Meaningless Enterprise Story
Summary: None really, it's just one of those things that swim around in my mind until I write it down, and then mercifully, it's gone for the time being. I don't even think it's really that funny. Well, you be the judge, I simply don't care.
Genre: Gee.I wonder.
Rating: PG-13. Language of course. I'm a somewhat obscene person.
Disclaimer: Lemme guess.hmmm..*holds envelope to forehead*.uhhh..Enterprise.and the floating space-baby.*opens envelope* "Things That Don't Belong To Me!"
Captain's Log, Supplemental.wait, supplemental? Supplemental? What exactly is it supplementing? Good Lord, all these years and I've only just noticed this NOW!? What a massive load of completely illogical bullroar! Hmmm, maybe I should talk to T'pol about this. She's all into logical doo- whackies. Oh yeah, log. Let's try something else. Captain's Log, Stardate.Stardate? Why star? Why not Novadate, or Sund-- Oooh! MOONDATE!!! Oh yeah! How cool is that! Alright.uh.Captain's Log, Moondate...No, no, that doesn't sound very cool once you get it into the full phrase thingie. Alright, fine, we stick with Stardate.
What was it I was supposed to be 'logging', again? Damn..
Archer: (sits in captain's chair) Ah, loyal crew of mine, what exciting adventure do you think we'll have today?
T'pol: *shrug*
Trip: *shrug*
Hoshi: *shrug*
Reed: *shrug*
Mayweather: Shrug.
Archer: .Travis, did you just say "Shrug"?
Mayweather: Yes. Yes I did.
Archer: Yeah, okay, but why?
Mayweather: Well, I figure no one will actually look at me for my reaction, so if I said it, you may notice.
Archer: Okay.but be warned, if you do it again, you're in trouble.
Trip: Yeah, and besides, didn't you ever think we ignore you for a reason, but we just never wanted to tell you for fear of hurting your feelings?
Mayweather: Yeah, but didn't you just say it right then?
Trip: *sigh* And who's fault is THAT, eh Mayweather?
Mayweather: Oh, right. Mine. Sigh.
Archer: *whines* T'pol, he did it again!
T'pol: *Vulcan nerve pinches Travis* There. Happy?
Archer: Very.
Hoshi: *clears her throat* Um, Sir? With whatsisname out cold, who's gonna pilot the ship?
Archer: Me! *jumps into chair* WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!
*They blast off at a random direction at high warp*
Archer: Heehee.
*suddenly, the floating space-baby from 2001: A Space Odyssey drifts past the window*
Archer: ..............right. Did anyone else see that?
Trip: You betcha, Capt'n.
T'pol: Yes, Captain.
Hoshi: I believe so, Sir.
Reed: Can I blow it up?
Archer: *double take* What?
Reed: Well, Sir, it made even less sense than this whole story, and should be obliterated from every thought and dimension!
Archer: Yeah, yeah go ahead. It's not like it made much sense in the movie, either. Fire aft torpedoes!
Reed: Yessir! Aft.aft.aft.
Archer: The ass-end torpedoes, Malcolm!
Reed: RIGHT! *presses big button repeatedly*
*the space-baby deflects the arsenal with it's oddly large head*
Reed: Um, Sir, it appears one of the torpedoes has bounced back and hit one of the nacelles.
Trip: *gasp* MY BABIES! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! *runs out with one continuous shriek*
Archer: Trip! Get down there and fix it!......*crickets chirp*..Oh, right, he already left, didn't he.
T'pol: Yes.
Trip: *over comm.* Capt'n! Capt'n! It wasn't bad, the babies.erm I mean the nacelles will make it!
Archer: Yay!
*cheers all around*
Trip: *over comm* Oh, and Malcolm?
Reed: Yes, Commander?
Trip: *over comm, cold whisper* You are one dead mo'fo.
Later, in the Sickbay.
Phlox: So, how long was Ensign Mayweather on the floor, unconscious, before you thought to bring him to me?
T'pol: About 2 hours.
Phlox: 2 hours.hmm.Vulcan nerve pinch?
T'pol: Yep.
Phlox: Very nice job.
