Wow, thanks for all the reviews guys! I really appreciate them! You guys are the wind beneath my wings! Awwww! Now on with Chapter 5!
It's 7:00! Time for the next installment of…Digital Bean Smoothie: Uncut and Uncensored!
*R. Kelly's "Ignition Remix" begins to play as video from episodes flash across the screen, as well as sound bites from upcoming episodes including*:
"We don't answer the door naked here in Fro Manor."
"Adam's boinking me and you're just jealous!"
"It's Kyle "hummina hummina" Downes!"
"Excuse me, but I was having a Hallmark moment here."
"Rich was spanking his inner moppet in the bathroom!"
*Camera fades in to reveal the host, the eloquent Mr. Bob*
"Hi, I'm Bob Saget! And welcome to another exciting episode of Digital Bean Smoothie: Uncut and Uncensored! We're glad you could join us and we hope you're having just as much fun as our Fromiez and their houseguests are! Last week you saw The Fromiez complete their very first mission and almost get killed in the process! Let's hope that their next mission goes just a tad bit smoother! Ha ha ha! I'm so funny, aren't I? Ah yes, well, let's get back to Fro Manor, where we can catch up with The Fromiez as they try to recuperate from last night's horrific events!"
*Camera fades out as Bob gives a cheesy fake gun-point salute to the audience*
"That is the last time we hire Ben and Amy to be our house sitters," Kelly said as she stared at the contents of the refrigerator in despair. "They totally cleaned us out! All we have left is a bottle of ketchup and a box of M&M's."
"I'll take those!" Kee said as he swooped down behind Kelly and grabbed the candy, shoving handfuls of peanut butter M&M's into his mouth. "Mmm, they're still good too!"
Kelly rolled her eyes and slammed the fridge door shut. A major grocery shopping trip was in order. "Okay, so who's going to the store?" she asked the six lazy bums sitting around her. They all just kind of stared at her with a glazed look in their eye and went back to whatever they were doing. Granted, half of them were nearly asleep anyway since no one could get a proper night's rest the evening before. Cammy had scared the bejeesus out of everyone.
*Cut to Jenn in the confessional, previously taped*
"Tell me your problems, my child," Pat said as he sat down behind the confessional camera and faced Jenn.
"Oh my GOD, it's been so crazy around here and we haven't even been in the house a week yet! We just got back from our first mission, and let me tell you, it did not go as planned! We're still waiting to hear back from Bob about whether or not we passed. I have a feeling we didn't do too well since we nearly got caught, but we did the best we could. I'm NEVER going back to Cammy's house ever again. It's just way too scary. None of us can sleep and it's 4:00 in the morning. Not to mention the fact that Rich had us listen to Lalaine's CD in the van on the way back so we all have that wretched music stuck in our heads. I swear, I'm gonna kill Rich – "
"I'm sensing a lot of tension here," Pat said thoughtfully. "Could it be sexual tension as well?"
"GROSS! No way! At least…I don't think so."
*Cut back to the kitchen, the morning after the mission.*
"Just forget it Kelly, I'll do the shopping!!" Aubrey said in a huffy voice as she grabbed the car keys off of the table. "Wait a minute, I can't drive. Someone needs to come with me."
"I'll go with you," Kim volunteered, getting up from her comfortable spot on the floor where she was sprawled out. "But let me call Ashley first. She needs to do a portrait of Kyle for my ceiling. Can you wait like two minutes?"
"I'll be in The Fro Van!" Aubrey bounded out the back door, while Kim grabbed the portable phone off of the kitchen counter and dialed Ashley's number.
"Hello?" came Ashley's cheery voice through the receiver.
"Yoooo Ashley! It's Kim, how YOU doin'?"
"You want me to come over and do the portrait, don't you?" Ashley laughed.
"You read my mind! Can you come over now? Aubrey and I are going to the store, but the others will be here." Kim twisted the phone cord around her finger, hoping that Ashley would say yes.
"Sure, sounds good. It'll probably take me a couple of hours though."
"No worries! Just as long as I can wake up looking at Kyle's face – hummina hummina! Take as long as you need, Ash-meister. See you soon!"
"Bye!" Kim hung up the phone and ran after Aubrey, leaving the other Fromiez in their state of listlessness.
*Cut to commercial break – and now a word from our sponsors! "Lucky Charms, they're magically delicious! I'm a Leprechaun me! Fiddle dee fiddle dee dee!"
