Title: Somewhere In the Night 3/3
Author: Jyorraku, Josephine, Chrysa, Didi, Mara, JustVisiting, Catseye
E-Mail: For contact info, check the Linguistics Database Forum: .
Mara
Trip was going nuts.
And the worst part was, he didn't have anyone to talk to about it. Well, he had two people to talk to, but they weren't talking back.
Jon and Hoshi are definitely driving me nuts, he thought, standing at the engineering station on the bridge. It was near the end of his shift and all was well in the engines, so he'd given up any pretext of working and was watching his two friends.
Just a couple of days ago, it looked like everything was going to work out. But something happened.
Trip brooded as he watched them avoid each other, which was tough on a small bridge. Even if he had to issue an order to her, Jon wouldn't look at Hoshi, he'd look past her, around her, at her console. Hoshi was doing an amazing acting job, it almost looked like nothing was wrong. Except that she never looked at Jon, either.
Trip knew Admiral Elpers had called and Hoshi had talked to him and then Jon and Hoshi had disappeared. (Ply Travis with booze and he'd tell almost anything.) That was a good sign, right?
At dinner that night, Jon didn't say anything specific, but he definitely had the look of someone who'd gotten what he wanted.
Then suddenly, BAM! Hoshi was leaving and the next Ice Age had hit the Enterprise.
Jon, what'd you do to screw this up?
He'd tried to talk to him: at dinner, in the halls, in his quarters. All he got for his trouble was tight-lipped silence, furious glares, and finally an order to "shut up or I'll throw you in the brig."
Well, never let it be said that Charles Tucker III was a quitter. So, he tried to talk to Hoshi, catching her alone in the mess hall, late one evening.
But he got the same tight-lipped silence, same furious glares, and if she'd had the power to throw him in the brig, he'd be there for the rest of his life. She'd had to settle for "Drop it, Commander."
"Hoshi, what is going on?" He paced back and forth in front of her, trying to catch her eye.
"Ask the Captain."
He leaned on the table. "He's not talkin'."
"Then perhaps you should take that as a sign to stop asking."
"Two friends are roamin' around the ship looking like their mama just died and somebody ran over their dog and you expect me to just leave it alone?"
She looked down at the table. "Yes."
"I can't let it go," he said, starting to feel pretty angry himself.
"Why not?"
"Because I'm watching you both self-destruct and I hate it."
Something passed over her face, but he wasn't sure what. She took a moment to compose herself and looked up at him. "He will be fine once I'm off this ship, I assure you."
"But-"
"This conversation is over. Unless you'd like to pull rank and try to order me to tell you?"
I'm getting desperate enough to consider that. Trip shook his head slowly. "I've known Jon Archer a long time, and I've never seen him hurting like this before. I hope I never see it again. Whatever he did, he doesn't deserve this."
She almost spoke, but shook her head. Trip stalked out of the messhall, but he still didn't have any answers.
* * * * *
Josephine
Jonathan Archer walked into his ready room, three days after Hoshi told him she was being transferred. Trip said he had tried to talk to her, to find out why, but she kept repeating that it was better that she left.
Moving behind his desk, Jon opened a cabinet door and took out a bottle. Breaking the seal, he poured out a generous amount of the Kentucky bourbon into a glass.
Why? Why is she really going? Did I mean nothing to her?
Looks like it, Johnny boy. She sure isn't showing any sign of regret that she's leaving...
Jon rubbed his forehead at the voice. Once, I meant something. Once, I was everything she needed.
Not any more...
No, not any more.
Jon remembered the indifferent little shrug Hoshi had given after informing him she was leaving. Staring at the bottle of bourbon, he picked it up and threw it against the wall; then sat down and dropped his head into his hands.
"T'Pol to Archer."
"Archer here."
"There is a small ship approaching us."
"Any idea who?"
"No, sir."
"I'll be right there."
Striding onto the bridge, Archer looked at the ship approaching them. "Have they responded to hails?"
"No, sir."
"Open a channel."
Hoshi pushed a button. "Open, sir."
"This is Captain Archer of the starship 'Enterprise'. We are on a peaceful mission of exploration, and mean no harm."
"No response, sir."
The small ship zipped away. Archer sighed, watching it go, then turned toward his ready room.
"A larger ship approaching on long range sensors, Captain." T'Pol's voice called him back.
Standing in front of his chair, Archer waited until the second ship came up on the screen. "Still no idea who they are?"
"No, sir."
The new ship hung in front of them, not making any move. "Open a channel."
"Open, sir."
Archer repeated his hail, waiting for the ship to do something. "Mayweather, move us around them," he said after a few minutes.
As Enterprise began to move, Hoshi said, "I have something, sir. Just a moment..." A garbled alien language came up, eventually smoothing out to "You are trespassing in Bocteb space. Surrender your ship. You are trespassing in Bocteb space. Surrender your ship. You are trespass..."
"Cut it off." The alien voice stopped.
"This is Captain Archer. We are on a peaceful mission of exploration. We mean you no harm, and will leave your area of space." Turning to Travis, he continued. "Turn us around, Mr. Mayweather."
"Incoming!" Reed shouted, barely in time for the crew to grab hold of something as the ship rocked.
Something in Jonathan snapped. He was tired of being pushed around, tired of other people deciding what his life was going to be like. His father, Star Fleet, Admiral Elpers, Hoshi. And now some alien race with delusions of grandeur.
"Polarize the hull! Reed, target cannons, and fire at their engines! Ready torpedoes! I don't want to kill them, just knock them out. Travis, this is where you earn your stripes! Get us the hell out of here!" Fury and rage laced Archer's voice as he barked orders. The crew ran to fill them, wondering what had gotten into the Captain. Strapping himself into his chair, Archer continued to issue rapid-fire commands until the wounded alien ship hobbled away.
"Status report!"
"All decks reporting in, a few injuries, no casualties. No hull breaches, but a few systems are out."
"Get started on them. Travis, take us around this area. T'Pol, keep an eye out for any more of those ships." Getting up, Archer strode to the lift, leaving a shocked and silent crew behind.
