Chapter 6
A/N: Whoops. Forgot about this story for a while. But fear not, for I am back! You didn't honestly think I would stop did you? I will never stop. Too bad, huh? I just really need to finish this story for my own satisfaction. Flames are welcome, and my grammar sucks, but English isn't my first language as I've already told. There, now read and review damnit!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except Tiff and Sandy.
WARNING: Strange sense of humor. But I guess you've already figured that out while reading this story.
Chapter 6
They went by foot, they wanted to keep a low profile plus they were all stupid. I mean Tiff, Legolas and Faramir, what did you expact? Tiff was getting even more tired as the time passed by. She felt weary and drained, which was quite of a problem since she had to be strong. She didn't know it yet, but Legolas and Faramir both secretly concluded that it was Tiff's job to destroy Sandy. As they walked and walked, and walked, all was silent. Faramir thought this was his chance to do what fellowships always do, in his eyes.
Sing.
"When the sun was burning hot
she was such a hot fool
My name is Faramir
When I see Eowyn I drool
Sometimes, I feel scared
as though unworthy
For my wife is fucking sexy
And I am ugly and kind of dirty
Tralala...Lalala....", Faramir sung. It seemed he was off in his own little world, but he was interrupted by Legolas.
"Stop that immediately! How my ears hurt. What was that piece of sh*t! It didn't made any sense, nor was it pleasent to hear, as I've already mentioned.", he whined.
"What? That, Legolas, was pure poetry my friend. I wrote it myself. When this journey is finished I wish to write a book with all current events. I will not mention you if you won't shut up!"
"Like I need an appearance in your book. I am already legendary!"
Suddenly there was a loud bang. All three of them looked scared and Faramir clinged to Legolas while Tiff softly giggled.
"What happened?", asked a terrified Legolas.
Suddenly they all heard a loud voice. "YOUR EGO JUST EXPLODED.", it said. It was obviously the author.
"But how can that be? I thought that could never happen, I have my insecurities! Well, not really but you know what I mean!", he yelled back, desperately waiting for an answer.
But he got no answer.
Sadness filled his heart, while Faramir and Tiff both laughed at him.
"Saddistic creatures!", he said to them.
"Legolas", said Faramir between laughter "you should know that you're one to talk! I mean, you're always so arrogant. It's like people don't even matter because you're the king. And you should know by now that Elvis is the king. If you ask me, I think the fangirls not wanting you is sort of a reality check. You need to learn that we're all equal."
"Wow, that was so.. Inspiring", said Legolas. For a moment he thought about it. It was in a way, true.
"But guys, I must go on. I can get over the fact that I'm not the most popular guy anymore - eventually. Probably. Ok, maybe. But these fangirls are evil. I must send them back to where they came from."
"But.. Legolas, like, you promised me that you'd do me so I'd be cool! If I get send back, then.. Like, they'll hate me for, like, helping you!"
"It must be this way, it was meant to be.. I'm sure that in your world there are a lot of other 'hotties'. Besides, if I can't get you all, no one will. At least not in this world."
Tiff thought about if for a while and agreed. "Like, I do understand you, Legolas. And in a way, I think you're right. I don't like this climate anyway! I wanna go back to Hawaï, and, like, pursue an acting career!"
"You go girl!", said Faramir, with a sniffle.
"I agree with Faramir. Now let's head to the Misty Mountains and send those Mary Sue's back to where they came from!"
They shared a group hug and disney music started playing in the background. "Since when did we appear on a contract with Disney", asked Legolas.
"Never. But doesn't the music make you wanna cry? That's what this moment is all about. And Legolas, is it true that you have really changed? You seem a lot wiser and not so superficial."
"I guess. But it won't take long before my ego grows and I'll be wanting those fangirls again! So hurry, let's get there real soon before I change my mind!"
The Disney music abruptly stopped and after their lunch they continued their journey.
