I walked into the Potions dungeon feeling very ill at ease. From what
Harry, Ron, and Hermione had told me during lunch, the teacher, Professor
Snape, hated all Gryffindors and worse, favored Slytherins, because he was
the head of their house. I took a seat next to Hermione and nervously
waited for the bell to ring. When this Snape entered the classroom, it was
all I could do not to grimace. He had a distinctly slimy look to him, black
hair sleeked back and greasy, with a huge hooked nose like a buzzard. His
eyes appeared to be black as well, and he stared at me unpleasantly from
behind his desk.
"Welcome back," he said ironically. His voice was oily, and I had that feeling my seregaur self couldn't suppress, like a dog's mane prickling up when they feel cornered. "I have had all of you since your first year here," he began, eyes scanning to make sure everyone was there. I saw his eyes rest upon Harry and look extremely displeased to see him there and on time. I raised an eyebrow. His gaze swiveled to me. "All of you except, of course, our newest addition," he added slowly, eyes glittering. He turned abruptly and swept to the front of the class, suddenly hovering over my desk in the front of the classroom. My animal instinct felt challenged, and I was moved with all my being not to avert my eyes from his. He stood, towering over me for a moment, and I was sure it was a small test. And suddenly he was back at his desk again, rifling through papers. I sat up straight, feeling accomplished, until I heard him speak again.
"Perhaps, as our newest, celebrity," he said, pausing, and I felt suddenly confused. Celebrity? I wondered. His eyes flickered to a table of a few boys sitting next to us, and I glanced quick enough to have caught them staring at me and whispering. I clenched my teeth and stared back at Snape, forcing what I hoped was a pleasant look onto my face.
"Oh, not again," I heard Hermione mutter next to me. Snape smiled horribly.
"Yes, perhaps you could tell me, Miss.Porter," he said, glancing at his roll sheet, though I knew perfectly well that he knew my name. "What is the main use of a seregaur's fangs, in what form must they be in for them to be of any use at all, and what is the only potion they are useful in?" The words came rushing out, but it seemed as though they echoed throughout the dungeon. I stiffened, but forced my eyes and teeth to stay normal. There was absolute silence all around me. I stared at the professor in front of me, having met him less than ten minutes ago, with the utmost loathing I had ever felt. His eyes glittered back maliciously. He was about to speak.
"Well, I suppose if you don't kn-," he began lazily.
"A seregaur's fangs are used, in a powdered form, to destroy a dementor," I felt myself say. I was numb, and my voice quiet but controlled. Snape's mouth dropped open. "They are in the very rare and almost never used Complacency/Cheer Concoction." I glanced at Snape slowly, and added, "The dementor must suck the potion in through its mouth while in the process of attempting to kiss a victim. The Complacency/Cheer Concoction is rare due to the fact that in turn, seregaurs are rare or unable to be found. The potion is extremely difficult to prepare, as well as time-consuming, and it is nearly impossible to actually use it on a dementor." My last word rang throughout the room, like Snape's had done.
There was a silence. I got the very distinct feeling that Snape was waiting for me to add an insult. I didn't. Then very quietly, in fact almost inaudibly, Snape said, "Five points to Gryffindor." I smiled slightly for what I thought would be the satisfaction of the others, but felt no joy. I was coming out of a sort of stupor, and beginning to feel very indignant to, not to mention angry at, what this teacher had just made me do. It felt below the belt to me. Snape began to lecture on the Complacency/Cheer Concoction, mentioning briefly that of course the class would not be making this potion because, like I had said, seregaur fangs were nearly impossible to collect. A few people took notes, I observed, but most were looking enthralled, stunned, or angry, with me. I gave them all confused smiles, but didn't find out what they were so affected by until I turned to Harry, Ron, and Hermione. They all positively beamed at me.
"That was the best thing I have seen in my life," whispered Ron, his voice shaking with attempted control. He looked like he wanted to jump and yell.
Hermione looked at me excitedly. "That was very good, I have to admit. Of course, I did know the answer, having read some Defense Against the Dark Arts book last year.it mentioned the Concoction, though I've never seen it in a Potions book.anyhow, well done, Charlie, beautifully accomplished."She trailed off in admiration. I glanced at Harry. He was grinning broadly.
