A/N : I'm particularly proud of this chapter, which probably makes me sound very big-headed, but I don't mean to sound like that, it's just when I finsished this chapter and read over it I thought it was one of my better chapters. Oh well, I guess the proof will be how many of you guys review it and what you say about it.

Just before we get into the actual chapter, I'd like to thank everyone who has reviewed so far, because I was kind of nervous about this fic and the support I have got from the readers/reviewers has given me much more confidence in this story, so thanks to; Jo, spike's girl, Once More With Feeling, buffsterangelicxws, Michelle, spikes1pet, feliperijo1, Dark Raven, Lori2, Spikes Bint, Star-Crossed Lover1, DM Angel, Chofita, tinkerbell42, SpIkEs AnGeL, Spoiler Babe, Desperate desperado, fictionfreak2, darklover, Wolfie - many of which have reviewed more than once! Okay, now that's done, here is the latest chapter!

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 9 - Love Is Like A Butterfly

Like a painful game of hide and seek gone wrong, Willow stood outside Xander's front door, Xander outside Buffy's, Spike outside Willow's. All just realising the person they're looking for isn't home. Three sighs, all very much the same, as the three turned dejectedly away.

'Was I wrong?' they all wondered, 'Did I make the wrong decision?'

Willow slumped down to sit on the edge of her suitcase right outside Xander's door. She couldn't face home and she didn't think she had the strength to start again and leave. She'd finally made up her mind to tell Xander what he meant to her, that she really truly was in love with him, and now with him not being there...She was left with a strange feeling, somewhere between relief at delaying and sadness that her plan hadn't worked out.

Willow ran her hands back through her red hair and sighed deeply once again. Where would Xander be this early on a Saturday? 'Maybe he went to my place to see me?' she mused, 'Or to Spike's to see how he was doing?' Completely sick of wondering now, and more so of dragging a suitcase behind her everywhere she went, she made herself as comfortable as possible atop her suitcase, back against the door of her best friends apartment, her new plan the simplest of them all - no running, no hiding, just waiting and then truth telling. She only hoped Xander came home soon and that she had the guts to say what she'd come to say when he did.

She had no idea, but the man she loved was not so far away. After trying Willows and Buffy's apartments, he figured the final place to look would be Spike's, but he was out too and walking around like this wasn't doing any good. It was homeward bound for the Xan-man, at least for a while. He still wanted to talk things out with Willow, despite the sick-with-nerves feeling in his stomach, he wanted her to know how he felt before it was too late, but he'd not slept most of the night before from worrying and he was practically dead on his feet from the walking all morning.

As he came through the front door of his apartment building, he had no idea what awaited him, just two flights of stairs away...

"Coffee, black, strong" Spike barked at the waitress of the Espresso Pump. Having not found Buffy at either her own apartment or Willows, he'd immediately realised who she was probably with - that wanker, Angel, he had no doubt.

"Bastard" he seethed to himself, playing roughly with a paper napkin in his hands as he leaned on the counter of the coffee shop. Last night he'd clocked less than three or four hours sleep and it was starting to tell on him even now. In frustration he tore the napkin to shreds, his hands needing something to do, he reached for a cigarette and his lighter and lit up.

The waitress didn't speak, in fact she barely looked at Spike as she put the coffee cup in front of him and scuttled away. 'Probably do look a bit scary' Spike laughed humourlessly to himself as he thought about it. Wearing the same pair of jeans he'd worn the past two or three days, hair in disarray, clothes mostly black, cigarette hanging from his lips and a permanent scowl on his face, he noticed as he caught his reflection in the side of the silver metal coffee machine to his left.

What had become of him? Spike was not the kind of man to be in a coffee shop, half asleep and looking a mess on a Saturday morning, or any morning for that matter. He was never depressed, he was never violent, he was such a 'together' guy. Only Buffy could reduce him to his present state.

He didn't want to go home, too much reminded him of her. Her things she'd left there when she'd stayed nights, gifts she'd given him, furniture she'd helped pick out, everything was about her.

Stubbing his cigarette out in a nearby ash-tray, he closed his eyes tightly, tried to push Buffy from his mind, and even if that were possible (which it was not) he knew he'd never be able to push her from his heart. What had he been thinking when he thought of going to see her, looking such a state, to tell her he was in love with her? Simple answer - he wasn't thinking, he was only feeling.

One more coffee, then he'd go home, try to sleep if he could, though he doubted the caffeine would let him now... 'Spike you're a pratt' he told himself in no uncertain terms, before giving up on the idea of more coffee and beginning the long drag home, the very place he'd said he didn't want to be, lighting a second cigarette as he did so.

Outside of the building she knew a a second home, Buffy dialled a number she knew so well and waited...

"Hello" said a voice on the other end of the line, and Buffy smiled at the sound of it, at the sound of her Angel.

"I need to see you" she all but whispered, desperately into the phone. If Spike was not around, the only other man she wanted, the only other person, was her lover.

"Did you do what I told you?" came the stern reply, like a Victorian father to a small child who'd misbehaved.

