Chapter 2: Legends Reunite
Billy Bob Jethro Johnson, or the hillbilly as he was known, drove down the desolate road, looking for hitchhikers. He thought to himself "I wonder if that asshole ever made it to that loudmouthed British fellow he was trying to find, huh, premium gas, what a prick, of course I use premium in my 62 Ford pickup"
"I reckon this truck woulda died by now had I not used premium."
"Asshole!"
As they were enjoying their ice cream sundae, Macgyver barks at Bean
"What the hell did you say to those two large black men dressed as pimps and why did they hit me in the stomach?"
Bean replied with a solitary "Mmmmmph?"
Macgyver suddenly notices Bean, still wearing the skates from over 3 hours ago. Macgyver notices Beans exceptionally large feet, and hands, curiously wondering if the feet match the meat. "Why are you still wearing those skates?" Macgyver questioned.
"Bean?"
"Bean?!"
"Wake up Bean!"
"Mmmph?!"
"Mmph"
Bean looks down curiously at Macgyvers hands, and then glances at Macgyvers extremely large feet, and curiously wonders "Mmm Mmm Mmm!"
"Ok we know these two large black men dressed as pimps punched us and seem to be looking for Kobe Bryant"
"Mmmph Hmmph"
"And we also know they are after you and I, for some reason"
"We must find Kobe Bryant, I feel only with his help will we be able to get the crown and roses back from the large black men dressed as pimps and kill them for their thievery. Our only problem is I have never heard of Kobe Bryant, I wonder where we can find him."
"Mmmph well that's easy, Kobe Bryant plays basketball for the Los Angeles Lakers as a left guard, he has won the MVP award four times, he is a six time all-star, and he has won three championships with the team. He averages 24.6 points, 8 rebounds, 9 assists, and 2.4 steals a game. And he's quite a charmer with the ladies, apparently a woman so in love actually accused him of rape, just to be near him. But you know, you can't rape the willing, and that's all I have to say about Kobe Bryant."
Macgyver Exclaims "That's extraordinary Bean! How did you know all that?"
"Mmmph?"
"Oh Bean, you have a little chocolate on the side of your face."
"No, no the other side of your face Bean"
"Now how do we get tickets to the Lakers game?"
"Bean?"
"Dammit Bean wake the hell up"
"Bean!"
"Mmmph?"
Bean pulls two tickets out of his pocket.
"What are those Bean?"
"Mmmph" with that Bean hands Macgyver the tickets.
"Oh perfect these are for the game that happens to be tonight within walking distance! They are playing an exhibition game tonight only here in England! Even though the season ended four months ago! Nothing about this adds up at all, but oh well"
The score is 97-52 with the British Beatles leading the L.A. Lakers. With the Beatles pounding the Lakers, as the Beatles fight song "Helter Skelter" plays in the background during halftime.
Macgyver yells "stop eating so much damn popcorn you idiot!"
"Mmmph!"
"We are here to find Kobe Bryant, not watch the game! He should be easy to spot, he is a tall athletic colored man, he should be easy to find"
Bean continues to eat popcorn as the players re-enter the arena, "Mmmph" Bean notices that all the players have very large hands and feet, he smiles as he day dreams. As drool slides down the front of Beans mouth, Macgyver looks at Bean, and playfully shakes his head while grinning.
"Now seriously Bean, keep your eyes open for Kobe Bryant, once we spot him we will grab him and split, and besides, i'm not a Beatles fan. There he is!"
"Mmmmph!?"
"Grab him Bean!"
Bean dashes swiftly across the court at Kobe, he then grabs him.
"No don't grab him there, damnit Bean!"
Kobe, looking shocked, clenches his fist and punches Bean in the stomach.
"Bean are you ok?"
"Mmmph!"
Bean falls to the floor gasping "Mmmph!"
Kobe quickly rushes at Macgyver shouting "You bitch I'll kick both your asses!"
Macgyver shouts "No please don't hit me in the stomach goddamnit it sore"
Kobe clenches his fist and punches him right in the stomach with all his might.
"Bastard..."
Macgyver fell to the ground, hearing right before he passed out "You media are always harassing me!"
Meanwhile....
Bean, lying on the floor, recuperating, stares in amazement at the players large hands and feet. Macgyver jumps up with a burst of energy, ignoring the pain in his stomach, shouts "Cmon Bean get up and lets get Kobe!"
"Mmmph!"
Kobe quickly runs out of the building, Bean and Macgyver chase him far behind. Kobe stops halfway before reaching an alleyway and ties one of his shoes. Macgyver and Bean give chase and now are within 100 yards. Kobe takes out a cigar and lights it, and quickly turns down the alley.
"Do you think he's down that alley Bean?"
"Mmmph!"
"Oh right, we just saw him run down there, good point."
Macgyver and Bean dash down the alleyway at Kobe, Kobe opens a door, and slams it shut in Beans face.
"Help me open the door Bean!"
"Mmmph!"
"Oh man its locked... Well at least we tried, we will get him eventually..."
