**~FAÇADE~**
Detention and Darkness
Hermione was quite upset about getting detention. She was an exemplary student and Snape was a stupid git! The last place she wanted to be walking to was her Potions classroom, but that however was exactly where she was going. A torturous hour had to be spent in her least favorite classroom, with her least favorite professor, and with her least favorite ferret! To say that she was quite put out would be an understatement.
When she finally arrived at the classroom, she found the door shut and locked, so she put her bag down and waited. Pretty soon Malfoy came to the classroom, and she welcomed him with a cold stare.
"What'd I do?"
"Oh shut up Ferret Boy! You've done plenty!" her temper was not exactly at its best right now, as she felt that this detention was given to her unjustly.
"Oh, so now I don't even have to do anything for you to be mad at me? Well that's fine, who cares what a stupid Mudblood thinks anyways?" he shouted at her his voice dripping with annoyance.
As soon as he said it he could see the hurt in her eyes, and he felt guilty. This was so hard, why did she have to start, he hadn't done anything wrong, well that she knew of anyways. It felt so wrong to be mean to her now, knowing what he knew. He decided to go for silence. There were tears in her eyes that she refused to cry and the knowledge that he was hurting her further clawed at his mind. The two stood there silent for a few more minutes before Snape appeared slinking down the hallway wearing his usual surly expression. He let them into the classroom making it very clear that he was disenchanted with both students.
"You will both be doing lines for me," he announced, "Mr. Malfoy, you will write 'I will pay attention in class' and Ms. Granger, you will write 'I will not disrupt Professor Snape's class ever again.' If either of you stop writing, you will receive another detention tomorrow. You will also have completed the lines two hundred times before you may leave, begin."
Both teens sat down and began writing, both aware of the fact that Hemione's sentence was far longer than Draco's. One hour and two hundred and fifty-seven lines later, Hermione left the potions room and sulked off to dinner. She was in a right fury and didn't think she was going to eat too much.
Hermione sat down at the table next to Ron and across from Harry. The two boys greeted her pleasantly, so she smiled at them. She didn't exactly trust her self to show anger. She spooned some pasta onto her plate, and began to push it around with her fork. It was getting dull listening to Harry and Ron's conversation about Quidditch teams and which one had the best shot to win the World Cup. Never having been very interested in sports, she only knew about three teams, and they weren't even being mentioned. Finally Ginny came over and Hermione figured she was saved from boredom, and boy was she right!
"Hi Mione! Ron! Harry!" and as she said Harry's name, she smiled and leaned over for a kiss.
"Ginny!" Hermione gasped, looking to Ron for a similar reaction, but he was beaming proudly, evidently finally agreeing with his sister's choice in men.
Ginny laughed, "Sorry Mione, Harry and I got together this summer when he came to stay at the burrow. We tried to tell you in an owl, but Pig brought all the letters we sent back. And when we saw you yesterday, it didn't come up I guess, you know, old news now."
She nodded silently to show understanding. Hermione hadn't received any owls that summer because her drunken father had practically chased them off with a stick. She had saw Pigwidgon a couple times, but the owl probably refused to return to her house eventually after such rotten treatment. At least Pig never really had to go back. Not like Hermione, she was trapped there. How she had longed to be like Pig that summer and just fly away. But that was impossible.
"Mione?" Ron asked.
"Oh sorry, I must have dazed out. I'm still kinda upset about getting a detention with Snape and all."
"Oyi! How did that go?" asked Ginny animatedly.
"My hand feels like its about to fall off."
"Hey look on the bright side, at least your hand doesn't have the words 'I will not tell lies' engraved in it." Harry piped in with a smile. He was trying to lighten Hermione's mood.
"Yea thank god Snape never heard about that!" Ron exclaimed, "There wouldn't be a Gryffindor around with out a tattoo on the back of their 'and."
