Thanks for all the reviews and all that jazz! Sully and David, I put you guys in this chapter, so I hope you enjoy! And Amy, sometime in the coming chapters, you'll be bunking with The Fromiez for a few days as requested. I also need to incorporate Rachel and Dan in the story, so don't worry guys – I'll get to you and I won't forget you! Special thanks to MTV Movie Productions for taking note of this fanfic – you'll be hearing from me! *cough* Now on with the next chapter!
It's 7:00! Time for the next installment of…Digital Bean Smoothie: Uncut and Uncensored!
*R. Kelly's Ignition Remix begins to play as video from upcoming episodes flashes across the screen, as well as some sound bites including:"*
"I'm living in a horrible nightmare!"
"Little bunny foo-foo hopping through the forest…"
"It's illegal to love you, but I do anyway!"
"It's Saturday night and I just got LAID!"
"Dude, she is so incredibly shit-faced drunk right now."
*The opening ends and the camera fades in to reveal the host*
"Hi, I'm Bob Saget. And welcome to another fascinating episode of Digital Bean Smoothie: Uncut and Uncensored. We're glad you could make it, and we're also glad that you've been tuning in for these past few weeks! You, the viewer, is what makes this show so great, so on behalf of The Fromiez, I just wanted to say that you guys rock. Don't ever change. And make sure to watch reruns of Full House. Umm…anyway! Last week we were introduced to next-door neighbor Adam Lamberg, who came over for a little visit. He took a special liking to Kelly and Aubrey, which could prove to be interesting later on! Let's check back with our Fromiez one week later as they deal with sexual tension and other dramatic things that happen when you put seven people together in a confined area."
*Camera fades out as Bob grins and waves to the home viewer*
"This was fun, wasn't it Kelly? I'm so glad you were able to come out with me tonight," Adam said as he walked Kelly to the front door. "Sorry about that homeless guy getting your purse and everything. I didn't think walking through that back alley at night would be so dangerous. Can I see you again tomorrow?"
"Absolutely," Kelly said in a dreamy voice, staring into Adam's deep blue eyes. He smiled at her and stepped a little closer, leaning in to give her a passionate kiss.
"Well…goodnight…" he whispered, planting one last kiss on her lips before turning and walking towards his house.
Kelly just sighed happily and let herself in, trying to be as quiet as possible so she wouldn't wake up the other Fromiez. Once she got to her room, however, she was in for a little surprise.
"Where the hell do you think you're going?" Kelly asked in an accusatory tone as she switched on the light watched Aubrey attempt to slink out of their room. Aubrey froze, then slowly turned around.
"Umm…just out for a little stroll, that's all," she said calmly, giving Kelly a bright smile.
"Yeah, a little stroll – at 2:00 in the morning! And why are you in your bathing suit?" Kelly narrowed her eyes at her roommate and nonchalantly wiped the smudged lipstick off of her mouth. "Do you have a date or something?"
"A date? Me! Ha! No!" Aubrey said nervously, her eyes darting around. She wouldn't dream of telling Kelly where she was really going – on a late-night swim with Adam in the Fro Pool – because Adam had specifically told her not to tell anyone that they were dating. They had gone out every night for the past week, and everything had been great. Perfect, even. There was no way Aubrey was going to mess it up now by blowing her cover. "I'm just going for a stroll…in my bathing suit. Actually, I'm going for a dip in the pool. I had a long day and my muscles are tired, so ummm…yeah. See ya!"
"Well, if you wait up, I'll come with you," Kelly said as she took off her shoes. "A late-night swim might be fun."
"NO!" Aubrey said a little too anxiously. "I mean…I'd rather go alone. But thanks anyway. Bye!" With that, she turned and scurried out of the room before Kelly could say another word.
*Cut to Kelly in the confessional, previously taped*
"How can I help you?" Pat asked as he adjusted the confessional camera on the nervous girl sitting in front of him.