"I wouldn't have had that much self-control, even if I did know the answer," he admitted. "What a random question." I smiled sourly.
"Oh come on, you know it wasn't random," I said pointedly. "He only asked because I am one.he wanted to throw me off guard, intimidate me.if I had frozen, like he expected, I'm sure, he probably would have poked at me all day for not knowing about my own species or something." But I couldn't help smiling.
"It's not that the class is insanely difficult," said Ron slowly. "Hermione's answered loads of questions right before.it's just.that's the first time he's called on someone from Gryffindor, and they've answered right, without giving into his provoking them to insult him.and I still can't believe he gave you points." Ron shook his head, dazzled. I raised my eyebrow.
"But you said Hermione's answered questions right before," I said. "He didn't give her points for that?" Hermione shook her head.
"No, I'd always raised my hand," she explained. "He never gave me any points. Of course, plenty of those idiots," she jerked her head at the Slytherins, "did the same thing I did and got points by the fifties for stupid questions." Her eyes narrowed, but she shrugged. "Snape favors them," she said simply. I started to ask another question, but was cut off.
"Essay on the Complacency/Cheer Concoction, including descriptions of all its ingredients, due Friday!" barked Snape, and the bell rang.
"Bah, I can see everything you told me was completely true," I told Harry, Ron, and Hermione. "And I only attended one class!" We chuckled.
"He's a mean one, is Snape," said Hermione stiffly. I caught Harry and Ron exchanging glances, and smiled. Harry grinned at me.
"Says the same one who used to boast 'All teachers are gods'" said Harry in a singsong voice. Hermione punched his shoulder, but laughed with us. We had an hour break until our next class, so we headed to the Gryffindor common room to hang out.
"Kippered herring," said Hermione to the portrait of the fat lady, who swung forward. We all slouched into armchairs near a window.
"What class do we have next?" asked Ron absently. I must have made some sort of movement, because Harry and Hermione glanced toward me.
"Defense Against the Dark Arts," said Harry, and Ron's gaze joined theirs. I smiled, I hoped encouragingly.
"Do you.er, have any idea what you're going to do?" asked Harry nervously.
"No clue," I replied, and sank deeper into my chair. There was a silence.
"How was your brother, Ron?" asked Harry, staring at the ceiling. There was a definitive silence, and Harry and I both looked sharply at Ron. At first he looked blank, then licked his lips meditatively.
"Oh! Oh, he was fine," he said hurredly, standing up and crossing to look out a window. Harry stuck his tongue inside his cheek and frowned.
"Ron?" he said, looking over the back of his chair. "Ron come sit down." Ron did so slowly.
"I was just thinking," said Harry, looking at the rug, "did ALL of your family go to visit Charlie in Romania?" Ron nodded quickly, glancing at Hermione, but she was staring out the window. "For only two days?" Ron threw a hopeless glance at Hermione, who resolutely ignored him. I felt like I was watching a tennis match, my eyes moving from Ron, to Hermione, to Harry, who by now was looking a bit angry. "And it would cost quite a bit of money to take a trip like that," Harry said, speaking more and more quickly, "and I wouldn't think your dad would choose this particular time to go on a vacation, Voldemort having risen again, and all." I blanched and made an unintentional choking sound. WHAT? I thought, my mind racing. WHAT DID HE MEAN VOLDEMORT HAD RISEN AGAIN? I stared at Harry with wide eyes. He glanced at me.
"I'll explain later," he said quickly, and turned back to Ron.
"Harry," I said, my voice oddly high pitched. I made an effort to lower it. "Harry, for all our friendship's worth, I think you should tell me NOW." I must have looked dangerous, because he hardly hesitated before launching into a story about a Triwizard Tournament, a Death Eater in disguise as a teacher, and the meeting of Voldemort himself, which had ended in the death of a student named Cedric Diggory. I gaped at Harry when he had finished.
"You mean.Voldemort? He's back?" I asked slowly. Harry nodded. "Dumbledore believes this?" Harry looked slightly offended, but nodded. I stared at him for a moment, then blinked. "Harry.if all this happened to you.why weren't you held under some sort of.protection? Over the summer? What if Voldemort," I paused, finally noticing that Hermione and Ron flinched slightly every time Harry and I said it, "had just showed up on Privet Drive and slaughtered us all?" I was suddenly furious with Dumbledore for letting this happen. How dare he put us in that sort of careless danger? I stood up and started pacing the room, receiving uncomfortable looks from a few first years lounging there. I was torn between an inescapable terror, wanting to hide from Voldemort, and a horrible fury at Dumbledore for placing Harry in a situation where we could have been in mortal danger.