Harry, Ron, and Ginny burst out laughing, so Hermione felt that she must laugh too, but inside she felt nothing funny. It depressed her to see how happy her friends were. To remember how happy she used to be before, before… she didn't want to think of that here. This was not the time or place for such tormenting thoughts.
A curious pair of gray eyes watched her from across the room. Draco had become very interested in this girl all of a sudden. It was amazing how she carried on with her life after all that had happened. She just sat there with her friends pretending nothing was wrong, when he knew that she was dying inside. He began to regard her with a certain amount of respect; as a Malfoy, he had been brought up to control and hide his emotions, and not to let them control him, but he was fairly certain that even he could not conceal such a large amount of pain as she was.
He decided that it was did not suit him to fight with her any more. There would have to be a way around it, and he would find one. It's amazing how much there is hiding behind the surface of people, he would never have figured Hermione to be that strong. He saw Hermione and her three friends get up and leave. A while later, he decided to go too.
Hermione made her way up to the common room, glad to find it empty. She walked over and sat on the seat of a bay window that was on the side of the common room. It was a nice little seat, and it overlooked the Quidditch Pitch. She could see Harry, Ginny, and Ron along with the rest of the Gryffindor team out practicing for their up coming matches. Look at them, so happy. A tear slid down her cheek. She longed to be like them, she wanted to be happy and free, but a new wall now separated her from the others; she would never again be like them. Her tears flowed freely now. She was so lost in thought, that she didn't hear the portrait open. Malfoy cleared his throat loudly, and she rubbed her eyes hoping he didn't notice the tears. He did, but didn't let her know.
"What come to make fun of me some more?" she asked.
"No," he said gruffly, and began to walk away, but stopped when he saw the incredulous expression on her face he knew that that would be curious behavior. He lunged into an explanation. "Look Granger," he said in a tone that made Hermione think that he was trying very hard to be civil, "As much as I love making you cry, putting up with your insolence all the time is far more than anyone could handle. Quite frankly, if I have to deal with you every night, I will suffer from the worst case of migraines ever. So I'm going to say this once, and once only. As long as we must live in such a dreadfully close proximity, you stay out of my way, and I'll stay out of yours." As soon as he was done speaking these words he turned and walked briskly up to his room, and slammed the door. The gesture made Hermione assume he had had a pretty rough day for whatever reason, but she couldn't deny that she wouldn't miss his snide remarks.
When Draco got back to his room, he congratulated himself. He had been successful in finding a way to avoid fighting with Granger, without loosing face. It was so simple, she thought he was sick of being around her, and he wouldn't have to feel guilty about kicking someone who was down. Of course the loss of an enemy meant that he would have to pick on Potter and Weasley, even more, but at least living would be more bearable.
Now that he didn't have to worry about the stupid Mudblood, he was going to get down to the school work that he had neglected so much that day. There was plenty of homework, and due to the fact that his mind was elsewhere all day, there were plenty of chapters he had to read in his school books as well.
He was doing work late into the night before he had finally finished. When he saw that the candles that lit his room were almost out, he decided that it was time to go to sleep. Throwing his robes off he clambered over to him bed and laid there for a few moments. There was a small book in the back of his mind that was forbidding him to sleep. He hadn't meant to, but he had become addicted to reading the diary. With a sigh he pulled it out and flipped to the next page.
Dear Diary,
My father went out today, in the afternoon. He told me to cook dinner and have it ready when he got back. So, I cooked the dinner and set it out on the table. I went to put the utensils out, when my hand came to rest on a knife. I could end it all now, all the pain, the suffering. That was what was running through my head. I don't want to feel the pain anymore, I don't want to feel anything. I had the knife pressed to the skin above my wrist, when my father walked through the door. I came back to my senses I suppose after that, but I don't know if it really is more sensible to stay here and wait to be hurt. Often nights, I pray that I will die. I don't want this anymore. I'm scared.
Draco looked at the book in shock; had Hermione really considered killing herself? He put a hand up to his face and realized that it was wet, he quickly brushed away the tear as if he were afraid someone would see it. His emotions rarely ever got the best of him, but the thought of some one wanting to kill themselves because of something their father did. It was too much to handle.
