Chapter 57
Alucard's red eyes focused on Integra as he spoke.
"We trained in the outskirts of the forest near a desolate street, trying to focus on her vampiric abilities...however, we were ambushed by Paladin and his amateur son."
Noticing the glint in her eyes, he continued.
"Walter made a quite unexpected appearance as well; he can still put up a good fight." Though, he did not reveal whom it was that he fought against. Integral eyed him skeptically as she was prone to doing often.
She walked up to him, and instead of slapping him on the face like she was known for doing well in the past; she placed the hand on the side of his face. Alucard looked on albeit shocked, but she only half-smiled.
"You look more troubled than you know, Alucard. Get some rest, I will reprimand you tomorrow; I can still smell what you two have done, and noting the alcohol, it is understandable." She glinted evilly even for herself, but Alucard was too disheartened to even notice it; he simply stared in awe.
"Thank you, master. I will leave now, unless you require anything else." He was hoping that she would decline. Integra removed the hand and said but one thing.
"Tomorrow." And she turned, her hair whipping around half over her shoulder as she went. "Early tomorrow, before dong anything for the night."
With that, Alucard bowed at her retreating back and disappeared into the air, immediately reappearing to his room where Seras lay, he found himself sitting on the floor, leaning his face on the edge of the bed and his right hand resting comfortably around her own limp one.
Too tired to continue, he fell asleep.
The next evening, Seras opened her eyes; they seemed like they weighted more than two 50-pound bags of sand each. She opened them slowly and looked around; she was unsure of her surroundings and moved her left arm, which was closest to the wall, and she winced greatly in pain. She put it back down, noticing the bags of blood surrounding her, going into her body.
It was then did she remember the fight she had with the priest's son, and then searing pain, and blacking out. And here she was.
She moved her head painfully to the side and saw her master passed out asleep, holding onto her hand as if to keep her there in case she went away.
Alucard slept deeply, but still somewhat aware of the situation; even asleep, he felt her eyes travel on him. He thought to himself, was it morning already? And he started to open his eyes lightly.
His leaning position didn't help either, but he did not care at the moment; looking up wearily, his eyes practically bloodshot, but they were red already to begin with. This made him look slightly odd.
He saw that Seras was in fact looking down at him, her eyes constricted a little to slits; his face gained a small half-smile when he saw that she was awake.
"H-how do you feel, Seras?" Seras blinked slowly again and shakily found her voice; it sounded strange to her.
"Better than before, master...but tired still," She hated to admit to still being weak, but it was the truth. Even if she was a vampire, she was new to it; she was still learning, and she couldn't exactly regenerate like her master could.
She couldn't move her arms, hand, or her body for that matter; she could not comfort him but only with her words.
"Master, it is all right...don't beat yourself up over it, don't worry about it." She paused, letting her mind think for a minute. "Did you see Integra last night? I hope she wasn't too hard..." She winced, remembering the hard way that she couldn't move her arms.
Alucard looked up at her, moving his eyes only; his eyes still held sadness, the sorrow running through the lining of his face as he stood up and sat on the edge of the bed; trying not to disturb Seras' recovery as she couldn't move. He was sitting in a way with his head turned to her to see her figure, as if to make sure she was still there.
"It is still my fault that this happened, Seras...If I wasn't so cocky in my dog form, I would have noticed them much sooner." He stared at her, his eyes still as if they were going to break down at any moment. "My master...she was odd, no yelling, screaming...just an order to report to her early today; she has already figured that I had gotten a little drunk, but not you yet, so you're safe for now." His words barely sounded like his own.
Seras stared at him.
"Doesn't make a difference who's fault it is, master; I chose to fight him for myself, and with no weapons of my own." He looked up at her like this, when she spoke so plainly. She was learning, but that in itself made him sad, as well.
"You should probably not go without it, things have been too insane lately."
She would have nodded, but she couldn't; she just made a thoughtful noise in her throat. Alucard looked at her understandingly; the attempt made him try a grin for himself, which did not suit his overpowering state of mind. He was even hesitant to hug her...to comfort her, at this point; she would still be in too much pain.
"No matter what I can say, nothing can make up for this; there was no reason for my blind rage to let you go to the verge of death, for real..." Seras was getting impatient.
"Master, don't beat yourself up over what's past...I'm here but still a little tired, but here anyway!" She paused. "Integra might be waiting for you, master."
His stomach turned over as he thought of his master, and what happened the previous dawn; he tried to shake himself out of it, but that still did not work too well. He stood up lazily, looking over at Seras.
"If I had the choice, I would rather be here than there...and I do not think anything that my master could say would help at this point, but I must go to her all the same."
Seras stared at him sadly. "I know what you mean, master..." She recalled her last encounter with Integra and blinked downward.