"That wouldn't have happened," said Hermione quietly, so quietly, in fact, that at first I wasn't sure she had spoken. I walked over to the chairs.
"And how can you be so sure of that?" I asked sarcastically.
"Because Dumbledore had guards around him the entire time," she said softly.
"But-," I began impatiently, then a dawn of realization seemed to come over Harry and me at the same time.
"HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?" we both bellowed. Hermione looked very small. I glanced at Ron, realizing that he knew too. Harry seemed to be feeling the same way.
"The two of you," he said, his voice shaking slightly. "You both knew. You both knew, and you didn't say a thing in your letters except 'Just hang in there, Harry' or 'Buck up, old chap, we'll be back at Hogwarts soon'? You all knew," he said suddenly. I glanced at him. He seemed to be a bit angrier than I was, but that didn't change the fact that we were both seething. "Your mum, Ron, and your dad," he said in a betrayed voice. "Your brothers and Ginny.I suppose Sir-.I suppose Snuffles was in on it too, hm?" He glared at the two of them. They looked terrified.
"Harry, I swear, we wanted to tell you but-," Hermione tried to get a word in, but Harry waved her off.
"But Dumbledore wanted me to live with the Dursleys and hide and be safe, was that it?" Harry was shouting by now. My mind was racing. Why had Dumbledore placed me with Harry in the Dursleys house? I would have only been in the way, and perhaps added to the deaths if Voldemort had come to the house. I didn't understand at all, and in my confusion took the lack of understanding as a sign of betrayal. I backed away from the chairs, feeling as though I had been forcefully shoved into something, but couldn't see a thing.
"Charlie?" said Ron, glancing warily at me. "Charlie where are you.? Charlie!" I broke into a run, tearing out of the common room and down the hall toward the exit. I bumped rather heavily into Professor McGonagall, but kept going, finally out of the castle. I heard someone else call my name, Harry or Ron, but I kept running. I ran until I reached a small house, then looked back wildly. Harry, Ron, and Hermione were following me, along with McGonagall; they were about halfway between the castle and me. I snapped my head around, looking for other students, but didn't see any. I turned to run again, and changed myself into my wolf form. I felt wary of the forest in front of me, but there didn't seem to be anywhere else to go. I looked back one last time, then sprinted in. I didn't go that far; I could still hear McGonagall screeching orders to someone. I decided I would run along the edge of the forest, remembering what Dumbledore had said about it being forbidden to students. I leaped over tree stumps and undergrowth; it felt wonderful to be an animal. All the human emotions I had just been overwhelmed with seemed far away. I ran as fast as I could in one direction, then turned around and trotted in the opposite one. I heard people talking.
"Where'd she go in, Professor?" said a deep gruff voice. I recognized Hagrid.
"Right about here, Hagrid," came McGonagall's voice, still stern but sounding slightly worried.
"No worries, Professor," said Hagrid cheerily. "Fang'll find 'er in two shakes. "I heard a deep rumbling WOOF and lay down in the brush. I saw a huge wolfhound enter the trees, followed by Hagrid himself. The dog was sniffing the air slightly, poised. I rolled my eyes. Show-off, I thought. The dog lowered its head and stared right at me.
"Damn," I thought. I made an apologetic noise. "I forgot." The dog growled sympathetically.
"Ye're one of those Animagi wizards then?" came the dog's voice in my head, sounding absurdly like Hagrid's. The dog himself trotted around a bit, to look as though he were doing something and giving us time for a small conversation.
"No," I replied. "I'm a seregaur." The wolfhound stopped prancing and whimpered slightly. I made a low, soothing noise. "No worries, I'm not dangerous," I thought hurredly. The dog was still wary though.
"Well." he convened resignedly. "All righ', I'll believe ye fer now. Ye comin' outta there? Or shall I go down the length of the forest a bit, give ye some private time?"