"I've been dating Adam!" Kelly blurted out. "I am so totally in love with him and I can't help it. I want to shout it from the rooftops, but Adam doesn't want anyone else to know because of his celebrity status and everything. He said the press would be all over it. And I totally respect that, but I just need to tell somebody! I'M IN LOVE WITH ADAM!"
"Are you absolutely sure you know what you're getting into? Sometimes dating a celebrity isn't all it's cracked up to be," Pat said wisely.
"Yeah…of course I know what I'm getting into! I think..."
*Cut to Fro Pool, where Aubrey and Adam are splashing around*
"Adam, you have to be quieter! Everyone will wake up!" Aubrey said laughingly as she swam away from him, but he was faster. He caught with her and pinned her against the side of the pool, grinning mischievously.
"I'll be quiet if you give me a kiss," he said teasingly. But before she could even answer, he had tilted his head in and eagerly pressed his wet and slippery lips against hers. "See, I'm quiet now," he murmured, leaning in for another sloppy pool-kiss.
*Cut to Kim and Jenn's room*
"OKAY! What the hell is going on down at the pool?!" Kim yelled as she threw the covers back and stalked over to the window. "I need absolute quiet to sleep, people! Sleep is essential for cognitive well-being! DUH!"
"Dude, chill out," Jenn said from her bed. She had a sleeping mask over her eyes, as well as a mud mask over her face. "Just go tell whoever is down there to shut up."
"Damn straight I will! I mean – OH MY GOD! Jenn! You gotta come look at this!" Kim pushed back the curtain and stuck her head out the window, craning her neck for a better look at the action.
"What? What?" Jenn ripped the sleeping mask off and joined Kim at the window. "Oh wow! Hey, that's Adam…is that Aubrey? What are they doing?!"
"Hummina hummina!" Kim cried a little too loudly. "They better not be doing what I think they're doing. Other people use that pool too!"
*Cut to Kee, Scott and Rich's room*
"DAMNIT! Those girls won't shut up!" Kee yelled miserably as he pounded his pillow with his fist.
"What are they yelling about? Something in the pool?" Scott asked groggily as he placed his own pillow over his head in an attempt to block out the noise. "Rich – are you awake?"
"Zzzzzzzz…" was Rich's only reply. Of course – he could sleep through a hurricane and not even notice.
"That's it…" Kee picked up a shoe by his bed and chucked it at the wall that was connected to Jenn and Kim's room.
*Cut to Kim and Jenn's room*
Suddenly, a loud banging noise resounded against the wall to their room. It sounded like a shoe being thrown against the wall.
"WILL YOU BABES PLEASE SHUT UP AND LET US SLEEP, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!" Kee yelled from next door.
"Whoops…" Kim said as she quietly shut the window and headed back to bed. Jenn put her sleeping mask back on and turned on her sound soother to button marked "seagulls" and the two of them started to drift back into blissful sleep.
However, that was soon interrupted by the shrilling sound of the house alarm going off, which resonated throughout Fro Manor and woke everyone up with a start. It could only mean one thing – someone had broken in.
"HOLY SHIT!" Kim cried as she bolted out of bed and jerked open the door. Jenn, clad in her pajamas and mud mask, joined her as they ran to the boys' room and pounded on their door.
"Red alert! Red alert!" Jenn yelled through the thick door. "Guys, get up! The alarm is going off! We have to get downstairs – now!"
The door was opened by a very tired looking Kee, whose hair was standing straight up and the circles underneath his eyes were about the size of dinner plates. "Yeah, the alarm is going off – thanks for telling us. It's not like it's freaking loud as hell or anything!"
"Well, aren't you in a happy mood, Mary Sunshine," Jenn said sarcastically as she covered her ears with her hands. "SOMEONE SHUT IT OFF! Scott! Rich! Get out here!"
"Ughh.." Rich shuffled out of the room, looking like crap run over twice. Scott followed with the same tired expression on his face. After all, it was 2:30 in the morning.
Kelly joined them in the hallway soon after, the alarm still going off at full blast.
"WE NEED TO GET DOWNSTAIRS!" she yelled over the screeching sounds. "If someone broke in, then they're probably caught in one of the booby traps by now! Where's Aubrey?"
