"If a person lost would conclude that after all he is not lost, he is not beside himself, but standing in his own old shoes on the very spot where he is, and that for the time being he will live there; but the places that have known him, they are lost,—how much anxiety and danger would vanish." -- Henry David Thoreau

James tumbled out in a cloud of soot and landed unceremoniously on the floor. Luckily, as he was wearing all black, it made little difference. He found himself face to face with a large black dog that he had obviously knocked into when he came out. And from the dog's expression, he had knocked into it rather hard. It growled, and James scrambled back. "Whoa. Shit. Sorry." He shook his head. "And now I'm talking to a dog. Next thing you know, I'll be having tea with a bloody Jabberwocky," he muttered.

If he hadn't known better, he'd have thought that the dog understood him as it cocked its head to the side inquisitively.

"Are you alright?" asked a gentleman in navy blue robes with graying light brown hair. He held out his hand as if to pull James to his feet.

As James took it, another flash of memories hit him and he flinched. Breathing heavily, James rode the resulting headache pain and pulled away. He then looked back into the other man's face.

"Are you okay?" he asked kindly.

"Don't touch me."

"What?" the man asked. "Why?"

"I don't know. But why do I know that your name is Remus Lupin?" James asked, finally realizing where the face had come from. It was in his sketchbook.

"I have no idea," the man said, stepping back in shock.

"Fuck," he breathed. "Then you're Albus Dumbledore, aren't you?" he said, turning to a man who resembled the elderly man he had drawn earlier too.

There were only 3 wizards in the pub then, and two witches, not including the innkeeper. One was the man he knew as Remus Lupin. The second was Albus Dumbledore. Third was the man who had helped him reach his vault in Gringotts. Both of the witches had reddish hair, but one was much older than the other.

"Yes. My name is Albus Dumbledore," the man said, smiling knowingly.

James walked closer cautiously and held out the parchment. "I don't have a clue what the rest of these mean, but so far, I am 4 for 7 today."

"Perhaps we should adjourn to a more private location to discuss this further, James O'Brien," he said.

"How the hell do you know my name?" James asked

"I have been waiting to meet you for nearly a day," Albus said. "Remus, please escort Mr. O'Brien to my office, and Minerva, show the Weasleys to the Common Room so that they can see Frederick, George and Virginia while they are here."

James nodded, and the dog's tail brushed his leg accidentally. James shuddered and sucked in a deep breath. "And maybe you can explain what is going on here?"

James sat in Albus Dumbledore's office less than a half hour later, in a large armchair. His blue eyes flashed dangerously as Remus paced, waiting for Albus to appear. James finally gave in and pulled out the bottle of black nail polish that was in his rucksack. He tried his CD player, but it didn't seem to be working.

Remus stopped pacing as his nose detected the odor of nail polish and looked James over again. James was wearing black Doc Martens, black trousers, another Goth t-shirt, his wristbands, and the now infamous tattoo. Remus nearly shook his head at the black eyeliner and nail polish as James said, "Well, Jeez. At least I haven't pierced anything yet!"

"How much do you know about me, James?" Remus asked, as he recovered from the shock of seeing a boy put on nail polish.

"Two words for you, Mr. Lupin. Full moon."

Remus winced, and the dog that had accompanied him to the office growled again. "Padfoot, stop that. He's just being honest. You're not afraid of me?"

"Of you? No. You're rather trustworthy, and it takes a lot for me to say that about other people. And for some reason, you are rather familiar. Of your dog, there? Absolutely terrified," James said, blowing on his nails.

"Padfoot? Why?"

"The memories that I got from him when his tail touched me were some of the scariest things that I can remember. The… uh… Dementors, especially. And besides. He's not really a dog, are you, Sirius Black?" James asked, turning to the dog with the last sentence.

The dog looked from Remus to James in mixed shock and horror. He transformed back just as Albus walked in. "How did you?"

"Hell if I know, but today is the most I have figured out in one day in the past nine months."

"What do you mean, James?" Albus asked.