* * * * *
As Malcolm picked up her duffel bag, Hoshi bit back a sob remembering that day on the bridge. That was the day that the Jonathan she loved was totally replaced with a hard, cold man that no one knew. He didn't smile anymore, or laugh; it was like he had withdrawn into himself. The entire crew was walking on eggshells.
Hoshi knew she was the reason for it; but she kept telling herself that as soon as she left everything would be fine, he would forget about her and go on to do all the great things that he was meant to.
"It's time, Hoshi." Startled, Hoshi looked up as Malcolm reached out to help her into the shuttle. Hoshi's hand shook as she grasped Malcolm's; breathing rapidly, she buckled the harness.
"You two are the most stubborn pair of jackasses I have ever known." Trip stuck his head through the door. "You're making the biggest mistake of your life, Hoshi Sato."
Closing her eyes against Trip's accusing gaze, Hoshi tried to even out her breathing. "I have to leave. I just have to."
Trip didn't say anything, only gave Hoshi a finally confused and frustrated glance. He stepped away as the shuttle door closed, then moved into the antechamber to let the bay doors open and the shuttle depart.
Hoshi sat the entire trip over with her eyes closed, desperately trying to think of anything but Jonathan Archer. She felt the shuttle slow as they approached the Vulcan ship, the slight bumps as it landed, then the hiss of the hydraulics as the door opened. She unbuckled the harness and stood up, lifting her eyes to see the Vulcan first officer and some of the crew waiting for her.
As the enormity of what she had done, as the realization that she had turned her back on the greatest love she would ever know finally caught up with her, Hoshi called out Jonathan's name on an anguished cry, her unconscious body sliding to the floor of the shuttle.
catseye
Malcolm uttered an exclamation and caught Hoshi before she hit the ground. "Hoshi!" he cried out.
Her eyes were wide open, but she did not respond. One of the Vulcans snapped out an order and another one went scurrying away. A minute later, an older Vulcan appeared.
"I am Tranek, the medical officer," the new arrival said as he bent down beside the Enterprise crewmembers. He began to examine Hoshi as Reed contacted his ship.
"Reed to Enterprise."
"Go ahead, Mr. Reed," Archer's voice responded.
"Sir, Ensign Sato fainted and we are attempting to revive her."
On the Enterprise bridge, Jon leaned forward in his chair, sitting on the edge of it and gripping the arms tightly. Hoshi fainted? What was wrong with her? "What's her status, Mr. Reed?" He was surprised by how calm he sounded.
"Captain Archer, I am Tranek, the Vulcan medical officer. I believe it would be best to transport Ensign Sato back to the Enterprise. We are not equipped to care for a human in her condition."
"What's her condition?" Archer barked back. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Trip staring intently at him from Malcolm's station.
There was a slight hesitation before Tarnek responded. "I am not certain."
* * * * *
Archer, Trip and Dr. Phlox met the returning shuttle. As the hatch swung open, Phlox and Trip were already climbing inside. Jon stood where he was, rooted to the spot. He watched as Trip carried Hoshi out. He could see that Hoshi's eyes were open, but she didn't appear to be breathing or showing any other signs she was aware of her surroundings. Archer's eyes met Trip's for a moment before the Captain looked away.
Dr. Phlox was frowning at his medical scanner. "We need to get her to sickbay immediately." Even his perpetually cheery voice sounded grim.
Trip and the Doctor hurried out the room as Malcolm went through the process of securing the shuttle.
"Malcolm," Archer spoke softly. "What happened?"
Reed sighed. "I don't know sir. One moment she was greeting the Vulcan crew and then she cried out your name, or at least she said "Jon," and then she passed out."
Slowly, Archer turned to look at his munitions man. "She called out for me?" A spark of hope revived in him.
* * * * *
It was cool and yet warm. She was bathed in white light, but it was not harsh. A faint smell of lemons reached her nose.
"Where am I?" Hoshi whispered.
There was nothingness around her, only the whiteness. It was soft and comforting, but strange and alien as well.
She remembered she was on the Vulcan ship with Malcolm. She was leaving the Enterprise to go back to Earth.
"Malcolm?" she called out. "Anyone?"
She wasn't in her uniform any longer, but a long, flowing white dress. Soft and silky, it felt lighter than air. No, she felt lighter than air.
"What is going on?"
"Men'ha braka tu!"
Hoshi's head snapped around. The voice was all around her, but she could see no one.
"Men'ha braka tu!"
Rapidly, she went through in her mind the various languages she knew and fixed on one. The Bocteb.
Given the last few days on the Enterprise, she had not had a chance to thoroughly study the language. Desperately, she tried to remember everything she knew.
"Men'ha braka tu!"
Rapidly, her mind raced through the columns of vocabulary. Men'ha braka tu. Tell us all.
"Tria-, tria nee ta," Hoshi got out haltingly. Where am I?
"Betal te groh!" We will take.
A searing pain laced through Hoshi's brain and she screamed.
* * * * *
"What's wrong with her?" Archer asked Phlox as she stood beside Hoshi's bedside.
"I'm not certain, Captain," the Denobulan replied. "Her vital signs are stable, if rather low. But her brainwave activity...I've never seen anything like it. It's erratic with extreme peaks and valleys."
"So she's aware of us?" Archer inquired. Impulsively, he picked up one of Hoshi's hands and held it.
"Captain," Phlox said gently. "I simply don't know."
Archer opened his mouth to reply but felt a pressure in the hand that held Hoshi's. He looked quickly down and realized she was squeezing his hand. "Doctor!" he said sharply. "She's squeezing my hand." He bent down close to Hoshi's face. "Hoshi?" he called out.
He saw it then, a single tear slowly escaped one of Hoshi's open, unseeing eyes and cut a path down her cheek.
* * * * *
Trip frowned at the display on Malcolm's console. Either the outermost sensors were on the fritz, or it had picked up something. It was there one moment, gone the next.
"T'Pol," Trip called across the bridge. "You pickin' anything up on the portside?"
T'Pol, in command while Archer was in sickbay, turned towards her own console. "Negative, Commander," she replied after a few moments. "Have you detected anything?"
"Not quite sure," Trip said as he tapped a few commands in. "Looks like there was some spatial distortion and then it was gone."