"I should be back, the sooner the better; I'll see if I can get Walter down here to watch you, you may need replacement blood bags while I'm gone..." He still waited around, as if debating whether or not it was a good time to go now. She sighed, or she thought she did, and closed her eyes to rest.
"Master, I'm okay...I'll just sleep the entire time."
He looked at her appreciatively; though, it still bothered him. He picked up her hand and kissed it chivalrously, holding it as if to cherish; soon enough he put it back down.
"Sleep is a good idea for you at the moment." His words hung in the air as he disappeared to Integra's office.
Integra was seen sitting in her chair, leaning on the back of her chair for once, talking with Walter quietly. Most likely, it was about the previous night.
A cigar plucked between her two forefingers on her right hand, her head was turned to Walter slightly, talking calmly as he stood to the side of her desk. One could tell Integra thought highly of him.
"So that is what happened," She said with a strangely amused smile on her face. "You are dismissed, Walter."
Walter turned to walk; heading towards the door Alucard just melted through, and saw the vampire. He turned his head lightly as if reading his mind, knowing on reflex what Alucard's favor was for him. He left without an uttered word.
"Still depressed, I see. You have no reason to be that way, as Walter just explained the details of what has happened. Except for one thing: the reason why you went so insane?" She stared at him expectedly; the only thing moving was the thin trail of smoke emitted from the tip of her lit cigar.
Alucard looked down at the desk, staring at the wood grain and trying not to look back up; knowing in the back of his head that this particular gesture was rude, he had to look up.
"It was a semi-black state, master; if I would have gone completely black, I would not be standing here right now." He paused. "It was because I knew Seras was dying, for real this time, but I could not do anything as I was pinned with knives to a tree; the only way out was to rematerialize.
But my rage of my own foolishness made me go black; it was not a pretty sight." He added the last part with pure sarcasm, practically spitting out the word 'pretty.'
Integra brought the cigar to her mouth, taking a few seconds before blowing out the smoke from the corner of her lips and lowering it from her mouth again. Her cold eyes seemed to show something else as well.
"No, I do not think it would be good; that is twice now in the past week, Alucard, when you have become like that...and when, in the past twenty years it has not occurred. You are either getting badly out of touch or there is something else that has been distracting you." She raised an eyebrow, but Alucard was in no mood for games. He looked at her and walked around the desk to her, his face contorted from the sorrow he has and has had.
He thrust down his hand on the side of her desk, hunching over to tower over her. Anger and frustration was building too, as he narrowed his eyes.
"Going black is just as simple as that, that is all to be said. If you are just going to scold me more, do not waste your time; things are as they are and that is that." He really did not realize how harsh that sounded, but now that it was out in the open, there was nothing he could do now.
Integra looked at him softly, for the first time in weeks. Surprising him more than that was when she stood up from her chair, looking at him sternly as she made her first bold move, and wrapped her arms around him; holding him there.
But Alucard stood up, his hand leaving the desk, his face stunned as he tried to pull her away gently; he would not have this, her master just was not supposed to be this way...
"So, that is how it is. You are dismissed, but do not think I will let you two continue; it is not right."
It was like he was waiting for her to say that, because even before she could finish, he was gone.
While Alucard had been gone, Walter came obediently down and sat beside Seras in one of the wooden chairs that sat conveniently next to the centre table. He just merely watched over her, knowing that things would finally be okay again; checking her blood bags frequently as they got low, he did nothing to disturb her as she slept.
Alucard reappeared some ten minutes later; for Walter it didn't seem that long, but for Alucard, it seemed like he had lived another five hundred years. He was obviously a little weirded-out, like he sometimes usually was, but otherwise fine and thus unaffected.
He sat again on the edge of Seras' bed as she rested somewhat peacefully, his sorrowful eyes barely able to even look at her. So he turned to face Walter, who sat in the chair next to him.
"Thank you, for everything...I guess what you said to Integra was really something, I did not get scolded for once." He felt Seras start to move by his side, possibly to awaken. However she kept right on sleeping, trying to get every second of sleep she could possibly get. Walter glanced at Alucard and half smiled.
"Anything to be of service, Lord Alucard...It is my pleasure; but I see that you have not been quite yourself since. It is not right to hold everything...tonight, do try to get some rest." He stood up and bowed, making his way to the door. "Try and see what you would have lost had you not been a good keeper."
And with those last few words, he departed, leaving Alucard to stare into space.
He could not just stare forever, he thought; though, he looked into nothingness for about ten minutes or maybe even longer.
"Hmmm...Walter, you are still an old geezer...thanks." He muttered, turning to Seras to see her blood bags almost completely empty. He disappeared, most likely back to Walter to nab some more bags, and reappeared to resupply the blood.