"Mmmph"
Billy Bob Jethro Johnson, or the hillbilly as he was known, drove down the desolate road, looking for hitchhikers. He thought to himself "I wonder if that asshole ever made it to that loudmouthed British fellow he was trying to find, huh, premium gas, what a prick, of course I use premium in my 62 Ford pickup"
"I reckon this truck woulda died by now had I not used premium."
"Asshole!"
As they were enjoying their ice cream sundae, Macgyver barks at Bean
"What the hell did you say to those two large black men dressed as pimps and why did they hit me in the stomach?"
Bean replied with a solitary "Mmmmmph?"
Macgyver suddenly notices Bean, still wearing the skates from over 3 hours ago. Macgyver notices Beans exceptionally large feet, and hands, curiously wondering if the feet match the meat. "Why are you still wearing those skates?" Macgyver questioned.
"Bean?"
"Bean?!"
"Wake up Bean!"
"Mmmph?!"
"Mmph"
Bean looks down curiously at Macgyvers hands, and then glances at Macgyvers extremely large feet, and curiously wonders "Mmm Mmm Mmm!"
"Ok we know these two large black men dressed as pimps punched us and seem to be looking for Kobe Bryant"
"Mmmph Hmmph"
"And we also know they are after you and I, for some reason"
"We must find Kobe Bryant, I feel only with his help will we be able to get the crown and roses back from the large black men dressed as pimps and kill them for their thievery. Our only problem is I have never heard of Kobe Bryant, I wonder where we can find him."
"Mmmph well that's easy, Kobe Bryant plays basketball for the Los Angeles Lakers as a left guard, he has won the MVP award four times, he is a six time all-star, and he has won three championships with the team. He averages 24.6 points, 8 rebounds, 9 assists, and 2.4 steals a game. And he's quite a charmer with the ladies, apparently a woman so in love actually accused him of rape, just to be near him. But you know, you can't rape the willing, and that's all I have to say about Kobe Bryant."
Macgyver Exclaims "That's extraordinary Bean! How did you know all that?"
"Mmmph?"
"Oh Bean, you have a little chocolate on the side of your face."
"No, no the other side of your face Bean"
"Now how do we get tickets to the Lakers game?"
"Bean?"
"Dammit Bean wake the hell up"
"Bean!"
"Mmmph?"
Bean pulls two tickets out of his pocket.
"What are those Bean?"
"Mmmph" with that Bean hands Macgyver the tickets.
"Oh perfect these are for the game that happens to be tonight within walking distance! They are playing an exhibition game tonight only here in England! Even though the season ended four months ago! Nothing about this adds up at all, but oh well"
The score is 97-52 with the British Beatles leading the L.A. Lakers. With the Beatles pounding the Lakers, as the Beatles fight song "Helter Skelter" plays in the background during halftime.
Macgyver yells "stop eating so much damn popcorn you idiot!"
"Mmmph!"
"We are here to find Kobe Bryant, not watch the game! He should be easy to spot, he is a tall athletic colored man, he should be easy to find"
Bean continues to eat popcorn as the players re-enter the arena, "Mmmph" Bean notices that all the players have very large hands and feet, he smiles as he day dreams. As drool slides down the front of Beans mouth, Macgyver looks at Bean, and playfully shakes his head while grinning.
"Now seriously Bean, keep your eyes open for Kobe Bryant, once we spot him we will grab him and split, and besides, i'm not a Beatles fan. There he is!"
"Mmmmph!?"
"Grab him Bean!"
Bean dashes swiftly across the court at Kobe, he then grabs him.
"No don't grab him there, damnit Bean!"
Kobe, looking shocked, clenches his fist and punches Bean in the stomach.
"Bean are you ok?"
"Mmmph!"
Bean falls to the floor gasping "Mmmph!"
Kobe quickly rushes at Macgyver shouting "You bitch I'll kick both your asses!"
Macgyver shouts "No please don't hit me in the stomach goddamnit it sore"
Kobe clenches his fist and punches him right in the stomach with all his might.
"Bastard..."
Macgyver fell to the ground, hearing right before he passed out "You media are always harassing me!"
Meanwhile....
Bean, lying on the floor, recuperating, stares in amazement at the players large hands and feet. Macgyver jumps up with a burst of energy, ignoring the pain in his stomach, shouts "Cmon Bean get up and lets get Kobe!"
"Mmmph!"
Kobe quickly runs out of the building, Bean and Macgyver chase him far behind. Kobe stops halfway before reaching an alleyway and ties one of his shoes. Macgyver and Bean give chase and now are within 100 yards. Kobe takes out a cigar and lights it, and quickly turns down the alley.
"Do you think he's down that alley Bean?"
"Mmmph!"
"Oh right, we just saw him run down there, good point."
Macgyver and Bean dash down the alleyway at Kobe, Kobe opens a door, and slams it shut in Beans face.
"Help me open the door Bean!"
"Mmmph!"
"Oh man its locked... Well at least we tried, we will get him eventually..."
"Mmmph"