A/N : Didn't realise how long this chapter had got until I'd finished it, I hope it's not too boring or depressing. I think I may be losing readers cos this is too miserable and angsty but if you can bear it for a few more chapters, I do promise it will eventually get better...anyway, thanks for those who have kept on reviewing, I did a little shout out in the note on chapter 9, here's another to say thankyou so everyone who has reviewed since then...thanks to; courtney, Spoiler Babe, Jen, SpIkEs AnGeL, Meagan, Spikes Bint, tinkerbell42, Mita427, Lori2, Chofita, spikewuvsbuffy, EmilyTheStrange1, SpuffyGal03, hannah, buffsterangelicxws, LunarFaerie - you guys are great! :-) Please keep reading and reviewing, here is the thirteenth chapter...

(For disclaimer, etc. - see chapter 1)

Chapter 13 - What She Does To Me

Monday morning came too soon, and Spike just couldn't face the thought of working. He called in sick yet again and he knew he was playing a dangerous game now, too many more days of alleged illness and he was going to be in some serious trouble with his boss, but his employment was the last thing on Spike's mind right now, the main thing of course being Buffy.

Where was she? What was she doing? What was she thinking about? All questions that came to mind the moment his eyes opened, and possibly even before they had. Sleep had only been possible because he was so emotionally drained that his body just couldn't function anymore until it had rested, even now that it had it's much needed sleep, Spike still didn't feel able to move. He felt numb and lost without his precious girl.

Desperate to think of other things, Spike forced himself off the bed and towards the kitchen. Still no food to speak of in the cupboards, he noticed, of course grocery shopping had been even further from his mind than his job, this last week or so. Breakfast was not going to happen and to be honest the bleach blond didn't care, didn't care about anything much this morning, except the girl that clouded his thoughts, that made him so happy just a short time ago and was now turning him into the most miserable man on the planet, just by not being there.

Spike decided even if he wasn't going to work today, he had to find something to do, anything to occupy his mind. He went to the living room, sat down on the couch and flicked on the TV. The daytime shows were far from his kind of thing, all for bored housewives, and nothing to interest this young man. He sighed as he turned the set off again and his mind immediately went to Buffy.

It was no good, he could think of nothing else. He wondered if talking to someone about it might make it better, he doubted it but the boredom and loneliness were going to drive him insane, if thoughts of his best friend didn't get there first.

Guessing he would be at work or at least on his way there by now, but deciding to try anyway, Spike picked up the phone and called Xander's apartment. After five rings he was about to hang up but a voice said 'hello?' just before he did.

"Xander? It's Spike" he said in as normal a tone as he could, "You busy, mate?"

"Spike" Xander greeted, "I was just, well, I...is everything okay?" he wanted to know, noticing his friends voice was not as cheerful as usual, and of course remembering how upset he'd been when he'd last seen him.

"Everything is..." Spike was going to say fine, but he knew such a blatant lie would be easily identifiable to his friend even on the phone, he was too upset to get such an untruth out of his mouth without crying like a poof, he was sure "Everything is horrible" he admitted with a sigh, "Don't s'pose you could spare us a couple of hours for a chat, could you?" he asked him, "Kind of a man to man thing"

Xander looked from the living room through to his own room where Willow still lie in his bed, asleep right now, tired out despite the fact neither of them had really left the bed for the past twenty four hours and more, but then they weren't exactly doing a lot of sleeping in there. The brunette sighed, he'd already called work and managed to get the day off but so had Willow and the plan was to spend it together...

"Sure, I don't have to work anyway so I'll be right over" he said into the phone, knowing Wills would be upset but also that she would understand Spike needed a friend right now. Something awful had probably happened with Buffy since Friday when he'd last seen his best male friend, and he had to be there for him when he asked. Help was not something Spike often asked for, in anything, which made Xander all the more concerned about him.

"Thanks mate" Spike answered sincerely, "Means a lot"

As the two men hung up the phone, Xander wandered back to his room and lightly shook Willow's shoulder.

"Hey sweetie" he smiled and spoke softly as her eyelids flickered open.