"I made an appointment...three days time" she mumbled nervously, desperately fighting back tears that threatened to spill forth at any moment from the thought of what that appointment really meant.

"Good girl" Angel said more calmly and kindly, "I'll meet you in the park, ten minutes"

"See you there" Buffy smiled now, "I love you" she added, softly.

He'd already hung up.

Buffy walked to the park as fast as her already tired limbs would allow, knowing she mustn't be late, she'd never want to be, not for her Angel. She was at 'their' bench inside five minutes, and sat down to wait patiently for her man. A warm breeze blew her hair about her face as she fiddled idly with the strap of her purse. Turning her head she saw a woman, maybe two or three years older than herself she guessed, seated on the next bench, smiling and watching a small child, no more than three years old. The child, a blond and blue eyed little boy, giggled madly as he chased a multicoloured butterfly amongst the grass. As much as the pretty little thing made to fly away, it always seemed to come back down to the ground, right in front of the child that could be such a danger to its precious wings...

"Hey" said a voice in a harsh tome, to Buffy's left. She swung her head around to see the form of Angel looming over her.

"Hey" she smiled widely as he sat down beside her, not too close of course as they were in a public place. They met in this park whenever they needed to talk, usually about when and where there next 'date' would be, of course sex session would have been a more fitting phrase...

"So, what did you need to see me about so urgently?" Angel asked her, leaning back on the bench, glancing sideways at Buffy.

"Oh, well, I..." the blonde stammered, "I just, there is no big reason" she admitted, " just needed to see you, needed you to hold me..." she leant toward him and he immediately jolted away.

"You know I can't" he snapped in a low voice, "Not in public"

"I know" Buffy nodded sadly as she turned her head away, "I just..." she was not allowed to speak as Angel continued, ploughing right over her words.

"And you had me make excuses and sneak around just so you could sit next to me on a bench!" his tone got considerably nastier with every syllable, Buffy hardly dare look at him as she knew his blood was slowly boiling.

"Angel, please" she begged, tears forming once again in her hazel eyes, "it's been a bad day and I..."

"I don't have time for this" he snapped, interrupting her again as he got to his feet. With the nearby woman and child recently departed and no-one else around, he allowed himself to raise his voice a little, "Actually, I just don't have time for you" he finished with his back to the distraught young woman whose heart he had just broken.

With that he began to stride away at some speed and Buffy took a moment to comprehend what he'd just said. Had he just dumped her, after she'd agreed to do what he asked, when she loved him so much, how could he do this.

In a moment, she was on her feet and racing after him. She caught up with him a short distance from the building where he lived.

"Angel, please" she cried, grabbing at his arm, a couple of people stopped and stared as she hung off his sleeve in clear distress, tears coursing down her face as she begged him to listen, to reconsider...

"Buffy, you're making a fool out of yourself" he told her coolly, removing her grappling hands from his jacket and turning his back on her as she wept from sheer agony in her heart.

"No" she sobbed, "I need you" she chased him to the front door of his building and again made a grab at him as he opened the door to go inside.

"Well I don't need you, not anymore" he said sternly, physically pushing her away. She stumbled at the step, but did not quite go down. Steadying herself she continued to sob as Angel turned to go into the building, only to be confronted by his wife.

"Angel?" Darla said with surprise as she met her husband by the door. Buffy blinked hard to control her tears, wiping her face with her hands, not knowing whether to stay and fight for the man she loved or run away.

"Darla, honey" the man smiled as he took her arm and turned her around slightly, "what are you doing out here?"

Buffy lifted her head to see this wife of Angels as said wife gave her response to her husbands question. Shock hit her like a ton of bricks - Darla was pregnant, by at least seven or eight months by the looks of things.

"I woke up and you were gone" the blonde frowned at Angel who tried to ignore Buffy's presence, but Darla had already seen her there, crying her heart out, her eyes now wide as saucers and her mouth wide open as she realised the most awful truth.

"What?" she gasped, unable to take it in, "I don't..." she couldn't form the sentence, she could barely form a thought in her head. Angel had told her to kill their soon to be child because he didn't want kids yet, he wasn't ready, and here was his wife who was quite clearly going to give birth to his child in less than a month or two.

"Angel, who is this?" the pregnant woman asked the man who held her arm, desperate to get her back inside the building. He cast a backward glance at a still stunned Buffy before replying.

"Her, she's no-one" he said, cold as ice, "nothing and no-one" he repeated. "Now come on baby, let's get you back inside" he said, gently guiding her back into the building and toward the elevator. As he turned to close the door behind them, he looked down upon Buffy with a look of disgust.

"Buffy, go home" he practically spat, "and don't ever call me again. It's over"

No word would come, barely any sound as Buffy braced herself, her back against the wall. Tears ceased, too shocked to fall, the girl barely had breath in her body.

"Are you okay?" a voice asked to her side, a kind looking woman, the same one from the park, with the small blonde child at her heels.

Buffy gave no response, just pushed herself off from the wall and ran, ran away from everything towards, she had no idea where, not even acknowledging the woman who had tried to help her, or the small child beside that woman, remnants of a crushed butterfly in his little hand.

To Be Continued...