll make up."
"How do you know?"
"Always 'ave before."
"You don't seem too convinced yourself."
"They will make up Ms. Turner, and you worryin bout it isn't goin to help any so don't waste yer time. It's a very dangerous thing they've got goin on there, mixin love and business. I don't recommend it."
Elizabeth nodded. "Well goodnight then."
"Night lass", Ana answered as she walked away.
Simple minded men that they were, both crews had already put out of the minds the events of Isla de Muerta, and had returned to the evening festivities of the beginning of the trip. All drunk off of the large quantities of alcohol they took from Isla de Muerta, the first mates of both ships were forced to keep a watchful eye on their crews to keep them from getting out of hand. Will and Elizabeth did not join in so often as before, but spent a lot of time in their cabin doing things that no one was inclined to ask about. Just as on the previous night, Julianne did not stay outside for the evening but retreated to her cabin. All day she sailed, at night she cried. And with the addition of alcohol on this particular night, she was angry and destructive. Not long after she had gone below another soft knock came on the door.
"Juli", a young man's voice called in to her.
"That you Will?"
"Yes, it's me", he answered stepping inside.
Wiping her eyes, Julianne stepped from the bedroom out into the front part of the cabin where Will stood.
"Well?"
"You're bleeding you know."
"I know. What do you want?"
"Jack would like to see you."
"Well I don't want to see him."
"He's right outside."
"That's nice, he's not coming in."
"Juli, you really ought to."
"I really ought to do nothin! God, 'ow could you even defend him, weren't you there? Didn't you see what he did?"
"Yes, but."
"But nothin. When and IF I even decide to talk to him at all, it'll be when I'm good and ready. Until then, you may tell Captain Sparrow to GET THE FUCK OFF OF MY SHIP!" she finished yelling the last part loudly at the door.
"Alright, I'll tell him not tonight."
Without answering, Juli returned back to the bedroom, threw herself onto her bed, and passed out until the next morning. Outside, Jack walked back to his own ship head down.
The episode on Isla de Muerta seemed to set the tone for the days that followed. Juli's actions remained the same as they had the day before when she woke up the next morning, sailed all day, and retreated to her cabin at night. Being the third day since they left, Jack decided he could no longer stand the situation, and that night when he went to talk to Julianne he wasn't taking no for an answer. He knocked once on her door, and when no answer came he let himself in quietly. Walking through the cabin, he found Julianne lying in bed with the covers pulled over her head crying softly to herself. Checking that her weapons were out of reach, he carefully sat down on the bed beside her. The covers came down roughly, just enough for her to see who it was.
"Get the fuck out", she demanded angrily.
"Jules, I.", he began, but seeing the bruise on her face his words caught in his throat.
"Oh you like that? It's a real nice one isn't it?" she asked propping herself up when she noticed what he was looking at. "'Ope you're proud of yerself. Who do you think you are anyway? You can't just waltz in 'ere whenever the fuck you feel like. Didn't you get the subtle hints that I don't want to see you, not now, NOT EVER. Now get out."
"I'm not leaving until you talk to me."
"Fine", she spat standing up, "then I'm leaving."
"Jules", he said grabbing her hand.
"DON'T TOUCH ME!" she screamed tearing herself from his grip. "DON'T YOU FUCKIN TOUCH ME EVER AGAIN!"
Jack looked at her unsure of what to say.
"I don't know why your so surprised anyway Jack. This is what you wanted isn't it? Your freedom? To do whatever and whoever you want, whenever you want, without me in the way. Well now you 'ave it. YOU'RE FREE JACK! You ought to be out there enjoying it. Why right now you could be well on you're way to anywhere you like. Seeing anything you want to see, fuckin anyone you want to fuck. Hell, you wouldn't even need to leave the ship for that. You've got Ana, and there's always Dori and Jezzie. Or, since maybe you don't like pirate women there's Elizabeth. You don't seem to 'ave a problem stabbing your friends in the back these days so I'm sure getting Will out o the way would be easy for you. Otherwise I guess you could just 'ead back to Tortuga, 'ead back to Scarlett, and Giselle, and Angelica, and Veronica, and all the rest of them."