"Hey" she grinned, before asking, "why are you all standing and with the clothes and everything?"

"I'm sorry honey but I'm gonna have to go out for a while. I think something happened with Spike and the Buffster, he just called and he doesn't sound so good" Xander explained as he pulled on a clean pair of jeans and a white T-shirt, then hunted around for his shoes.

"Is he okay?" Willow asked, sitting up, pulling the sheets around her body as she watched her new boyfriend search frantically for his footwear, "I mean, you don't think he'd do anything stupid, do you?"

In all honesty, Xander didn't know what Spike would do, he had no idea how upset he was or even the whole reason why, but he couldn't tell Willow of his worries.

"I'm sure he'll be fine" he attempted a smile as he pulled on his newly found shoes and moved toward the bed again, "I'll be back as soon as I can, but you do understand why I have to go right?" he practically begged her with his eyes to not be mad at him, oF course she never could be.

"It's okay" the red-head smiled, and he rested a hand on the side of her head and kissed her softly on the lips, "You want me to come with?" she asked as he pulled away again.

"No you stay here" the brunette told her, "I think this is a guy kind of a thing" he explained, "and besides, I need you to keep the bed warm for when I get back" he grinned, mischief twinkling in his eyes as he moved in to kiss her again. It took a lot of will power for him to walk away, but he did and it took just a few minutes to walk to Spike's apartment.

"Thanks for coming, mate" Spike managed half a smile as he let Xander into the apartment. The brunette nodded in response as he came in and both men took a seAt on the couch. Silence reigned and it was starting to annoy Xander.

"Spike you asked me to come over here to talk" he said looking over his friend whose eyes were fixed on the carpet "and now you're all big with the silence, what gives?" he asked him.

"Buffy's gone" came the almost inaudible answer.

"Gone?" Xander echoed, panic rising in his voice "Gone where? What do you mean by gone?"

"Left Sunnydale, don't know where she's headed" Spike shrugged, before looking over at his mate and seeing definite fear in his eyes "don't worry, she'll be back" he assured him "just needs time to think, so she said..."

Xander looked a little calmer then as Spike went back to his in-depth study of the floor coverings. The non-resident of the apartment still had questions that needed answered, but his friend was not exactly forthcoming with the information.

"Think about what?" Xander prompted "Spike, come on man, tell me what happened"

A humourless laugh escaped the man's lips as his hands ran over his face, then pushed his hair back from his forehead.

"Where do you want me to start?" he asked.

"Beginning's always a good place" the man beside him suggested and with a sigh, Spike began his monologue about Buffy and how Angel had dumped her, followed by his arrival home to find the distraught girl already there. It was a lengthy explanation during which Spike lit up a cigarette and Xander did not complain about passive smoking and lung cancer as he usually did. Spike had gone through enough these past few days, he at least deserved one cigarette in peace, if that's what he felt he needed. As the most important part of the conversation came, Spike's pauses in his speech became much longer and Xander was practically falling on the floor he was so far on the edge of his seat.

"And then, she just kissed me and...I dunno how it happened" the bleach blond shook his head as he explained the events of Saturday night and Sunday morning "we just didn't stop and...y'know" he looked away, suddenly very uneasy.

"You and the Buffster made with the ...making?" Xander asked, wide eyed and completely shocked by what he'd just been told. The very fact that his two friends had been together that way was surprising enough, but that made Spike's misery such a mystery now.

"Yeah, all night" Spike answered with a dreamy kind of a smile, that quickly disappeared as he exhaled smoke into the room "I thought I'd died and gone to heaven, then in the morning..."

"She blew you off?" Xander guessed, and that was why Spike was so bummed all over again.

"Got it in one" came the reply, his friends voice much quieter than usual as he stubbed his fag out on a coaster that sat on the coffee table.

"Geez, Buffy is like one of my best friends, and I know you're in love with her" Xander sighed "but man, that girl has serious issues with guys!" he realised, thinking of Angel as well as Spike.