"Erm, like, guys, wouldn't this journey take us, like, forever, before we'd be at the Misty Mountains?"
"I suppose you're right, Tiff. Any suggestions?", said Legolas.
"I suggest we start running reeeeally fast!", said Faramir.
"No, stupid, that way we'd be tired even sooner!"
"Shut up, you still think more highly of yourself don't ya!"
"Guys!! We had it going on, like, a real fellowship. Like, don't ruin it now alright?", said Tiff.
"I suggest we take some horses. But where can we find those? Why didn't we take them with us in the first place?", asked Legolas.
"Because, we're stupid.", answerred Faramir.
"True", said Legolas and Tiff both.
"I like, know, guys! I'll orb us to a place nearby. Like, I can totally recharge my battery that way, before we have to battle against those evil Fangirls!"
"You sure, Tiff? I wouldn't want anything to happen to you.", said Legolas. The Disney music started playing again, only this time it was a more sappy, romantic tune.
"Would somebody stop the bloody music! Friggin' hell!", yelled Faramir.
Meanwhile, Tiff and Legolas were still gazing at each other with their big goo-goo eyes. Was it really true that they were genuinly falling in love with each other? Who knows. This story needs some twists, right, and some might say that we're running out of them.
"Don't worry, Legolas. Like, I'm sure I'll be okay if we take a short pause now and then, like, we'll go to a place nearby, like I said and then we'll defeat all those monsters and then I'll never see you again..", she rambled.
"Never say never, Tiff.", said Legolas.
"But you just said that you'd send the fangirls back to their world. Be realistic, Legolas, you'll never see each other again!", Faramir said, interrupting their romantic moment.
"Oh Faramir, why did you have to spoil our perfect little moment. I know I'll never see her again but I'd like to get laid before that happens!"
Tiff heard that, and it stabbed her heart a million times. "You know, I, like, am still standing behind you!"
"Fuck!", exclaimed Legolas.
"Hey, this fic is rated PG-13, watch your words young man.", commented Faramir.
Legolas didn't hear it, his eyes were fixed on Tiff, she seemed to run far away. Legolas' instinct got a hold of him and he ran after her, determined not to let her go. They needed her for this quest, didn't they? They'd be defeated in no time without Tiff. Besides, she was kind of sexy.
Faramir ran after Legolas, because, he had nowhere else to go. He could go home but he wanted his fellowship to succeed their quest.
"Wait up, guys!", he said.
Suddenly, a dark feeling crept all the way into the three their minds. Legolas and Tiff knew the feeling and they abruptly stopped, which caused Faramir to slam into Legolas, and they fell. Tiff still stood strong, but not for long because she fainted.
"It is as I've feared", said Legolas.
"You mean that the horde of flying donkeys have arrived, and they want to rape you?", asked Faramir.
"No! Far worse! The Pink Riders have arrived."
"Are they sexy?"
"Faramir! This is not the time to think about sex! We're about to die you idiot! And to answer your question, no, they're horrible actually!"
Two Riders arrived and Legolas held his breath.
"You two look like wannabe Nazgûls. But they've already died, together with the Dark Lord. Go back to the shadow."
"First of all, Faramir, stop stealing lines from Gandalf. Secondly, SHUT UP COMPLETELY!"
One of the Riders stepped forward.
"No one calls us wannabe's! Prepare to die, Boromir wannabe, and his fellow companions."
Faramir was very insulted by this, and a red fire seemed to glow in his eyes. He drew his sword and got ready to attack. "Prepare to die yourselves, ugly wannabe's! Pink is sooo overdone."
Legolas took his bow, but several other Riders had already gathered. Before he knew it, he felt a piercing stinging pain in his left shoulder, and his bow fell out of his hand. His sight became black, in other words, he saw nothing more and despair filled his heart....
Dun dun dun dun!!
A/N : What happens next ? Read and Review, and be sure to checkout the next chapter!
