Disclaimer:

Duckie: Hi all!

Noodlez: And welcome to our--

Duckie: --FISRT!--

Noodlez: --Fanfic!

Duckie: Now comes the part where we remind you that we are poor lost little souls who own nothing.

*Noodlez whips out tin can*

Noodlez: Please donate something to our Harry Potterneediness!

Duckie: Any character will do!

Noodlez: As long as it's Sirius!

*Duckie stares at Noodlez*

Noodlez: *pause, sigh* Or Ron

Duckie: *blushes* yes

Noodlez: NOW! ON WITH THE FIC!

*Fanfare begins playing, curtains rise*

Duckie: WAIT!

*Everything freezes*

Noodlez: What?!

Duckie: Did we tell them that we don't own Harry Potter?

Noodlez: Well, yea! That is the whole point of a Disclaimer

*Cusrtains and music start up again*

Duckie: HOLD IT!

*Once again, everything stops*

Noodlez: What NOW?!

Duckie: Did we remind them that J.K. Rowling is the rightful owner of Harry and his world?

Noodlez: I believe you just did, Duckie, m'dear

*Music and curtains resume*

Noodlez: WAIT!

*Everything pauses, once again, pushing the beginning of the story further and further down the page*

Duckie (and the now impatient readers): WHAT IS IT?!

Noodlez: Did I have pancakes for breakfastor was it waffles?

*Duckie hits Noodlez with a mallet, Custais rise (ALL THE WAY THIS TIME!) and fanfare reaches it's climax*

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Welcome, ladies and gentleman, to a Harry Potter fan fiction written by two crazed fan girls (one crazier than the other). Allow me to introduce you to Noodlez. Noodlez is a crazy, hyper, blond girl with not much common sense. In fact, if asked whether she would prefer muffins or crumpets with her tea, she would probably say "The difference between sea-monkeys and green beans is that if given the choice of meats on the menu the monkeys would promptly answer Shiz to the fiz, Mr. Kweeky!'" or something along the lines of thatit is hard to map such a simple mind. Now, let me introduce you to Duckie. Duckie is the smart(er) girl of the two, but it's not hard to be smarter than Noodlez. Duckie has her common sense, but she usually forgets about it and doeswhatever it is that Duckie sees fit to be done at the moment. She is also hyper and crazy, but with a milder case of it (yea, blonds have more funnyah! Well, now I guess youre wonderingDuckie has blackish-brownish hairbut enough about appearances)and she knows how to avoid the wrath of HermioneNow! On to the story!

Noodlez and Duckie were having a perfectly ordinary argument. Well, ordinary for themDuckie had just told Noodlez how "dreadfully boring" the Lord of the Rings books were, and Noodlez could not stand for that! Being an avid fan of the LOTR series, Noodlez immediately transformed into her demon form (or ratherGodzilla form for those of you who have no experience with the rage of and anime fan). She knew just where to hit Duckie where it hurt. First, yell for HARRY POTTER to come save "Dear ole Duckie", next, cause great shock by knocking the broom-straddled Harry out of the air. Duckie screamed in horror, then paled as Noodlez picked up Ron Weasley out of seemingly nowhere. Noodlez brought Ron up to her huge (yes, bigger than normal) mouth and threatened to bite his head off if Duckie didn't take the LOTR comment back. Duckie did it in a heartbeat, Noodlez grinded her teeth together and glared at Ron who fainted. Noodlez placed him on the ground beside Duckie (who fretted over him immediately), but now she was bored. Then, a blond boy jumped out from behind a boulder and began dancing around singing "Ickle weasel was scared!" Noodlez and Duckie's eyes met as they both realized it was none other than Draco Malfoy. Noodlez picked up the little prat and bit his head off, tossing the body off into the distance. Our story begins a few days later

Harry Potter and the Obsessed Fan Girls Who
Are "Slightly" Off Their Rockers

Chapter One:


An owl flies through the open window of Noodlez's house, drops a letter on Noodlez's keyboard, and flies away.

"OOOOOOOOOHHH!" squealed Noodlez. She tore open letter...paused as she read...went pale, then threw it on the floor and began screaming in despair. "NOOOO!! I'm being taken to Azkaban for eating Draco's head!"

Dementors appear out of the floor and closet and drag Noodlez away to prison...but Noodlez knows she can't go insane...she's too far past the borderline of sanity already, so what WILL happen?...Then, Noodlez remembered the Dementors are bad kissers and she struggled to escape.

"HEEEEEELLLLLLLPPPPPP!!" The Dementors drag Noodlez into a boat and take her away to the magical prison (you knowwhen you say it like thatit doesn't sound very scary at alllol). She is pulled along and thrown into a prison cell.

"LEMME GO! LEMME GO LEMME GO LEMME GO!" Noodlez ran to the iron-barred door and gripped it tightly. She banged her head against it repeatedly, eventually knocking herself out (hahaha, I'm just like that, ok?!)

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[scene: Duckie is sitting at home, playing chess with herself and winning! (surprise surprise) Suddenly, a snowy owl flies through the window and lands on Duckie's chess game]

(A/n: Anything that begins with scene:' is written by Duckiethe other stuff is by Noodlezjust thought I'd clear that up!)

"Hi, Hedwig!" said Duckie, restoring her chess game with her wand. "Do you have a letter from Ron?" she added hopefully.

Hedwig bit Duckie to remind her that Hermione had Ron and to stop dreaming. Duckie chuckled at herself and read the letter. It read :

DUCKIE!!!! I'M STUCK WITH BAD KISSERS AT AZKABAN!!! SAVE ME!!! I BE IN PADFOOT'S CELL! AND BRING PEPTOBIZMALL! TUMMY STILL UPSET FROM MALFOY!

LUV, NOODLEZ.


"Oh my goodness!" exclaimed Duckie. "We must save Noodlez! To the Batcave!"

*crazy superhero music*

Duckie attempts to fly but can't. Hedwig bites Duckie again.

"Okay, okay, Hogwarts is a much better idea than the Batcave," admitted Duckie. "But my Nimbus is in the shop! Go get Fawkes and tell him to bring me there."

Fawkes flies through the window because he sensed he was needed and Duckie and Hedwig begin journey to Hogwarts.

"DON'T WORRY, NOODLEZ!" shouted the Duck. "I'M COMING!!!" Meanwhile, back in Azkaban.....

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I love cliffies!
Review and we shall update!