"You know that's not what I want", he said quietly.
"NO, I don't know that. In fact, I don't know you at all."
"Jules please, you've got to listen to me."
"Why? What are you going to say that I aven't heard already Jack?"
He did not answer.
"Exactly, cause I've 'eard it all. Every excuse, every apology, and every sappy bullshit story of yours I've already heard. You know what I've been thinking about down 'ere these past few days? I've been thinking about all the times I should 'ave just left you, left for you good and not taken you back. Do you know 'ow many times that comes out to? More than you're worth that's for sure." Julianne paused here as tears began spilling down her face while she put on her jacket and shoes. "You should 'ave just shot me you know. Would 'ave hurt a lot less than this", she finished putting her hat on and turning to leave. Still sitting on the bed, Jack was at a total loss. Not wanting her to walk out of the cabin, he got up and ran after her. Grabbing her and turning her around, he gave her the most passionate kiss of his entire life. His efforts were returned by a sharp punch to the stomach. Pulling away he saw that Julianne was now crying hysterically, and the tears that fell over her right cheek, fell to the ground red.
"WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?" she yelled though sobs. "WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM? Some thing, some creature devoid of emotions? I am not some common whore Jack, that you can sleep with and then forget about. Who sees you only as a customer and then moves on to the next person. 15 years Jack, 15 years of my life I spend with you and you think all this is is some kinda fuck buddy thing?"
"No! That's not what I think Jules."
"Then what? What do you think?"
He took a minute to get the words just right to avoid making her even more upset. "I think that you love me, and that I've wounded you very badly."
Julianne looked up at him for a minute, her facing clearing suddenly. "I DID love you" she said with eerie coolness. "But not anymore", and with that she walked out of the cabin leaving Jack alone with nothing but his guilt and shame. *But I still love you*, he thought to himself before walking back to his own ship.
The two ships sailed on, for three more days Juli continued to ignore Jack. Now, only two days from Santa Croix a new problem began to plague her. Obviously, she no longer had any intentions of maintaining her accord with Jack to sail together as a fleet. As far as she was concerned their two ships could head their own different directions right then and there and never come across one another again. That evening, when the two ships stopped for the night, Julianne pulled Dipst aside before turning in.
"I want to speak to Ana", she said. Dipst nodded without a word and obeyed his captain. Jumping from one ship to the other, the first person he ran into on the Pearl was of course Jack, who was hoping the first mate carried some message for him.
"Evenin Cap'n", Dipst greeted him while walking past.
"What's going on Dipst?" Jack asked.
"Cap'n Amaris has asked for Ana."
"Oh. I see. Well, she's up on the deck", he replied motioning to where Anamaria stood.
"Thank ye Cap'n."
Ten minutes later Anamaria entered Julianne's cabin to find her sitting at her desk, still fully dressed in her captain's attire, feet propped up.
"What's up Jules?" she greeted her friend.
"I need you to deliver a message for me sailor", Julianne responded, throwing Ana off a bit.
"Alright, what about?"
"A couple weeks ago, your captain and myself came to an agreement that our two ships would sail together as a fleet."
Anamaria nodded, but was beginning to worry over the way Juli was addressing the conversation.
"When you return to your ship tonight, I would like you to please inform Captain Sparrow that our accord is off, and when we set sail tomorrow morning the Renegade will be heading for Santa Croix, and I expect that the Black Pearl will not be joining us. That's all."
"You can't be serious."
"I am very serious", she replied.
"Juli come on now, don't you think you're takin this a bit too far?"
"First of all, it's Captain J. And second of all, no I don't think so."
"ARRR!" Ana yelled jumping from her chair and slamming both fists down on the desk. "Captain or not you're acting like an idiot. 'Ow can you even sit 'ere and talk to me like I'm just another crewmen. I'm your fuckin best friend Juli, I've known you longer than anyone, you're practically family to me. Can't you just forget about all this stupid pretext and just talk to me?"
