Fuck……..
Eddy slumped back to in his chair and held his forearm up to his face. Red slashes were all across it, and those red slashes were bleeding.
The look on Eddy's face was not that of horror, depression, or even regret. The look on his face was mixed of only two things: Curiosity and Satisfaction.
"Heh……." Escaped through his lip as he put his arm down.
While his body lay there, unsure of what to do next after this attack on its outer layer of protection, Eddy's mind was in an insane state, buzzing with words.
"Well, well……haven't we been here before?" It said.
Eddy pressed his lips together and closed his eyes.
"Look at you. You're happy, aren't you? This is the only thing you're sure off anymore: If you cut, they shall bleed. That's the only thing certain in your life, isn't it, Eddy?"
Eddy closed his eyes tighter.
"Now you're really thinking about it, aren't you? How she left you for him."
"No……she didn't…." Eddy said aloud to himself.
"Of course she did. She just told you that over the phone didn't she?"
"Only because I asked……"
"Because of all the things HE'S been saying. How she cheated on you with him. How they constantly fucked while you were still madly in love with her."
"Stop……"
"I'm only telling you the truth, Eddy. They were an item. They had been before. It was only a week after she dumped you that she fucked him. One week."
"SHUT UP!" Eddy screamed to the ground.
"And what does he do to her? He yells at her, he tells her that he hopes she rots in hell whenever she misses a call. And they're not even a fucking couple. They just fucked behind your back."
"Please……stop…."
"Fucked her brains out. He treats her like shit. Hopes all the men in her life die. You too. But not because he hates you, because he feels sorry for you. Because she loves him more then she could ever love you."
Tears began to stream down Eddy's cheeks as he breathed in and out harshly.
"He's hurt her so much. But she loves him anyways. She loves him more then you. If she was to choose between you two, she wouldn't give you a second glance."
"What have you done to deserve this? Is that what you're asking yourself? Nothing. You never cheated, you never lied, all you ever did for her was love her, try to help her, and tried to keep her happy. That's all you ever did."
"That's all…….that's all I ever did….."
"That's all. Nothing wrong with that. But apparently it wasn't enough for her. She wanted him. Because he's better then you."
"Nooo……."
"Yes, he is. Why else would she choose him? Give her all the things you've ever wanted; like joy, comfort and love?"
"…………love………?"
"Love, Eddy. That's all you want. To be loved, for someone to actually give a damn about you. But you don't have that. You don't. She doesn't care about you."
"……..She does…….."
"You think she still has feelings for you, don't you?"
Eddy was sobbing now, hands behind his head, doubled over at the stomach.
"You're an idiot. She used you that night. And the one after. And the one after. Why? Because you're easy. She needed a fix, and you were there to give it to her."
"God……"
"You thought it meant something, didn't you? DIDN'T YOU?! You thought she actually gave a fuck about your feelings, didn't you?! SHE USED YOU, EDDY."
"NO!!!! NO SHE DIDN'T!!!" Eddy screamed into the air.
"Yea, keep telling yourself that. That and how she didn't mean to act like nothing had happened, how it was just a 'fluke'. You're hopeless. You still love her and you can't let go."
"Shut up…"
"Just let go, Eddy….."
"Shut up."
"Let go."
"SHUT UP…."
"That's all you have to do; just let go…"
"SHUT UP!"
"JUST LET THE FUCK GO, EDDY!!!"
"SHUT UP!!!!!"
Eddy then grabbed the razor he had already slashed himself with and sliced at himself at least a dozen more times.
Eddy began crying again, silently. He curled up in his chair and cried, deep sobbing breathes following.
"Good, Eddy. Good."