MacGyver and Mr. Bean:
Chapter 1: Legends Unite
Bean awakes to the sound of someone pounding on the door. He glances at Teddy, his eyes full of lust, but realizing pleasure has to wait, he must answer the obnoxious pounding. Upon opening the door, a large black man dressed as a pimp immediately punches him in the stomach and screams "Is Kobe Bryant here?" Bean replies with a smile "Mmmmm?" As suddenly as he appears, the man is gone. Beans shrugs his shoulders as he fantasizes about what he is going to do with Teddy.
Meanwhile in his home town of Boise Idaho, Macgyver sits patiently as he tallies up the scores of the little miss nursery school pageant.
"God I love my life!" Macgyver thinks to himself As he notices the boil on his toe needs medical treatment. "Winston Macgyver?"
"Yes?"
"Do you have the final vote?" the large black man dressed as a pimp asks.
"No I haven't tallied them up yet." The black man immediately lunged at Macgyver, punching him square in the stomach. As he asks "Is Kobe Bryant here?" Macgyver smiles sheepishly and responds with a "Mmmmm?" The man grabs the beauty queen crown and as he is about to exit, he stops and takes the bouquet of roses and runs out the door.
"No not the roses!" Macgyver shouts. Something seems quite familiar about all this.
"You know you're my most reliable source of British intelligence concerning the crown jewels. It was either you or Ozzy Osbourne, but I believe you to be more reliable" Macgyver whispers into the phone. "Mmmmph?" Bean agrees.
"We must find the large black man dressed as a pimp with a large bouquet of roses looking for Kobe Bryant." "Mmmmph" Bean Replies.
"I plan to hitch hike to England, I will meet you in the Ice skating rink outside of Liverpool at 4:00 am tommorow, by the way its couples night at the ice rink, so we will pretend to be together for the 4 dollar discount."
"Mmmmmph" Bean smiles as he can hardly wait for the endless possibilities of tomorrow's encounter
The hillbilly looks down at Macgyvers leather shorts and says "Winston huh? You got a pretty mouth, but what kind of name is Winston?"
Macgyver nervously replies "Its Winston Churchill Macgyver the third, its British, my second cousin Moesha named me because my mother slept around a lot and didn't know who my father was, and since Winston Churchill was always my mothers butlers favorite politician, she decided I should be named Winston, her second choice was Ernest Borgnine Macgyver."
"Shut the hell up already nancy boy"
"yes sir, I'm sorry sir..."
After five minutes of dead silence, Macgyver askes, "Does this car take unleaded gas?"
"No boy, now shut the hell up!"
"Do you use Premium or just regular unleaded?"
"Look boy I've had enough of your shit, get the hell out of my car!" The man throws the door open and easily pushes Macgyver's 130 pound frame out the door, on to the curb. Macgyver begs "Please sir don't leave me in a bad neighborhood like this!"
Bean arrives at 3am, Bean looks at his watch. Although he cannot read his didgital watch, Bean is sure he's early..He daydreams about the situation about to unfold. Unaware of the large black man dressed as a pimp skating by him slowly, his purple velvet robe dragging behind him. Bean thinks to himself "Mmmmph?" as he pulls a piece of lint out of his pocket and puts it back in his other pocket. Meanwhile a whistle is heard, Macgyver is also early to the rink.
He notices two large black men dressed as pimps skating on opposite ends of the ice, skating rapidly towards Bean. "Look out Bean! Theres two large black men dressed as pimps coming towards you!" Bean shouts "Mmmmph?" in acknowledgment as both large black men dressed as pimps punch him in the stomach at the same time. A sharp pain echoes through Beans body as he shouts his only response "Mmmmmph!?" As both large black men dressed as pimps shout "Is Kobe Bryant here?!"
Macgyver chases the large black men dressed as pimps, but realizes he's only wearing one skate. The two large black men turn around suddenly and punch Macgyver in the stomach at the same time. Macgyver stumbles in pain as he wonders to himself "Did that hillbilly use gas in his car and if so, was it premium?"
