Howdy y'all. Just one more chapter closer to the inevitable end of the story. Okay so please review. A happy dance and hurrays will ensue! Note: I really don't have a happy dance. It's actually just me saying 'reviews reviews la la la' whilst I twirl and jump around.
~~~~~~~~~~
Willow pushed horridly past the hospital doors.
Oh god oh god oh god oh god…
She was still in her night shirt. She had only stopped to throw on some baggy jeans, a coat and some sneakers. She had taken her parents car. Well, they had actually bought it for her but she never really used it. She saw her friends sitting in a waiting room. Tugging her jacket closer around her, she ran over to them.
"Xander. Oh my God what, what happened?" Willow asked as she ran up to her best friend. He stood up slowly. After tossing a worried glance to Cordelia he placed a hand on his friends arm and led her to the other side of the waiting room. "Harmony was…" "Attacked by Angelus I know. Buffy told me on the phone. What? How? Where did you find her?" she managed to ask. "We were patrolling. Then we heard a scream and decided to check it out. Then we saw him. He had her gripped by the neck pushed up against a tree. He took a lot of blood Wills. But, they say she's gonna be alirght." "Oh…my gosh."
Willow glanced over at the waiting area. She noticed Cordelia sitting on one of the couches. Oh Oz is here she thought. And he looks so worried. Well I mean, I think that's his worried look. It actually kind of reminds me of his regular look. Like how his serious voice and his sarcastic voice kind of sound the same and…
"Buffy." she heard Xander say. "Will. You came." Buffy said as she came up to them. "Of, of course I came. I mean…how is she? What-what happened?"
Willow tried to listen to what Buffy was saying but her mind kept wandering back to earlier that evening. Angelus had been in her room. She had told him that she was tired and he just left her alone. Let her drift blissfully into an ignorant sleep. And now her selfishness had almost cost another life.
She shook her head. She couldn't blame herself. Not now. Buffy needed her to be strong. It was *not* her fault that Angelus attacked Harmony. I mean he probably would've done it anyway if we hadn't have ran into her that night.
But it was her fault. Arrgh she thought. Moral deliberation later. Deal with threat of big bad now.
"Hey. How's Cordelia?" Buffy asked. Willow turned to see that Oz had now joined their Scooby pow-wow.
"She's well, really freaked. I mean her and Harmony were actually really close and the fact that Angelus attacked her…" "I know. But my question is why did her attacked her in the first place?" Buffy wondered aloud.
"Well he is a homicidal maniac now Buff. He's not the guy you knew." "Yea. But when we saved her, he seemed more than just a little upset. Like he had another reason for killing her other than just to get to me."
Willow cringed as a searing pain of guilt when through her. This really was her fault. Buffy's words did nothing but confirm that. Was this what it felt like for Angel? When he remembered all the deaths he had caused. No wonder he brooded so much.
"Maybe he didn't know that she was our friend. Maybe he just saw her and thought 'hey I'm hungry!' Or you know. Whatever it is vampires think when they see something that they want to eat." she muttered slowly.
"I don't think so. It was just to much of a coincidence. He'd never pass up a chance to hurt me." Buffy said.
"Yea. I think I have to go with Buff on this one." "But why her. Why not one of…" she stopped not wanting to build anymore tension.
Oh God. Now she was lying to them? She knew why Angelus attacked Harmony. He wasn't trying to hurt Buffy. He was trying to hurt her. A wave of anger replaced her guilt. Not anger with the dark vampire, but with herself. How could she have been so stupid? It was because of her that a girl was almost killed. Maybe if she had just stayed home that first night. Maybe, maybe…maybe she would be dead herself she thought bitterly.
"Guy's. I know…" Wait. She couldn't tell them. Angelus had warned her not to tell any one. Last time she disobeyed him, he ended up meeting the girl he had just put into a coma.
"Yea?" Oz asked seeing a look of panic on her face.
"Nothing. Let's just go see if Harmony's okay."
Xander agreed and went over to take Cordelias hand in his. He gave her a few words of comfort and led her over to where the group stood.
~~~~~~~~~
"Dr. Green?" Cordelia asked.