"Bah, I suppose I'll come out," I related to him, standing up. I trotted out of my hiding place, thanking the wolfhound for his courtesy. I walked up to Hagrid and sat down patiently.
"Professor," said Hagrid, smothering a grin in his bushy beard. "Professor, I think she's here." I followed Hagrid out of the trees to meet a very worried looking Professor McGonagall. Standing behind her were Ron and Hermione standing side by side, looking horrible, with Harry, still fuming, standing a few feet away.
"What makes you so sure, Hagrid?" she asked convulsively. "There are many wolves in the Forest-"
"This is 'er, Professor," said Hagrid, interrupting. "Came up and sat right at me boots, all resigned-like." I noticed that McGonagall was clutching a bundle of clothing; Mine, I thought suddenly. I sat down again. McGonagall glanced at me.
"Hold these, Hagrid," she said briskly. Hagrid did so just as McGonagall transformed herself into a tabby cat. She sat down in front of me.
"Miss Porter?" came McGonagall's voice inside my head. I let my shoulders slump.
"Yes, Professor," I replied. I looked up again and McGonagall was back to herself. I thought I saw her give me a confused look, which also held sympathy. I realized that while she didn't know the reason why Harry and I were so upset, she did gather that we were not doing it for attention. McGonagall took my clothes back from Hagrid and turned to us four students.
"Follow me," she said sharply, and headed back to the castle. I looked up at Harry's face, where amusement flashed under his anger. I bumped his leg in a friendly manner, hoping to convey that whatever was going on, we were in it together. Harry sent me a smile, and I felt better, however forced it had been. At least he accepted my help and comfort.
We all followed McGonagall back to the castle, Harry in front with me trotting at his side, Hermione and Ron in back. I could feel their shame. They truly felt horrible about keeping whatever information they had from us. Well, they feel bad about Harry, said a spiteful voice in my mind. They hardly know you, what makes you think they care about you?
I followed McGonagall through the entrance hall, hanging my head at this thought. It was true. Hermione and Ron had no reason to care about me. This was about Harry. I dimly realized that I was drawing attention. I hoped no one realized it was me.
"Is that a wolf?" I heard someone whisper. I moved closer to Harry. Please don't let them know it's me, I pleaded. We followed McGonagall to the familiar gargoyle where I knew Dumbledore's office was hidden, and I felt my stomach sink. Oh no, I was going to be expelled for transforming! Dumbledore would tell me that I was a danger to the school, and they would expel me! I looked up at Harry, feeling panicky and hoping for reassurance, but I received none. Harry looked just as worried as I felt. I was suddenly horrified that I had possibly gotten Harry into trouble as well as myself. It seemed to go in slow motion, McGonagall whispering "Circus peanuts" to the statue, it jumped out of the way and revealed the spiral staircase, we trudged down the stairwell and walked to the door to Dumbledore's office. McGonagall rapped loudly on the door, and walked in.
"Wait here," she said, placed my clothes on a chair in front of Dumbledore's desk, and disappeared into a different section of the office. Harry sunk into the other chair, while Hermione and Ron cowered near the door. I walked up to my clothes, grabbed them in my mouth, then went into what I observed was the bathroom. I transformed myself, not enjoying the normally pleasant tingling sensation of the change, got dressed quickly, and moved back into the room. Hermione and Ron looked up when I entered and seemed faintly surprised, but I ignored them, seating myself in the chair next to Harry's. McGonagall and Dumbledore returned, Dumbledore surveying us with a grave amusement. He sat down at his desk, and McGonagall left the office. I exchanged looks with Dumbledore.
"Professor McGonagall informs me that you two would like some 'answers'," he began delicately. I glanced at Harry; he nodded vigorously. I looked back at Dumbledore. He was smiling.
"I happen to agree that you deserve them," he said. "But seeing as there is five minutes until your next class, I think we should wait until after it ends." He raised an eyebrow. I opened my mouth to say that I would gladly miss my next class to hear the explanation, but then surprised myself with the more than relieved thought that I wasn't going to be expelled, and felt silly for ever thinking that.
