Chapter Four:

"PUDDING!"

Noodlez removed the hat, stood as if to join a table...then stopped, blinking confusedly. She turned back to the hat which was staring back at her looking pleased with itself.

"Pudding...?" Noodlez inquired, very confused.

"PUDDING?!" Harry, Hermione, and Duckie shouted.

"Pudding..." moaned Ron. "Man I'm-"

"WE KNOW!" shouted Hermione, causing Duckie to glare.

Dumbledore stood and addressed the Sorting Hat, "Why have you decided this girl belongs in...'pudding'?"

"Well," replied the Sorting Hat, "her mind is composed of pudding...and it was rather hard to decide where to place her due to all the clutter of posters of a rather...strange looking fellow..."

Noodlez reddened with rage, Duckie banged her head on the table.

"Oh no....Oh no! Oh no! Oh no!" grumbled Duckie. "He's just insulted Joel from Good Charlotte..."

"Who?" asked Hermione, Ron, and Harry.

"Don't ask...but here's the rules: #1...don't ever say 'freak' while in the presence of Noodlez as it while cause her to go into a rage. #2...never EVER bad mouth Joel--"

"But who IS he?!" the three cried.

Duckie shook her head and pointed back to the front of the Hall where Noodlez was glaring at the Hat.

"See what happens..." muttered Duckie.

Noodlez charged at the Hat, threw it on the floor and kicked it across the room. She then pulled an object from her pocket and slammed it on the stool.

"BEHOLD!!" she shouted to the entirety of the people in the hall. "THE SORTING POP-TART!"

Hermione gaped at Noodlez. Harry looked utterly confused. Duckie looked embarassed, and Ron--

"Pop-Tart...ooooooooooohhhh...." he moaned.

"Uhm...excuse me..." said Dumbledore to Noodlez. "I think we shall place you in Gryfindor due to your ...uhm................ because you...er...just sit down." He smiled.

Noodlez shrugged and went to sit between Duckie and George.

"Hi!" said George cheerfully.

"yyyyyyyyyyyo!" replied Noodlez without capital letters.

George laughed and they all turned to look at Dumbledore.

"Welcome, welcome, new students! I suppose I could give a speech right now, as would be expected for most new beginnings here at Hogwarts...but I have also noticed the great hunger which Mr. Weasley is suffering from" -Ron turned scarlet- "so we shall eat!"

The plates magically became piled high with...

"FINALLY I GET MY PANCAKES!!"

Everyone in the hall looked over at the Gryfindor table where Noodlez was overjoyed to have finally gotten her pancakes from someone. Lee Jordan leaned over to George and whispered,

"I think 'Loony' Luna Lovegood might find a friend in this one, she might..."

George shook his head, "Nuh-uh! She could prove pretty useful...duncha think?"

Back in the common room...

Ron sighed happilly, his belly full. Duckie sat in a comfy armchair opposite Ron, staring dreamilly at him...much to the dislike of Hermione. Harry was trying to finish homework from stupid crazy Professor Trelawny...and Noodlez was nowhere to be found...

"Hey," said Hermione, "where's Noodlez anyway?"

The others looked around.

"And Fred and George are gone too..." noticed Ron.

Duckie jumped from her chair, "THAT CANT BE GOOD!"

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[scene: itz the same you ding dong! i can't change it in the middle of a conversation! jeez la Weasleys..........]

"Do you think it would be safe to go to bed and see if they are in the Great Hall in the morning?" asked Hermione tentatively.

"No way!!!" shouted Duckie. "Do you WANT them to die?"

"Die?!" shouted Harry, Ron, and Hermione nervously.

"Yeah, have you seen Noodlez after she goes through a bag of Oreos?" said Duckie obviously. "She goes insane. Which is fun at a sleepover at 3 in the morning but not at her first night at Hogwarts. This is so unlike me to suggest but, lets go find them!"

The four friends (who only met a day or two ago, by the way) set off quickly to go to find Noodlez and the twins. But just as they were about to leave the portrait hole......

"Hedwig!" shouted Harry. "What is it?"

Hedwig flies in and hands Harry an important letter. He rips it open and goes from a shade of peach, to magenta, to green, to plaid

"What is it, Harry?" asked Ron.

"And why is your face plaid?" asked Duckie curiously. "You're a Brit not a Scott!"

"Sometimes it does that when he gets really worried," explained Ron.

"Funny," said Duckie, "J.K. Rowling never mentioned it before."

"No, Harry asked her to leave out the part about his funny skin," said Ron. "Why do you think she said on national television that Harry has nice skin?"

"Oh yeah........."

"Stop this pointless discussion," said Hermione irritably. "Harry, what is it?"

"It's Noodlez," said Harry nervously. "Fred and George have taken her to the bottom of the lake to meet the giant squid. They swam back up to the top and they thought she was following but she wasn't there. Come to think of it I really don't know why they sent Hedwig....they're still alive aren't they? Ha ha ha...."

"Oh my God! Noodlez!" shouted Hermione. "We have to go save her!"

"Again?!" whined Ron and Harry.

"YES!!!!" hollered Hermione and Duckie.

"Why? She'll find her way back up. Besides, Duckie's still here..." said Ron with a grin.

"Because if she doesn't get Oreos in an hour then she'll die of C.D. -- Cookie Deprivation!" explained Duckie, whipping out her wand and heading for the portrait hole with Hermione right behind her.

"Alright, alright, we're coming," said Ron, who's hunger had been replaced by sleepiness.

So the four of them (Ron about to doze off) walked out onto the grounds and out to the lake.

"Okay," said Hermione. "I'll perform the bubble-head charm on you, so you can breathe under the water."

First she performed the charm on the boys, who waded into the water and couldn't hear the girls.

"I just want to say," said Duckie quickly, "Ron is still yours, and you don't have to worry about that."

Hermione sighs and smiles , "You just saved yourself from drowning," said Hermione. "I wasn't going to perform the charm right on you so it'd look like an accident and I could have Ron."

"You'd have done that?" asked Duckie, about to cry.

"No," said Hermione laughing. "But it'd have been a good idea had I thought of it earlier! Just kidding my friend, you know I love ya!"

She performed the charm as Duckie wipes away happy tears. She performed the charm for Hermione before everyone began the journey to the bottom of the lake (da da dummmmm!!!!!!!)

*scary Jaws music playing in background*

"Where's that music coming from?" mouthed Duckie, for you can't talk underwater.

"I don't know but it can't be good!" mouthed Hermione back.

"Look out!!!!!" mouthed Harry. "GRINDYLOWS AT 12 O'CLOCK!"

"Can't go on....any....longer........." mouthed Ron hopelessly. "Must.......sleep............."

Suddenly, Ron falls asleep right there in the water and a Grindylow pulls him down into the weeds

"RON!!!!!!!!!!!!" everyone shouted, forgetting they couldn't be heard.

Now they had two of their friends to save......

Meanwhile.........Noodlez wasn't have such a bad time after all....................