T'Pol raised an eyebrow and began a more extensive sweep of the area.
* * * * *
"I think she's still conscious on some level," Dr. Phlox said hesitantly after Archer pointed out the tear on Hoshi's face. "I'll need to run some more tests."
"Do it," Archer commanded. He sat down next to Hoshi's bedside, still holding her hand. "Hoshi? Hoshi, can you hear me? It's Jon. Hang on, sweetie. Just hang on."
* * * * *
Whatever they were doing to her, it hurt like hell. She could feel the Bocteb in her mind, peering into her memories, making her relive both happy and sad ones.
Then they found what they wanted.
Information about the Enterprise.
They were trying to find out more about the Enterprise. Its weapons capabilities, its defenses, everything.
No! Her mind screamed at them. She had to fight them. But how?
Hoshi concentrated and then began to conjugate verbs in different languages. She recited vocabulary lists. It was working. The information began to confuse the Bocteb. It distracted their probe. They got angry and they pushed harder.
That hurt a lot more.
She could feel the Bocteb make more headway. Oh God, she couldn't get keep this up. She needed to fix on something. Something that she could sustain and cling to.
"Hoshi? Hoshi, can you here me? It's Jon. Hang on sweetie. Just hang on."
Jon! Yes, think of Jon. Concentrate on Jon.
Hoshi's summoned up Jon's face, his beautiful face.
She felt the Bocteb retreat and knew she was at least holding them at bay.
* * * * *
Archer felt Hoshi squeeze his hand once again. He frowned at her. Did she hear him?
"Hoshi? Squeeze my hand if you can hear me."
He felt a slight pressure.
She could hear him, he wanted to shout. She was still with him.
Excited, he whispered into her ear. "Hoshi, stay with me. God, Hoshi, just stay with me. I love you too much to let you go."
Josephine
Jon looked at Hoshi staring at the ceiling, but seeing nothing. He wiped the tears from her cheeks as they fell, his eyes never leaving her face.
Phlox stepped up to the Captain. "We've determined that something is going on in her brain, but we can't figure it out what's happening. Sub Commander T'Pol has an idea, though."
"It is called a mind meld, Captain. I will join my mind with Ensign Sato's to determine what is causing this."
"Will it harm her?"
"I do not believe so. I am unaware of any Vulcan/Terran mind melds, however."
"It's our best hope, Captain."
Jon looked back at Hoshi, lying motionless on the bed. "Okay. Go ahead." Phlox and T'Pol moved away to prepare for the meld. Jon leaned forward, placing his head against Hoshi's. "Hold on, sweetheart. We're coming."
* * * * *
Hoshi felt something new, another presence. Not trusting this latest intruder, she curled up tighter, thinking of the few happy days she had spent with Jon. Concentrating on his touch, his scent...driving these trespassers out of her brain.
* * * * *
T'Pol came out of her trance. "Ensign Sato will not let me in. For some reason, she has put up barriers against me." T'Pol looked back at Hoshi. "Or someone else...Perhaps if you were to join me, Captain, we could both get through to the Ensign."
"Me? Why me?"
T'Pol raised an eyebrow. "Am I incorrect in thinking that you and Ensign Sato are...intimate?" She looked at their joined hands.
"Pretty soon, the whole damn ship will know. What do you want me to do?"
"Link with me, then we will link to Ensign Sato. Talk to her once we are joined. I believe your voice will get her to respond."
"All right."
* * * * *
Hoshi felt the newcomer back in her mind. Steeling herself against another onslaught, at first she thought she imagined Jon's voice.
Hosh? Sweetheart, are you there?
No, no, no...
It is, sweetheart. Trust me...
Hoshi felt a cool hand across her face, then a flood of memories that could only have been Jon's.
Are you really here?
Yes. T'Pol brought me in. You're in a trance of some kind. We've come to get you out. Sweetheart, what happened?
All the love Jon had for her swept over Hoshi as she opened up to him, but it held the shadow of hurt and anguish her betrayal those seven days ago. Hoshi wept inside as she saw the pain she had caused him, and she withdrew from the connection they had made, wondering how he could still want her back.
Hoshi! Come back! Don't you dare leave me again!
You don't need me around to distract you from your mission, Jon. Enterprise is all you ever wanted. I'd only get in the way if I stayed...
Hoshi?
...
HOSHI!!
jyorraku
She was gone. Like the fading of an echo. As much as he wanted to recapture her, he could feel her withdrawing. And then there was silence.
"T'Pol?!"
T'Pol's eyes snapped open and she stumbled back into Dr. Phlox's steady arms. Uncharacteristic sweat beaded at her temples. As she reoriented herself, she met Archer's distressed eyes.
"I'm sorry, Captain. I can no longer reach her."
Jon spun back to Hoshi's bedside. Squeezing tightly on her hand, he choked out, "Hoshi, I know you can hear me, please come back, I know you felt I was here, you can still feel me here...please."
This time, there was no pressure on his hand. There were no new tears. Only the unblinking eyes from the shell that was once the woman he loved, cherished, and adored.
Panicked, Jon turned toward the Denobulan. "Dr. Phlox, what happened?!"
Dr. Phlox continued his scans, his face grim. "Captain, I believe Ensign Sato has withdrawn further into herself. Whatever caused this can no longer reach her, but unless she wishes to come out herself, there's nothing we can do."
"You mean-"
"She will stay like this indefinitely. Until her muscles start to atrophy, her organs start to deteriorate...she will die."
"NO, SHE WON'T!" Jon yelled. He could travel at many times the speed of light, explore strange new worlds, seek out new civilizations, but all of it wouldn't matter if he couldn't keep the woman he loved alive.
Neither T'Pol or Dr. Phlox seemed the slightest perturbed by Archer's outburst. T'Pol didn't even bother to raise her trademark eyebrow. If anything, she looked like she was actually frowning in concentration.
"Captain, I believe Ensign Sato knew the perpetrators of her condition."
"Who?" he asked, gritting his teeth.
T'Pol stared at Archer for a second, as if contemplating whether it was wise to divulge the information.
