~
And I, I can't believe
I can't believe all the travesty
Surrounding me, I , I want to flee
I want to flee from everything
In front of me
-Staind
~
I miss the chick and the duck. They were the coolest. They didn't judge me, and most of the time they didn't even seem to hear what I was blabbing on about when I talked, but on some level, I know that they understood. The duck would quack in the right spots.
Animals aren't like people. They don't interuppt your thoughts to give you 'advice'.
"But Joe- I really think-"
"Come on man, that's stupid-"
"Joeeyy, don't think like that.."
No annoying comments in between sentences, just a little *quack* here and there to let me know that they were listening and that was fine with me.
But of course I no longer have the chick and the duck. Life had to be cruel to me and take my own shrinks away.
I sit in my apartment now; they're still all at the coffee shop probably. Chumming it up with eachother and sharing little stories about their childhood - because of course, they all basically grew up together. And I'm just Joey. Just the room mate.
I still can't blame anybody but myself though. Sure, I have a book full of billions of women's phone numbers and I'm sure none of them would hesitate in dropping their plans to 'wash their hair' to come over to keep me company. I don't want that anymore. I've had that for years. I'm getting older, I know, I know, I've already said that, but time is tickin'. Maybe I need to be in the magical love city London...
After the Rachel thing, it was the last straw. I actually found out what love was. It wasn't boobies and 'Joey charm'. And of course I was so sure that everything would work out because everything usually worked out for me in that department. Women didn't turn me down; that's just the way it was. *Was* being the key word here. Rachel turned me down. She didn't return my feelings.
What a slap in the face! A big reality check. I discovered then, that I will not always get what I want. I could end up alone, it is entirely possible at this point. I have learned to accept it
Food. I need some food. I open my refrigerator to discover half a loaf of bread and a pile of luncheon meat that is funky looking. Funky smelling too. Forget that plan.
What to do.. what to do.. I pace my floor.
Chandler bursts into our - I mean, my - apartment moments later and catching me pacing. I stop and look up; he looks excited.
"Monica got another promotion!" He says excitedly and jumps around a little bit.
*Another* promotion? Don't get me wrong, I am happy for her.. She deserves it.. But when will I get a decent 'solid' break?
"Hey, that's great," I cross my arms forcing a smile.
"We're all going to dinner to celebrate," he states now, a permanent smile still plastered to his face.
Dinner? Dinner usually meant at some big fancy restaurant where they served Fish.. and Lobster, Lobster stuffed fish, with wine that cost about a billion dollars a glass. It puts the last 20 in my pocket to shame.
"Uhhh well I already had.. plans.." I stammer and lie, rubbing the back of my neck, hating to sound like an asshole for not being excited enough.
"Come on man, it's for Mon.." he says and crosses his own arms. I'm not sure whether he's angry or wondering what the hell is up. Probably both.
"Yeah, well.. I'm happy for her, don't get me wrong," Think Joey think. "I made these plans.. a week ago.." I want a hole in the floor to open up and take me away. I am such a crappy liar.
He looks at me still wondering what plans could be so important, because I am the king of spontanaity. Joey Tribbiani make actual 'plans'? He nods, none the less and starts to retreat back towards the door, a little unsure still.
I cross my arms again just waiting for him to leave, not knowing what else I should say, or if I should say anything at all.
He turns back to me once more before leaving, "Hey Joe, you okay?" he asks seriously.
"Oh Yeahhh of course I'm okay. I've got a lady friend coming over, and you know.. you know.." I smile even though I'm immediately back to the man- whore look and I cough. Maybe I shouldn't have said that. But I've been saying that for so long now, that I know it's believable and it gets them off my back. When of course all I do is hide up in my room doing nothing. With my awesome 20 bucks. Maybe I could buy a bucket of chicken. Get the "usual". They practically named a meal after me down there. Something to be proud of?
Chandler takes that as the truth and leaves my apartment back to his to share the news that the "7th wheel" won't be coming along on this one.
I collapse onto a stool right beside the counter. Now I wait for them to leave. All 6 of them and their little happy relationships.
Barf.
