A/N : Big thanx once again to those who reviewed the previous chapter - it means a lot to me to know you like this, especially big thanx to Spike's Bint who has reviewed most often and SpIkEs AnGel who definitely wrote my longest review so far! :-)

Keep reading and reviewing please - here's the next chapter!

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 6 - Loves Bitch

"Hey Red" Spike greeted his friend as he opened the front door and saw her there.

"Hey Spike" she grinned, "You look better today"

"Can't say I feel much better" he replied, moving to let her into the apartment. It was the middle of the afternoon and Buffy had gone home to change the clothes she'd been wearing for over twenty four hours and to relax in the bath. She had an awful lot of thinking to do and she had to do some of it alone. Unbeknownst to her, Spike had some serious thoughts of his own.

"Look, I'm sorry about yesterday" he told his red-haired friend as he flopped down on the sofa and she took the armchair nearby, "I guess I didn't handle the whole thing too well"

"Well, I won't deny you were getting kind of scary for a while there" Willow told him, "but we'd never just abandon you. Me and Xander, we're your friends and no matter what does or doesn't happen with you and Buffy we'll still love you both...have you spoken to her since yesterday?" she asked carefully and she was surprised when her bleach blond friend burst out laughing.

"Did I say something funny?" she asked with a confused expression.

"No, no, I'm sorry" Spike waved a hand to dismiss her incorrect idea as he tried to stop his laughter, "it's just, if I didn't laugh..." he stopped abruptly, tears of pain replacing those the giggling had caused, "Will, she's having the git's baby" he said as if it were the most horrific thing in the world, to him of course it probably was.

"Oh Goddess" was the only words that came from the girl as her had covered her mouth in shock.

There was silence then , a long silence that might have lasted forever if it weren't for a knock on the door. Spike appeared to be stuck to the sofa so Willow moved to answer the persist guest.

"Oh Xander" she gasped when she saw him, throwing herself into his arms.

"Hey Will" he replied with a frown, wrapping his arms around her, this was not exactly the welcome he'd been expecting but it was pleasant enough, except...

"Willow, what are you doing answering Spike's door?"

The girl pulled back from her friend, wiping a stray tear away with the back of her hand. She looked carefully at her best friend, one arm still over his shoulder as she stepped sideways to reveal Spike.

"Okay, weirdest feeling of deja vu" Xander frowned harder as he saw Spike almost in tears on the sofa again, much like the day before when he'd visited with Willow. "Does someone what to tell me what's going on?"

When Willow and Spike finally found their voices they made an explanation, Spike expanding on his original statement to Willow now so that both his friends knew all about Buffy's visit to his apartment the night before her staying over and what had happened that morning.

"...so we both called in sick, like we do sometimes, then we talked a bit...watched TV when we realised there was very little either of us could really say...then she went home for a bath and a change of clothes" Spike concluded.

"Buffy's pregnant?" Xander gasped, barely having taken in any of the explanation other than those few words, "how?"

"What do you want, Harris?! A bloody diagram?!" Spike barked in a rage and the brunette soon realised how stupid his question had been.

"I'm sorry" he said quietly, so as not to trigger another outburst from his friend, "I just...I can't believe this is happening..."

"Well believe it, cos it is" the bleach blond mumbled sadly, and a much calmer now Willow spoke up.

"On the upside, at least Buffy sees what Angel is really like now" she tried desperately to find a bright side, "I mean, if he got mad about the baby..."

"Won't make a bloody difference" Spike snorted, a tone somewhere between sadness, disgust, anger and pain, as he spoke "he'll still use her and she'll take it...silly bint"

"He wouldn't...I mean, she wouldn't..." the red-head rambled, tears coming back to her eyes and Xander wrapped an arm around her shoulders knowing what she meant. Would Angel make Buffy abort the baby?

"I don't know, sweetie" her friend told her honestly as she leaned her head on his shoulder and he absently rubbed his hand soothingly on her back.

"He would" Spike said bluntly as ever, "He'd make her and she'd do it" he told them, cold pain in his bright blue eyes as he looked up, tears threatening to spill forth again at any moment.

As awful as it was both Willow and Xander knew it was true. Buffy was so blind when it came to Angel, if he told her to jump she asked how high, it would be laughably pathetic if it were not so tragic.

Night fell once more and not knowing what to say or do in the presence of their friend, Willow and Xander said goodnight to Spike and left the apartment. The Englishman went straight to bed, though he didn't sleep and knew he stood no chance of doing so tonight. The smell of Buffy's vanilla fragrance hung on the bedclothes, strands of her golden hair remained on the pillow beside his head and every time he closed his eyes he saw her face, not smiling and happy like it should be, but broken and tear stained as she sobbed on his shoulder.

"Things might look better in the morning" Willow had told him, though he was sure even when she said it she knew as well as he did it was rubbish.

Xander had tried for an encouraging smile but it had come out as a half frown, half grimace, as he patted his friend on the back and left the apartment with a comforting hand on Willow's back.

As Spike tried in vain to let sleep take him away from the pain that was consciousness, his two friends walked down the street towards their respective apartments, Xander's arm having found it's way around Willow's shoulders once again, her arm wound around his waist.

"Xan, that won't ever happen to us will it?" the red-head asked with a worried frown.

"What's that, Will?" he asked looking sideways at her as they walked along.

"Well, I couldn't bear to argue with you or anything, I couldn't lose you..." her voice wavered just at the thought of her best friend not being by her side like he had been for the past twenty years of her life.

"No Will, it'll never happen to us" he told her firmly, looking right into her eyes as they stopped walking and stood opposite each other outside the door to the apartment building where she lived, "Us, we're forever friends, nothing and no-one could ever change what I feel for you"

He got a smile out of her then, not a huge smile but it was an improvement on the almost constant frown she'd worn since they'd left Spike behind.

"Forever friends" she echoed softly, "Yeah, I like that" she smiled, and he smiled back down at her. Anyone watching would surely have thought these two were a couple, and maybe they were - a couple of friends, a couple of best friends, but not the couple of lovers they might be perceived to be. 'And it's better this way' Willow thought to herself, knowing things would only get complicated like they were for Buffy and Spike if she didn't continue to bury that little flame in her heart that said 'I'm in love with Xander Harris'. She'd give it time, the torch would go out, she knew it had too, she refused to lose her best friend for something so petty and silly as a life long crush...

Two streets away and unaware of all the emotions she was stirring up by her predicament, Buffy stood in the street, tears streaming down her face yet again as her heart felt like it literally shattered. She'd been given a choice and she'd made it, whether she could go through with her decision, she didn't know but this was important she had to do it. It would do her no good to ask advice of her friends, especially Spike, for she already knew what they'd say, what he would say.

This was a decision only she could make, and Buffy knew it was one of the hardest she would ever have to make. Her lover, or her unborn child, how do you choose between two things that should mean so much?

The water that cascaded down her face told anyone who saw her just how hard that decision had been, but she'd made it and she must go through with, that or lose everything.

To Be Continued...