"Who, T'Pol?!"
"The Bocteb."
Archer spun and punched his fist into the comm button. "Archer to Bridge."
"Mayweather here."
Archer glared at T'Pol, "Head back to Bocteb space, maximum warp. Malcolm, I want all the torpedo ports and phase cannons ready to go."
T'Pol stepped forward, "Captain, it would be unwise to return to Bocteb space-"
"In plain sight with our guns blazing? You said they were in her head, doing God knows what, I can't let them get away with it!"
"--Without reinforcements," T'Pol finished.
Archer gaped at his science officer.
"The Topas is still in the vicinity. Shall I ask for their assistance?"
Archer instinctively recoiled at asking for Vulcan help. But as he touched Hoshi's cold non-responsive fingers, he threw his caution and prejudice to the wind.
"Contact them. We'll rendezvous at the coordinates we previously met the Bocteb."
"Understood," T'Pol replied with a curt nod, then headed off to the bridge.
Still shaking his head in disbelief at T'Pol's initiative, Archer would have smiled had he had the ability to feel anything but pain.
"I'm leaving Hoshi in your capable hands, Doctor. Please..." Jon found it hard just to speak.
Dr. Phlox did not say anything to reassure him. Instead, he replied gravely, "Captain, even if we remove the Bocteb's involvement, I believe Ensign Sato has retreated too far into herself for it to matter."
Archer's eyes stung, and blood pounded dully at his temples though his heart ached like salt to an open wound. "We'll just have to cross that bridge when we come to it, Doctor. I want to make sure the Bocteb aren't there to probe her again when she does come out of it."
"Of course."
Jon leaned over Hoshi's immobile body and placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. "Don't go anywhere," he whispered, his voice shaking, "I'll be right back." Then he donned his Captain's mask and headed toward the bridge.
* * * * *
"Incoming!"
"Evasive maneuvers! Fire port tube!"
Enterprise shuddered and screeched as a torpedo flew out from its turning belly.
Smoke and fire crackled somewhere behind him, but Archer kept his eyes on the target Bocteb ship. Despite the assistance from the Topas, the Bocteb seemed to know where Enterprise's vulnerable spots were. They kept picking at the spots like a scab and all around him, he could sense Enterprise bleeding to death. Then there was a loud roar that even he couldn't bring himself ignore.
"Captain! I think we ran into something on our last move!"
"I'm detecting a spatial distortion. It's another Bocteb ship," T'Pol reported.
"Shit! It must have been trailing us all along," Trip yelled over the chaos.
"Hoshi. It was them," Archer seethed, "They must have used her to get access to Enterprise's systems."
Trip stared incredulously at Archer, "How'd Hoshi even know so much about the ship's vulnerable systems?"
Archer flashed him a grim smile, "Even if she doesn't understand, she remembers everything she hears."
"Then we're in big trouble."
* * * * *
The Bocteb mind probe was crudely designed. It had no defensive capabilities. Indeed, the Bocteb were so sure that machine was superior to biology that they didn't bother to check the feedback from their victim's minds.
So tightly enclosed was Hoshi around herself that mechanical parts of her mind started to creep out to make room for the extra input. It oozed out in no particular direction. Yet it was aware when it found something interesting and started to drain itself in that direction. So interesting was the finding that it registered within Hoshi's consciousness. Power distribution, schematics . . . vulnerabilities of the Bocteb ships. They were all there. In plain sight.
There was nothing left in her but hurt and pain, that was all she remembered. So like a wounded animal, Hoshi did the only thing her instincts told her to do.
She struck out in blind hatred. Efficiently. Ruthlessly.
When she came to, she saw herself in front of the display screen in the armory. On the screen, the Bocteb ships exploded brightly, feeding the hungry color receptors behind her eyes.
Hoshi laughed with a voice that was dull and unfamiliar to her ears. "Die, you sons of bitches. DIE!"
"Hoshi?!" Malcolm finally got up after being shoved away by a surprisingly strong, not to mention conscious, Hoshi. He cradled the arm he had injured during the battle, wondering if the pain was making him hallucinate. Gas and electrical sparks were making it hard to see in here. Wasn't she supposed to be in sickbay?
Hoshi turned to the man that had said something to her. She blinked uncomprehendingly at him through the mist of the damaged ship.
"Who are you?"
* * * * *
catseye
Malcolm could only stare dumbfounded at Hoshi. He watched as her fingers danced over the armory controls and she launched two more torpedoes to finish off the last Bocteb ship.
"Mr. Reed," Archer's voice came over the comm. "Congratulations, I think you just saved us and the Vulcans."
"Sir," Reed cleared his throat. "It wasn't me. It was Hoshi."
The occupants of the bridge stared at each other in silence. Archer shifted slightly in his seat, gathering himself.
"Malcolm, did you say Hoshi?"
"Yes sir," Reed's voice crackled back at him. "She knocked me down and took over the weapons control."
Jonathan felt joy; relief and determination to never let her go. He was about to bound off the bridge to armory when he heard Hoshi's almost disembodied voice come over the communication system.
"Who are you?" she asked again.
Jon's heart sank as he realized things were not going to be that simple.
* * * * *
Hoshi was resting, sedated by Dr. Phlox. The Doctor was nursing a large lump on his head. He explained to the Captain that Hoshi had sat up suddenly during the battle and pushed him violently out of her way. He had fallen and hit his head on the edge of a table.
"And you don't know why she suddenly woke up?" Archer asked as he looked worriedly at Hoshi's prone figure.
"There was a change in the brainwave patterns during the battle," Phlox explained. He pulled up three different brain patterns. "The first is the one Ensign Sato had before Enterprise left Earth. Standard procedure, you know. The second was taken during her comatose state. You notice how erratic it is. The third I took a few minutes ago. It's completely different from the first one."
"You think the Bocteb mind probe...changed her?" Archer asked with a hint of trepidation in his voice. How much would she remember? Would she remember how much he loved her?
Phlox hesitated. "I'm not sure. I don't know if her memory loss is temporary or permanent. I don't even know the extent of the," he didn't want to say damage and opted for another word, "change."
"T'Pol to Captain Archer."