Chapter 1: Legends Unite
Bean awakes to the sound of someone pounding on the door. He glances at Teddy, his eyes full of lust, but realizing pleasure has to wait, he must answer the obnoxious pounding. Upon opening the door, a large black man dressed as a pimp immediately punches him in the stomach and screams "Is Kobe Bryant here?" Bean replies with a smile "Mmmmm?" As suddenly as he appears, the man is gone. Beans shrugs his shoulders as he fantasizes about what he is going to do with Teddy.
Meanwhile in his home town of Boise Idaho, Macgyver sits patiently as he tallies up the scores of the little miss nursery school pageant.
"God I love my life!" Macgyver thinks to himself As he notices the boil on his toe needs medical treatment. "Winston Macgyver?"
"Yes?"
"Do you have the final vote?" the large black man dressed as a pimp asks.
"No I haven't tallied them up yet." The black man immediately lunged at Macgyver, punching him square in the stomach. As he asks "Is Kobe Bryant here?" Macgyver smiles sheepishly and responds with a "Mmmmm?" The man grabs the beauty queen crown and as he is about to exit, he stops and takes the bouquet of roses and runs out the door.
"No not the roses!" Macgyver shouts. Something seems quite familiar about all this.
"You know you're my most reliable source of British intelligence concerning the crown jewels. It was either you or Ozzy Osbourne, but I believe you to be more reliable" Macgyver whispers into the phone. "Mmmmph?" Bean agrees.
"We must find the large black man dressed as a pimp with a large bouquet of roses looking for Kobe Bryant." "Mmmmph" Bean Replies.
"I plan to hitch hike to England, I will meet you in the Ice skating rink outside of Liverpool at 4:00 am tommorow, by the way its couples night at the ice rink, so we will pretend to be together for the 4 dollar discount."
"Mmmmmph" Bean smiles as he can hardly wait for the endless possibilities of tomorrow's encounter
The hillbilly looks down at Macgyvers leather shorts and says "Winston huh? You got a pretty mouth, but what kind of name is Winston?"
Macgyver nervously replies "Its Winston Churchill Macgyver the third, its British, my second cousin Moesha named me because my mother slept around a lot and didn't know who my father was, and since Winston Churchill was always my mothers butlers favorite politician, she decided I should be named Winston, her second choice was Ernest Borgnine Macgyver."
"Shut the hell up already nancy boy"
"yes sir, I'm sorry sir..."
After five minutes of dead silence, Macgyver askes, "Does this car take unleaded gas?"
"No boy, now shut the hell up!"
"Do you use Premium or just regular unleaded?"
"Look boy I've had enough of your shit, get the hell out of my car!" The man throws the door open and easily pushes Macgyver's 130 pound frame out the door, on to the curb. Macgyver begs "Please sir don't leave me in a bad neighborhood like this!"
Bean arrives at 3am, Bean looks at his watch. Although he cannot read his didgital watch, Bean is sure he's early..He daydreams about the situation about to unfold. Unaware of the large black man dressed as a pimp skating by him slowly, his purple velvet robe dragging behind him. Bean thinks to himself "Mmmmph?" as he pulls a piece of lint out of his pocket and puts it back in his other pocket. Meanwhile a whistle is heard, Macgyver is also early to the rink.
He notices two large black men dressed as pimps skating on opposite ends of the ice, skating rapidly towards Bean. "Look out Bean! Theres two large black men dressed as pimps coming towards you!" Bean shouts "Mmmmph?" in acknowledgment as both large black men dressed as pimps punch him in the stomach at the same time. A sharp pain echoes through Beans body as he shouts his only response "Mmmmmph!?" As both large black men dressed as pimps shout "Is Kobe Bryant here?!"
Macgyver chases the large black men dressed as pimps, but realizes he's only wearing one skate. The two large black men turn around suddenly and punch Macgyver in the stomach at the same time. Macgyver stumbles in pain as he wonders to himself "Did that hillbilly use gas in his car and if so, was it premium?"