SUFFOCATED LIFE

Duo staggered down the unlit street, looking like a man who had taken to the bottle. He almost toppled over from the intense pain that was shooting through his entire body like electrical shocks. His eyes constantly scanned everything around him, studying the unfamiliar shadows that seemed to be closing in on him, like predators slowly coming in for the attack. His leg gave out, causing him to fall against one of the building's rough brick walls. With his shirtsleeve he wiped away the beads of sweat that gathered on his forehead. Placing his arm against the building, he used it as a crutch and continued to hobble. His other arm applied pressure to his right leg, trying to prevent more blood from seeping out.

The dim light that broke through the darkness a few buildings down caught his attention, like a lost ship he followed the beacon of light. He slowly made his way there, biting his lower lip with each painful step he took. When he reached the building he wasn't sure whether he should smile or frown. The footsteps he heard from behind erased the thought and he quickly grabbed onto the building's door handle. Relief washed over him when he found the church door was unlocked.

He opened it a crack and poked his head inside. Seeing no one, Duo slipped into the building's dim candlelight and warmth. He closed the door and turned its large lock, keeping others from entering and sealing him inside. To either side of the door were large delicate stain glass windows. They had let the light escape, but thankfully they would prevent others from seeing in.

Duo leaned his back up against the door and looked down at his torn leg. "Dammit." He had been in the wrong place at the wrong time and had a hole the size of a gulf ball in his leg to prove it. Blood was spilling out of the wound like an overfilled glass. He had to bandage it with something quickly. He glanced around the church. It was simple, with a few rows of wooden pews and a plain alter in front of them. Large candlesticks were scattered around the room, causing lights to eerily flicker and dance over the paintings of dead people that adorned the walls.

"Alright, let's take a look around then." Duo spoke to himself to break the silence while he pushed off of the wooden door with his hands and gingerly moved to where a room appeared to come off of the main area. He grabbed one of the candles and looked into the room. It held a few boxes in it, some labeled candles, hymnals, and other items that he found useless. He moved the candle to spread its light across the other side of the room and flinched when the wax dripped down on his hand.

"Here we go." A small smile came across his face as he grabbed one of the red curtains that hung beside a small window. "This will have ta do." Pivoting on his good leg, he turned and left the room with the curtain. Placing his back against the wall outside of the room, he slid to the floor and quickly tore the fabric. He made a square pad out of it and placed it over the wound. He tore the rest of the fabric into long strips and used them to tightly wrap his leg. His eyes began to blur from the intense pain the pressure of the bandages caused. He hissed but continued to rhythmically wrap the wound, slowing the bleeding. When he was through he breathed heavily in and out while sweat trickled down the side of his face.

Leaning his head back against the wall he tried to control his breathing. The knife had gone in deep. He needed stitches. But he couldn't go anywhere for them, and there wasn't anything in the church that he could use to do it himself. "Shit." He mumbled then moaned quietly. He closed his eyes as he tried to think of what options he had available.

He jerked his head up as he felt himself begin to fade. "Dammit! I can't go to sleep." He was so tired though. His body and his mind begged for sleep. He was sure he could sleep for eternity. "No, gotta stay awake." He used the wall to help himself up. A wave of dizziness came over him causing him to slide back down to the floor. "Isn't this pathetic?" He rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands. Not letting himself give up he sighed and delicately eased himself off of the floor again. This time he kept his back up against the wall, making sure he would stay standing.

When he was positive that he wouldn't topple over, he pushed off of the wall and carefully made his way, unsteady as a child's first steps, towards the church's main door.

"Hey! What are you doing in here?!" The voice from behind had Duo turning quickly. He lost his balance and plopped to the ground. He grunted in pain as the man that had shouted reached him and heaved him up off of the cold marble floor. Duo looked into a pair of steal green eyes. They belonged to a man maybe only a few years older than himself. When his eyes scanned down a little further they widened at the sight of the white collar.

"Did you steal anything?" The young man asked impatiently. He released his hold on the teenager's shirt. "How many times have I told you boys to come to me if you need something." He paused before adding "It's a sin to steal."

Duo held back a laugh that threatened to come out when the young priest pointed his index finger at him like a mother reprimanding a young child. A sharp pain traveled through his leg and he gnawed on his lower lip, trying to hold it in. When the priest continued to stare Duo realized he hadn't responded to his question. "Uh, no. I didn't take anything." He managed a quite reply before a wave of blackness and a slight tickling sensation, like walking through cobwebs, came over him.

Surprised, the priest grabbed onto Duo's arms before he fell. For the first time he noticed how pale the boy was and saw the sweat trickling down the sides of his face. He lowered him to the ground beside a pew and looked him over. When he saw the red rags knotted around his one leg he carefully began to undo them.

Duo's eyes fluttered back open. He pushed back the fog and forced his jumbled mind to focus. When he felt someone touching him he jumped back, smacking his head against the pew. He swore as he rubbed the back of his head gingerly.

"Calm down, I just want to take a look at your leg." The teen's hand shot down to stop him. Surprised he looked at the him. He noted the clothes for the first time. Who was this kid?