Archer hit the communication button on the wall. "Archer here."
"Incoming transmission for you from Admiral Elpers."
Jon sighed. Not now. "I'll take it in my ready room." He looked over at Phlox. "Call me the second you have anything new."
* * * * *
"What the hell were you thinking Jon?!" Elpers thundered at him.
Archer winced inwardly, knowing he had acted out of pure emotion when going after the Bocteb.
"You jeopardized your ship, your crew for one, ONE crewmember!"
"Sir-," Archer began.
Elpers was in a rage and not to be stopped. "I knew something like this would happen when that damn policy was put into place. You acted out of your own selfish interests! Dammit, Jon! I'm surprised Sato had more sense than you did! At least she knew the score enough to get out of the way!"
Archer blinked at the screen when he heard Elpers' words. What did he mean? He remembered that Hoshi's abrupt change coincided with her talk with Elpers. Why didn't he connect the dots sooner? Because he had been so hurt by her actions, he hadn't thought it logically through. One of these days, he should really listen to what T'Pol said.
"Sir," Archer said crisply. "Are you telling me that you ordered Ensign Sato off of the Enterprise to get her away from me?"
Elpers realized his slip and shrugged. What did it matter now? "No, Jon, I didn't order her, but I told her the cold, hard facts of reality. Namely, her presence as a front line officer would eventually cause you to royally screw something up." Elpers' eyes turned stormy again. "Which you did by letting your feelings control you and using a Starfleet ship and crew for your own personal vendetta!"
"So you convinced her to leave." Archer's anger was beginning to swell and build within him, but his voice was still mild. "Let me guess, you said she would jeopardize my career."
"And she damn near cost you it today!" Elpers snapped back. He took a deep breath and sat back in his chair. The two men stared at each other over the many light years, each entrenched in their belief that he was right. When Elpers spoke again, his voice was more controlled and moderate.
"Lucky for you Jon, your ass isn't going to be fried today."
"What?" Archer blinked at him. He knew what he did was wrong, but he didn't really regret it.
"It seems," Elpers tone became slightly sarcastic. "That the Vulcans had been attacked by the Bocteb before. It was all hush-hush, intelligence stuff, which is probably why Subcommander T'Pol had no clue about them. The Vulcans are impressed with Enterprise's performance, and Ensign Sato."
"Hoshi?"
"Yes, Hoshi," returned Elpers. "Apparently, the Bocteb have mind probed Vulcans before, but they haven't been able to withstand it, never mind, turn it against the Bocteb. Nor have they been able to find effective weaknesses in the Bocteb ships." Elpers grinned humorlessly. "Your Hoshi has boosted our standing with our Vulcan friends."
Archer felt a mixture of pride and doubt when he heard Elpers' words. There was still the matter of the changes in Hoshi.
"So, what does this all mean?" Archer finally asked.
"It means," Elpers said brusquely. "That I don't bust your ass!" He took a deep breath. "And, depending on her health and fitness, Ensign Sato should remain on the Enterprise because she's too valuable and experienced of an officer to have cooling her heels on Earth or on any ship that's not going to be breaking the way for Earth." He looked sharply at Archer and leaned forward in his chair. "But we'll be watching you very, VERY closely Jon. One more incident like this one. One more hint that you'll put your own personal interest above the mission or the rest of the crew and I'll make sure the only job you can get in Starfleet is swabbing space ports. Am I clear?"
"Yes sir," Archer replied.
Elpers leaned back in his chair and for the first time grinned at Jon. "One other thing you should know Jon. The reason the Vulcans have had so many problems with the Bocteb and their mind probes is because the probes only work on telepathic species. The Vulcans have that capability."
Archer nodded, remembering T'Pol's mind meld on Hoshi. The he stopped. "Sir, are you saying Hoshi was picked because she's...telepathic?"
Elpers actually smiled this time. "Enjoying having a girlfriend who might actually be able to read your mind. Elpers out."
Archer was left staring at the Starfleet logo.
* * * * *
Josephine
Hoshi was lying down on a bed in the corner of sickbay while Phlox tended to other crewmen. Jon made his way over to her.
"Do you know where you are?"
Hoshi looked around. "Sickbay?"
"Do you know which sickbay?"
"No."
Jon kept his face expressionless.
"Do you know who you are?"
"...no."
Phlox came bustling over. "Well, Ensign, that was quite a bump you gave me. How are we feeling?"
"...fine?"
"Indeed?" The doctor ran a scanner over Hoshi, mumbling to himself. "Now her brain waves are practically flat, like she's shut herself down." He looked at Hoshi, just lying on the bed, passive and uncomplaining. "I wonder...I'll be right back, Captain."
"He's nice." Jon only nodded at Hoshi's observation.
A minute or two passed, with Jon looking at Hoshi and Hoshi looking around the room. Phlox came back and motioned to the Captain to follow him.
"I have spoken with T'Pol about melding with you and Ensign Sato again to see what is happening in her mind. I believe that the Ensign has created a persona to help her deal with the mind probe the Bocteb inflicted on her, but now that it is over, for some reason she doesn't want to come out. Hopefully you and T'Pol can reach her again."
Jon looked over at Hoshi, lying so still on the bed. "Okay. I'll try anything."
* * * * *
Hoshi curled up in her little ball, deep within her subconscious. The Bocteb had finally gone, but so had Jon. I'll just stay here. There's really nothing for me out there anyway, not without Jon. She remembered the anger, disgust, and betrayal so easily read on his face when she told him she was leaving. How could he ever want me back? I was so cruel to him ... No, I'll just stay here, with my memories ...
Mara
It took them the better part of three hours in real time to get close to where Hoshi had hidden in her mind.
Archer never wanted to experience anything like that again. Ever. It had been an indescribable experience, something like fighting his way through a combined hurricane/tornado/volcano with some fire and flood thrown in, in order to conduct a search and rescue mission while trying to hold his first officer's hand.
Although he knew it was only his own mind playing tricks on him, he still felt as though he'd gone ten rounds with a Klingon. Exhausted, battered, and desperate, he reached out for T'Pol again. Well, at least I'm getting better at this.