"Mum – my adopted mum – says I have amnesia. She's a psychiatrist, so I am inclined to believe her. Of course, she claims that it was a severe defense mechanism after intense emotional trauma and physical abuse. I always thought that my defense mechanism of choice was swearing profusely at every opportunity," he said smiling. "But seriously, there is a lot that happened before July that I can't remember with any clarity."

"I see. James, with your permission, I am going to tell you what I know, but first I'd like you to show me what was in the bag that you are carrying."

James opened the tan bookbag and out fell two textbooks (Standard Book of Spells Grade 5 and Dueling: Because Your Life Depends on It.), a piece of blank parchment, a bag of owl treats, a leather-bound photo album, a silvery cloak and a wand. Remus picked up the photo album and handed it to Albus, who looked through it and smiled.

"James, #5 and 6 on this parchment are spells. One, the word Glamourie is a spell used to alter part of one's appearance, and the other is used to obscure memories to make someone able to have a fresh start. You see, about 9 months ago, one of my students disappeared, without a trace, after an altercation with his family. I have reason to believe that you are this student. And you have returned to us at the time that we need you the most," he explained. "With your permission, James, I would like to remove the two spells that I believe have been placed upon you."

James put his head in his hands and sighed. "For the love of all that is holy and sacred in this world. Look, until I met Hermione and Ron, I didn't believe in any of this magic stuff. So explain more clearly what is going to go on. Will it hurt? Will I lose the memories I have gained since July?"

"Removing the spells shouldn't hurt much worse than it does when you experience a side effect of Vita Nova that you have been demonstrating. It's rather rare that someone has such a reaction to touch as you do. And your memories will be unaffected by the reversal," Albus said, quieting James. "Are you willing to allow it?"

"Why not?"

Dumbledore pulled his wand and took a deep breath before saying, "Revealo Vita antiquus et finite glamourie."

James was hit by a bolt of blue light and fell forward out of the chair onto his hands and knees. His hair color changed to a dark brown, but no other changes were visible. After several shuddering breaths, he shook his head and said, "Merlin, Headmaster, that was worse than Cruciatus."

Then he lifted his eyes, revealing verdant eyes and said, "Hello Professors, hi Padfoot."

Sirius dropped to his knees in shock and hugged his godson. "Gods, Harry. I thought I'd lost you!"

James/Harry leaned in, avoiding skin-to-skin contact, but glad for the return to his godfather's side.

The older man hugged him as if believing Harry to vanish if he let go for one second. "What the hell were you thinking?!?"

"I believe I was more concerned with getting out of the house on Privet Drive to do any actual thinking that night. At least, until I made it to the Leaky Cauldron, I didn't really think that much. I was in too much pain."

"What happened?" Remus asked concerned.

"I don't want to talk about it, Professor Lupin," Harry replied, lowering his head.

"Tell us, Harry," Sirius said, before Albus could intercede.

"I took a swing at Vernon and broke my arm," Harry said, hoping that they would leave well enough alone.

"Why? What did he say?"

"Nothing," Harry mumbled.

"Then what did he do?" Sirius asked angrily, as he had never had to work so hard to get an answer out of his godson.

"He… lost his job at the beginning of summer hols. And since there was no one to take his frustrations out on but me, he did."

Remus' face became a mask of shock. "Merlin."

Sirius's face just clouded with anger. "Where? Show me."

"Um… my back, and my wrists." Harry lifted the shirt where Sirius could see thin silver-white scars and reddish weals. He put it back, and was crushed into another hug from Sirius.

"I'm so sorry, Harry. This is all my fault," Sirius breathed, as tears came to both black haired men for the pain that Harry had suffered. "Why didn't you contact us as soon as this happened? We would have gotten you out of there immediately."

"I didn't want you to get in any more trouble, Sirius. I just couldn't stay there any longer, and I couldn't think of anywhere to go in the wizarding world that would be safe. Any person that I went to stay with as Harry Potter would have been the next… Cedric," Harry choked, pushing away from his godfather. "Something's happened, hasn't it?"

Albus pulled a piece of black-edged paper from the top drawer of his desk. "This was found where two of our students were last seen. Ms…"

"Hermione and Ron. I know. It was Voldemort, wasn't it?"

"We believe so, but we don't know quite how he got to them."

