Chapter 5- Until You Love Yourself
Thanks for all the reviews! Ha! I'm being a good author and giving semi- regular updates! Here are a few "shoutouts" to my loyal fans:
Goddess of Ivy: I'm glad your question on the animosity between Roger and Maureen has been answered, but WAIT! There's more.*evil grin*
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I woke up the next morning with unfamiliar arms around me. As I slowly opened my eyes and looked around the room, I noticed a few very strange things: first off, my clothes were strewn haphazardly around the floor near my bed. Secondly, there were male clothes mixed in with my own.
"I thought I told Rick to pick up his clothes and put them in the laundry bag." I murmured before I remembered a few key items.
Rick was gone, and I had gone to the Pyramid Club and met a guy named.Roger! Yeah Roger.something. Then we had come back to my apartment and had, I had to admit, the best sex I'd ever had. I glanced at the arms around me, and followed them until my eyes met with Roger's face. In the daylight, when I could see more clearly, he was even cuter than he had been in the smoky, dark environment of the club. His hair was a bit darker than I had previously figured, and his eyes were the deepest blue I had ever seen. He had a strong, tanned, body; one that was able to give the utmost of pleasure.
"Good morning, Sunshine," Roger said sarcastically, startling me out of my reverie.
"I didn't know you were awake." I replied.
"I've been watching you.and thinking. Um, last night.was it.?" Roger left the question hanging in the air.
I smiled at him, brightly if not somewhat sleepily. "It was the best damned sex I've ever had... and I'm not trying to inflate your ego."
Roger laughed, and it reminded me of melting chocolate. It almost made me melt, for God's sake.
"Well, though I don't compare sexual experiences to previous ones.ok so I do-I'm a guy, so sue me.I can definitely say that you were worth it."
I made a face and said mockingly, "Oh, that's the sweetest backwards compliment anyone's ever given me!"
Suddenly, Roger cut me off by leaning over and kissing me. It was a sweet kiss, one full of more tenderness than I'd expect from a one night stand.well, it would have been, except for.
"Agh! Morning breath!" I squealed, pulling away.
Roger attempted an injured look on his face, but started laughing.
"Sorry.but, um.I find myself lacking for a toothbrush.you don't happen to have an extra one around, do you?" he asked.
I laughed and replied, "Oh yes, I keep extra toothbrushes around just in case something like this happens."
There was an awkward silence, and then Roger asked, "Something like this.meaning what?"
I hesitated. What was I supposed to tell him? That he hadn't meant more than a good lay, that I had just gotten dumped the other day and this new sex-diva, emotionless, unfeeling woman was what got left behind; that there was nothing behind last night then hormones and hurt? I decided that for now, to just wait to see what happened-maybe he wasn't in for anything real either.
I stretched luxuriously and smiled my sunniest. "I mean waking up in the arms of a wicked hot guy, that's what I meant."
Roger seemed to relax at that, and then said, "Well, I should probably leave. I have rehearsal later, and I wanna shower and brush away my morning breath before then."
We untangled ourselves from each other, and he got up out of bed. As he put his clothes back on, I noticed a little heart-shaped mole on his backside. I giggled, and he looked at me.
"Care to share with the class, Maureen?"
"Nah, I'm good."
Roger looked at me strangely, but said nothing. When he finished dressing, he came over to me, and kissed me quickly on the cheek.
"Listen.ah.I don't know exactly what's going to come out of this, but um.maybe I'll stop by at around seven tonight, and we can go out to dinner? Have you ever been to the Life Café?" he asked.
Again, I hesitated. Unless he was only doing this for another lay (which I can't say I honestly minded), this wasn't going to be good.
"Um.sure. I'll see you then." I replied without really thinking.
Roger's handsome face broke into a smile. "Alright. Seven it is then."
Then he left the apartment. Sighing, I flopped down on my bed. As sexually fulfilling as the night before had been, it still sucked that I felt as hurt and angry as I had the day before. It was, of course, to be expected, but how was I supposed to go on living like nothing happened when my past was breathing down my back?