Do not congratulate yourself yet, Captain, we still must breach the final barrier that Ensign Sato has placed around herself. T'Pol's interior voice was nearly as dry as her exterior, but after this long, Archer was beginning to get a feel for what lay behind her pose of indifference. T'Pol would never have agreed to this procedure if she did not think the circumstances were dire.
Archer was trying not to think about what a Vulcan would think was dire. Failure is not an option, he thought firmly.
Indeed. Somehow, she managed to give the mental impression of arching her eyebrow at him.
They turned together to look at the final obstacle. To Archer, it looked like a shifting wall of...well, not light exactly, not sound...
I do not believe that structures of the mind correspond to the physical world.
He sent his agreement and together they moved into the field of...whatever it was. But this barrier was different than the rest, this one was composed of feelings, and they were hit by a barrage of anger, fear, and overwhelming self-loathing.
He could barely feel his contact with T'Pol and she drew them back. He tried to argue, but his relief was palpable when they were back in the merely dangerous landscape of Hoshi's mind.
She is not a powerful telepath, T'Pol told him, but her lack of training and consequent unpredictability make her dangerous.
Archer wanted to weep. To be so close...T'Pol, how do we get past this?
The same way. We continue. Now that I know what to expect I can shield myself from most of the emotions. I will shield you as much as I can.
They pushed forward again, Hoshi's mind throwing at them every negative emotion it could conjure, and then the emotions began to have words, pictures, and scenes attached.
A woman's voice saying "Not good enough, Hoshi"...a man, mouth open and obviously yelling..."Don't"..."How could"...suddenly another flash...and for just a moment, Archer saw himself pushing Hoshi away, eyes cold and hard, "Get out."
T'Pol's presence was the only thing holding him together. Keep moving, Captain. He kept moving.
Success happened so quickly, it was almost painful. From utter chaos, they erupted into a familiar scene: Hoshi's room in Brazil, just as he remembered it. There, on the bed, Hoshi lay with...him?
T'Pol's voice echoed in his mind. This is the center, Captain. She is here, and she should be able to hear you. I will do my best to separate from what happens here. A pause. Good luck.
He watched for a moment, stunned, as the image of him leaned over Hoshi and they talked and laughed. The Senhora brought them coffee, he talked to Trip, the Admiral summoned him back to San Francisco.
He shook himself and pressed forward as the image of him disappeared through the door. Before he could call out to Hoshi, suddenly they were in her classroom at the Linguistics Institute.
Oh my god, she's reliving our time together, over and over.
As Hoshi swept past him out the door, he grabbed at her arm. It was like trying to hold water; there was substance, but too slippery and fluid to hold.
Hoshi! he called as the scene switched to her office, but she ignored him, focusing on the friendly image in front of her.
jyorraku
Hoshi watched the scene in front of her with a small smile. There she sat in her Los Angeles office talking with Jon about her position on the Enterprise. It felt like only yesterday . . .
You, I want you.
Me? I'm not going into space.
I want you, Professor Sato, and I'm going to get you.
Do you think you have what it takes?
Jon stood next to her, watching her reliving the memory. She chuckled at the scene in front of them, looking happier than she had ever been on the Enterprise. He forgot to breathe, basking in the glow of her radiance. This was what Hoshi used to be like, before Enterprise. He touched her face, watching as it rippled under his touch. It pained him to know that he was the one that took her away from being carefree and happy.
"I'm sorry, Hoshi, I'm so sorry," he whispered, knowing that she probably couldn't hear him anyway. "If I could take it all back...I just want you to be happy."
Hoshi trembled suddenly, feeling something jerking at her. Cold settled over her as the scene before her flickered yet again. Now she was on the Enterprise. She saw herself, struggling to forget Jon, drawing into herself, and coming to in Sickbay.
"This isn't real. I'm so weak," she observed curiously. A tear fell down her cheek, at odds with her frowning face. She caught the droplet on her finger. "I cried. I cried for him."
She turned and for the first time since Jon came into Hoshi's mind, Jon realized that she saw him. She stared at him, not through him.
"Hoshi?" Jon ventured cautiously.
Hoshi's eyes narrowed, her lips thinning to a white line. "You did this. You made me weak. You made me ugly. Why are you here? GO AWAY, leave me alone!"
Jon wrapped his arms around her, relieved that he was finally able to hold on. "Hoshi, I'm sorry..."
She struggled against him, trying her best to get away. But he held on tight, so not even air came between them. Finally, she surrendered, falling weakly against him. Choking in her tears, she buried her face in the crook of his arms. "Why...do you make me...feel this way?" she asked haltingly in a small voice.
He smoothed his hands over her hair. "I don't know, Hoshi. I don't know."
"I was happy. Content . . . "
So was he. The Enterprise was finally going to be launched. He was finally going to fulfill his father's dreams. He didn't need anything else. But fate interceded in the form of Hoshi Sato, and suddenly it wasn't enough anymore. The intensity of his need for her scared him, so he had kept away, trying to convince himself he would be content with being the Captain of the Enterprise. Now he knew he would never be content again. Not without her.
"Hoshi, please come back, I love you."
Hoshi smiled sadly at that, her eyes shadowed by sorrow, "Love isn't enough for you. I love you too much to let it be." She leaned up and placed a soft kiss by his temple. "Be happy. Forget about me."
Jon blinked dizzily at her kiss, swaying in place. Hoshi stared at him, almost through him, with growing realization of her abilities. She had learned more about her telepathy through the Bocteb. With everything that they had shared between them and her new powers, she knew Jon was especially vulnerable here in the domain of her mind. Squeezing her eyes tight, she steeled herself for her next task.
"Forget about us," she whispered to him, "Forget everything that I am to you. I am Ensign Hoshi Sato, your communications officer. That is all I am." She watched as Jon's eyes fluttered close at her spell. "And that's all that I will ever be," she finished for herself.
Captain! T'Pol allowed herself a small outburst as Archer broke the link and fell to the floor. She had not seen what happened between him and Ensign Sato but wondered what could have caused Captain Archer to collapse in the middle of a meld. She broke away from Hoshi and helped Dr. Phlox lift him onto a bed nearby.
