Fuck……..
Eddy was sick of this game.
It's been a few weeks since Eddy brutally attacked himself with that razor. And he's done it again. But now it was too much.
Eddy had to wear his forest green long sleeved sweater all the time now, so his scars wouldn't show.
~No more drama….no more drama……. ~
Eddy starred at his reflection as his mind dwelled on what was going on in his life.
What had happened between them. With her. How they fooled around, even though she had a boyfriend now. Who lived in another city. 6 hours away.
How they fooled around more then once. At least 5 times.
~Cuz I was young and restless; but that was long ago; I don't want to cry no more~
How the last time it happened they kissed. How they didn't kiss any of the other times.
How kissing was incredibly deep and important to the both of them.
How she snapped her head away after about a minute.
~No more pain, no more; tired of hurting….tired of you playing games with my mind~
How after all this, and how they had gotten so close, not just physically, but emotionally as well, how their conversations had gotten so deep, how they acted like they were in love again, she said it was a mistake.
~No more drama, in my, in my……life…. ~
She said it was a mistake. A big mistake. And now she's with her boyfriend, visiting him in the city he lives in.
Eddy slammed his fist against the mirror, shattering it. As the glass fell against the counter, Eddy sat down on the bathroom floor, holding his bleeding knuckles.
He thought back to when Double D found out just what he was doing, the week ago…
~No more tears; I'm tired of crying every night, no more fears; I'm don't wanna fight~
"Eddy? Eddy, are you in there?" Double D called as he knocked on Eddy's bedroom door.
"Just a minute, Sock Head!" Eddy yelled as he quickly thrust the razor into his dresser drawer, slammed it shut, and pulled on his sweater.
"What is it, Double D?" Eddy asked harshly as he opened the door. Double D starred at Eddy's face for a moment. It seemed somewhat paler then usual.
~Oh no, oh no no more drama, no more drama…..~
Double D shook it off and walked into Eddy's room while saying, "It's almost 1:00 in the afternoon. I wasn't sure if you were awake or not."
Double D got uncomfortably close to Eddy's dresser. Although Eddy knew the chances of Edd finding the blood-stained razor was slim, it was still nerve-racking.
"So I'm awake. What do you want?" Eddy almost shouted. Double D was taken aback by this sudden verbal attack.
"I just wanted to see if we were going to do our usual fruitless attempts of scams today or not, since Ed is currently visiting his great-aunt…..in….."
"What? What?! What are you starring at, Double D?" Eddy was a nervous wreck.
~I'm so tired, I'm so tired~
Double D walked up to Eddy curiously. "Eddy, your sweater appears to have a stain..." Double D stated, looking at the dark stain on Eddy's chest. Before Eddy could say anything, Double D put a hand onto the stain and realized it was wet.
"AGG!" Eddy cried in pain, stepping back. Double D stepped away and looked at his hand. It was red.
"…..Eddy?..." Double D gently said, looking at his wide-eyed friend. Without thinking, Double D grabbed the bottom of Eddy's sweater and quickly pulled it off. What he saw horrified him.
~Wanna speak my mind, wanna speak my mind…~
Eddy's chest was bleeding. It was bleeding from the word, "Worthless" carved into it. Bright red blood was streaming down his stomach.
"….Good lord, Eddy…..what did you do….?" Double D uttered in shock.
Eddy's face was bright red in anger, embarrassment and grief.
"GET OUT!!" Eddy screamed, pointing to his bedroom door. "GET OUT NOW!!!"
Double D walked up to his friend and held him gently, as to not irritate the wound. Eddy broke down and began sobbing into Double D's shoulder.
~I don't know where the story ends~
Eddy looked up at the bathroom ceiling, then at the shattered mirror, then at his hand.
He didn't know how he arrived at this point. He was tired of being there, though.
So what was he gonna do? Commit suicide?
Eddy smiled, despite the terrible pain he held. Suicide was out of the question.
He wasn't strong enough to do such a thing.
~Leave me alone, go ahead~
He knew this was such a pointless thing to go up in arms about, but to him it was everything.
He did everything he could do to make her happy.
~no~
She was going to be back in a couple of days. He hadn't talked to her since she said what had happened was a mistake.
That what they shared was a mistake
~more~
Tears began to form in Eddy's eyes. God was he tired of that. Crying seemed so routine now.
What would he say to her when she got back? What would she say to him?
~drama~
Eddy didn't know what they would say. In truth, Eddy didn't know if he was going to be around by the time they would say those words. Eddy might get strong.
~But I know where the story begins~
Eddy pulled his knees to his chest, which was beginning to scar, and buried his head between his knees and sobbed. How much longer would he be able to take this punishment before he did something irreversible?
~Now you're free from all the pain, free from all the games, free from all the stress~
Eddy didn't know how much longer. He didn't know.
~Free to find your happiness~