"Yes?" said a man as he turned away from the nurses. He was tall, wearing green scrubs and had black hair. Almost like Angelus. Desperate to get the vampire out of her head she blurted out, "How is she? Is she awake? Can we see her yet?" "She's fine. She did however lose a fair amount of blood. No she's not awake and she may not be for a while. Now you say this was all gang related?" he asked turning towards the blond.
"What! Harmony would never…" Cordelia almost screamed. Xander squeezed her hand before she could finish the statement. "I mean yea. Gang related."
Cordelia went to see her first. And took Xander and Buffy in with her as her moral support.
"You okay?" "I'm fine Oz really." Willow said making her way back to waiting room. She sat down on the end of one of the couches. It wasn't all that comfortable but she wasn't to concerned about that. Her mind kept re-playing Angelus's visit. What could she have done? Could she have really *done* anything. She knew he fed. Knew he killed. But tried not to think about it. It helped keep her fear to a minimum. But now she was very afraid.
"You don't look fine." Oz said as he took the seat across from her.
"Resolve face Oz. I'm good."
"You don't have to be afraid to talk to me Will."
"It's just that. She didn't deserve…"
"What?" "It should've been me." she mumbled. She hadn't even realized she'd said anything or that he had even heard her until he took her small hands in his own.
"Willow. Don't blame yourself. There's nothing you could've done to stop it. It's not like you introduced them or anything."
Unshed tears began to sting in her eyes. She knew that he didn't mean it. But she had introduced them. And then she had told Angelus how much she hated her. But no matter how much Harmony had tormented her she didn't deserve to die.
"I have to go. It's late and my parent's will worry and..I've gotta go." She got up and quickly began to walk away.
"I'll see you at school tomorrow?" he yelled. She merely turned and shrugged before running out of the hospital.
~~~~~~~~~~~
She found herself driving by Angelus' apartment. No she reminded herself. Angel's old apartment. She turned up the volume on the radio and tried to drown out her thoughts of guilt. Xander had let her borrow his Trust Company cd and now she was just losing herself in the music.
*See that face from across the room and I can feel you're nothing show your fear its not hard to see intentions pale its blinding
Stop stop from the place ive been no good for the shape im in im slow to the race you win you wanna take me out stop stop with your face off in my space and the wicked descend no taste for the place im in you need to stop stop
I am all you need to know and im everywhere you go no one can save you now when it all comes around I am everything you see and im what you'll never be no one can save you now when it all comes around *
She shuddered. Song hit's a little to close to home. She mentally scolded herself. No. There are people who can save me. I *am* not alone in this.
But she was. She couldn't tell anyone. Or they would die. Just like countless other people had. Just like Harmony almost had tonight. She skipped to the next song and sighed. God she hated this. She hated Angelus.
Didn't she?
Of course she did! Why wouldn't she. Evil vampire who almost killed one of your…err…people you knew. The fact that he had been sometimes gentle or caring with her couldn't change that. Or that he could be charming and intelligent and he was kind of handsome. Wait? Where did those thoughts come from. Obviously from a very not good place in the back of my mind. She chalked it all up to savvier sleep deprivation and teenage hormones. Yep. That's it. She just needed to go home and get about 48 hours of sleep. She'd be fine.
She groaned. The sun would be up soon. School. Then home. Then Angelus. No. School. Then home. Then sleep. Screw Angelus. She was going to get some well deserved rest. So there!
~~~~~~~~
Okay. So school, home, Angelus, then sleep. Yea she could handle that. Only a little tiny training lesson though. Oh and homework. School, home, Angelus, homework, sleep. But can't really forget about shower. And she did need to tidy up her room.
"Stop it!" she whispered quietly to herself.
"You okay Wills? You been kind of, edgy all morning." Xander asked his best friend as he took a seat next to her at the lunch table.
"Just trying to plan my evening. Got lot's to do." she replied.
"Whatever it is you should cancel. You're training with me and Giles tonight." "What!"
Buffy, Xander, Oz and some other students looked at her strangely. She began to blush furiously. "I mean um, what?"
"Look, after last nights attack on Harmony, well. He could be coming for any of us. So I talked about it with Giles and we decided that you all might want to take a few self defense lessons. No more books. It's time for some action."
"Books?" Oz asked.
"Yep. Our little Willow's been reading up on how to fight the big bad. She dusted three vamps the other night!"
"Go Willster." Xander replied. Willow feeling more than slightly uncomfortable tried to change the subject.