"Let's go," Harry said suddenly, speaking to me. I still wanted to object, but my mind was still in the wolf sense, and I couldnâEt think of the words. I followed Harry out of the office and all the way to the Gryffindor Common Room. We grabbed our stuff and left Ron and Hermione quickly. I had no idea where the room was, but Harry seemed to know where we were going, so I put my faith into him and followed soundlessly. I was torn between anger and worry; anger that information was being withheld from me, worried because I was about to encounter my stepfather in a place I wasn't supposed to be, without a plan.
"Welcome back," he said ironically. His voice was oily, and I had that feeling my seregaur self couldn't suppress, like a dog's mane prickling up when they feel cornered. "I have had all of you since your first year here," he began, eyes scanning to make sure everyone was there. I saw his eyes rest upon Harry and look extremely displeased to see him there and on time. I raised an eyebrow. His gaze swiveled to me. "All of you except, of course, our newest addition," he added slowly, eyes glittering. He turned abruptly and swept to the front of the class, suddenly hovering over my desk in the front of the classroom. My animal instinct felt challenged, and I was moved with all my being not to avert my eyes from his. He stood, towering over me for a moment, and I was sure it was a small test. And suddenly he was back at his desk again, rifling through papers. I sat up straight, feeling accomplished, until I heard him speak again.
"Perhaps, as our newest, celebrity," he said, pausing, and I felt suddenly confused. Celebrity? I wondered. His eyes flickered to a table of a few boys sitting next to us, and I glanced quick enough to have caught them staring at me and whispering. I clenched my teeth and stared back at Snape, forcing what I hoped was a pleasant look onto my face.
"Oh, not again," I heard Hermione mutter next to me. Snape smiled horribly.
"Yes, perhaps you could tell me, Miss.Porter," he said, glancing at his roll sheet, though I knew perfectly well that he knew my name. "What is the main use of a seregaur's fangs, in what form must they be in for them to be of any use at all, and what is the only potion they are useful in?" The words came rushing out, but it seemed as though they echoed throughout the dungeon. I stiffened, but forced my eyes and teeth to stay normal. There was absolute silence all around me. I stared at the professor in front of me, having met him less than ten minutes ago, with the utmost loathing I had ever felt. His eyes glittered back maliciously. He was about to speak.
"Well, I suppose if you don't kn-," he began lazily.
"A seregaur's fangs are used, in a powdered form, to destroy a dementor," I felt myself say. I was numb, and my voice quiet but controlled. Snape's mouth dropped open. "They are in the very rare and almost never used Complacency/Cheer Concoction." I glanced at Snape slowly, and added, "The dementor must suck the potion in through its mouth while in the process of attempting to kiss a victim. The Complacency/Cheer Concoction is rare due to the fact that in turn, seregaurs are rare or unable to be found. The potion is extremely difficult to prepare, as well as time-consuming, and it is nearly impossible to actually use it on a dementor." My last word rang throughout the room, like Snape's had done.
There was a silence. I got the very distinct feeling that Snape was waiting for me to add an insult. I didn't. Then very quietly, in fact almost inaudibly, Snape said, "Five points to Gryffindor." I smiled slightly for what I thought would be the satisfaction of the others, but felt no joy. I was coming out of a sort of stupor, and beginning to feel very indignant to, not to mention angry at, what this teacher had just made me do. It felt below the belt to me. Snape began to lecture on the Complacency/Cheer Concoction, mentioning briefly that of course the class would not be making this potion because, like I had said, seregaur fangs were nearly impossible to collect. A few people took notes, I observed, but most were looking enthralled, stunned, or angry, with me. I gave them all confused smiles, but didn't find out what they were so affected by until I turned to Harry, Ron, and Hermione. They all positively beamed at me.
"That was the best thing I have seen in my life," whispered Ron, his voice shaking with attempted control. He looked like he wanted to jump and yell.
Hermione looked at me excitedly. "That was very good, I have to admit. Of course, I did know the answer, having read some Defense Against the Dark Arts book last year.it mentioned the Concoction, though I've never seen it in a Potions book.anyhow, well done, Charlie, beautifully accomplished."She trailed off in admiration. I glanced at Harry. He was grinning broadly.
"I wouldn't have had that much self-control, even if I did know the answer," he admitted. "What a random question." I smiled sourly.
"Oh come on, you know it wasn't random," I said pointedly. "He only asked because I am one.he wanted to throw me off guard, intimidate me.if I had frozen, like he expected, I'm sure, he probably would have poked at me all day for not knowing about my own species or something." But I couldn't help smiling.
