Whooo, Chapter 18! Can you feel the excitement in the air?? I can! Shhhhyeah! Okay, maybe it's just me. But yeah. Enjoy! Don't forget to review! You guys are AWSHUM and I luff you all!
It's 7:00! Time for another installment of…Digital Bean Smoothie: Uncut and Uncensored!
* R Kelly's Ignition Remix begins to play as images and sound bites from upcoming episodes flash across the screen, including:*
"And now we've come to the end of the road…"
"Bust out the Kleenex!"
"Oh my god, I'm GONNA CRY!
"WHO NEEDS A HUG??!"
* The opening ends and the camera fades in to reveal the host*
"Hi, I'm Bob Saget. Welcome to another RADIANT episode of Digital Bean Smoothie: Uncut and Uncensored! Thanks for all of your calls and suggestions! Keep them coming as we narrow our season down! It's been a wild ride so far, hasn't it? Yeeee-haw! Last week we saw Sandie reveal her true identity – that she was in fact the daughter of Cammy, the sworn enemy of her significant other, Rich! Man, isn't that CRAZY? Whoo! It just keeps getting hotter and hotter here in Fro Manor! Let's check back in with our favorite Fromiez as they attempt to console their heartbroken roommate!"
*Camera fades out as Bob pretends lasso the camera*
"Rich, you've been sitting on that couch for three days! When are you ever going to get up and move?" Kim demanded. She stood over him, impatiently tapping her foot with her arms crossed in front of her chest. The sounds of Morrissey blared out of the speakers as Rich lay on the couch curled up in a little ball, the same position he had been in for the past 72 hours.
"Sandie loved Morrissey," he said sadly. "On the plane, when we first met, she accidentally knocked over my CD player and – "
"Uhh, hello? I remember, I was there," Kim said with irritation as she plopped down on the couch next to him. "Rich, seriously. When are you going to leave this spot? It's starting to smell funny."
"Well, it's not like I can even go into my room! I was kicked out! Clay moved in with Kelly, Kyle and Kee moved in with you and Jenn, and I'm stuck out here – "
"Rich, your brother and Aubrey are married, why should they have separate rooms?!"
"Nobody loves me," Rich moaned. He buried his face in the couch pillow and sighed heavily. "I'm all alone and I'll die alone because I'm not hot and nobody will ever love me!"
"Then why don't you call Sandie?" Kim asked in a gentler tone. "She still loves you, you know. I'm totally sure of it. And plus the way you just left her at Hooters was kind of mean, so the least you could do would be to apologize."
"I can't call her!" Rich exclaimed with a horrified expression on his face. "Did you miss the memo?! She's Cammy's daughter! Cammy! The one person who hates me with every fiber of his being! There's no way I could be with her after all that me and Cammy have gone through."
"But it doesn't matter!" Kim insisted. "Who cares about Cammy? You had a great thing going with Sandie! You're going to be with her, not with her psychotic father. She's all that should be important to you."
"She is important to me. But I just don't think I can overlook the fact that she's Cammy's daughter. You know how much fighting me and Cammy have done! And you also know what a…strange person he is. I just – no, I can't be with Sandie. It's impossible."
"It's not impossible, Rich. It may sound cheesy, but your love is stronger than that. It's stronger than Cammy, and that's something that he can't take away from you," Images of cheese filled Kim's mind, and she suddenly realized that she was extremely hungry. "Mmm…cheese. I'm going to go make a sandwich. But I'll be right back!" Just as she was getting up from the couch, the doorbell rang. "Don't get up. I'll get that!"
Kim scampered to the front door and opened it to find a dejected looking Sandie standing on the front stoop. Her normally perfectly groomed blonde hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail, and her green eyes were downcast. Kim could see tearstains on her face from where she'd been crying.
"Hi Sandie," Kim said cautiously. "Ummm…I suppose you're looking for Rich?"
"Yes," she replied with a sniffle. "I just had to return something to him, and then I promise I'll leave him alone forever. Is he here?"
"Yeah, uh – hold on. I'll go get him," Kim shut the door and ran back to the living room. She reached down and pulled Rich up into a sitting position, which he wasn't too happy about.
"What are you doing?!" he cried angrily. "Leave me alone!"
"Sandie's here to see you!" she hissed in response. "She's on the front doorstep – don't just leave her there! Go talk to her!"
"I don't want to talk to her!"
"RICH!" Kim yelled as pinched him on the arm, causing him to cry out in pain. "Just get off your lazy ass and go talk to her!"
"Okay, okay!" Rich reluctantly got up off the couch and shuffled to the front door, where Sandie was waiting. He opened the door and stood there for a few moments, unsure of what to say. Besides, he had lost the power of speech anyway.
"Hi Richard," Sandie said softly as she bent her head down in shame. "I'm sorry to bother you, but um – I just had to give something to you."
Rich couldn't answer, but instead felt his heart drop to his shoes when Sandie reached into her pocket and pulled out the tiny box containing the diamond engagement ring. She held it out to him, her bright green eyes glistening with tears.
"It fell out of your pocket as you were leaving," she told him. "I – um, I figured that you might want it back since…" her voice trailed off as she became choked up, and the tears began to fall down her face again.
As Rich stood there and watched her wipe the tears off of her face, he realized that he had been acting like the biggest idiot to ever walk the face of the earth. Kim was right, the rest of the Fromiez were right. For the past three days, they had all been telling him that he needed to get a grip, look past the fact that Sandie's father was Cammy and not let go of a wonderful thing simply because of paternal blood lines. Sandie was the best thing that had ever happened to him, and he'd be a moron to let her go.