"Where's Cordelia?" she asked softly. "Visiting Harmony in the hospital. We were all gonna stop there after school. Wanna come with?"
"I don't know." "Don't worry. She'll be alright. Dr. Green said she might be awake in a few days."
"Yea. Then we can ask Harm about Angelus." Xander added.
Eep! No. That would not be good. Harmony would tell them that she saw her and Angelus walking down the street looking very couple-y like and then…
"No!"
"No what?" Xander asked.
"Will you okay?" Buffy added. "You seem, tense." Oz said with more than a note of concern in his voice. "No I'm not tense. It's just that I can't train tonight. I have way to much homework to catch up on."
"Oookay. Will's there are more important things in this life than homework. Like staying alive." Buffy informed her.
"And chocolate." Xander said.
"Of course." Oz agreed.
"Yea I know but…" "You really should try and sort out your priorities." Giles said as he came up to the gang. They all blinked and starred at him for a moment. "What?" he asked as he grabbed a chair and sat next to them. "G-man, have you been watching Harry Potter again?" Xander asked. "No." he replied defensively. "And do stop calling me that."
"Yes you have!" Xander yelled back.
"I most certainly have not. That movie is a mockery of all that is witchcraft and true wizardry." "Your jealous of Professor Dumble-Door aren't you?" Oz said flatly.
"Yes."
Buffy rolled her eyes.
"Giles please tell Willow that she *needs* to train with us. To hone her skills." "I do think it would be in her best interest-" "Told 'ya so!" "but," he continued, "your studies are important. And Angelus's main target is you Buffy. It's really up to Willow."
All eyes turned upon the shy hacker who was sitting in her chair. She looked up at them sadly. She was so wracked with guilt and she was just about to tell them all another lie.
"Homework. But, I will train with you guys. Promise. Tomorrow maybe." With a sad, half-hearted smile Willow got up and left the cafeteria.
"That was strange." Buffy commented.
"Well Willow always has been committed to her studies-" "No she's just been kind of wiggy ever since Harm got attacked." Xander interrupted.
"I think she thinks it's her fault somehow. Like there's something she could've done." Oz said remembering the red heads statement at the hospital.
"Oh dear." Giles said.
"You think there's something she's not telling us?" Xander asked.
"It is quite possible. Angelus is a master of trickery and mind games." Giles told him.
"Wills is smarter than that. If he had done something to her, she would've said something. Wouldn't she?" Buffy asked as a look of horror crossed her face.
"I suppose. Maybe you all should try talking to her. Just in case." Giles suggested. "Can do G-m…er Giles."
~~~~~~~~~
Angelus awoke with a heavy sigh. He looked around his room sleepily and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he sparred a glance to the side of his bed. But there was no one there.
"Only a dream." he whispered. Another dream he thought. Another dream about his…Willow. He got up with a growl. He walked into the middle of the factory and saw Drusilla sitting on the cement floor with her dolls all around her.
"Daddy's awake. Is he here to play with princess." "No." he said walking around her. She sighed and looked up at him with innocent eyes.
"Daddy's found a new Princess. A new Precious. Hasn't he?" "Yes I have Drusilla my dear. Can you tell me about Precious?"
She laughed softly and held her doll up to her ear.
"Miss Edith says, you hurt her." "What? I did no such…" he stopped. Why should he care if he hurt some little girl. But no matter how much he tried to hide it, he did care for her. "Such guilt. Her soul is screaming. She's afraid. But not afraid. Confused and alone. Daddy wants to protect his little tree."
Angelus stormed away. He had never meant to hurt her. But what was she afraid of? Der he thought calmly. He had attacked that girl. She was afraid for her friends but not for herself. Okay he got that. Alone because she couldn't tell anyone, and confused about her feelings. And she felt guilty because she thought it was her fault that girl got hurt and why hadn't he thought of any of this before he almost drained her in the last friggin chapter! He walked into his room and slammed the door.
Drusilla sat, rocking back gently back and fourth.
"Daddy is here to say. The stars say it's so," with a sad smile she added, "To protect his precious."
~~~~~~~~~
Hey. So the song I put in here is called Figure 8, by Trust Company (an amazing band which I do not own.) But the chapter is called The Fear. Which also happens to be a song by Trust Company. Does that make any sense? Oh and if you would like to hear any of the songs which I highly, highly, recommend go to www.trustcompanyband.com. Ain't I full of good suggestions!
