**Bangs head repeatedly against the wall** Bad authoress, bad authoress!!

Okay, after that Dobby-inspired self-punishment, here's the update! Sorry for the delay, I guess there's only so long you can flee from school stuff...**grimaces** Plus I was wondering whether I should change anything, but that's aside the point. Here's the story though!

Thanks to.
T.A.O.: Hmm 'Sorting Clock' was pretty random, I admit, but better sounding than my original idea of 'Sorting Helm'. The cuckoo was supposed to come in later on, and besides, Mokuba is kind of like the 'cuckoo' in Gryffindor, don't you think?
Nope, Shadi's not the DADAhowever he will pop up later on in regard to the DADA teacher
Asher Tye: Difference is, Harry belonged in Gryffindor, and his Slytherin side came from contact with Voldemort (I think, I'm no expert) Yeah, the password's from that book!! **beams** Yes, I'm childish.
The Mad Tortoise: The Enchanted Forest Chronicles do rock! Lolokay, will outgrow them ASAPor maybe not
TobyKikami: My take on it is, I hate the fact that Hufflepuff is so stepped on. And yeah, you've hit on something; not all Slytherins stink. **hint hint?**
crimson89: Wow, thanks~ Talk about an enthusiastic reviewer ^________^ That is a tempting idea, to have Hogwarts girls realize Krum isn't the best looking guy around **cough** but I haven't written up to that yetrest assured it's lurking somewhere there though!

and last but definitely not least, thanks also to Curtis Zidane Ziraa, Tomgirl27, kaylie and Kate Crawford~

WARNING: OCs and SPOILERS!! OCs and SPOILERS!! Am beginning to sound like a broken record

Disclaimer: **waves white flag at the lawyers** I give in! I don't own 'em! Neither of them!

Muggle Studies

Ch.9 - Settling In

It wasn't as bad as Mokuba had feared at all. Oddly enough, his biggest problem had little to do with getting to and from classes (it helped when all your friends were veterans at finding their way around), or that the material would be too hard for him to handle, or the teachers, even. It was getting used to the professors calling him "Mr. Kaiba". Usually, "Mr. Kaiba" meant Kaiba Seto and not the younger Kaiba, and so Mokuba would respond only when someone poked him in the back, kicked his chair, or if the said professor stuck his/her face right in front of his. As expected, this did not leave a very good impression of him on his teachers, who either thought he had trouble learning (Professor Flitwick kindly spoke slowly for Mokuba's benefit) or that he was impertinent (Professor Sprout glared beadily at him for the entire first week).

Potions was easily Mokuba's best subject, being similar to the Oriental medicine-brewing he'd had to do last year. He'd been rather dreading Snape's class after hearing Harry and Ron's horror stories about the biased, sadistic teacher, but since they had Potions with Ravenclaw, Snape didn't have much of a chance to be biased (Mokuba chalked this down to the absence of Harry). He figured that Snape wouldn't jump down his throat if he did everything right and kept to the back of the room. Unfortunately, if there was a Harry equivalent among the Gryffindor second-years, it was Alan. Snape seemed to bounce off all his potential attacks on Harry off Mokuba's friend, who assured him it was traditional for the Potions master to pick one Gryffindor out of every year that he taught for especial torture, and he was proud to be the chosen sacrificial lamb. And then Euan would give him a mock punch and tell him to quit the melodramatic business already, would he?

Charms went pretty well; Flitwick slowing down gave Mokuba a chance to see where everyone was. He also discovered he was downright awful at Transfiguration for some reason, and McGonagall cut her new transfer student no slack. Herbology with the Slytherins was little short of a nightmare, seeing as Professor Sprout already had him marked as a 'cheeky, impudent' student and Petyr and his troupe of pals did little to improve the class. Mokuba and his friends found learning about the harmful side effects of the greenhouse plants much easier after having experienced and used them firsthand. Preferably on their Slytherin rivals.

Defense Against Dark Arts was a huge let-down, more so because this was the class Hogwarts was famous for, and the one Mokuba had been so looking forward to. Apparently, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named in a turban, a blond handsome fake, a werewolf, an Auror-who-wasn't-really-an-Auror, and a coughing lady that started her own Nazi regime in that order had been the previous DADA teachers and the second years were really psyched to see what kind of horror Dumbledore would hire next.

Were they in for a surprise.

Professor Wendell looked and sounded like the Binns equivalent - the key characteristic both teachers shared being 'sleep-inducing'. The guy looked like a perfectly normal grampa: potbelly, bushy eyebrows and tuft of white hair poking out of his ridiculously out-dated hat. He even taught the lessons as if he were reading fairy tales to a gaggle of grandkids. You almost expected him to start the lesson with "Once upon a time, there was a banshee". The only thing vaguely interesting about him was his strange habit of bringing his own teapot and teacup to class. Every five minutes, without fail (Mokuba timed him), he would pause, pour himself a cuppa, down it all in one smooth, grampa-ish sip, replace the cup and resume teaching. His friends figured it was some kind of alcoholic drink, or as the Muggle-borns said, he must be addicted to something in that teapot. Mokuba could've sworn he was sitting back in a Muggle classroom. The only difference was that Wendell didn't believe in homework. Muggle teachers did. Wendell was instantly popular.