A/N: Whoops. Forgot about this story for a while. But fear not, for I am back! You didn't honestly think I would stop did you? I will never stop. Too bad, huh? I just really need to finish this story for my own satisfaction. Flames are welcome, and my grammar sucks, but English isn't my first language as I've already told. There, now read and review damnit!
Disclaimer: I don't own anything except Tiff and Sandy.
WARNING: Strange sense of humor. But I guess you've already figured that out while reading this story.
Chapter 6
They went by foot, they wanted to keep a low profile plus they were all stupid. I mean Tiff, Legolas and Faramir, what did you expact? Tiff was getting even more tired as the time passed by. She felt weary and drained, which was quite of a problem since she had to be strong. She didn't know it yet, but Legolas and Faramir both secretly concluded that it was Tiff's job to destroy Sandy. As they walked and walked, and walked, all was silent. Faramir thought this was his chance to do what fellowships always do, in his eyes.
Sing.
"When the sun was burning hot
she was such a hot fool
My name is Faramir
When I see Eowyn I drool
Sometimes, I feel scared
as though unworthy
For my wife is fucking sexy
And I am ugly and kind of dirty
Tralala...Lalala....", Faramir sung. It seemed he was off in his own little world, but he was interrupted by Legolas.
"Stop that immediately! How my ears hurt. What was that piece of sh*t! It didn't made any sense, nor was it pleasent to hear, as I've already mentioned.", he whined.
"What? That, Legolas, was pure poetry my friend. I wrote it myself. When this journey is finished I wish to write a book with all current events. I will not mention you if you won't shut up!"
"Like I need an appearance in your book. I am already legendary!"
Suddenly there was a loud bang. All three of them looked scared and Faramir clinged to Legolas while Tiff softly giggled.
"What happened?", asked a terrified Legolas.
Suddenly they all heard a loud voice. "YOUR EGO JUST EXPLODED.", it said. It was obviously the author.
"But how can that be? I thought that could never happen, I have my insecurities! Well, not really but you know what I mean!", he yelled back, desperately waiting for an answer.
But he got no answer.
Sadness filled his heart, while Faramir and Tiff both laughed at him.
"Saddistic creatures!", he said to them.
"Legolas", said Faramir between laughter "you should know that you're one to talk! I mean, you're always so arrogant. It's like people don't even matter because you're the king. And you should know by now that Elvis is the king. If you ask me, I think the fangirls not wanting you is sort of a reality check. You need to learn that we're all equal."
"Wow, that was so.. Inspiring", said Legolas. For a moment he thought about it. It was in a way, true.
"But guys, I must go on. I can get over the fact that I'm not the most popular guy anymore - eventually. Probably. Ok, maybe. But these fangirls are evil. I must send them back to where they came from."
"But.. Legolas, like, you promised me that you'd do me so I'd be cool! If I get send back, then.. Like, they'll hate me for, like, helping you!"
"It must be this way, it was meant to be.. I'm sure that in your world there are a lot of other 'hotties'. Besides, if I can't get you all, no one will. At least not in this world."
Tiff thought about if for a while and agreed. "Like, I do understand you, Legolas. And in a way, I think you're right. I don't like this climate anyway! I wanna go back to Hawaï, and, like, pursue an acting career!"
"You go girl!", said Faramir, with a sniffle.
"I agree with Faramir. Now let's head to the Misty Mountains and send those Mary Sue's back to where they came from!"
They shared a group hug and disney music started playing in the background. "Since when did we appear on a contract with Disney", asked Legolas.
"Never. But doesn't the music make you wanna cry? That's what this moment is all about. And Legolas, is it true that you have really changed? You seem a lot wiser and not so superficial."
"I guess. But it won't take long before my ego grows and I'll be wanting those fangirls again! So hurry, let's get there real soon before I change my mind!"
The Disney music abruptly stopped and after their lunch they continued their journey.