"It's not that the class is insanely difficult," said Ron slowly. "Hermione's answered loads of questions right before.it's just.that's the first time he's called on someone from Gryffindor, and they've answered right, without giving into his provoking them to insult him.and I still can't believe he gave you points." Ron shook his head, dazzled. I raised my eyebrow.
"But you said Hermione's answered questions right before," I said. "He didn't give her points for that?" Hermione shook her head.
"No, I'd always raised my hand," she explained. "He never gave me any points. Of course, plenty of those idiots," she jerked her head at the Slytherins, "did the same thing I did and got points by the fifties for stupid questions." Her eyes narrowed, but she shrugged. "Snape favors them," she said simply. I started to ask another question, but was cut off.
"Essay on the Complacency/Cheer Concoction, including descriptions of all its ingredients, due Friday!" barked Snape, and the bell rang.
"Bah, I can see everything you told me was completely true," I told Harry, Ron, and Hermione. "And I only attended one class!" We chuckled.
"He's a mean one, is Snape," said Hermione stiffly. I caught Harry and Ron exchanging glances, and smiled. Harry grinned at me.
"Says the same one who used to boast 'All teachers are gods'" said Harry in a singsong voice. Hermione punched his shoulder, but laughed with us. We had an hour break until our next class, so we headed to the Gryffindor common room to hang out.
"Kippered herring," said Hermione to the portrait of the fat lady, who swung forward. We all slouched into armchairs near a window.
"What class do we have next?" asked Ron absently. I must have made some sort of movement, because Harry and Hermione glanced toward me.
"Defense Against the Dark Arts," said Harry, and Ron's gaze joined theirs. I smiled, I hoped encouragingly.
"Do you.er, have any idea what you're going to do?" asked Harry nervously.
"No clue," I replied, and sank deeper into my chair. There was a silence.
"How was your brother, Ron?" asked Harry, staring at the ceiling. There was a definitive silence, and Harry and I both looked sharply at Ron. At first he looked blank, then licked his lips meditatively.
"Oh! Oh, he was fine," he said hurredly, standing up and crossing to look out a window. Harry stuck his tongue inside his cheek and frowned.
"Ron?" he said, looking over the back of his chair. "Ron come sit down." Ron did so slowly.
"I was just thinking," said Harry, looking at the rug, "did ALL of your family go to visit Charlie in Romania?" Ron nodded quickly, glancing at Hermione, but she was staring out the window. "For only two days?" Ron threw a hopeless glance at Hermione, who resolutely ignored him. I felt like I was watching a tennis match, my eyes moving from Ron, to Hermione, to Harry, who by now was looking a bit angry. "And it would cost quite a bit of money to take a trip like that," Harry said, speaking more and more quickly, "and I wouldn't think your dad would choose this particular time to go on a vacation, Voldemort having risen again, and all." I blanched and made an unintentional choking sound. WHAT? I thought, my mind racing. WHAT DID HE MEAN VOLDEMORT HAD RISEN AGAIN? I stared at Harry with wide eyes. He glanced at me.
"I'll explain later," he said quickly, and turned back to Ron.
"Harry," I said, my voice oddly high pitched. I made an effort to lower it. "Harry, for all our friendship's worth, I think you should tell me NOW." I must have looked dangerous, because he hardly hesitated before launching into a story about a Triwizard Tournament, a Death Eater in disguise as a teacher, and the meeting of Voldemort himself, which had ended in the death of a student named Cedric Diggory. I gaped at Harry when he had finished.
"You mean.Voldemort? He's back?" I asked slowly. Harry nodded. "Dumbledore believes this?" Harry looked slightly offended, but nodded. I stared at him for a moment, then blinked. "Harry.if all this happened to you.why weren't you held under some sort of.protection? Over the summer? What if Voldemort," I paused, finally noticing that Hermione and Ron flinched slightly every time Harry and I said it, "had just showed up on Privet Drive and slaughtered us all?" I was suddenly furious with Dumbledore for letting this happen. How dare he put us in that sort of careless danger? I stood up and started pacing the room, receiving uncomfortable looks from a few first years lounging there. I was torn between an inescapable terror, wanting to hide from Voldemort, and a horrible fury at Dumbledore for placing Harry in a situation where we could have been in mortal danger.
