His claim to his home is deep, but there are too many ghosts. He must absorb without being absorbed. -- Willie Morris "Coming on Back"
Harry walked towards the Library, knowing that Remus was right. But, God, they had hurt him. Everyone in that office had, knowingly or unknowingly. Sirius had chosen Peter to be his parent's Secret Keeper and hadn't told anyone, which deprived Harry of his parents and godfather. Remus had forgotten his potion the night that they had captured Wormtail, and prevented Sirius' exoneration. Albus had sent him to the Dursleys and made his life hell. But Remus and Sirius had never and would never willingly hurt him. Shit, he was confused. Harry leaned against the wall and slid down to the floor, head in hands again. What have I become? Who am I really? "Who am I?" he wondered aloud.
"I don't really know, but you're right in my way," came a lilting Irish brogue from above him.
Harry looked up through reddened, tearful eyes and hoped his eyeliner wasn't running as he saw Seamus and Dean standing over him. The pair hadn't changed a bit. Dean was still tall and had a dazzling smile, and Seamus was still covered in freckles, and likely still exploding water. "It was a bloody rhetorical question, Seamus," he replied exasperated.
"Do you know us?" Dean asked.
"Bloody hell. The muggle clothes and the accent throw more people off than the glamour did." Harry swept back his hair and winced mildly at the subsequent gasps.
"Harry, mate! What are you doing here? Where have you been?"
"I came back because I heard about Ron and Hermione. But where I've been is a bit more complicated than that."
"Why are you dressed like that, Harry?" Seamus asked.
"You don't think I look good?"
"Scary, more like. Like a Slytherin would, if he was a Muggle," Dean said.
"Well, just because you're my friends doesn't mean you can insult me," Harry sighed. "You guys got some time to talk?"
"Well, it's the last class of the day, but we've got Divinations…" Dean said.
"Screw Divinations," Seamus retorted. "It's complete crap."
"If it's complete crap, then why did she say that a Dark wizard would return to our school in May? It's obviously Harry," Dean countered, thumping Harry on the shoulder.
"Or maybe she smoked some of my marijuana," Harry laughed.
"What?" Dean asked sharply.
"Again with the 'bit more complicated' part," Harry replied getting to his feet. "Right now, I need to go to the Library before the Staff figures out what I'm up to."
Dean scratched his head and asked, "What do you need from the Library?"
"From the two of you? A distraction."
Two mischievous grins were his response. "Oh, we're good at that, Harry."
About 10 minutes later, Harry had all the books from the Restricted Section that he needed from his list in the Standard Book of Spells. The three walked back to Gryffindor Tower and Harry talked about leaving the Dursleys, but carefully avoided the reasons. "So here I was, sitting on a street corner in Reading, without any memory of who I was, or what had happened to me and Grace, the woman who became my mum, stumbled upon me and took me in. So she took me to her house and she and her husband adopted me as a son. I've got a one-year-old baby brother, named Patrick, and I go to a Catholic boarding school not more than 50 miles from here, just across the England-Scotland border. I started playing rugby, and my roommate is my best friend and teammate. I sort of wish that you could meet him. Anyways, here's where it gets weird."
"Yeah. It's not weird now…"
"Shut up. Guess who my next door neighbor was, in Reading?"
"The Queen Mother?" Dean asked.
"No. Hermione. I didn't remember who she was, but I still made friends with her. And Ron came over during the summer. So they both know me as Harry and as James."
The apparent weirdness of the situation dawned on the pair. Dean continued. "And the whole marijuana-Goth thing?"
"Right," Harry said, laughing. "I… sort of messed up the Vita Nova spell. It's a bit difficult, you know. So anyways, I remembered general feelings of depression, sadness, guilt, rejection, and pain. I managed to keep those for some reason. Grace tells me that I 'acted out in a marginally acceptable fashion to manifest my darker feelings in a way so that the world would know to leave me alone.'"
"And…"
"And the people I hung out with this summer when Hermione was busy smoked pot. They gave me my own little stash and I had a joint every once in a while. But I quit in August. It's something of a release, as you can guess," Harry replied sheepishly.