"Erm, like, guys, wouldn't this journey take us, like, forever, before we'd be at the Misty Mountains?"
"I suppose you're right, Tiff. Any suggestions?", said Legolas.
"I suggest we start running reeeeally fast!", said Faramir.
"No, stupid, that way we'd be tired even sooner!"
"Shut up, you still think more highly of yourself don't ya!"
"Guys!! We had it going on, like, a real fellowship. Like, don't ruin it now alright?", said Tiff.
"I suggest we take some horses. But where can we find those? Why didn't we take them with us in the first place?", asked Legolas.
"Because, we're stupid.", answerred Faramir.
"True", said Legolas and Tiff both.
"I like, know, guys! I'll orb us to a place nearby. Like, I can totally recharge my battery that way, before we have to battle against those evil Fangirls!"
"You sure, Tiff? I wouldn't want anything to happen to you.", said Legolas. The Disney music started playing again, only this time it was a more sappy, romantic tune.
"Would somebody stop the bloody music! Friggin' hell!", yelled Faramir.
Meanwhile, Tiff and Legolas were still gazing at each other with their big goo-goo eyes. Was it really true that they were genuinly falling in love with each other? Who knows. This story needs some twists, right, and some might say that we're running out of them.
"Don't worry, Legolas. Like, I'm sure I'll be okay if we take a short pause now and then, like, we'll go to a place nearby, like I said and then we'll defeat all those monsters and then I'll never see you again..", she rambled.
"Never say never, Tiff.", said Legolas.
"But you just said that you'd send the fangirls back to their world. Be realistic, Legolas, you'll never see each other again!", Faramir said, interrupting their romantic moment.
"Oh Faramir, why did you have to spoil our perfect little moment. I know I'll never see her again but I'd like to get laid before that happens!"
Tiff heard that, and it stabbed her heart a million times. "You know, I, like, am still standing behind you!"
"Fuck!", exclaimed Legolas.
"Hey, this fic is rated PG-13, watch your words young man.", commented Faramir.
Legolas didn't hear it, his eyes were fixed on Tiff, she seemed to run far away. Legolas' instinct got a hold of him and he ran after her, determined not to let her go. They needed her for this quest, didn't they? They'd be defeated in no time without Tiff. Besides, she was kind of sexy.
Faramir ran after Legolas, because, he had nowhere else to go. He could go home but he wanted his fellowship to succeed their quest.
"Wait up, guys!", he said.
Suddenly, a dark feeling crept all the way into the three their minds. Legolas and Tiff knew the feeling and they abruptly stopped, which caused Faramir to slam into Legolas, and they fell. Tiff still stood strong, but not for long because she fainted.
"It is as I've feared", said Legolas.
"You mean that the horde of flying donkeys have arrived, and they want to rape you?", asked Faramir.
"No! Far worse! The Pink Riders have arrived."
"Are they sexy?"
"Faramir! This is not the time to think about sex! We're about to die you idiot! And to answer your question, no, they're horrible actually!"
Two Riders arrived and Legolas held his breath.
"You two look like wannabe Nazgûls. But they've already died, together with the Dark Lord. Go back to the shadow."
"First of all, Faramir, stop stealing lines from Gandalf. Secondly, SHUT UP COMPLETELY!"
One of the Riders stepped forward.
"No one calls us wannabe's! Prepare to die, Boromir wannabe, and his fellow companions."
Faramir was very insulted by this, and a red fire seemed to glow in his eyes. He drew his sword and got ready to attack. "Prepare to die yourselves, ugly wannabe's! Pink is sooo overdone."
Legolas took his bow, but several other Riders had already gathered. Before he knew it, he felt a piercing stinging pain in his left shoulder, and his bow fell out of his hand. His sight became black, in other words, he saw nothing more and despair filled his heart....
Dun dun dun dun!!
A/N : What happens next ? Read and Review, and be sure to checkout the next chapter!