Chapter 3- Goodbye Love
(A/N: Sorry I took forever, that thing called school keeps messing me up!)
Letting Rick walk out of my life was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. Even later on, when I was with Joanne, I would never admit to myself how much I really loved Rick, and how I still missed him. All I wanted was to move on, and to do that meant holding back, with every fiber of my body, from calling his name when he walked out the door.
"Obviously, that love wasn't enough." I murmured softly to myself as I got up and shut the door behind him.
It didn't seem fair. But I knew, deep down, that no matter how many reasons I could invent for his leaving, the only one that ever fit was that there was someone out there better than me, someone more preferable to me. I knew damn well there was nothing wrong with me; I was beautiful, smart, funny, spontaneous, and daring. There was nothing I wouldn't do at least once, and I was great in bed.
"So, how is it possible that I'm the one that's getting left in the dust?" I asked myself.
I paced around my room, absently tidying up the apartment. I tossed clothes that had been lying around in the drawers that had been used by Rick. Unknowingly, along with my favorite dress and a pair of jeans that were too tight and too small, but I had been unable to part with them, the ring he had given me was also tossed in the drawer. It would be a year before I saw it again. As I plopped down dejectedly on my bed after my absent-minded cleaning of the room, my eyes fell on the picture of Rick and I on the bedside table. We looked so happy, and seeing former happiness was the last thing I wanted at the moment. Slowly, carefully, as if in a trance, I picked up the picture; never tearing my eyes away from it. The image blurred in front of my eyes, either from tears, too much staring at it, or both.
"Don't cry, Maureen. Big girls don't cry." I whispered to myself, trying to control my raging emotions.
With infinite calm, I walked over to the trash bin, and undid the frame. I took the picture out, and studied it carefully. The emotions grew stronger and the warm air blew in from the open window near where I was standing. The heat was dizzying, the room started to spin, and my eyes started to water up again.
"NO GOD DAMMIT NO!" I screamed, and threw the frame across the room, savoring the sound of the glass cracking.
With ferocity I didn't know I possessed, I tore the picture up, and threw it out the window, watching the wind take the last bits of our relationship. I slumped down on the floor and rocked back and forth, trying not to let the tears leak from my eyes. This was a test. If I let myself cry, then I made myself vulnerable to heartbreak, and admitting I cared about someone, instead of just going around blindly and grabbing the first sparkly, nice-looking thing that caught my attention. I squeezed my eyes shut, and clutched my knees to my chest. After a few moments, the need to cry slowly but surely disappeared, and I opened my eyes again.
"That's it, then." I said. "I don't need this shit from anyone. I think I'll go out tonight."
Then, I went to my chest of drawers and pulled out a sparkly purple tube top and a tight black micro-mini. I slathered my legs with my strawberry lotion, and then slid into my strappy black sandals. I knew I looked hot to trot, but I took one last careless look in the mirror, noting with an empty satisfaction that I had succeeded in keeping all my makeup in tact throughout the whole ordeal. Then, I walked out the door and headed for the Pyramid Club.
Coming up: Ever wonder why Maureen and Roger hate each other so much? Can Maureen hold her own in a world that's so unkind? Also-will she let her weakness out when her landlord gives her a devastating ultimatum?
(A/N: Sorry I took forever, that thing called school keeps messing me up!)
Letting Rick walk out of my life was one of the hardest things I ever had to do. Even later on, when I was with Joanne, I would never admit to myself how much I really loved Rick, and how I still missed him. All I wanted was to move on, and to do that meant holding back, with every fiber of my body, from calling his name when he walked out the door.
"Obviously, that love wasn't enough." I murmured softly to myself as I got up and shut the door behind him.
It didn't seem fair. But I knew, deep down, that no matter how many reasons I could invent for his leaving, the only one that ever fit was that there was someone out there better than me, someone more preferable to me. I knew damn well there was nothing wrong with me; I was beautiful, smart, funny, spontaneous, and daring. There was nothing I wouldn't do at least once, and I was great in bed.
"So, how is it possible that I'm the one that's getting left in the dust?" I asked myself.
I paced around my room, absently tidying up the apartment. I tossed clothes that had been lying around in the drawers that had been used by Rick. Unknowingly, along with my favorite dress and a pair of jeans that were too tight and too small, but I had been unable to part with them, the ring he had given me was also tossed in the drawer. It would be a year before I saw it again. As I plopped down dejectedly on my bed after my absent-minded cleaning of the room, my eyes fell on the picture of Rick and I on the bedside table. We looked so happy, and seeing former happiness was the last thing I wanted at the moment. Slowly, carefully, as if in a trance, I picked up the picture; never tearing my eyes away from it. The image blurred in front of my eyes, either from tears, too much staring at it, or both.
"Don't cry, Maureen. Big girls don't cry." I whispered to myself, trying to control my raging emotions.
With infinite calm, I walked over to the trash bin, and undid the frame. I took the picture out, and studied it carefully. The emotions grew stronger and the warm air blew in from the open window near where I was standing. The heat was dizzying, the room started to spin, and my eyes started to water up again.
"NO GOD DAMMIT NO!" I screamed, and threw the frame across the room, savoring the sound of the glass cracking.
With ferocity I didn't know I possessed, I tore the picture up, and threw it out the window, watching the wind take the last bits of our relationship. I slumped down on the floor and rocked back and forth, trying not to let the tears leak from my eyes. This was a test. If I let myself cry, then I made myself vulnerable to heartbreak, and admitting I cared about someone, instead of just going around blindly and grabbing the first sparkly, nice-looking thing that caught my attention. I squeezed my eyes shut, and clutched my knees to my chest. After a few moments, the need to cry slowly but surely disappeared, and I opened my eyes again.
"That's it, then." I said. "I don't need this shit from anyone. I think I'll go out tonight."
Then, I went to my chest of drawers and pulled out a sparkly purple tube top and a tight black micro-mini. I slathered my legs with my strawberry lotion, and then slid into my strappy black sandals. I knew I looked hot to trot, but I took one last careless look in the mirror, noting with an empty satisfaction that I had succeeded in keeping all my makeup in tact throughout the whole ordeal. Then, I walked out the door and headed for the Pyramid Club.
Coming up: Ever wonder why Maureen and Roger hate each other so much? Can Maureen hold her own in a world that's so unkind? Also-will she let her weakness out when her landlord gives her a devastating ultimatum?