Title: Adjustments
Author: Listabets
Rating: PG13 may end up R but I'm not sure
Category: Robert and Elizabeth romance
Disclaimer: I do not own Robert or Elizabeth. I'm just borrowing them for a little bit for my own amusement, and hopefully for the amusement of those reading this.
The gray light of dawn seeped through the blinds and infiltrated Elizabeth's fragile hold on sleep. Rolling over onto her left side and reaching into the empty space she was reminded, once again, of her position as a woman alone. The fabric was smooth and cool, as it had been for 15 months. Elizabeth rolled onto her back and tried to recapture her dream. There had been a man but she couldn't remember his face, and they had been debating something. The banter had been comfortable as if she was used to arguing out points with this man in her dream. Reaching back Elizabeth tried to recapture that feeling she'd had of belonging, of partnership, that had made the dream so nice. It had disappeared-along with any chance of getting back to sleep.
Elizabeth began going though the many things that had to be accomplished during the coming day. There were rounds, her surgery schedule, making sure Ella was settled with Kris, the endless reams of paperwork that now seemed to dominate her life, house hold chores-because if she didn't manage to pick up the dry-cleaning she would have to wear PJ's to work! Between the hospital, home and being a single mother she was beginning to feel constantly as if she was running on empty.
Pulling herself into a sitting position Elizabeth hugged her knees and sighed, "This is just not how I expected things to be."
Tying to shake off this vague feeling of depression she climbed out of the bed and headed for the closet in search of something decent to wear. The choice was meager but she managed to find a nice silk blouse and good trousers that looked professional but not too dressy. As Elizabeth turned to leave she absent-mindedly bushed her hand along the line of Mark's shirts still hanging on his side of the closet. Stepping into the mix of textures she breathed in deeply looking for the scent of him. All she could find was the vague smell of starch and fabric softener. Dropping her clothes onto the closet floor Elizabeth reached for Marks robe and buried her face into the terry folds searching for that elusive fragrance that smelled particularly of her husband. There was a subtle trace of his soap and aftershave but it was faded and Elizabeth wasn't too sure that she wasn't imagining it.
Elizabeth sat cross-legged on the floor of the large closet glancing around her but not really taking in what her eyes were seeing. She was focused inward on a conversation that took place over two years ago.
Romano had walked in on her in the Surgeons lounge minutes after she had discovered that Mark's tumor had returned. Elizabeth had been reeling from the shock of both the cancer returning and that Mark had not told her.
"He's known for weeks. He just didn't tell me." Elizabeth could still remember the sense of betrayal she had felt upon learning that Susan was aware of his relapse but Mark had hidden it from her-his wife.
"Well...maybe he was trying to protect you." Robert was trying to sooth Elizabeth and rationalize behavior of a man he didn't particularly like. Elizabeth was surprised by Roberts support and all of a sudden felt herself opening up to him.
"There's so much we haven't worked out. I don't think I can go through this again. I am sick and tired of being the strong one! You know...we've broken up, we've grown apart. He doesn't even expect me to be there anyway."
Elizabeth drew in a shaky breath and finally turned toward Robert and met his eyes. "I mean what and I supposed to do? Am I supposed to go back home and watch him die?"
Robert simply replied, "Yes."
Elizabeth was surprised by his response "Well I don't think I can." She stated flatly.
With his gaze never leaving her face Robert asked, "Is he your husband?"
Even two years later, sitting on the floor of her closet, Elizabeth could clearly remember her irritation at that question. The answer was obvious but Robert was clearly making a point. "Yes" Elizabeth ground out in reply.
Roberts next question got to his point swiftly and took Elizabeth's breath away. "Do you love him?"
"Yes." The truth had been right there, hidden behind the events that led to the separation, but the one thing that hadn't wavered was that she did love Mark and she had promised to be there until "Death us do part."
"Well death did part us Mark" Elizabeth stated to the rows of shirts and trousers. "It's time for me to let go of all this stuff and make some room in my life for other things."