**
And I, I can't believe
I can't believe all the travesty
Surrounding me, I , I want to flee
I want to flee from everything
In front of me
-Staind
~
I miss the chick and the duck. They were the coolest. They didn't judge me, and most of the time they didn't even seem to hear what I was blabbing on about when I talked, but on some level, I know that they understood. The duck would quack in the right spots.
Animals aren't like people. They don't interuppt your thoughts to give you 'advice'.
"But Joe- I really think-"
"Come on man, that's stupid-"
"Joeeyy, don't think like that.."
No annoying comments in between sentences, just a little *quack* here and there to let me know that they were listening and that was fine with me.
But of course I no longer have the chick and the duck. Life had to be cruel to me and take my own shrinks away.
I sit in my apartment now; they're still all at the coffee shop probably. Chumming it up with eachother and sharing little stories about their childhood - because of course, they all basically grew up together. And I'm just Joey. Just the room mate.
I still can't blame anybody but myself though. Sure, I have a book full of billions of women's phone numbers and I'm sure none of them would hesitate in dropping their plans to 'wash their hair' to come over to keep me company. I don't want that anymore. I've had that for years. I'm getting older, I know, I know, I've already said that, but time is tickin'. Maybe I need to be in the magical love city London...
After the Rachel thing, it was the last straw. I actually found out what love was. It wasn't boobies and 'Joey charm'. And of course I was so sure that everything would work out because everything usually worked out for me in that department. Women didn't turn me down; that's just the way it was. *Was* being the key word here. Rachel turned me down. She didn't return my feelings.
What a slap in the face! A big reality check. I discovered then, that I will not always get what I want. I could end up alone, it is entirely possible at this point. I have learned to accept it
Food. I need some food. I open my refrigerator to discover half a loaf of bread and a pile of luncheon meat that is funky looking. Funky smelling too. Forget that plan.
What to do.. what to do.. I pace my floor.
Chandler bursts into our - I mean, my - apartment moments later and catching me pacing. I stop and look up; he looks excited.
"Monica got another promotion!" He says excitedly and jumps around a little bit.
*Another* promotion? Don't get me wrong, I am happy for her.. She deserves it.. But when will I get a decent 'solid' break?
"Hey, that's great," I cross my arms forcing a smile.
"We're all going to dinner to celebrate," he states now, a permanent smile still plastered to his face.
Dinner? Dinner usually meant at some big fancy restaurant where they served Fish.. and Lobster, Lobster stuffed fish, with wine that cost about a billion dollars a glass. It puts the last 20 in my pocket to shame.
"Uhhh well I already had.. plans.." I stammer and lie, rubbing the back of my neck, hating to sound like an asshole for not being excited enough.
"Come on man, it's for Mon.." he says and crosses his own arms. I'm not sure whether he's angry or wondering what the hell is up. Probably both.
"Yeah, well.. I'm happy for her, don't get me wrong," Think Joey think. "I made these plans.. a week ago.." I want a hole in the floor to open up and take me away. I am such a crappy liar.
He looks at me still wondering what plans could be so important, because I am the king of spontanaity. Joey Tribbiani make actual 'plans'? He nods, none the less and starts to retreat back towards the door, a little unsure still.
I cross my arms again just waiting for him to leave, not knowing what else I should say, or if I should say anything at all.
He turns back to me once more before leaving, "Hey Joe, you okay?" he asks seriously.
"Oh Yeahhh of course I'm okay. I've got a lady friend coming over, and you know.. you know.." I smile even though I'm immediately back to the man- whore look and I cough. Maybe I shouldn't have said that. But I've been saying that for so long now, that I know it's believable and it gets them off my back. When of course all I do is hide up in my room doing nothing. With my awesome 20 bucks. Maybe I could buy a bucket of chicken. Get the "usual". They practically named a meal after me down there. Something to be proud of?
Chandler takes that as the truth and leaves my apartment back to his to share the news that the "7th wheel" won't be coming along on this one.
I collapse onto a stool right beside the counter. Now I wait for them to leave. All 6 of them and their little happy relationships.
Barf.
**