"So you were happy in your life as James?"
"Aye, I was."
"You know, Harry," Seamus said laughing. "I think this is the best I have ever heard you speak."
"Oi! Shut up. My name's James Edward O'Brien. Like I wouldn't be Irish?"
They reached the portrait hole and Harry donned his Invisibility Cloak. "OWLs are important."
"Don't tell me, Hermione's influence?" Harry asked, shaking his head.
"She made Prefect." Dean said, walking to the 5th year dorms. He opened the door and ushered the two in, before locking it and putting up a silencing charm.
Harry noted sadly that his bed had been removed. Where there had once been 5 sets of furniture, there were now 4. Proof that things really had changed, Harry thought. Shaking his head, he threw his things on what he thought was Ron's bed and pulled a chair out, swung it around and sat in front of Dean's bed. "Here's where it goes from weird to surreal. Last night, I had a dream that Ron and Hermione had been kidnapped, but I didn't know by whom. I know now that it was Voldemort, but I didn't then because of the memory charm. When I woke up, I found my Gringott's key and grabbed it. Then I Apparated to Diagon Alley and followed the trail of clues I had left, which led me back here. Dumbledore took the memory charm and glamour off. I found out who had them, and I flipped out. Yelled at Dumbledore, and my godfather and then you found me."
"Your godfather?"
"Oh, right. My godfather is Sirius Black, and he's innocent."
They looked at him. "So how much marijuana did you smoke?"
"No. We knew this after 3rd year," Harry replied, realizing how little he had told his other dormmates about his adventures.
"Why'd you yell at them?"
"Well, I found a way to kill Voldemort, but they think it will kill me."
"Why do they think that?"
Harry pulled out the book entitled Banishing Soul Energies.
"Merlin's beard. That's some seriously heavy stuff, mate. Dangerous in the extreme," Seamus said.
"What do you mean, Seamus?" Dean whispered.
"Muggleborns…" he sighed. "In order for a Dark Soul to be banished, the spell caster must be his polar opposite. He or she must be of the purest, noblest heart, with all the power of Light magic at his/her disposal. Otherwise, the soul can transfer bodies. And kill Harry," Seamus said. "They're right. It's awfully risky."
"I know." Harry breathed. "But I don't know anything else that will work, before he can A-K me."
"Then tell me what you're fighting for." Seamus said.
Harry said nothing. He pulled out a picture from his wallet. "Grace, Liam, Trick, and me at Christmas. I'll fight to protect them. Ron and Hermione. You two. Everyone who knows me."
"Wow. Well put," Dean said, nodding his head appreciatively. "You have the chance to do what your parents did. To protect and fight for those who you love. It sucks, but if that's what you have to do, then it's what you have to do."
Harry smiled at the two teens in front of him. "Hell, why can't we be the grownups? Our decisions make tons more sense," he asked sincerely.
"We will be someday. But until then, what do you say we have a little fun with the Slytherins with the help of a few items from Fred and George?"
Harry took out his wand and recast the Glamourie, which caused Dean and Seamus to do a double take.
"You know, we didn't recognize you without the spell. You ought to be fine without the disguise."
"This is the twins you're talking about. They've known me since 1st year as well. And I wouldn't put it past them," Harry/ James replied.
"Whatever you say, mate."
The three of them walked to the 7th floor dorms, where they found the twins, Ginny and Lee Jordan sitting on one of the beds. "What is it, Seamus?" Ginny asked.
"Well, Dean and I met up with an old buddy of ours, and we thought we would prank the Slytherins with him, while he was visiting. We just need some supplies," Seamus responded, indicating James at the right point and winking when the word 'supplies' was brought up.
Ginny rolled her eyes, while the boys adopted mischievous grins.
James strode forward and shook their hands. "My name is James. You two must be the infamous Fred and George. And Lee Jordan. And this is?"
"Ginny Weasley. Their sister."
"So what'd you three have in mind?"