"What happened?" Dr. Phlox asked T'Pol as he scanned the Captain.
"I am uncertain," T'Pol answered. Had she underestimated the extent of Ensign Sato's powers?
"Hmm, seems like a mild fainting spell," Dr. Phlox said as he applied a hypospray to Archer's neck.
A couple seconds later, Archer moaned. He opened his eyes and saw T'Pol and Dr. Phlox standing over him. "What happened? I feel like I've been through hell."
"I believe Ensign Sato broke the meld with you."
"Hoshi?" Archer sat up to see Hoshi sitting up in a bed across from his. T'Pol raised an eyebrow at the conscious Hoshi. Even Dr. Phlox looked bewildered at her sudden recovery.
"Captain, thank you for getting me out from the traps the Bocteb put in my head. I feel so much better now," Hoshi told him, smiling.
Archer shook his head, trying to get rid of the spiderwebs that seem to clog his thoughts. He felt confused and disoriented, as if someone had just used his brain for a soccer ball and kicked it around a bit. Yes, the Bocteb had tried to use Hoshi for information about the Enterprise. He went after them but Hoshi was still trapped inside her head. And...T'Pol suggested that he could help get her out. But...why him? I suppose because Hoshi listens to me, I'm her Captain. "Umm...you're welcome, Ensign. Just," he shook his head again, "Just don't let it happen again."
Hoshi smiled softly at him. "It won't happen again, sir."
* * * * *
catseye
Hoshi quietly sipped her tea as she scrolled through the information on her padd. She was vaguely aware of T'Pol's approach, but chose to ignore the Vulcan.
"Ensign Sato, may I join you?"
Hoshi stifled a sigh. She was wondering when this would happen.
After she managed to make Jon forget and erase all his memories of their personal relationship, Phlox had kept her in sickbay for two more days. She knew what she did to Jon was potentially dangerous, still uncertain about these new avenues in her mind that the Bocteb mind probe had opened up.
And while she was able to make Jon forget, there was still the matter of a few people who knew about them. Except for Trip, she felt fairly certain that Phlox and T'Pol would never bring the matter up. She had a brief conversation with Admiral Elpers while still in sickbay as they discussed her continued assignment on Enterprise and she had firmly and convincingly informed him that her relationship with Jon was over. She knew the Admiral wouldn't let anything inadvertently slip.
That left the problem of Trip. She had considered briefly altering his memories as well, but the whole idea of doing that was distasteful to her. It almost felt as though she would be violating him. Of course, that was what she had done to Jon, but she felt justified in doing so, to spare him the pain. Besides, she wasn't thinking too clearly at the time and had acted on an emotional impulse.
Fortunately, Trip believed that she and Jon were still on the outs and was wise enough to not bring up their past relationship.
That only left one potential problem. Archer's fainting spell and his abrupt change in attitude appeared to raise some suspicion in T'Pol. Hoshi didn't need to be a mind reader to realize that. Phlox's battery of tests on her kept the Vulcan away for a few days, enough time for Hoshi to think of a way to deal with the Subcommander.
"Please," Hoshi said, indicating the empty chair at her table.
It was late and the messhall was empty. Hoshi noticed that T'Pol also carried a cup of tea. The Vulcan took a sip and regarded Hoshi carefully.
"The Doctor is pleased with your recovery," T'Pol remarked. "But he has noted some alterations in your brainwave patterns."
"I didn't realize my medical records were public information," Hoshi said with just the slightest edge in her voice.
"They are not," T'Pol replied coolly. "However, given the circumstances he felt it best to consult with me."
"Circumstances?" Hoshi repeated. "You mean the latent telepathic capabilities that have surfaced?"
T'Pol nodded. "You are untrained. Dr. Phlox suggested that it might help if I gave you some instructions to focus your mind."
Hoshi tilted her head to one side and regarded the Vulcan intently. "That time we were on the Klingon ship. When you helped me calm down? You sensed it in me, didn't you?"
T'Pol nodded again. "Not immediately, but when you reacted so quickly, I suspected there may have been some latent abilities." She raised one eyebrow. "However, when I performed the mind meld, I realized I had underestimated."
"Is that good or bad?" Hoshi asked.
"It would depend on how that energy is harnessed."
"Don't worry, Subcommander," Hoshi laughed. "I don't intend to use my superpowers for the forces of evil."
"Sometimes one does not regard her actions to be evil," T'Pol returned.
Hoshi stared at the blank face of the Vulcan and she spoke softly. "And sometimes you do things to spare those you love the most."
The two women regarded each other silently for a moment and T'Pol inclined her head gracefully in defeat. "I have noticed an improved attitude in Captain Archer." Hoshi started at the mention of Jon's name and T'Pol raised her eyebrow again, but she merely continued. "Perhaps he is better served with your methods." She took another sip of her tea. "However, I do believe it would be best if we begin some type of training."
Hoshi smiled slightly. "I'd like that."
* * * * *
After tossing and turning for several hours, Archer got out of bed and sat down at his desk. Porthos regarded him sleepily for a moment, uttered a small whine and then went promptly back to sleep.
What was wrong? He wondered as he ran his fingers through his hair. Why couldn't he sleep?
After the fight with the Bocteb, the Enterprise had had an uneventful week as it made repairs and those who had been injured were given time to heal.
The injured, including Hoshi Sato.
Archer smiled as he thought of his communication officer. She had come a long way from that nervous, space-shy ensign to this staggeringly amazing, self-assured woman.
An amazingly beautiful woman.
Hello, where did that come from? he wondered.
Yes, Hoshi was beautiful, he admitted that, but he had never thought of her in that way before. She was his communications officer, someone under his command. While Starfleet had a new policy regarding fraternization, he had never really considered taking advantage of it.
Archer shook himself and went back to bed. He needed to be up soon and he would like to get a few hours of sleep. He watched the stars pass by as the ship cut swiftly through space. Soon, he felt his eyelids closed as he drifted off into sleep, only to dream about Hoshi.