Maybe you're not supposed to just simply keep on living. Maybe you should really rethink this whole crusade you're going on-is it really worth it? I asked myself.
I got up and went into the tiny shower that adjoined the bedroom. As I bathed in the warm water, I thought about what I could do. As I saw it, I had two choices. I could either become a miserable, broken, 'fallen woman', or I could assert my freedom, sex appeal, and ambition while at the same time being incapable of feeling emotion. I decided that though the first choice was more true to how I felt, the second would be more exciting and beneficial.
I stepped out of the shower and into some dry clothes. I picked out a jean mini skirt and a white halter top with a pair of lips screened on it. Then, after fluff-drying my hair, I decided that the best thing to do was to maybe go find a job-Rick had always supported me when we moved in together, and seeing as he had moved out, I needed rent money.
Three hours later found me with a ton of jobs circled in the classified section of the newspaper, and absolutely no luck. I sighed dejectedly, and tucked a curl of my hair behind my ear. It was hopeless; there were no jobs out there looking for people who had never held a real job. All they wanted were qualifications this and college degrees that. I had dropped out of Brown University the year before because I couldn't keep up with my grades and because I had run out of money. I had had just enough left to buy a small apartment in the poorer part of New York City. A little while later, I had met Rick, and my money problems were solved. However, I had expected them to be a bit more permanent.
Suddenly, an ad caught my eye that I hadn't seen before. It read:
Wanted: Women and men between the ages of 18-45 for community players. Bring monologue to perform. Auditions to be held at 11th Street Lot on Tuesday, February18th, 1995.
I nearly shrieked in joy. I had always loved the performing arts, and had been the star of the drama club plays in high school. This was exactly the type of job that would suit me! Grinning from ear to ear now, I cut the ad out and stuck it with a tack to my corkboard. Then, with more spunk than I had had all day, I made off for the library to go find the perfect performance piece.
Thanks for all the reviews! Ha! I'm being a good author and giving semi- regular updates! Here are a few "shoutouts" to my loyal fans:
Goddess of Ivy: I'm glad your question on the animosity between Roger and Maureen has been answered, but WAIT! There's more.*evil grin*
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I woke up the next morning with unfamiliar arms around me. As I slowly opened my eyes and looked around the room, I noticed a few very strange things: first off, my clothes were strewn haphazardly around the floor near my bed. Secondly, there were male clothes mixed in with my own.
"I thought I told Rick to pick up his clothes and put them in the laundry bag." I murmured before I remembered a few key items.
Rick was gone, and I had gone to the Pyramid Club and met a guy named.Roger! Yeah Roger.something. Then we had come back to my apartment and had, I had to admit, the best sex I'd ever had. I glanced at the arms around me, and followed them until my eyes met with Roger's face. In the daylight, when I could see more clearly, he was even cuter than he had been in the smoky, dark environment of the club. His hair was a bit darker than I had previously figured, and his eyes were the deepest blue I had ever seen. He had a strong, tanned, body; one that was able to give the utmost of pleasure.
"Good morning, Sunshine," Roger said sarcastically, startling me out of my reverie.
"I didn't know you were awake." I replied.
"I've been watching you.and thinking. Um, last night.was it.?" Roger left the question hanging in the air.
I smiled at him, brightly if not somewhat sleepily. "It was the best damned sex I've ever had... and I'm not trying to inflate your ego."
Roger laughed, and it reminded me of melting chocolate. It almost made me melt, for God's sake.
"Well, though I don't compare sexual experiences to previous ones.ok so I do-I'm a guy, so sue me.I can definitely say that you were worth it."
I made a face and said mockingly, "Oh, that's the sweetest backwards compliment anyone's ever given me!"
Suddenly, Roger cut me off by leaning over and kissing me. It was a sweet kiss, one full of more tenderness than I'd expect from a one night stand.well, it would have been, except for.