*Cut back to the show*
"I'LL GET THAT!" Kelly yelled as she ran towards the front door. It didn't really matter much anyway, since no one else seemed interested in seeing who rang the doorbell. Kelly opened the door to find Ashley standing there, wearing a painter's smock, a French beret, and holding all of her painting supplies. "Hey Ashley! Come on in!"
"Hello Kelly! I've come to paint Kim's room!" she held up her paintbrush and smiled. "If you could be so kind as to show me where it is, I'd appreciate it!"
"Sure, right this way," Kelly led Ashley up the spiral staircase and towards Kim's room. "Do you think you could put Adam's face on my ceiling when you're done?"
"I'm sure something could be arranged! Only if you introduce me to him, though. I heard he was living next door – is that true?" Ashley asked as she began to mix the various colors of paint together.
"Yeah, supposedly. But he hasn't been by for a visit though, even though he designed the house." Kelly studied the red polish on her fingernails and deliberately neglected to mention the fact that she had been watching Adam from her bedroom window for the past 2 days.
*Cut to Kelly in the confessional, previously taped*
"How can I help you today, my child?" Pat asked as he focused the camera on Kelly and sat down across from her.
"I feel so guilty!" Kelly stated as she nervously chewed her nails.
"And why is that?" Pat asked in a concerned voice.
"Well, everyone knows that Adam lives next door but like, no one else knows that I've been watching him from my window. Even Aubrey doesn't know that I have a perfect view of his bedroom from my window, and she's my roommate! I've been watching him every chance I get and I just can't help but feel so in love with him! Isn't that stupid? I mean, I've never even talked to him! But he's just so hot! And to make matters worse, last time I was watching him, he actually saw me! And he winked and waved and everything! So now he knows I'm some kind of stalker freak, and I'm worried that's why he hasn't come over yet."
"Don't worry, Kelly," Pat replied reassuringly. "Things happen for a reason – and good things come to those who wait!"
*Cut back to Kim's room, where Ashley and Kelly are talking*
"Hmmm…so would you say Kyle's eyes are sort of an azure blue, or more of a sky blue?" Ashley asked as she held up two swatches of color against each other. She stared at each, giving them her expert "artist" eye. "I'd go with sky blue…what do you think, Kelly?"
"Huh?" Kelly shook her head and snapped out of her dream world. "Ummm…I guess sky blue. I don't know. Adam's eyes are more azure blue, though. Definitely azure! Yeah, because they're sort of dark – and really nice. Sort of like – " Kelly stopped when she realized she was rambling. "Umm, anyway. Yeah, whatever works."
"Hi, Kelly," Rich said as he poked his head into the room. "You want to come listen to Lalaine's CD with me? I discovered that there's a hidden track! Isn't that cool?"
"Ummm, no thanks – I'm fine," Kelly said as she avoided looking at Rich. She didn't feel like listening to music when there was the potential of a possible Adam Lamberg sighting from her bedroom window!
"Oh, okay," Rich's mouth turned down in disappointment. "Well, I'll be in my room if anyone needs me."
"Right – " Kelly was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell chiming throughout the house. "Ah, the doorbell – I'll get that!"
As soon as Kelly was out of the room, Ashley took the opportunity to say to Rich,
"So you hang out with Kelly a lot?"
"Kelly's hot," Rich replied simply, shrugging his shoulders. Ashley just raised an eyebrow and nonchalantly began painting the outline of Kyle on the ceiling. She adjusted herself on the ladder so that she was a bit more comfortable. Ah, the price you pay for creating beautiful art!
"Yeah, so do you like her or something?" Ashley pressed on casually.
"No!" Rich cried with a horrified look on his face. "I like Lalaine! Lalaine's pretty!"
"Riiiight…it sounds like you're trying to convince yourself that you don't like Kelly," Ashley said teasingly. "Well, whatever, it seems like she's more interested in –
"ADAM! OH MY GOD! IT'S ADAM LAMBERG!"
"What?!" cried Rich and Ashley at the same time. Ashley put down her paintbrush and quickly stepped down off the ladder. Her and Rich ran downstairs to find Kelly standing there in front of the opened door, her hands covering her mouth in shock.
"Uhhh, hey guys," the curly-headed Adam said with a lopsided grin. "Can I come in?"
Kelly just held open the door without a word. Adam stepped in and ran a hand through his fro. "I love what you've done with the place," he said. "It looks really great."