According to Ron, Wendell was weird because he was the first normal DADA teacher in 6 years, due to what he dubbed the "Harry Potter Curse". This didn't stop Mokuba and friends from signing up immediately for the DA, wanting some hands-on learning.

The three - Mokuba, Euan and Alan - ran into somewhat of a homework problem a mere month into the semester, starting from when Ginny and Hermione began refusing to go over every single bit of homework with them ("They caught on to my 'play dumb' act", Euan muttered apologetically.). This snag was solved when Alan suggested they divvy up the assignments, each do a third and copy the rest. The enthusiastic Euan took the solution a step further and soon Mokuba found himself in a homework army consisting of most of his year. At its peak, the homework pool had over 35 members and it fell apart soon after, due to the difficulty of dividing an assignment into 1/35ths. An outraged Hermione in her role as a prefect also had something to do with it, and the three decided to keep their homework pool to themselves.

_____________________

Alan, Euan, and Mokuba were now near inseparable, and one fall morning found them in the Great hall, munching on toast and discussing the Quidditch match of yesterday (Hufflepuff vs. Slytherin) animatedly.

"I swear, that Slytherin seeker pulls so many foul stunts I wonder why they're still letting him play," complained Euan.

Alan polished his glasses and said thoughtfully, "Of course he paid his way in. D'you really think they'd let Goldilocks fly otherwise?"

"Pity the Princess Petyr didn't do the same," Mokuba said, generously slopping marmalade onto his toast, "I kinda wanted him to play - and watch him fall off his broom or something."

"Yeah, that Bubotuber pus in your stuff was really low," Euan put in, "But then you'd want to play. You'd want to be the one knocking him off."

"It's Gryffindor vs. Ravenclaw next," Alan sighed. "I hate it when Chip and I disagree."

A flutter of wings distracted Mokuba and he look up to see a school owl and Hedwig both waiting for him to take his letters.

"Thanks, both of you," he said, offering them both some orange juice. "Tell Harry I said thanks for the loan, okay Hedwig?" The snowy owl bobbed her head once and went to greet her owner before heading back to the Owlery.

"Who're they from? If you don't mind my asking," Euan inquired.

Alan snorted. "It's obvious you don't mind."

"My brother and a friend of mine, back in Japan," Mokuba said absently, opening the one that was written on Kaiba Corp. stationary. It was covered in his brother's precise, neat Japanese and Mokuba laughed at the image the first sentence evoked.

I don't care how quaint these people are, the bird refused to leave me alone until I wrote you a reply. What kind of backwards world is this academy of yours in anyway? This better not happen when I'm in the middle of a conference.

I doubt you'd want to know how Kaiba Corp. is doing. I'm beginning to see why you wanted to study abroad; school here is an immeasurable waste of my time, and the students and teachers alike are unqualified, blithering idiots. I suppose you'd be happy to know Yugi and that makeinu friend of his are in my class again. Yugi has been rather annoying of late. It's pathetic when even the makeinu gets the message that I don't want to socialize.
Take care of yourself and don't worry about me. I've given you ample money to keep yourself out of trouble.

Seto

"Blimey, he doesn't say much, does he?" Alan squinted at the formal, succinct letter. Mokuba just smiled and folded the letter away. To get his nii-sama, one had to read between the lines. He picked up the other, slightly messier letter scribbled on some sort of colorful stationary.

Mokuba-kun,
Hope you're having fun at your school! England must be wonderful. Jounouchi-kun and everyone is in my class - even your brother - and I'm glad I know most everybody. Bakura-kun, remember him? the quiet one with long white hair? He switched out of our school a week into the semester, Jou said his archaeologist father picked him up. My other self is relieved that he no longer has to deal with the tomb robber, but I kind of miss him, both of him.
I've been doing my best to get Kaiba-kun involved in some of the fun things the gang and I have been planning, but with no success. The only times he's willing to join us are when my other self challenges him to a duel or somethingI think he misses you pretty bad. Otherwise he seems okayYou know, I never noticed his strange reaction to birds flying overhead before
But enough about me, how've you been doing? What kind of classes do you have, they've got to be more interesting than the ones here. I love the owl that delivered the letter. The other me had a bit of a heart attack when he saw a dark shape pummeling my window the night it arrived. I'm glad you've found new friends and people to duel with too! Maybe you could invite them over during the summer.
The other me, Anzu, Jou and Honda all say hi, and I also sent you some rice sweets - do you have any of those where you are?
Don't let bullies and mean teachers get you down!
Your friend,

Yugi

P.S. Is there such a thing as overloading an owl? I'm wondering how big of a package I can send you

"Hey Mokuba, what's this?" Euan was shaking a flat box Hedwig had dropped off along with the letter. Mokuba opened the box and split the Japanese sweets with his friends.