T'pol: Thank you, I try.
Summary: None really, it's just one of those things that swim around in my mind until I write it down, and then mercifully, it's gone for the time being. I don't even think it's really that funny. Well, you be the judge, I simply don't care.
Genre: Gee.I wonder.
Rating: PG-13. Language of course. I'm a somewhat obscene person.
Disclaimer: Lemme guess.hmmm..*holds envelope to forehead*.uhhh..Enterprise.and the floating space-baby.*opens envelope* "Things That Don't Belong To Me!"
Captain's Log, Supplemental.wait, supplemental? Supplemental? What exactly is it supplementing? Good Lord, all these years and I've only just noticed this NOW!? What a massive load of completely illogical bullroar! Hmmm, maybe I should talk to T'pol about this. She's all into logical doo- whackies. Oh yeah, log. Let's try something else. Captain's Log, Stardate.Stardate? Why star? Why not Novadate, or Sund-- Oooh! MOONDATE!!! Oh yeah! How cool is that! Alright.uh.Captain's Log, Moondate...No, no, that doesn't sound very cool once you get it into the full phrase thingie. Alright, fine, we stick with Stardate.
What was it I was supposed to be 'logging', again? Damn..
Archer: (sits in captain's chair) Ah, loyal crew of mine, what exciting adventure do you think we'll have today?
T'pol: *shrug*
Trip: *shrug*
Hoshi: *shrug*
Reed: *shrug*
Mayweather: Shrug.
Archer: .Travis, did you just say "Shrug"?
Mayweather: Yes. Yes I did.
Archer: Yeah, okay, but why?
Mayweather: Well, I figure no one will actually look at me for my reaction, so if I said it, you may notice.
Archer: Okay.but be warned, if you do it again, you're in trouble.
Trip: Yeah, and besides, didn't you ever think we ignore you for a reason, but we just never wanted to tell you for fear of hurting your feelings?
Mayweather: Yeah, but didn't you just say it right then?
Trip: *sigh* And who's fault is THAT, eh Mayweather?
Mayweather: Oh, right. Mine. Sigh.
Archer: *whines* T'pol, he did it again!
T'pol: *Vulcan nerve pinches Travis* There. Happy?
Archer: Very.
Hoshi: *clears her throat* Um, Sir? With whatsisname out cold, who's gonna pilot the ship?
Archer: Me! *jumps into chair* WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!
*They blast off at a random direction at high warp*
Archer: Heehee.
*suddenly, the floating space-baby from 2001: A Space Odyssey drifts past the window*
Archer: ..............right. Did anyone else see that?
Trip: You betcha, Capt'n.
T'pol: Yes, Captain.
Hoshi: I believe so, Sir.
Reed: Can I blow it up?
Archer: *double take* What?
Reed: Well, Sir, it made even less sense than this whole story, and should be obliterated from every thought and dimension!
Archer: Yeah, yeah go ahead. It's not like it made much sense in the movie, either. Fire aft torpedoes!
Reed: Yessir! Aft.aft.aft.
Archer: The ass-end torpedoes, Malcolm!
Reed: RIGHT! *presses big button repeatedly*
*the space-baby deflects the arsenal with it's oddly large head*
Reed: Um, Sir, it appears one of the torpedoes has bounced back and hit one of the nacelles.
Trip: *gasp* MY BABIES! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! *runs out with one continuous shriek*
Archer: Trip! Get down there and fix it!......*crickets chirp*..Oh, right, he already left, didn't he.
T'pol: Yes.
Trip: *over comm.* Capt'n! Capt'n! It wasn't bad, the babies.erm I mean the nacelles will make it!
Archer: Yay!
*cheers all around*
Trip: *over comm* Oh, and Malcolm?
Reed: Yes, Commander?
Trip: *over comm, cold whisper* You are one dead mo'fo.
Later, in the Sickbay.
Phlox: So, how long was Ensign Mayweather on the floor, unconscious, before you thought to bring him to me?
T'pol: About 2 hours.
Phlox: 2 hours.hmm.Vulcan nerve pinch?
T'pol: Yep.
Phlox: Very nice job.
T'pol: Thank you, I try.