Harry took the letter from Dumbledore's hand. "'Dumbledore, I have Potter's friends. You have 7 days to send him to me using the enclosed Portkey. Send him alone or they will be killed. Voldemort.' Ron and Hermione are in trouble. Must be Tuesday."

"We can't let you go, Harry," Remus whispered.

"What choice do I have? He asked coldly, pacing the floor and pounding his fist into his palm. "If I don't go, they'll die.

"And if you do go, you could be killed or captured," Sirius replied.

"If it were me mum and da, you'd go, wouldn't you?"

It was only then that Sirius noticed Harry was speaking with an Irish accent, but it was more pronounced when he was upset.

"Look, I'm going. Their lives will nae be on my head. If I can save them, I have to try," Harry said, his pacing becoming like that of a caged animal. "No one else dies because of me. I owe my friends that much."

"We've only got 3 days before Voldemort's deadline is up. There's no way you could be ready to fight him and survive."

Harry picked up the Standard Book of Spells off the floor and opened it to the page that held the Somnius charm. In the margin was scribbled in Harry's messy handwriting, "Banishing Soul Energies. Page 643."

"I left myself clues before I left so that I could fight him at any time," Harry replied. "I figured out once that Voldemort only survived in soul form until he met up with Quirrell. And after a Kiss, no magical power exists in a person. So I researched hexes I could use to kill his soul, as that would render him powerless, save for the influence of necromancy."

"Harry, banishing a person's soul is Darkest magic. It merits Azkaban as punishment for use," Remus whispered to him.

"I know, but I spent so much time in the library last year, and that was the best I could come up with."

Albus moved closer to Harry. "Your alternative is not to go. And to not go would be against your nature. We cannot make you stay if you decide to face him. But I personally disagree with that decision."

Harry had grown, in terms of height, muscle and sheer force of will. He faced his former Headmaster with a withering stare that James had used with Father Corday once when he was being unfair. Remus and Sirius could almost see the man falter. "So noted, Headmaster. But there are two things that I should like to point out. One, I disagreed with your decision to send me back to the Dursleys this past summer. I went anyways, because I trusted your judgment over mine, and you have seen the results. Two, you are not now, nor have you ever been my guardian. Right now, Grace and Liam O'Brien are. So, while I respect your age, experience and position, I completely reject your opinion. Because it's not worth much to me any more."

"Harry!" Sirius reproved harshly.

"So you care to be next, Sirius?" Harry asked, barely containing his fury towards the two of them. "I've got a great deal of anger at the world that I haven't gotten out in the past 15 years and Grace has been advising me to get rid of it. It's why I took up rugby at my best friend Jon's suggestion."

Remus moved closer to Harry gently. "Harry, I know a hell of a lot about anger. But you can't let it consume you."

Harry stiffened as he heard the whispers, then wandlessly summoned the items back into his bag. He strode from the office without a word.

Sirius stared after him and shook his head.

"What is it, Sirius?"

"Albus, did I ever show you the note he sent me before he disappeared?"

"No."

Sirius handed the Headmaster a tattered, yellowed piece of parchment.

'Dear Sirius, I hate to be awfully trite, but by the time you read this, I will be gone. I left the Dursleys at 7 pm, and by 10 am, I will be gone from the Leaky Cauldron too.

'I am tired, Sirius. Tired of fame and false love, of loneliness and heartbreak, of pain and suffering without end. I am tired of death, and I am tired of those who expect me to save the entire world on my own. How am I supposed to do that? I'm only 14.

'You have shown me love, friendship and support without boundary or exception. And for that, I thank you with all my heart.

'I don't know quite where I will go, or if I will return, but I am too trapped here to breathe easily. I have already done an anti-locator charm on myself, so neither the Ministry nor Voldemort will find me. And I don't want you looking. If you find me, you will find me much altered and very angry at the intrusion.

'I love you very much. Take care of Remus for me please.

'Harry.'

"He was right. Much altered, and angry at the intrusion," Sirius breathed.

--00--

So anyways, I suck for not updating this. I am a grab-ass-tic piece of amphibian shit.

Enough with that.

Thank you all for reviewing… I reiterate the former statement. I suck.

Thought you ought to know…