Author: Xionin
Rating: R or NC-17, eventually
Summary: Set mid-season 6. Begins at the end of 'Once More With Feeling'.
Buffy needs something to make her feel alive, but she already has something, if she'll only open her eyes.
Disclaimer: Joss Whedon, Fox, Inc. and Mutant Enemy own BtVS and its characters. I just treat them better.
Feedback: Oh god, please send it. I'm a starving artist. [xionin@beautiful-freak.com]
Thank you: Maribel, you're an amazingly sweet and generous person and the most amazing beta EVER.
Pepperlandgirl, you're an inspiration.
=Part Five=
The soft rise and fall of his chest is what makes Buffy wake up smiling some twenty minutes later. Spike's tendency to breathe, even in his sleep she now knows, has always been one of the traits that both infuriated her and amused her.
It's just so...normal.
Well, to be fair, all of her concepts of 'normal' are carefully being deconstructed in this new life she's returned to. She is fairly certain that she doesn't even live in the same state as normal. And glancing up at the impossibly thick eyelashes fluttering against the marble skin of her would be lover, she has to admit that 'normal' may very well be overrated.
Spike knows from the change in her breathing and in her heart rate, that she is awake. He knows that she is watching him. He just pretends to be asleep because he doesn't want this moment to end.
He awoke a few minutes before her and had all but pinched himself to reassure that this isn't a dream. He'd watched her for a while, memorizing every minute detail of this night; etching the feeling of her, the scent...the taste, into his mind and heart to hold on to forever. Because this can't last. This...this taste of heaven can only be just that: a taste. Spike doesn't even dare to dream that his golden goddess would ever...could ever...
He's just grateful that she cares even a little. And she does. He can see it in her eyes and that knowledge alone affords him more happiness that he ever thought he'd be granted. So he'd watched her and when he'd felt her stir, he'd closed his eyes and pretended to be asleep; to prolong this moment for as long as possible. It's when she stretches her neck and places a light kiss on the side of his mouth that his eyes pop open.
"I didn't wake you, did I?" Her voice is soft and intimate. Spike begins to shiver anew.
"Nah, pet. I was just..." He sighs.
"Just what?" She idly begins tracing patterns across his bare chest.
"Nothin" He sighs again and she laughs, moving up on her side and propping herself up on her elbow.
"Ok, that's two sighs and a nothing." She flashes him a smile. "Spill." He narrows his eyes at her for a moment, taken off-guard by her jovial demeanor.
"I...well...I was just...basking is all." He shrugs.
"Basking?" She raises her eyebrows.
"Uh...yeah, pet. I...uh...this is...well..." Buffy breaks out into a huge smile while he fumbles for words.
"Nice?" She prompts.
"A right bit better than nice, Buffy." He returns her smile and pulls her onto him. She rests her head over his heart and sighs contentedly. "This is...right." He mumbles the last word.
"It's what?" She lifts her head to look at him.
"Nothing." He tightens his hold on her a bit. "S' nice." Buffy resumes her position on his chest.
"Yeah, it is." She smiles into his chest. "Earlier was...um...nice...too." He can feel the heat of her blush against his cool flesh. He smiles as he runs his hands across her skin, still surprised at the softness; the warmth.
"Yeah." He breathes. Just one tiny memory of what had transpired between them is enough to stir his arousal.
---------------
"Where?" He kisses the dimple of her left collarbone, lightly flicking his tongue over the hard, smooth ridge.
"Mmmm...there. Right...there." He pulls her upright, and in one swift but gentle move, lifts the camisole off her body. He lowers her back to the bed, his lips resuming their journey across her skin.
"Where else have you never been kissed, Buffy?" Oh...he said her name. God, how could he make such a stupid name sound so...so...
"Oh! Never...never there...never..." She shivers as Spike runs the tip of his tongue up her side, beginning at her hip and ending at the curve of her breast, planting light kisses along the way. He memorizes every inch, every millimeter...and every sound of her delight.
----------------
"You make me feel so beautiful." He worships her breasts with his mouth and hands, suckling and nibbling the soft mounds.
"You are beautiful, luv." He turns his shining eyes to hers. "The most beautiful thing I've ever seen." She smiles. He leans in to kiss her and the butterflies in her stomach multiply from hundreds to thousands. Their mouths meet in mutual exploration of the other's desire; an inferno of want and need.
----------------
Spike is working his way down her body in slow, sure movements. He deftly slides her underwear down her smooth legs and resumes his former path of discovery.
"Where else?" Buffy is finding it hard to form coherent thoughts with all of the sensations he is instilling. She moans as he laps at the soft flesh of her belly.
"Never there." She whispers as he moves even lower.
----------------
"Yes. Yes. Yes. Yessss." He is kissing her in places she hadn't known even existed. The things he can do with his tongue should be illegal, she thinks to herself. Of course, she's willing to break that law if he'll just keeping doing...
"Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh...migod." ...that. It's just a tongue, just a mouth, but oh...how talented he is. Probing, sucking, licking, nipping. Everything at just the right time; with just the right amount of pressure to make her...
"Uhhn. Uhnn. Uhnn. Uhnngrahhh." Colors. So many colors. And the lights, they're building up to something huge. Something enormous that threatens to swallow her whole. It frightens her, it's so huge. And he's making those sounds, like she is crème bruleè; like she is ambrosia. Making her feel so...