Julianne looked at the other woman who was leaning rather close to her, than pulled down her feet and took off her hat implying that she would comply.
"That's better", Ana said sitting back down. "Now seriously Jules, this really can't be what you want."
"Oh Ana" she sighed finally. "I don't know what I want anymore. It was like everything was finally coming together and then suddenly it all came to a crashing halt."
"You talked to him the other night?"
"Well, I wouldn't necessarily call it talking. Mostly me screamin at him's more like it. He say anything about it?"
"No, came back all sullen like and I knew better than to ask. What did you say?"
"I don't even remember. Yelled at him about how he'd gotten what he said he wanted so didn't make much sense for him to be angry. And how I wasn't just another one of his whores to fuck around with then treat like shit."
"And he said?"
"Oh, same old shit. You know, that that wasn't what he thought of me and so on."
"And d'ye believe him?"
Juli shrugged. "If it is true, he sure doesn't act like it. His whole take on the thing was that he knew I loved him and that he hurt me pretty bad."
"Well that's something."
"Yeah well, after that I told him I did love him once, but he blew that."
"Juli!"
"I know, it was terrible."
"You're no better than 'im ye know."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"You sulk about wanting him to show that he feels about you the way you feel about him, but when it comes down to it, you don't really show him either."
Julianne jerked her head a bit, making it apparent that she did not at all agree with Ana's assessment of the situation.
"Fine, then let me ask you", Ana continued. "Have you ever actually told Jack that you love him."
"Of course I haven't."
"And why not?"
"I dunno, just not something you say."
"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. Of course that's something you tell someone when it's true. No, the reason you've never told him is because for one you think it goes against everything the pirate way of life means, and for two because you're afraid he doesn't feel the same way."
"Well 'ow can I with the way he carries on?"
"Are you sayin you don't do the same?"
"No, of course I do, but it's different."
"How?"
"Well because, it just is. Look, sure I've done my fair share of messing around on him in the past, but not to nearly the extent and to be honest, not for a long time."
"And do you actually 'ave any idea when he was last with someone else?"
"No."
"You might be surprised at the answer."
Juli, whose chin was resting on her hands, raised her gaze to Anamaria's.
"Really?"
"Yes really. Ever since that time a couple years ago, when you railed him for all those hookers who came up to him and knew who he was. Remember, when we were all in San Domingo for that big merchant heist?"
"'Ow do you know?"
"I do sail with him after all."
"I guess. Either way, not like that excuses him for what he did."
"No of course not, but is it really worth giving him up for good?"
"Bloody hell Ana, did ye miss the part where he tried to kill me?"
"All I'm saying is, this isn't the first time the two've ye 'ave found yerselves at a fork in the road per se. You've obviously kept 'im around this long for a reason so don't go makin a snap decision when yer mind's clouded with anger. You just might regret it."
"Alright, alright, I get you. I'll think about it. In the meantime, hold off on that message will ye?"
"And when he asks what you wanted to see me about?"
"Oh, just tell 'im we were planning our next attempt to maroon 'im somewhere and take over", she laughed.
"Och", Ana laughed, "you are as bad 'im", she added getting up.
Stepping outside and shutting the door behind her, Anamaria was surprised to find Elizabeth waiting for her.
"Ana?"
"What's on yer mind lass", she asked the young woman.
"Will they make up?"
"Who?"
"Jack and Julianne."
"Oh", she replied, stopping to think it over for a minute. "Aye, they'll make up."
"How do you know?"
"Always 'ave before."
"You don't seem too convinced yourself."
"They will make up Ms. Turner, and you worryin bout it isn't goin to help any so don't waste yer time. It's a very dangerous thing they've got goin on there, mixin love and business. I don't recommend it."
Elizabeth nodded. "Well goodnight then."
"Night lass", Ana answered as she walked away.