Poor Yugi was trying so hard to be his brother's keeper and Seto was doing his best to make it all the more difficult for him. He laughed then, suddenly realizing he was the only one who saw both sides of the situation.

"Mokuba. Knuckle-head. Snap out of it," Alan said, taking the box away from him. "Sugar makes you waayy too hyper."

"Say, can you write your friends to send more of these things?" Euan added, swiping the box in turn from Alan.

______________

Jounouchi waited until Kaiba had left the game shop before rounding on his shorter friend. "There something going on here, Yugi. I mean, you already go out of your way to be nice to that stuck-up snob, but this year you've just been" The tall blonde gestured around for lack of the appropriate adjective. "Yugi, you invited him to your Gramps birthday party for crying out loud!"

Yugi put away his treasured deck carefully in the box that had once held the pieces of the Millennium Puzzle. "I just thought he might be lonely and all, with only his company and stuff"

His taller friend ran his hand through his hair in frustration. "He doesn't want to be your friend, my friend, or anybody else's friend for that matter. Thank kami-sama he didn't even bother to come. He literally gave your Gramps a heart attack the last time he was here - why are you doing this?" He narrowed his eyes. "Come to think of it, what do you mean by 'with only his company'? Where's Mokuba? And weren't you writing a letter to him just a few days ago?"

"I wonder why he didn't pull a Blue-Eyes Ultimate on me." Yugi mused over the latest duel with Kaiba, apparently oblivious to the increasingly agitated Jounouchi. "He always gets a Blue-Eyes or three when he wants them."

"Yeah, that toosince when did the - the, uh, 'other you' ever challenged Kaiba to a duel? As I remember it, it's usually the other way around. Kaiba'd host an entire tournament just to get at you -you two. Now? Both of you have been challenging him on a weekly basis. If that doesn't sound wrong then tell me what is!"

- I have to agree, Yami commented from his soul room. I can't believe you talked me into that.

You have no right to complain, his hikari retorted, I wasn't the only one who promised Mokuba.

- You owe our friend an explanation then. Look at him, he thinks Kaiba's been blackmailing you or bullying you.

Yugi sighed. "Jounouchi-kun, if I tell you this, can you promise not to tell anyone - and I mean anyone - else? Not to Anzu, not to Honda, not even to your sister. Can you?"

Jou stared. "He is threatening you - blackmailing you - why is your- your Yami? just letting him?"

"He's not. I would not if he were. But he's not." Yami materialized beside Jounouchi, leaning against the counter. "He's probably as in the dark as you are."

The blond nearly jumped out of his skin. "Man, don't do thatthis 'other Yugi' business takes some time to get used to, you know? Sheesh" When he recovered, he said, "I promise. Cross my heart and all that. Now spill."

Yugi told him about how he and Yami promised to watch over Kaiba for Mokuba, since the younger Kaiba was now studying abroad in England, conveniently leaving out the bit about the school of magic. They figured they'd explain when that time came.

Jou drummed his fingers on the counter top. "So, the bottom line is, you're babysitting that hotshot CEO for his younger brother."

Why did it always have to come to this? Yugi sighed. "Not really."
At the same time, Yami said "Yes" in a long-suffering tone.
The hikari gave up. "Alright, so we're babysitting him. I've been trying to get him to do more stuff with us because less than a month after his brother left, he's in another mess. I heard him talking on that phone of his and it definitely sounds like he's being threatened. If someone's after him, they're less-"

"Less likely to attack him if you're there? Sure...that's really going to work. Why didn't you tell me Kaiba was in trouble?" Jounouchi shook his head. "I won't tell if you let me in on the scheme."

"I only got a vague idea that Kaiba was uneasy about something. You've been keeping secrets, aibou." Yami tilted his head to look at his other self. "You didn't write this to Mokuba."

"Of course not! The last thing I want is for him to worry himself sick over thereand he's been through enough already."

Jounouchi grabbed his friend by the shoulders and gave him a little shake. "You can't save the world on your own, you know. Yami or no Yami."

Yami raised an eyebrow at this but let it slide.

"No, for situations like this, you need the grrreat Jounouchi Katsuya!"

Both Yugis sighed.

"Been watching the 'Frosted Flakes' commercial too much, haven't you"

"What? Are you implying that I'm useless? Or not grrreat enough?"

"Okay, okay, Jou-kun, just remember to keep it down, alright?"

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A/N: Yeah...another nice longish chapter...As you can see, I like keeping all the characters in here (can't figure out how to fit in the Ishtars in though!) Next chapter might be quite a bit longer in coming I'm afraid....There's an evil invention of mankind called "research papers"....'Nuff said.

~benign sadist~