~~~~~~~~~~
Willow pushed horridly past the hospital doors.
Oh god oh god oh god oh god…
She was still in her night shirt. She had only stopped to throw on some baggy jeans, a coat and some sneakers. She had taken her parents car. Well, they had actually bought it for her but she never really used it. She saw her friends sitting in a waiting room. Tugging her jacket closer around her, she ran over to them.
"Xander. Oh my God what, what happened?" Willow asked as she ran up to her best friend. He stood up slowly. After tossing a worried glance to Cordelia he placed a hand on his friends arm and led her to the other side of the waiting room. "Harmony was…" "Attacked by Angelus I know. Buffy told me on the phone. What? How? Where did you find her?" she managed to ask. "We were patrolling. Then we heard a scream and decided to check it out. Then we saw him. He had her gripped by the neck pushed up against a tree. He took a lot of blood Wills. But, they say she's gonna be alirght." "Oh…my gosh."
Willow glanced over at the waiting area. She noticed Cordelia sitting on one of the couches. Oh Oz is here she thought. And he looks so worried. Well I mean, I think that's his worried look. It actually kind of reminds me of his regular look. Like how his serious voice and his sarcastic voice kind of sound the same and…
"Buffy." she heard Xander say. "Will. You came." Buffy said as she came up to them. "Of, of course I came. I mean…how is she? What-what happened?"
Willow tried to listen to what Buffy was saying but her mind kept wandering back to earlier that evening. Angelus had been in her room. She had told him that she was tired and he just left her alone. Let her drift blissfully into an ignorant sleep. And now her selfishness had almost cost another life.
She shook her head. She couldn't blame herself. Not now. Buffy needed her to be strong. It was *not* her fault that Angelus attacked Harmony. I mean he probably would've done it anyway if we hadn't have ran into her that night.
But it was her fault. Arrgh she thought. Moral deliberation later. Deal with threat of big bad now.
"Hey. How's Cordelia?" Buffy asked. Willow turned to see that Oz had now joined their Scooby pow-wow.
"She's well, really freaked. I mean her and Harmony were actually really close and the fact that Angelus attacked her…" "I know. But my question is why did her attacked her in the first place?" Buffy wondered aloud.
"Well he is a homicidal maniac now Buff. He's not the guy you knew." "Yea. But when we saved her, he seemed more than just a little upset. Like he had another reason for killing her other than just to get to me."
Willow cringed as a searing pain of guilt when through her. This really was her fault. Buffy's words did nothing but confirm that. Was this what it felt like for Angel? When he remembered all the deaths he had caused. No wonder he brooded so much.
"Maybe he didn't know that she was our friend. Maybe he just saw her and thought 'hey I'm hungry!' Or you know. Whatever it is vampires think when they see something that they want to eat." she muttered slowly.
"I don't think so. It was just to much of a coincidence. He'd never pass up a chance to hurt me." Buffy said.
"Yea. I think I have to go with Buff on this one." "But why her. Why not one of…" she stopped not wanting to build anymore tension.
Oh God. Now she was lying to them? She knew why Angelus attacked Harmony. He wasn't trying to hurt Buffy. He was trying to hurt her. A wave of anger replaced her guilt. Not anger with the dark vampire, but with herself. How could she have been so stupid? It was because of her that a girl was almost killed. Maybe if she had just stayed home that first night. Maybe, maybe…maybe she would be dead herself she thought bitterly.
"Guy's. I know…" Wait. She couldn't tell them. Angelus had warned her not to tell any one. Last time she disobeyed him, he ended up meeting the girl he had just put into a coma.
"Yea?" Oz asked seeing a look of panic on her face.
"Nothing. Let's just go see if Harmony's okay."
Xander agreed and went over to take Cordelias hand in his. He gave her a few words of comfort and led her over to where the group stood.
~~~~~~~~~
"Dr. Green?" Cordelia asked.
"Yes?" said a man as he turned away from the nurses. He was tall, wearing green scrubs and had black hair. Almost like Angelus. Desperate to get the vampire out of her head she blurted out, "How is she? Is she awake? Can we see her yet?" "She's fine. She did however lose a fair amount of blood. No she's not awake and she may not be for a while. Now you say this was all gang related?" he asked turning towards the blond.