"That wouldn't have happened," said Hermione quietly, so quietly, in fact, that at first I wasn't sure she had spoken. I walked over to the chairs.
"And how can you be so sure of that?" I asked sarcastically.
"Because Dumbledore had guards around him the entire time," she said softly.
"But-," I began impatiently, then a dawn of realization seemed to come over Harry and me at the same time.
"HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?" we both bellowed. Hermione looked very small. I glanced at Ron, realizing that he knew too. Harry seemed to be feeling the same way.
"The two of you," he said, his voice shaking slightly. "You both knew. You both knew, and you didn't say a thing in your letters except 'Just hang in there, Harry' or 'Buck up, old chap, we'll be back at Hogwarts soon'? You all knew," he said suddenly. I glanced at him. He seemed to be a bit angrier than I was, but that didn't change the fact that we were both seething. "Your mum, Ron, and your dad," he said in a betrayed voice. "Your brothers and Ginny.I suppose Sir-.I suppose Snuffles was in on it too, hm?" He glared at the two of them. They looked terrified.
"Harry, I swear, we wanted to tell you but-," Hermione tried to get a word in, but Harry waved her off.
"But Dumbledore wanted me to live with the Dursleys and hide and be safe, was that it?" Harry was shouting by now. My mind was racing. Why had Dumbledore placed me with Harry in the Dursleys house? I would have only been in the way, and perhaps added to the deaths if Voldemort had come to the house. I didn't understand at all, and in my confusion took the lack of understanding as a sign of betrayal. I backed away from the chairs, feeling as though I had been forcefully shoved into something, but couldn't see a thing.
"Charlie?" said Ron, glancing warily at me. "Charlie where are you.? Charlie!" I broke into a run, tearing out of the common room and down the hall toward the exit. I bumped rather heavily into Professor McGonagall, but kept going, finally out of the castle. I heard someone else call my name, Harry or Ron, but I kept running. I ran until I reached a small house, then looked back wildly. Harry, Ron, and Hermione were following me, along with McGonagall; they were about halfway between the castle and me. I snapped my head around, looking for other students, but didn't see any. I turned to run again, and changed myself into my wolf form. I felt wary of the forest in front of me, but there didn't seem to be anywhere else to go. I looked back one last time, then sprinted in. I didn't go that far; I could still hear McGonagall screeching orders to someone. I decided I would run along the edge of the forest, remembering what Dumbledore had said about it being forbidden to students. I leaped over tree stumps and undergrowth; it felt wonderful to be an animal. All the human emotions I had just been overwhelmed with seemed far away. I ran as fast as I could in one direction, then turned around and trotted in the opposite one. I heard people talking.
"Where'd she go in, Professor?" said a deep gruff voice. I recognized Hagrid.
"Right about here, Hagrid," came McGonagall's voice, still stern but sounding slightly worried.
"No worries, Professor," said Hagrid cheerily. "Fang'll find 'er in two shakes. "I heard a deep rumbling WOOF and lay down in the brush. I saw a huge wolfhound enter the trees, followed by Hagrid himself. The dog was sniffing the air slightly, poised. I rolled my eyes. Show-off, I thought. The dog lowered its head and stared right at me.
"Damn," I thought. I made an apologetic noise. "I forgot." The dog growled sympathetically.
"Ye're one of those Animagi wizards then?" came the dog's voice in my head, sounding absurdly like Hagrid's. The dog himself trotted around a bit, to look as though he were doing something and giving us time for a small conversation.
"No," I replied. "I'm a seregaur." The wolfhound stopped prancing and whimpered slightly. I made a low, soothing noise. "No worries, I'm not dangerous," I thought hurredly. The dog was still wary though.
"Well." he convened resignedly. "All righ', I'll believe ye fer now. Ye comin' outta there? Or shall I go down the length of the forest a bit, give ye some private time?"
"Bah, I suppose I'll come out," I related to him, standing up. I trotted out of my hiding place, thanking the wolfhound for his courtesy. I walked up to Hagrid and sat down patiently.
"Professor," said Hagrid, smothering a grin in his bushy beard. "Professor, I think she's here." I followed Hagrid out of the trees to meet a very worried looking Professor McGonagall. Standing behind her were Ron and Hermione standing side by side, looking horrible, with Harry, still fuming, standing a few feet away.