"Spike. Spike. Spike. Spike!" Ah she's coming! And she's calling his name. HIS name is on her lips. Gotta make it last. Slip a finger inside. Find that soft spot. Feel her tremble against his hand again. Make her shake. Wear her out with the pleasure. Give her so much. Make her feel so good. Yes. That's it. Just like that.
"Oh Buffy." Spike breathes against her flesh, savoring the taste and smell of her; the sound of his name on her lips.
----------------
"You should go home soon." Spike pulls her closer to him, draping her arm across his waist while she rests her head on her new favorite spot: his chest. He hates the words as they leave his mouth, but he knows she'll want to be there when Dawn wakes up. Buffy stiffens against him, but then relaxes as she realizes he's only thinking of her and Dawn. As always.
"Yeah, I...probably should." She snuggles even closer, loathing the thought of leaving his side. His bed.
"Niblet'll be wondering if I've gone nasty on you." His voice maintains the low intimacy that has grown between them over the course of the night.
This is the stuff dreams are made of. His beautiful girl in his arms. Her scent, their scents mingled in the air; on the sheets. They haven't made love, not in the traditional sense of the word, but he's had a taste of paradise. He never wants to let go, and he prays to whoever will hear him that she won't push him away. Not after this. Absentmindedly he tightens his hold on her.
"Breathing. Issue." She sputters, half-laughing. He relents a little, muttering an apology and kissing her head. She understands his silent desperation, because she thinks that she may feel it too.
What will happen when she walks out of that door? Will she be able to let her guard down and let him in? Let them take the journey that they've so obviously begun together tonight?
She wants desperately to believe that the answer is 'yes'. But denso-Buffy has a strange way of taking over sometimes. A lot of times, actually. Boy, how she wishes that Buffy would just curl up and die.
Sighing heavily, she makes a move to get off him. He stops her by taking her face in his hands.
"Before you
go." He smiles as his eyes fall onto her lips. He gently presses his to
hers and Buffy can feel the doubts melting away. There's no way she can give
this up; this...joy. And that's what it is: A joy of life; of living. And it
all comes from him.
Buffy cradles his head in her hands and she feels his moan against her mouth
as she parts her lips for him.
The kiss deepens.
It is a conversation that is taking place between them; one without words, which suits her fine since she's never been very good with them. She can use this language - learn it from his lips - and communicate things she never thought she could.
It's when he softly ends the kiss and looks deep into her eyes, smiling a sad smile at her pending departure, that she realizes what that language is.
Love.
She blinks hard and swallows as a new panic sets in.
Could she be falling
in love with him? That would either be the most wonderful thing ever,
or a horrible, egregious mistake.
She chooses not to decide right now. Instead she smiles and gently extricates herself from him. Spike watches her slow movements as she replaces her clothing. He'd sensed the shift in her when the kiss ended. Something in her face had changed; her body language too...just for a split second. He wants to ask, but realizes that she isn't ready to tell. Yet. So he lets it go.
"I'll, uh..." She stands there fully dressed, while addressing a naked Spike wrapped only in a sheet. He looks positively decadent; like the finest piece of marble every turned into a work of art. The sight of him chases whatever thought she had away.
"See me later?" He supplies and smiles at her response to him. She wants him, as if that weren't plain enough and that thrills him, but there's something more. Something else in her eyes now.
"Y-yes, um, definitely. Later. And we can..."
"Talk." He finishes for her.
"Yes. Talk." She smiles, easing down from her high. He nods. She walks towards the ladder and he sits upright. He wants to walk her to the door, but the raging erection he now has may spoil her plans to leave...at least he hopes it would. But he knows she needs to speak with her sister.
"Bye, Spike. Thanks for...for everything." She smiles warmly.
"Anytime, Buffy." He gazes at her thoughtfully and she climbs the ladder to the floor above. When he hears the front door close softly behind her, he exhales a breath he'd been holding.
Flopping down onto his back he stares at the ceiling, relishing in the slow smile that spreads across his face.
Tonight he'd re-introduced himself to Lady Hope. Replaying the night's events in slow motion through his mind, he hopes that she isn't a terribly fickle lady.
TBC
A/N Whee! You guys are making this so much fun for me. Really, I cannot thank you enough for all of your kind words.
Julie -
I'm really glad that you're enjoying the ride. Like you, I can't wait to see
where these characters take me next.
Hils - The heat is on baby. Wait'll you see what's in store. ;]
Mary Rose - You like? So glad. Now go grab a glass of lemonade, honey.
Mar ala - I love the way you see straight through what's going on. Yeah,
this is about much more than sex. Much, much more. And I hope to delve into what
it really means for these two to be together. But...first things first.
Ranaslayer - I hope to keep the window open for a little while longer.
There are some things that I've never seen between these two, and I'm not just
talking about the lovin' ;) , I hope to explore them a little more. I hope you
enjoy what I have in mind.
jude space - Yeah, there are just some words that are not part of my normal
lexicon. I'll have to tinker a bit to come up with the right combo. But I'm glad
my original intention wasn't lost in the verbage.
Coquine - The best idea for a fic ever? Wow, thanks I think. [haha] Hopefully
I am doing it justice. Glad you like!
Kumi - Hope your knees are feeling better, lol. You're gonna need them
for what I have planned. You may want to have a seat. ;]
Lia - See, that's what I love about Spike. He has so many facets to his
personality - sexy, shy, sweet, aggressive, pensive, insightful, silly, passionate...he's
like 10 guys wrapped up into one. *sigh*
Til next time!
~Xionin