"What! Harmony would never…" Cordelia almost screamed. Xander squeezed her hand before she could finish the statement. "I mean yea. Gang related."
Cordelia went to see her first. And took Xander and Buffy in with her as her moral support.
"You okay?" "I'm fine Oz really." Willow said making her way back to waiting room. She sat down on the end of one of the couches. It wasn't all that comfortable but she wasn't to concerned about that. Her mind kept re-playing Angelus's visit. What could she have done? Could she have really *done* anything. She knew he fed. Knew he killed. But tried not to think about it. It helped keep her fear to a minimum. But now she was very afraid.
"You don't look fine." Oz said as he took the seat across from her.
"Resolve face Oz. I'm good."
"You don't have to be afraid to talk to me Will."
"It's just that. She didn't deserve…"
"What?" "It should've been me." she mumbled. She hadn't even realized she'd said anything or that he had even heard her until he took her small hands in his own.
"Willow. Don't blame yourself. There's nothing you could've done to stop it. It's not like you introduced them or anything."
Unshed tears began to sting in her eyes. She knew that he didn't mean it. But she had introduced them. And then she had told Angelus how much she hated her. But no matter how much Harmony had tormented her she didn't deserve to die.
"I have to go. It's late and my parent's will worry and..I've gotta go." She got up and quickly began to walk away.
"I'll see you at school tomorrow?" he yelled. She merely turned and shrugged before running out of the hospital.
~~~~~~~~~~~
She found herself driving by Angelus' apartment. No she reminded herself. Angel's old apartment. She turned up the volume on the radio and tried to drown out her thoughts of guilt. Xander had let her borrow his Trust Company cd and now she was just losing herself in the music.
*See that face from across the room and I can feel you're nothing show your fear its not hard to see intentions pale its blinding
Stop stop from the place ive been no good for the shape im in im slow to the race you win you wanna take me out stop stop with your face off in my space and the wicked descend no taste for the place im in you need to stop stop
I am all you need to know and im everywhere you go no one can save you now when it all comes around I am everything you see and im what you'll never be no one can save you now when it all comes around *
She shuddered. Song hit's a little to close to home. She mentally scolded herself. No. There are people who can save me. I *am* not alone in this.
But she was. She couldn't tell anyone. Or they would die. Just like countless other people had. Just like Harmony almost had tonight. She skipped to the next song and sighed. God she hated this. She hated Angelus.
Didn't she?
Of course she did! Why wouldn't she. Evil vampire who almost killed one of your…err…people you knew. The fact that he had been sometimes gentle or caring with her couldn't change that. Or that he could be charming and intelligent and he was kind of handsome. Wait? Where did those thoughts come from. Obviously from a very not good place in the back of my mind. She chalked it all up to savvier sleep deprivation and teenage hormones. Yep. That's it. She just needed to go home and get about 48 hours of sleep. She'd be fine.
She groaned. The sun would be up soon. School. Then home. Then Angelus. No. School. Then home. Then sleep. Screw Angelus. She was going to get some well deserved rest. So there!
~~~~~~~~
Okay. So school, home, Angelus, then sleep. Yea she could handle that. Only a little tiny training lesson though. Oh and homework. School, home, Angelus, homework, sleep. But can't really forget about shower. And she did need to tidy up her room.
"Stop it!" she whispered quietly to herself.
"You okay Wills? You been kind of, edgy all morning." Xander asked his best friend as he took a seat next to her at the lunch table.
"Just trying to plan my evening. Got lot's to do." she replied.
"Whatever it is you should cancel. You're training with me and Giles tonight." "What!"
Buffy, Xander, Oz and some other students looked at her strangely. She began to blush furiously. "I mean um, what?"
"Look, after last nights attack on Harmony, well. He could be coming for any of us. So I talked about it with Giles and we decided that you all might want to take a few self defense lessons. No more books. It's time for some action."
"Books?" Oz asked.
"Yep. Our little Willow's been reading up on how to fight the big bad. She dusted three vamps the other night!"
"Go Willster." Xander replied. Willow feeling more than slightly uncomfortable tried to change the subject.
"Where's Cordelia?" she asked softly. "Visiting Harmony in the hospital. We were all gonna stop there after school. Wanna come with?"