"Don't I know it" said the man beside him, taking a second cigarette from the packet and lighting up again "Kind of gives me problems too though" he said "what with the whole being in love with the silly bint and all" he laughed but his heart wasn't in it and Xander tried desperately to look sympathetic, and not cough up a lung as Spike blew smoke all over him.

"Okay, I need a beer" the brunette announced, thinking logically that Spike couldn't have a can of alcohol and a cigarette at his mouth at the same time "and I think you do too" he nodded, standing up and heading for the kitchen.

"You won't find any in there" Spike called after him "or anywhere for that matter. I've sort of drunk the place dry, one way and another" he explained with a half smile as Xander turned back to him.

Glancing between his friend and the door, the man on his feet decided it was safe to leave Spike alone, just long enough to fetch some foamy goodness. He was miserable but not suicidally so, at least Xander hoped not, it was often hard to know exactly what was going on in that guys head...

"Okay, give me ten minutes" he said eventually, heading for the door.

Practically running to the nearest store and back, Xander's mind whirled with intense thoughts. Angel had dumped Buffy. Buffy and Spike had slept together. Buffy was gone. Spike was in love with her and miserable again. Then there was himself and Willow. The one thought amongst all the badness that brought a smile to his face, and Xander felt horribly guilty for it.

As he came back to Spike's front door and knocked, he knew it was all going to come to the point where he was going to have to lie to his friend, one way or another. He couldn't tell the truth, couldn't tell him he'd had the day off work to spend in bed with Willow, couldn't tell him he was in love with her and she felt the same, how awful would that be for the guy who had been so unfortunate in his own situation of the being in love with his best friend?

Xander knew if his life had have been a plot in a movie he was watching, he'd be laughing by now at how ridiculous it was. Four friends, two guys and two girls, three of which fall for each other, a fourth who doesn't. Throw in some sex and confusion and bring to the boil with a whole load of tears and misery, there it was on a plate, his life, his friends lives, the comedy show of the year to a passer-by.

Four hours past before Xander left Spike's apartment and headed back to his own. During that time they'd talked over everything, old times as well as the painful present, the brunette being careful how much alcohol he drank for fear of divulging the secret he knew he must keep for everyone's sake. Spike had come so close to crying several times and Xander was pretty sure when he left that his friend would release so many tears when he was finally alone, left with the best cliché Xander could come up with at the time 'things will get better in time'.

As the young man entered his apartment once again, he found Willow, no longer in his bed but sitting on the sofa, watching TV and stuffing cookies in her mouth, a sure sign she'd been worrying, Xander knew, Willow was not big with the over-eating of sweet things, unless something was bothering her.

"Hey I thought you were keeping that bed warm, Worry-Girl" he smiled as he came to sit beside her on the couch.

"I was" she nodded, trying to swallow before she sprayed her lover with crumbs, "and I'm not Worry-Girl" she protested, before adding off Xander's look, "okay, so I was a little worried...is Spike okay?"

"Not so much" came Xander's grim reply, "it's a long story but before we get into it there's something I have to say" he said as seriously as he'd ever said anything.

Willow put the half empty box of cookies down on the coffee table, turned off the TV and swallowed hard, before turning to the man she loved, sharing a serious look with him.

"Okay" she nodded, "say it" she readied herself for whatever good or bad might come.

"Willow" Xander said slowly, "I want you to know that I'm so completely in love with you, and that last night was, in more ways the one, the most incredible night of my life. And if you don't feel the same, or you regret anything about it, I want you to tell me now, because I don't think my heart could take the breakage if you wait too long to tell me"

With tears behind her eyes and a ghost of a smile on her lips, Willow lifted a hand to Xander's face, running her fingers over his cheek and back through his hair, without a word. She leaned forward slowly until her lips touched his in the sweetest of kisses, before pulling away slightly and smiling.

No words were needed, he knew what she meant. She felt exactly the same and their love would be eternal they both knew, as the gap between them closed once again, and they became as close as it was humanly possible to be once again. It was several hours before Xander got around to telling Willow about Spike and Buffy, but there was no doubt in either of their minds by the time those hours were over, that they were both completely in love with each other.

To Be Continued...