Listen to him, it was too much for him to handle? Imaging what poor Hermione was going through.
You're going soft Draco, since when do you care about "poor Hermione"?
I don't! I was simply thinking that it must be hard to deal with.
Then why did you call her "Poor Hermione"?
I don't care about the stupid Mudblood!
Much better.
He sighed, it was all so confusing, first pity, then respect, what was this new sentiment? Why had he actually shed a tear while reading the last entry? The book was slammed shut and hidden away in the drawer; Draco Malfoy did not care about other people, least of all Mudbloods!
His head sank into the pillow as he entered a deep sleep.
Hermione had eventually made her way back to her dorm room, but not before shedding countless more tears. She felt tired, but she thought that it would be a good idea to take a bath first, to calm and relax her body and ease her mind. Her towel and soaps were already in the bathroom so she headed down the hallway. Once in the bath, she gladly welcomed the burning water as it caressed her skin. The hot water embraced her and she let herself slip away from her troubles. There was nothing to worry about, no more need to cry; it was as if the warmth of her bath was filling the coldness of her soul. However, she could not hide here forever.
Reluctantly, she removed herself from her bath and pulled a robe around her. Her wet feet made a trail of foot prints on the floor as she wandered back to her room. The curtains were drawn back, and she could see the moon, all alone in a sea of stars. That was how she was, alone. Alone, yet horribly surrounded; she was surrounded by people who were happy. And their happiness seemed to mock her misery. Every joyful laugh she heard appeared to be directed at her sorrow, every smile sliced through the void that was her soul.
To be alone in a place where she was sounded by people was far worse then it had felt to be alone without anyone. For here she could see how different she now was from them, the happy children who frolicked down the corridors amongst their piers. It reminded her of days when she too laughed because she was happy and smiled because she was loved.
But now, she was trapped. Trapped into acting as if she were the same happy girl that the whole school thought she was. She was suffering; suffering from living a life that was a lie. Too much more of this would make life unlivable. The sole desire of her heart, was for some one to know her, and to show her the love that had been ripped so harshly away from her. She wanted someone to fill the emptiness of her soul. But, there was no one to tell, none who would understand. And even if there was someone, how could she say to them what she felt, she could never voice those words.
No, alone she was, and alone she always would be.
Dear Diary,
I am empty. A terrible emptiness has entered me and filled all that used to be happy. I feel numb. It is almost as if I have forgotten everything I once enjoyed. I can no longer be happy with my friends, I think I have forgotten how. I cannot remember the joy I once felt when I walked between Harry and Ron, I cannot remember how it felt to laugh from the depths of my soul, I cannot remember what it felt like to love. It is almost as if I can feel nothing. I feel naught but the nothingness that surrounds me, the nothingness that fills my heart. To feel is to live, yet I feel nothing. Am I then, alive? Or have I become the mere shadow of one who used to be? Is there any thing left for me now?
Hermione closed the book and put it away. She lay her head on the pillow, but did not fall asleep for a long time. When sleep finally took her, she dreamed of nothing. It was terrifying.
**~*~**
And that's another one! Oh I have a plan for this fic! It gets so sad! But well, Its labels as angst for a reason!
Thank you to all of my beautiful reviewers! I love u all! 41 reviews! Woot! Tr1n1ty, Eniahpets, Roxy Surfer, dew, girldevil, the simon cowel of fanfiction, Mizz Chilli, and sweetstar all reviewed on the last chapter n made me very happy!
I might not update for a few days, b/c I gotta take my laptop in to school for updates, n it's the only working comp I got! Which is y I am updating all my stories today! This one, Initiation, and Into the Abyss! I know three fics at once is bad!, but I finished writing one, n well I like writing, n it gives me a change in pace!
Lemme know if u want to be emailed when I update!
Bye
~Atiannala