"I don't know." "Don't worry. She'll be alright. Dr. Green said she might be awake in a few days."
"Yea. Then we can ask Harm about Angelus." Xander added.
Eep! No. That would not be good. Harmony would tell them that she saw her and Angelus walking down the street looking very couple-y like and then…
"No!"
"No what?" Xander asked.
"Will you okay?" Buffy added. "You seem, tense." Oz said with more than a note of concern in his voice. "No I'm not tense. It's just that I can't train tonight. I have way to much homework to catch up on."
"Oookay. Will's there are more important things in this life than homework. Like staying alive." Buffy informed her.
"And chocolate." Xander said.
"Of course." Oz agreed.
"Yea I know but…" "You really should try and sort out your priorities." Giles said as he came up to the gang. They all blinked and starred at him for a moment. "What?" he asked as he grabbed a chair and sat next to them. "G-man, have you been watching Harry Potter again?" Xander asked. "No." he replied defensively. "And do stop calling me that."
"Yes you have!" Xander yelled back.
"I most certainly have not. That movie is a mockery of all that is witchcraft and true wizardry." "Your jealous of Professor Dumble-Door aren't you?" Oz said flatly.
"Yes."
Buffy rolled her eyes.
"Giles please tell Willow that she *needs* to train with us. To hone her skills." "I do think it would be in her best interest-" "Told 'ya so!" "but," he continued, "your studies are important. And Angelus's main target is you Buffy. It's really up to Willow."
All eyes turned upon the shy hacker who was sitting in her chair. She looked up at them sadly. She was so wracked with guilt and she was just about to tell them all another lie.
"Homework. But, I will train with you guys. Promise. Tomorrow maybe." With a sad, half-hearted smile Willow got up and left the cafeteria.
"That was strange." Buffy commented.
"Well Willow always has been committed to her studies-" "No she's just been kind of wiggy ever since Harm got attacked." Xander interrupted.
"I think she thinks it's her fault somehow. Like there's something she could've done." Oz said remembering the red heads statement at the hospital.
"Oh dear." Giles said.
"You think there's something she's not telling us?" Xander asked.
"It is quite possible. Angelus is a master of trickery and mind games." Giles told him.
"Wills is smarter than that. If he had done something to her, she would've said something. Wouldn't she?" Buffy asked as a look of horror crossed her face.
"I suppose. Maybe you all should try talking to her. Just in case." Giles suggested. "Can do G-m…er Giles."
~~~~~~~~~
Angelus awoke with a heavy sigh. He looked around his room sleepily and closed his eyes. When he opened them again, he sparred a glance to the side of his bed. But there was no one there.
"Only a dream." he whispered. Another dream he thought. Another dream about his…Willow. He got up with a growl. He walked into the middle of the factory and saw Drusilla sitting on the cement floor with her dolls all around her.
"Daddy's awake. Is he here to play with princess." "No." he said walking around her. She sighed and looked up at him with innocent eyes.
"Daddy's found a new Princess. A new Precious. Hasn't he?" "Yes I have Drusilla my dear. Can you tell me about Precious?"
She laughed softly and held her doll up to her ear.
"Miss Edith says, you hurt her." "What? I did no such…" he stopped. Why should he care if he hurt some little girl. But no matter how much he tried to hide it, he did care for her. "Such guilt. Her soul is screaming. She's afraid. But not afraid. Confused and alone. Daddy wants to protect his little tree."
Angelus stormed away. He had never meant to hurt her. But what was she afraid of? Der he thought calmly. He had attacked that girl. She was afraid for her friends but not for herself. Okay he got that. Alone because she couldn't tell anyone, and confused about her feelings. And she felt guilty because she thought it was her fault that girl got hurt and why hadn't he thought of any of this before he almost drained her in the last friggin chapter! He walked into his room and slammed the door.
Drusilla sat, rocking back gently back and fourth.
"Daddy is here to say. The stars say it's so," with a sad smile she added, "To protect his precious."
~~~~~~~~~
Hey. So the song I put in here is called Figure 8, by Trust Company (an amazing band which I do not own.) But the chapter is called The Fear. Which also happens to be a song by Trust Company. Does that make any sense? Oh and if you would like to hear any of the songs which I highly, highly, recommend go to www.trustcompanyband.com. Ain't I full of good suggestions!