"Dungbombs, Electric Fudge and a couple of Canary Creams."
"We've got something better," George said, his grin moving from mischievous to wicked. He grabbed a few potions bottles from underneath the frame of his bed, and handed them to each co-conspirator.
The seven traipsed to the kitchen, mostly because James was dragging Ginny by the wrist just for the fun of it. After the house elves divulged where the Slytherin table's food was, they poured the potion in all of the food and drink that they could.
"So where you from, James?"
"Well, my school's just south of here, but my parents live in Reading."
"School?"
"Yeah. St. Ignatius Preparatory College. It's a Muggle school." He smiled. "I'm considered a bit of a hellion there. Always in trouble with the Jesuits, but they like me cause I'm good at sports."
"Who or what are the Jesuits?" Ginny asked, carefully standing off to the side.
"The teachers. Catholic priests and brothers. You won't believe how much some Muggles can rival what I've heard about this McGonagall person."
Dean and Seamus laughed.
"Done." Fred tucked the bottle back into his pocket. "Let's run."
As they left the kitchen, with James stealing a pastry or two, a warm voice came from behind them. "James."
James froze. "Shit," he whispered. "Professor Lupin."
"We've been looking for you."
"I know, it's just I needed to think. And the office wasn't helping my disposition." James smiled. "I do need to apologize to you three for being an arsehole."
"Who, James?" Fred asked.
"Remus, my godfather and your headmaster. I sort of went off earlier. Must be my Irish side," he added as Seamus and Dean gawked.
"Didn't know you had the stones for that, mate. Didn't know anyone did," Dean said.
"Wait. You just said that you're a Muggle. Why were you talking to the Headmaster?" Ginny asked.
James flinched.
"Does anyone know?" Remus asked, in hushed tones.
"Just Dean and Seamus. They saw me without the glamour and we talked for a while."
"Ah. And no one else?"
"No."
"Okay. Albus has prepared a room for you and wanted to speak with you after dinner." He ignored Ginny's still unanswered question. "He also asked that you give me your wand."
"Hell. And I suppose that my godfather wants it too?" He rubbed his forehead.
"As a matter of fact, yes. He does."
James sighed and pulled out his wand. "Fine."
Seamus saw James expression and knew that it was like asking for a wizard's arm to be ripped off. A bunch of Slytherins walked by and knocked Seamus forward into James.
James flashed through Seamus' mind and brought both hands to his head.
"James!" Remus said, pulling him away from Seamus, the wand dropping to the floor.
James slumped against a wall, sucking in deep breaths. "Why is it still happening if the enchantment was removed?"
"I don't know. But you're going to the Hospital Wing." Remus picked up the wand and guided James by the shoulder away from the students.
Seamus shared a Look with Dean and followed the professor and James. "James, what is it?"
"Seamus, remember I told you about reading people when I was trying to get here? Well, it appears I can still do it, even after getting my memory back. And it should have stopped by now," James replied, rubbing his right temple.
"That's what we thought too. I don't understand. What other enchantments did you use?" Remus asked.
"Well, the magic masking spell, anti-locator spells, a couple of size charms on my trunk, a vision repairing spell, the Vita Nova, and the glamourie," James said, racking his brain. "I think that's it, Remus. It's been 9 months, so I don't really remember."
"Okay," Remus said, pulling him towards the gargoyle and summoning Albus. "Headmaster, he just read Seamus."
Albus saw the fear in James' eyes. "I'm sorry, Headmaster. It was an accident," he said, and Seamus nodded.
"I know you are, my boy," he said, taking James by the shoulder, as Remus had earlier, but consciously avoiding physical contact. "Mr. Finnegan, I will see to Mr. O'Brien. You may return to the tower until dinner."
Seamus gave him a meaningful look.
"It's okay, Seamus. Any luck, I'll be joining you for dinner."
"I'm going to go get your godfather. We'll meet you there."
"I…"
"You don't have to say anything, James. You've been under considerable stress and with these recent episodes, I cannot see how else you could have responded to our mixed messages," he said, gently, entering the Hospital Wing.