"Agh! Morning breath!" I squealed, pulling away.
Roger attempted an injured look on his face, but started laughing.
"Sorry.but, um.I find myself lacking for a toothbrush.you don't happen to have an extra one around, do you?" he asked.
I laughed and replied, "Oh yes, I keep extra toothbrushes around just in case something like this happens."
There was an awkward silence, and then Roger asked, "Something like this.meaning what?"
I hesitated. What was I supposed to tell him? That he hadn't meant more than a good lay, that I had just gotten dumped the other day and this new sex-diva, emotionless, unfeeling woman was what got left behind; that there was nothing behind last night then hormones and hurt? I decided that for now, to just wait to see what happened-maybe he wasn't in for anything real either.
I stretched luxuriously and smiled my sunniest. "I mean waking up in the arms of a wicked hot guy, that's what I meant."
Roger seemed to relax at that, and then said, "Well, I should probably leave. I have rehearsal later, and I wanna shower and brush away my morning breath before then."
We untangled ourselves from each other, and he got up out of bed. As he put his clothes back on, I noticed a little heart-shaped mole on his backside. I giggled, and he looked at me.
"Care to share with the class, Maureen?"
"Nah, I'm good."
Roger looked at me strangely, but said nothing. When he finished dressing, he came over to me, and kissed me quickly on the cheek.
"Listen.ah.I don't know exactly what's going to come out of this, but um.maybe I'll stop by at around seven tonight, and we can go out to dinner? Have you ever been to the Life Café?" he asked.
Again, I hesitated. Unless he was only doing this for another lay (which I can't say I honestly minded), this wasn't going to be good.
"Um.sure. I'll see you then." I replied without really thinking.
Roger's handsome face broke into a smile. "Alright. Seven it is then."
Then he left the apartment. Sighing, I flopped down on my bed. As sexually fulfilling as the night before had been, it still sucked that I felt as hurt and angry as I had the day before. It was, of course, to be expected, but how was I supposed to go on living like nothing happened when my past was breathing down my back?
Maybe you're not supposed to just simply keep on living. Maybe you should really rethink this whole crusade you're going on-is it really worth it? I asked myself.
I got up and went into the tiny shower that adjoined the bedroom. As I bathed in the warm water, I thought about what I could do. As I saw it, I had two choices. I could either become a miserable, broken, 'fallen woman', or I could assert my freedom, sex appeal, and ambition while at the same time being incapable of feeling emotion. I decided that though the first choice was more true to how I felt, the second would be more exciting and beneficial.
I stepped out of the shower and into some dry clothes. I picked out a jean mini skirt and a white halter top with a pair of lips screened on it. Then, after fluff-drying my hair, I decided that the best thing to do was to maybe go find a job-Rick had always supported me when we moved in together, and seeing as he had moved out, I needed rent money.
Three hours later found me with a ton of jobs circled in the classified section of the newspaper, and absolutely no luck. I sighed dejectedly, and tucked a curl of my hair behind my ear. It was hopeless; there were no jobs out there looking for people who had never held a real job. All they wanted were qualifications this and college degrees that. I had dropped out of Brown University the year before because I couldn't keep up with my grades and because I had run out of money. I had had just enough left to buy a small apartment in the poorer part of New York City. A little while later, I had met Rick, and my money problems were solved. However, I had expected them to be a bit more permanent.
Suddenly, an ad caught my eye that I hadn't seen before. It read:
Wanted: Women and men between the ages of 18-45 for community players. Bring monologue to perform. Auditions to be held at 11th Street Lot on Tuesday, February18th, 1995.
I nearly shrieked in joy. I had always loved the performing arts, and had been the star of the drama club plays in high school. This was exactly the type of job that would suit me! Grinning from ear to ear now, I cut the ad out and stuck it with a tack to my corkboard. Then, with more spunk than I had had all day, I made off for the library to go find the perfect performance piece.