"Leave it." Duo ordered as he used his hands against the floor to push himself away from the man. He grabbed a hold of the pew with one hand and used it to help hoist himself up.

"You're obviously injured. Let me help."

Duo held up his hand as a signal for him to stay back. "I'm fine." He took a few forceful steps before another wave of blackness came over him. He began to sway, light headed from the loss of blood. "Maybe I'm not." He quietly said as the priest caught him in his arms.

The first thing Duo noticed when he awoke from the veil of darkness was the warmth. The next thing he noticed was the sharp pain in his leg. Not sure exactly where he was, he ignored it and tried to keep his heart rate and breathing slow. What the hell was going on? He felt a hand on him. Just like a snake striking its victim, he quickly grabbed a hold of it. He held onto the hand tightly, threatening to crush it. When he opened his eyes and saw the pained expression of the priest he immediately let go. He sat up in the bed he found himself in and backed away.

The priest shook his hand limply. "Ow. Gees, talk about a death grip. Remind me never to play mercy with you." He smiled. Noticing that the boy, who seemed to be only a few years younger than himself, wasn't loosening up. He decided to get to the point before the kid ran out of the room. He looked like a cornered stray dog.

"I'm Father Chris. You became unconscious last night. Do you remember?"

Duo played the nights events over in his mind and shook his head yes.

"Good." He motioned to his leg. "You've got quite an injury there. I was tempted to take you to the hospital, but then opted that it might be in your best interest that I didn't. I deal with a lot of kids going against the law, so I didn't want to accidentally turn you in or something."

Duo began to let his guard down. Father Chris noticed his shoulders relaxing and inwardly sighed in relief. "Anyway, I took care of your wound as best I could. You should stay off of that leg for a while though."

Duo cleared his throat. "Thanks." He pulled the covers off of himself, fought back the urge to shiver, and looked at his leg. The pieces of curtain he used had been replaced with clean fresh bandages. Father Chris had done a good job.

He watched him examine his leg and readied himself to stop him from leaving, which he was sure his next move would be.

"Well, thanks." Duo looked at him quickly then turned away. "It's best I move on though." He began to ease himself off of the bed.

"Don't be ridiculous." He moved and blocked the door. "You're bed ridden for at least a week." He read the shock in the pale boy's face easily. "Besides, I could use the company." He stepped towards him. "Now lay back down." He lightly pushed his shoulders back towards the bed.

Unsure of what to do, Duo obeyed and silently sat down.

The two eyed each other. Father Chris was a tall slender built young man. He had piercing green eyes above a slightly crocked nose, obviously it had been broken before. His hair was loose brown curls that stopped just above the ears. He had a chiseled face that resembled an ancient statue of a Greek god. Duo couldn't believe that he was looking at a priest.

Father Chris eyed the boy sitting on the bed. His long braid of brown hair was most unusual, but so was everything else about him. His cobalt blue eyes, which at the moment had bags under them, were a big contrast to his pale skin. His attire was odd, almost matching the priest uniform that he was wearing. But besides the way he looked, he could feel that there was something different about this boy.

"So, what's your name?"

Duo hesitated, debating if he should use a fake name or not and Father Chris noticed it.

"Duo."

Father Chris smiled, revealing slight dimples. "Well it's nice to meet you Duo. I'm sure you could use something to eat, I'll be back in a few minutes." He left the room, leaving the door open behind him, intentionally not wanting the boy to feel trapped.

Duo remained seated on the bed. How the hell did this happen? He eyed the plain small room that was eerily familiar. Being in the church brought back too many memories, and unfortunately, the painful ones overtook the pleasant. He shook his head and closed his eyes, pushing it all back into the dark that he dared not enter. He laid back down on the bed, his weight sinking into the soft mattress and blankets. He couldn't get over how young Father Chris was. He couldn't be more than four years older than himself.

That could be me. I could be wearing that collar, a real one, not this white undershirt. I could have been a person of peace, not of war. He looked down at his hands. Life could've been so different. If Father Maxwell and Sister Helen had lived, I would most likely be a priest now. Sure I had my doubts in God, but for the short time I was with them, those doubts were disappearing. If anything I would have become a priest out of respect for them.

But look at me now. I have no faith in God. I wear these clothes in denial, denial that I've lost everything Father and Sister taught me. I've become a murderer. I kill without hesitation. I'm such a monster that I don't even hesitate for a brief second before I take someone's life. He sighed. I've become what Father and Sister fought so hard against. I hope they were right about God and his existence. If they were right, then that means they're in heaven now, and I'll be delivered into hell, where I belong.

Duo shook his head, ending his self pity and glanced around the plain room. His eyes focused on the old wooden cross that hung on the white wall across from him. Shaking his head again he threw his legs over the side of the bed and tore off the covers. Careful not to put weight on his right leg, he stood up and walked out of the room.

I don't belong here anymore.

When Father Chris entered the room with a bowl of steaming soup he wasn't completely surprised to see the vacant bed. He was disappointed though, he had hoped that the boy would stay for a little while. There was something about him, something in him that called out to him. He set the soup down on the small dresser across from the bed.

Well, wherever you are, may God be there with you.