"Hey, hey, HEY! What the hell is going on in here?!" Kee suddenly cried as he hurried in from the kitchen. "I was trying to enjoy my ketchup in peace and there's all this screaming going down," at that moment he saw Adam standing there. "Oh, uhh, hey…Adam?"
"Hey," Adam replied with another grin. "And you are?"
"My name's Kee. And this dude over here is Rich – "
"Right, Rich," Adam said, reaching out and shaking his hand. "Lalaine told me something about you – "
"REALLY??? WHAT'D SHE SAY?!" Rich asked in an overly excited tone.
"Whoa, down boy!" Jenn told him as she came into the foyer to see what all the commotion was about. "Don't bug Adam, he's only been here for two minutes. Hi, I'm Jenn, by the way."
"Nice to meet you," Adam said, shaking her hand. "All she said was that some annoying kid named Richard kept emailing her and calling her. That's all. It might be another Richard though, right?"
"No, that'd definitely be him," Kee said with a smirk on his face. "Anyway, this girl in the beret is Ashley, the dude passed out on the sofa over there is Scott, Rich's brother. He was our driver last night and he's a little stressed out, so he's taking a small siesta. And this is Kelly," Kee gently pushed her forward. Adam's face lit up when he saw her. She just stood there in front of him, mouth completely agape and not saying a word until Jenn elbowed her in the side.
"Oh! Um! It's – it's a pleasure to meet you," Kelly finally stammered, shaking his hand and gazing into his blue eyes.
"No, the pleasure is all mine," Adam said pointedly, giving her a little wink. Kelly just gulped nervously and didn't realize that she was still holding onto his hand. She might have stood there all day if Aubrey and Kim hadn't chosen that exact moment to come back home, carrying loads of groceries.
"Hey guys! We got the essentials!" Kim yelled, carrying about six bags and apparently not noticing the celebrity standing in front of her. "We got cheap wine coolers, we got chocolate, we got Easy Mac, we got Cheerios, we got – ADAM LAMBERG? The hell???"
"Um, hi," Adam said, raising an eyebrow at her. "I live next door. I just wanted to come say hey to all you guys."
"Yeah, right, okay – nice to meet you and all that crap," Kim said hurriedly. "So, can you get me Kyle's phone number?"
"What?" Adam looked slightly confused, but then he noticed Aubrey standing next to him, also holding a bunch of groceries. "Here, let me help you with that," he said graciously as he grabbed a bag from her. "A beautiful woman like yourself shouldn't have a burden like this."
"Jigger what?" Aubrey stated confusedly. She just started off towards the kitchen and glanced over her shoulder, watching Adam follow her. Luckily, she didn't run into the wall on the way over.
"So what's your name?" he asked as he gently set the bag down on the counter.
"My name's Aubrey."
"That's a nice name," Adam replied, giving her a bright smile. "Is your hair really that curly like mine or is it a wig?"
"Oh…umm…" Aubrey blushed and quickly took off her David Gordon hair. She had forgotten that she had even had it on. "Sorry…"
"It's okay. Although I have to say that I like your natural hair a whole lot better." As Adam stared her down with his blue eyes, it was like Aubrey completely lost the power of speech.
"Errr….um….uh…..gah…der…..huzzah?" she finally sputtered out at the end. She figured she had made a complete idiot of herself, but Adam just laughed.
"That's very…interesting. We'll have to get together some time, okay?"
"Sure!" This statement came out rather easily - surprisingly.
"Great! Well, I have to go – it was nice meeting you," Adam headed out towards the front door, although most of the Fromiez were no longer gathered around it anymore. The only one who remained was Kelly, who was standing there looking rather nervous. "So do you have a nice view from your window?" Adam asked her with a knowing smile.
"Not especially," she lied, even though she knew for sure that Adam was aware of her peeping tom ways.
"Well, how about you and I get together sometime? This way you don't have to look through the window," Adam said teasingly.
"Yeah…absolutely!" Kelly replied with a dreamy, goofy smile on her face. Adam gave her one last grin before opening the door and slipping outside. Once the door was shut, Kelly leaned against it and began a day dream – one in which she and Adam were sailing away to some remote island they would live there, alone, for the rest of their days.
Little did she know that Aubrey was having the same daydream back in the kitchen.
Will Adam successfully play Aubrey and Kelly? Does Jenn want to shag Rich? Will anyone be shagging anyone? Stay tuned to find out!