* * * * *
Captain Archer entered the messhall. His gaze swept through the room, noting that it was almost full. He saw Hoshi sitting with a lieutenant and for some reason, felt his eyes drawn to the couple. An odd twinge started in the pit of his stomach and he felt a muscle near his left eye twitch. He saw Hoshi laugh at something the lieutenant said.
What the hell is she doing with him? His fists clenched and he took a step towards them before he stopped himself.
Archer was shocked by the vehemence of this thought and wondered what had come over him. He...he actually felt jealous seeing Hoshi with this other man.
It took a great deal of will power to force himself into his private dining room when every fiber of his being wanted to rush over to Hoshi's table. Why was he feeling this way? He had no claims on Hoshi. Hell, they'd only had the most professional of relationships.
"Evenin' Captain," Trip greeted. He and T'Pol were already waiting in the private room.
"Trip, T'Pol," he said distractedly as he took a seat. T'Pol inclined her head gracefully.
They made small talk as a crewman brought out their dinner. Chef had decided to go with a Mexican dinner theme tonight.
Mexican dinner. Central American food. South America. Something clicked in Archer's mind. It was a ghost of a memory and as he tried to grasp it, it faded away again. What was it?
"Captain?" T'Pol inquired. She had asked him a question.
Archer forced himself to concentrate on the dinner conversation. Later that night as he was lying in bed, he recalled what the memory was. Hoshi, lying in bed, her hair unbound and laughing delightedly up at him.
* * * * *
"Ensign, how are those translations coming along?" Archer asked as he leaned over the railing that separated Hoshi's station from part of the bridge.
"I should have the UT up and working in about an hour, sir." She looked up and saw him gazing curiously at her. Hoshi's heart constricted in pain. She thought it would be easier this way, having Jon not remember anything about their relationship, but it was slowly tearing her to pieces.
"Good," he said, still staring at her.
Hoshi felt a twinge of doubt. While T'Pol had helped her focus her new found telepathic talents, she was not adept at reading people's minds. She also really didn't feel she should be prying anyway. But at this moment, with the strange looks Jonathan had been giving her the past few days, she wished she was far along enough to take a peek inside of his head. Was he beginning to remember? And if he did, would he hate her for doing what she did?
To hide her distraction, Hoshi reached out to tap a button her control panel. Sparks flew into her face and she felt a strong charge flow through her body. She was flung out of her chair and she vaguely heard Jon calling her name.
She felt strong arms around her and a solid chest against her back. Trembling from the shock she had just received, Hoshi slowly gathered her wits.
"Hoshi!" Jon cried out frantically.
She looked up into his terrified eyes and smiled wanly. She felt pain next and realized there was a nasty burn on her hand.
* * * * *
Jonathan Archer stood outside his communications officer's quarters and stared at the closed door. The short circuit in Hoshi's control panel had shocked her enough to send her to sickbay. Phlox had pronounced her injuries to be minor but suggested she rest the next day in her quarters.
The accident had more than just an effect on Hoshi. Seeing her hurt had cut through the mental fog Archer had been in for the past few weeks. He remembered everything. He remembered his time with Hoshi, making love to her, the pain of their separation, their arguments and finally, the time he spent inside her mind as she fought the Bocteb probe. Last, he remembered her making him forget all that they had meant to each other.
At first, as the memories came rushing back to him, he had felt bitter anger and resentment. How could she play with his mind that way? But after he had calmed down, he realized she did what she felt would be the only thing to save him from any more pain.
She never realized that not having her was the one thing that hurt most in the world.
He hit the chime on her door and heard her call out for him to come in.
He entered her quarters and she stood immediately up from the chair at her desk. Jon saw her blush slightly because she was dressed simply in a tank top and shorts.
"Sir," she said politely.
The door closed behind him and he hit the locking mechanism. He saw her eyes widen slightly as he approached and placed his hands on her slim shoulders.
"I remember everything," he told her softly.
Tears welled up in her eyes and she bit her lower lip. After a few moments she looked up into his face. "I think it would have been better if you didn't."
He grinned ruefully. "Hoshi, I was mad as hell that you did that to me. Still am a little bit. But you forgot one thing. You may have erased my memories, but you couldn't change my heart. I was falling in love with you all over again."
She stared at him in shock. The tears spilled from her eyes. She stood there as Jon bent down and began to softly kiss her forehead, her cheeks, her lips and her neck.
"But, but, your career...the Enterprise...," she said feebly as she felt any resolve she had built up melt under his gentle touch.
"None of it matters if I can't have you," he murmured as he concentrated on a particularly sensitive spot underneath her ear.
With almost inhuman will, she pushed him slightly away and took a step back. He saw her look at him with hunger, longing, love and fear. "I wouldn't be able to stand it if you regretted being with me."
He smiled at her, confident, lovingly. "I could never regret loving you."
She searched his face and then closed her eyes. She opened up her mind, reaching out with tentative fingers, hesitantly touching his.
Jon felt her quietly caressing his mind and understood what she wanted. He relaxed and allowed her in. Inside, she saw everything he felt and realized he was simply speaking the truth. There would be no regrets from him, no doubts. He wanted her and to him, she was the most important thing. She almost wept when she felt the overwhelming love he had for her.
Hoshi opened her eyes and found Jon staring intently at her. Gently, she reached up and pressed her mouth delicately against his. It was a sweet kiss that quickly increased in its intensity.
Trying to keep their bodies in contact as much as possible, they undressed and made their way over to her narrow bed. Their hands and mouths roamed the other's body, like new lovers memorizing each detail.
Hoshi felt Jon tasting and teasing every inch of her until she felt she could take no more and she heard herself beg him. When they joined, it was not simply a physical coupling, but one of mind and spirit. They became one with more than just the sex their bodies craved, it was a joining of such purity that any doubts either had disappeared in the heat of their intensity.
They made love several more times, before they collapsed back into the sweat soaked sheets. Hoshi sighed and turned over onto her side. She felt Jon spoon up against her and he drew the sheet they had kicked down to the foot of the bed over their bodies. She snuggled against him and uttered a low, contented sound in her throat as he kissed her ear. His arms tightened around her and she heard his voice in her mind.
Happy?
Yes.
I love you.
I love you too, she thought back at him as they both finally drifted into sleep.