"What makes you so sure, Hagrid?" she asked convulsively. "There are many wolves in the Forest-"
"This is 'er, Professor," said Hagrid, interrupting. "Came up and sat right at me boots, all resigned-like." I noticed that McGonagall was clutching a bundle of clothing; Mine, I thought suddenly. I sat down again. McGonagall glanced at me.
"Hold these, Hagrid," she said briskly. Hagrid did so just as McGonagall transformed herself into a tabby cat. She sat down in front of me.
"Miss Porter?" came McGonagall's voice inside my head. I let my shoulders slump.
"Yes, Professor," I replied. I looked up again and McGonagall was back to herself. I thought I saw her give me a confused look, which also held sympathy. I realized that while she didn't know the reason why Harry and I were so upset, she did gather that we were not doing it for attention. McGonagall took my clothes back from Hagrid and turned to us four students.
"Follow me," she said sharply, and headed back to the castle. I looked up at Harry's face, where amusement flashed under his anger. I bumped his leg in a friendly manner, hoping to convey that whatever was going on, we were in it together. Harry sent me a smile, and I felt better, however forced it had been. At least he accepted my help and comfort.
We all followed McGonagall back to the castle, Harry in front with me trotting at his side, Hermione and Ron in back. I could feel their shame. They truly felt horrible about keeping whatever information they had from us. Well, they feel bad about Harry, said a spiteful voice in my mind. They hardly know you, what makes you think they care about you?
I followed McGonagall through the entrance hall, hanging my head at this thought. It was true. Hermione and Ron had no reason to care about me. This was about Harry. I dimly realized that I was drawing attention. I hoped no one realized it was me.
"Is that a wolf?" I heard someone whisper. I moved closer to Harry. Please don't let them know it's me, I pleaded. We followed McGonagall to the familiar gargoyle where I knew Dumbledore's office was hidden, and I felt my stomach sink. Oh no, I was going to be expelled for transforming! Dumbledore would tell me that I was a danger to the school, and they would expel me! I looked up at Harry, feeling panicky and hoping for reassurance, but I received none. Harry looked just as worried as I felt. I was suddenly horrified that I had possibly gotten Harry into trouble as well as myself. It seemed to go in slow motion, McGonagall whispering "Circus peanuts" to the statue, it jumped out of the way and revealed the spiral staircase, we trudged down the stairwell and walked to the door to Dumbledore's office. McGonagall rapped loudly on the door, and walked in.
"Wait here," she said, placed my clothes on a chair in front of Dumbledore's desk, and disappeared into a different section of the office. Harry sunk into the other chair, while Hermione and Ron cowered near the door. I walked up to my clothes, grabbed them in my mouth, then went into what I observed was the bathroom. I transformed myself, not enjoying the normally pleasant tingling sensation of the change, got dressed quickly, and moved back into the room. Hermione and Ron looked up when I entered and seemed faintly surprised, but I ignored them, seating myself in the chair next to Harry's. McGonagall and Dumbledore returned, Dumbledore surveying us with a grave amusement. He sat down at his desk, and McGonagall left the office. I exchanged looks with Dumbledore.
"Professor McGonagall informs me that you two would like some 'answers'," he began delicately. I glanced at Harry; he nodded vigorously. I looked back at Dumbledore. He was smiling.
"I happen to agree that you deserve them," he said. "But seeing as there is five minutes until your next class, I think we should wait until after it ends." He raised an eyebrow. I opened my mouth to say that I would gladly miss my next class to hear the explanation, but then surprised myself with the more than relieved thought that I wasn't going to be expelled, and felt silly for ever thinking that.
"Let's go," Harry said suddenly, speaking to me. I still wanted to object, but my mind was still in the wolf sense, and I couldnâEt think of the words. I followed Harry out of the office and all the way to the Gryffindor Common Room. We grabbed our stuff and left Ron and Hermione quickly. I had no idea where the room was, but Harry seemed to know where we were going, so I put my faith into him and followed soundlessly. I was torn between anger and worry; anger that information was being withheld from me, worried because I was about to encounter my stepfather in a place I wasn't supposed to be, without a plan.