He saw her stir a little more, a quake going through her body. He was careful as he continued to sit on the edge, turning his body sideways a little, and leaned over her, placing his right arm around her; he started to feel slightly better at her sight.
"I have said it once before, Seras does sleep a lot." He mused to himself. She twitched again in her sleep, the slight jolt of pain waking her rudely; the last thing she wanted to do was to wake up – and in pain, too.
Alucard noticed she was awake and got off of her immediately. His voice was deep, but held concern and worry.
"How do you feel?" Seras looked at him through sleep-ridden eyes, to her he sounded like a broken record, asking her that all the time. Something in the back of her head told her she didn't mind it all that much, but it wasn't really like him to be so concerned.
"Better..." Her voice sounded tired and worn out.
He wanted to comfort her, but everything and anything he could do would only harm her more. Taking her hand, the one that didn't seem to bother her as much, he turned his head sideways a little and rubbed her hand against his cheek.
"Try to sleep, Seras, I will not leave your side."
Again with the chivalry. Seras smiled meekly.
"I thought you'd never say so," She said, as if taking orders like a true servant; she closed her eyes and relaxed herself, quickly falling back to much-wanted sleep.
Sitting on the bed, he grinned slightly. He reached for the chair that Walter was using and tugged it closer, shifting over and sitting on it comfortably. Still holding her hand like a protective father would, he tilted his head forward so his chin rested against his chest; he wasted a lot of his energy to help her healing process.
He saw, before he shut his eyes, everything fade in and out, as if he were drowsy, drunk, or dying. He felt his insides turn, but could do nothing about it; he was not going to get up, he found that he couldn't get up. His eyes closed then, a slight half-grin on his face, and he was out cold.
Awhile later, about a little past midnight a twitchy Seras woke up again, feeling much more rested then she did before; she looked around at her surroundings again and saw Alucard slumped over, asleep, in a chair next to her.
She eyed the passed out Alucard strangely; he was oddly quiet this time around as he slept, but she shrugged it off, as he was just as tired as she was and needed rest too. She lay her head back down on the pillow on his bed and looked up at the top of the coffin lid, outlining the wooden grains with her eyes.
Something startled Alucard in his sleep as he woke with a jolt, looking around groggily. It took him a minute or two to realize where he was, seeing Seras looking up at the coffin lid and her hand still in his, he moved it a little just to let her know that he was there.
"Seras...This time you woke before me." He sounded quietly amused, though still out of it in his sad, strange way of his. She looked back over to him.
"Yes..." She shifted her hand in his, as it started to hurt from being in one position for so long; she winced as the movement hurt her a little more than she expected it to. Alucard noticed this flinch right away, still in some concern he glanced at the two blood bags. They were fine, but still...
"Try not to move, Seras, it will only hurt more." It was plain to see he was having major struggles of his own; his mind tried to cope with these new feelings of his...feelings he lacked to experience for over 400 years.
She looked down at her arm and knew that only too well for her own sake; she was getting almost angry at herself for being so weak and hurt so easily like this. She had to get better soon so she wouldn't be wasting time for herself, her master...and Integral...
Alucard looked down at her sadly; it was his job to protect Seras, and in his eyes, he had already failed. If only he could stop her pain, that would be all he really would want to do.
He held her hand to his chest, holding it tightly; his eyes looked up, speaking in a low voice.
"I do not know if I can go on; master, teacher, friend...When I go black like that, everything I am becomes a tool to prey on my mind. My stomach churns as I think how much I still want you, and yet, every time I do, I hurt you. To see you like this, it only makes me angrier at myself to know what I could have done to help."
Seras raised her left hand, her free hand, painfully and slowly to touch her stomach where about five of the many blades were driven into. She fingered where the deep holes used to be. His eyes followed her hand.
"Next time, I should have my halconnen."
"There was no time for that, he came on too quickly." He sighed, then speaking as if to himself with a new realization. "These feelings...I had them closed for so long; now they weigh on me...how is it you can stand feeling, Seras?"
She looked at him through the corners of her eyes.
"I don't know, master. They have never left me, yet...I have to say, it is strange...but..." She looked away to her hand that was on her stomach. Alucard looked at her mysteriously, inching closer on the chair, as if to try and learn from her. He released the almost death grip on her hand a little, his face still deeply uncolored and his eyes a soft red. He raised an eyebrow questioningly.
"'But'?"
She looked at him, smiling wearily again.
"...Nothing, master...Nothing at all." She lamely tried to cover up that she knew in the back of her mind, her humanity still lingered inside of her.
Thus meaning her weird sparratic emotions, even in her vampiric state. She did not want her master to know of her enduring humanity, as he did not approve, and kept silent.