"Uhhh – " Kim began, but was elbowed in the side by Jenn. "You mean you don't know? I mean…let's get downstairs!"
Before anyone could say another word, Kim herded the sleepy boys down the stairs, the sounds of the alarm growing louder as they reached the first floor. Aubrey was already there to greet them, holding a towel around her and dripping wet.
Jenn rushed over to the alarm console and punched in the appropriate code that would turn it off. Finally, the evil sounds had ceased, and everyone's ears could stop pounding from the pain.
"What the heck is going on down here?!" Rich asked as he headed towards the living room. "I thought I heard something coming from – what the?"
The rest of the Fromiez rushed after him to see what he was talking about and discovered two very embarrassed people laying on the ground, caught in a huge net that had fallen from the ceiling once the alarm was triggered.
"Sully and David?!" Kim said in disbelief. "What are you guys doing here? More importantly, why'd you break into the house?!"
"We might as well tell them the truth, David," Sully said sadly from her tangled up position on the ground.
"Yeah, it's all out in the open now," he said. "You guys should know – we tried to break in so we could steal The Magic Fro."
A collective gasp from all seven Fromiez sucked nearly all of the air out of the room. They were speechless.
"We started working for Susan Duff, and she wanted to have it," David continued on. "We only took the job as her personal assistants so we could hang out with Hilary, me especially. I'm so in love with her! And I know that she's in love with me too, so we have to keep it a secret from her mom. But anyway, I took the job and so did Sully, but we didn't know she'd have us breaking into your house."
"We're sorry!" Sully said apologetically. "You can keep The Magic Fro. You guys need it more than her anyway."
"But what are you going to tell Susan?" Rich asked curiously. Sully and David looked at each other and shrugged.
"We'll just tell her that you guys came after us and threatened us, and that it's all your fault and that you deserve to be severely punished for the error of your ways," David said simply.
"Oh okay…that sounds good," Rich replied.
"My life is over anyway!" Sully started sobbing uncontrollably. "It doesn't matter what we tell Susan! Everything SUCKS! I'll get fired and have to live on the street as a homeless bum for the rest of my life, and to make matters worse – MY BOYFRIEND WON'T TRY AND KISS ME!
"Uhhhhh…" The Fromiez all stood there, not quite sure what to say. They felt sorry for the girl, but on the other hand she had just broken into their house. And on the other hand, they had no clue what she was talking about. Then they realized that made three hands, which didn't make much sense either. "Sorry about that, Sully," Jenn finally said. "Do you and David want to stay here tonight?"
"What the hell is this, the Holiday Inn?" Kim asked angrily, but was immediately shushed by Jenn. "I mean – sure. You guys can stay here."
Kelly showed David and Sully to their rooms while the other Fromiez trudged back up the stairs and back to bed.
"Goodnight, Jenn….Goodnight Kim…Goodnight Aubrey," Rich was saying as they all passed by him on the way to their rooms. "Goodnight – "
"RICH! Put a cork in it, alright?" Kim snapped at him. "This isn't The Waltons."
"You totally want me, don't you?" Rich asked in a serious tone. "You just want my sex!"
"Screw off!" Kim slammed the door to her room in response.
"These girls are totally hot for us, man," Kee told Rich reassuringly, clapping him on the back. "Did you see the way Jenn was looking at me when I came to the door? She was like, "whoa, Kee looks really fine right now. Mm-hmm!" At that moment Jenn passed by, looking all cute in her green mud mask. "Hey Jenn! How YOU doin'?"
"Ummm….not so good, thanks," she replied in a catty tone before disappearing into her room.
"Yeah, they totally want you, alright," Scott said sarcastically to the two idiotic boys standing in front of him. "Anyone could see that they just practically invited themselves into our room."
"Don't worry, man – they will!" Kee said confidently. "They just need a bit more training, that's all."
Will Aubrey and Kelly catch on to Adam's games before it's too late? Is Kee full of crap? Stay tuned to find out!