Rating: PG13 may end up R but I'm not sure
Category: Robert and Elizabeth romance
Disclaimer: I do not own Robert or Elizabeth. I'm just borrowing them for a little bit for my own amusement, and hopefully for the amusement of those reading this.
The gray light of dawn seeped through the blinds and infiltrated Elizabeth's fragile hold on sleep. Rolling over onto her left side and reaching into the empty space she was reminded, once again, of her position as a woman alone. The fabric was smooth and cool, as it had been for 15 months. Elizabeth rolled onto her back and tried to recapture her dream. There had been a man but she couldn't remember his face, and they had been debating something. The banter had been comfortable as if she was used to arguing out points with this man in her dream. Reaching back Elizabeth tried to recapture that feeling she'd had of belonging, of partnership, that had made the dream so nice. It had disappeared-along with any chance of getting back to sleep.
Elizabeth began going though the many things that had to be accomplished during the coming day. There were rounds, her surgery schedule, making sure Ella was settled with Kris, the endless reams of paperwork that now seemed to dominate her life, house hold chores-because if she didn't manage to pick up the dry-cleaning she would have to wear PJ's to work! Between the hospital, home and being a single mother she was beginning to feel constantly as if she was running on empty.
Pulling herself into a sitting position Elizabeth hugged her knees and sighed, "This is just not how I expected things to be."
Tying to shake off this vague feeling of depression she climbed out of the bed and headed for the closet in search of something decent to wear. The choice was meager but she managed to find a nice silk blouse and good trousers that looked professional but not too dressy. As Elizabeth turned to leave she absent-mindedly bushed her hand along the line of Mark's shirts still hanging on his side of the closet. Stepping into the mix of textures she breathed in deeply looking for the scent of him. All she could find was the vague smell of starch and fabric softener. Dropping her clothes onto the closet floor Elizabeth reached for Marks robe and buried her face into the terry folds searching for that elusive fragrance that smelled particularly of her husband. There was a subtle trace of his soap and aftershave but it was faded and Elizabeth wasn't too sure that she wasn't imagining it.
Elizabeth sat cross-legged on the floor of the large closet glancing around her but not really taking in what her eyes were seeing. She was focused inward on a conversation that took place over two years ago.
Romano had walked in on her in the Surgeons lounge minutes after she had discovered that Mark's tumor had returned. Elizabeth had been reeling from the shock of both the cancer returning and that Mark had not told her.
"He's known for weeks. He just didn't tell me." Elizabeth could still remember the sense of betrayal she had felt upon learning that Susan was aware of his relapse but Mark had hidden it from her-his wife.
"Well...maybe he was trying to protect you." Robert was trying to sooth Elizabeth and rationalize behavior of a man he didn't particularly like. Elizabeth was surprised by Roberts support and all of a sudden felt herself opening up to him.
"There's so much we haven't worked out. I don't think I can go through this again. I am sick and tired of being the strong one! You know...we've broken up, we've grown apart. He doesn't even expect me to be there anyway."
Elizabeth drew in a shaky breath and finally turned toward Robert and met his eyes. "I mean what and I supposed to do? Am I supposed to go back home and watch him die?"
Robert simply replied, "Yes."
Elizabeth was surprised by his response "Well I don't think I can." She stated flatly.
With his gaze never leaving her face Robert asked, "Is he your husband?"
Even two years later, sitting on the floor of her closet, Elizabeth could clearly remember her irritation at that question. The answer was obvious but Robert was clearly making a point. "Yes" Elizabeth ground out in reply.
Roberts next question got to his point swiftly and took Elizabeth's breath away. "Do you love him?"
"Yes." The truth had been right there, hidden behind the events that led to the separation, but the one thing that hadn't wavered was that she did love Mark and she had promised to be there until "Death us do part."
"Well death did part us Mark" Elizabeth stated to the rows of shirts and trousers. "It's time for me to let go of all this stuff and make some room in my life for other things."