"Albus, what is it?" Madame Pomfrey asked as they entered the ward.
"Poppy, this young man may be suffering from a side effect of a recently cast Vita Nova. Can you examine him without any physical contact?"
She sighed heavily. "I suppose so. Any active enchantments?"
"If you would remove the glamour, James?"
"I would if Remus hadn't already taken my wand and left this area of the castle with it," James replied glibly.
"Thank you for complying with our wishes. Finite Glamourie."
The blonde hair went black again.
"Potter?" she asked in shock.
"Yes."
"Well, let's begin." She pulled her wand and checked for any other charms.
"Harry, has this happened with any Muggles or Muggle objects?" Dumbledore asked.
Harry thought hard and then replied, "No."
"Is that significant, Albus?" Remus asked from the doorway.
"Yes. It might mean that I am only to touch Muggles for the rest of my life," Harry said depressingly.
"Come on, it might not be like that."
"Or it may, Sirius. You don't know any more than I do," he responded hotly, putting his head in his hands, now rapidly becoming his most common expression. "Fuck it all," he whispered.
Remus stepped forward. "Harry, where did you learn to swear like that?"
"That's right, you didn't know. I lived on the streets part of last summer. Until I got from the Leaky Cauldron to Reading, where I met my new family. And after that, I started hanging out with my new friends who cursed every other word." He sighed, looking at them. "We've been over my defense mechanisms, remember?"
"Well, Albus, there's nothing physically wrong with Mr. Potter. No spells that I can detect, it's just that he possesses power orders of magnitude higher than anything I have seen in a student in years. He's almost as powerful as you now, Professor," she whispered.
He nodded. "Thank you, Poppy. Harry, if you decided that you care do go to dinner, please wear long sleeves and a cloak. I still wish to speak to you when you are done."
He conjured a black cloak for Harry and replaced the glamour.
James nodded assent and walked to the Great Hall, where Dean and Seamus were waiting.
"You okay, mate?"
"Yeah, it's just that I read every magical object I come in contact with, excepting my wand and including people. So keep everything and everyone away from me, right now, and I'll be fine," he said, pulling the cloak around himself, defensively.
"Okay. Say the word and we'll kill whoever is messing with you."
James smiled.
Seamus and Dean each grabbed a covered arm and guided James to the Gryffindor table. The twins caught sight of him and smiled.
"James, are you okay?"
"Yes, George. But I'm starving." He sat down and watched as his plate filled with food.
"You never answered my question," Ginny said.
James sighed. "Would you like to know the number of questions I have been asked today, Ginny?"
"Gin, just leave him alone, please?" Dean asked.
"How long now, Fred?" Seamus asked.
"Seven seconds now," he said, checking his watch.
At one, the Slytherins were turned into a veritable boatload of kittens. Stifling snickers, James, Dean and Seamus laughed into their food. The kittens mewed pitifully.
"So, anyone got a name?"
"How about Meow Mix?" James asked, trying not to choke on his pumpkin juice.
"Nice," Dean replied, nodding his head.
Snape stood up and looked around, before saying, "Finite Incantatem." He then glared at the guilty Gryffindors.
"Oh, crap," Seamus said.
"Just play it cool. Let me handle this," James said as Snape came closer. James just scratched his head, and then laced his fingers in front of him.
"I know you five are to blame for this. And I don't know you, but the Headmaster shall hear of this," he said dangerously.
"You know, we've got a bloke like him at St. Iggy's. Father Corday. We once replaced his rosary beads with Mardi Gras beads, because he gave my best friend detention for no good reason," he said, as the Gryffindors laughed. James stood and whispered to Snape. "And you know me. The answer to the first question that you ever asked me is that Wormwood and Asphodel are an integral part of the Draught of Living Death."
Snape's eyes opened a little wider, but then he smiled. "I see. Then the Headmaster shall hear of this." He swept away.
--00--
Well, another chapter. Hope you enjoyed it.
Thanks to all of my reviewers.
As always, read and review.
10-18-03