Title: Comfort
Author: Matilda7
Category: Angst, Romance
Rating: PG-13
Code: A/S
Summary: Facing separation, Jon finds comfort in Hoshi.
Disclaimer: Paramount owns Enterprise, and all the characters.
Jon watched the stars outside his window. Enterprise was still for the moment allowing the now familiar streaks of light to coalesce once more into bright points. They looked very much as they might have appeared from Earth, though he found no comfort in this fact. Tonight he could see nothing but the vast, cold emptiness between.
It was a strange feeling. Throughout his life he had looked to the stars for comfort; they had been a constant presence in his world. Sparkling in the night sky, dancing in his father's computer simulations, or standing still and bright on the star charts that littered their house, since his earliest memory he had looked to the stars and wondered what they held.
As a child he had been enchanted by their brightness and number; each small light speaking to him of great adventures. When he was older it had been their fire and power that drew him in, the intensity of their heat matching his own anger, frustration and drive. Now their meaning had shifted again, and this time he saw how distant they were in the darkness of space.
Beside him Hoshi stirred, and he turned his eyes from the window to watch her. Sleep cast a peaceful glow across her face, smoothing away the lines of worry which had become permanent in her waking hours. She looked as young and carefree as she had when they first met. If he tried, he could almost imagine everything was fine, that this was just another night when he found himself awake, watching her. The ache in his chest though, made this fantasy difficult to hold on to.
There would not be another night like this, with Hoshi beside him. Tomorrow she would already be far from here, separated from him by the cold, black expanse of space. They had always known this day would come, when Starfleet would discover what was going on between them, and find some way to stop it. They knew the risks, but a part of him had hoped it would not be so soon.
It seemed like only moments had passed since the late night when the walls between them had finally come down. Only moments since they had first made love; their movements frantic and desperate in the beginning, gentle and slow as the night went on. Only moments.
"Jon?"
He jumped slightly at the sound of Hoshi's voice. She was watching him, the worry lines back on her face.
He tried to offer her a smile, wanting to seem okay, to be the one to offer comfort for once. It was a useless effort. Hoshi was an expert in communication, she could read the language of his body with ease.
She reached a hand across the space between them, placing it gently on his chest, above his heart. The warmth of her touch seemed to spread through him, and he closed his eyes for a moment, allowing it to soak in. She communicated whole paragraphs with her touch.
Slowly he moved to lay beside her, drawing her into the circle of his arms. He barely heard her as she spoke once more, her voice only a soft determined whisper. "This isn't the end."
He pulled her closer, listening to the rhythm of her breathing as she fell back into sleep. He tried to memorize everything about this moment; the way she smelled, the sound of her heartbeat, the feel of her warm and solid in his arms. He hoped the memory would be enough to get him through the months or perhaps years ahead.
Hoshi's words drifted across his mind, repeating over and over like a mantra..."this isn't the end, this isn't the end," and he clung to the comfort they brought, letting her faith in their future wash over him, trying with each breath to make himself believe. Slowly he began to relax.
His last thought, before sleep brought darkness, was of the two of them, many years from now, when passing time had etched lines in their skin, and dusted their hair with streaks of silver. They were laying together, much as they were now, somewhere beneath the stars. As Hoshi took his hand in hers, he looked above and saw the night sky. The stars there were bright and numerous, burning away the dark between with their fire.
*****