"You know what? Why don't you hang onto that?" Rich said to her as he opened the box and slipped the diamond onto the ring finger of her left hand. "I need someone to hold onto it for awhile. I was going to ask this wonderful girl to marry me, but then I found out that her father was someone I never really got along with. But then I realized it doesn't matter because I'm in love with her, not her dad. I just hope she can forgive me for acting so dumb."
Sandie stared down at her hand in shock, then looked back up at Rich with an elated expression on her face. "I think she can forgive him," she said happily before rushing into his arms. "Richard! I have a flight to Hawaii in an hour! Why don't you come with me? We can get married on the beach, and it would be so romantic!"
"Of course, Sandie…whatever you want," Rich replied as he took her hand and led her into the house. "But I want everyone else to come with us, too. I want all my Fromiez to be there when we get married."
They quickly rushed into Fro Manor and began tracking down the Fromiez to inform them about the abrupt change in plans. The first people they found were Jenn and Kee, who were sitting at the kitchen counter eating sandwiches.
"This turkey needs some pepper," Jenn said as she reached for the shaker. "I'm just not as good at making sammiches as you are, Kee."
"It's an art, you know," he told her matter-of-factly.
"Guys! Sandie and I are getting married in Hawaii! We're leaving in fifteen minutes! Pass it on!" Rich cried as he grabbed Kee's sandwich off of his plate and then left the kitchen.
"What the hell?" Jenn asked in confusion. "Did he just say he was getting married?"
"I don't know, but he stole my sammich!" Kee said indignantly.
Kyle and Kim were sitting in the library having a discussion about books when Rich and Sandie came bursting in.
"Kyle, I can't believe that you think Kate Chopin's , The Awakening, isn't about a woman's ability to liberate herself through suicide – "
"Darling, I didn't say that. All I said was that it seemed a little far-fetched to generalize that this particular mindset was a dominant theme during the time of – "
"Sandie and I are getting married in Hawaii! We're leaving in fifteen minutes!" Rich informed them in a rush before exiting the room.
"Ummm… okay?" Kim stared after them in shock for a moment, then turned back to Kyle. "Anyway, like I was saying…"
The next stop was the pool, where Kelly and Clayton were involved in a rousing game of water volleyball.
"Foul!" Kelly shouted as the ball went flying past her. "That was out! You don't get a point for that!"
"Hey, it's not my fault you're too short to hit the ball," Clayton said teasingly. "So what's the score now? Fifteen to a big fat zero?"
"Actually, it's fifteen to two – "
"Hey guys, me and Sandie are getting married in Hawaii and you're invited! We're leaving in fifteen minutes!" Kelly and Clay barely had any time to process Rich's statement before him and Sandie ran back into the house.
"Married? What? What's going on?" Kelly cried confusedly. "No one ever tells me anything around here!" She splashed the water angrily as the volleyball suddenly soared over the net and landed two feet behind her. "Clay! I wasn't ready!"
Rich hurried to the confessional and opened the door to find Amy and Pat sitting in the dark and involved in a deep conversation. Amy turned and glared at Rich, obviously not happy about his interruption.
"Excuse me, but we were talking in here!" she snapped. "Ever heard of knocking?!"
"Pat, we need you to marry me and Sandie in Hawaii!" Rich informed him. "We're leaving in fifteen minutes!" He quickly shut the door, plunging the confessional into darkness once again.
"What a weirdo," Amy muttered, rolling her eyes.
The last two people left to inform were Scott and Aubrey, who were sitting in the living room watching the TV show Degrassi: The Next Generation.
"Ooooh! Manny's about to confess her love for Spinner!" Aubrey cried excitedly. ((A/N: I have no clue who these people are. If I got the names wrong, I'm sorry. )) She leaned forward in anticipation, eagerly watching the screen for action.
"Aubs, this show sucks," Scott complained. "Can't we watch something else?"
"But Scoootyyyyyy…" Aubrey turned her lip down and gave him the puppy dog eyes. "I loveeee youuuuuuu!" He stared at her for a moment as she batted her eyelashes and pouted.
"You really fight dirty, Aubs. You know I can't resist the – HEY!" Scott shouted as Rich grabbed his arm and pulled him up off of the couch. "What are you doing, Richard?!"
"Sandie and I need you to drive everyone to the airport so we can fly to Hawaii and get married," he explained in a rush as he tossed Scott the car keys.
"Wait….what?! You're getting married?" Scott asked in disbelief. "When did this happen?"
"Don't ask questions, Scott! Just drive!" Rich replied. "Let's go!" They all hurried out the door, with Aubrey trailing behind.
"Hey! Wait a minute! Does this mean we have to eat Thanksgiving dinner with Cammy?" she asked as she followed everyone out to the Fro Van.
*Cut to the plane, as all the Fromiez are boarding*
"I get the window seat!" Kim shrieked as she climbed over Kelly and Clayton in order to reach her destination of choice. "Sweeeeeet!"
"Hey, where's Sandie? I need a sammich," Kee said as he pushed his bag into the overhead compartment.
"Kee, just sit down – we're about to take off," Jenn told him. She quickly buckled her seat belt and stole a glance at Amy, who was sitting on one side of her and looking rather nervous. "Aims, are you alright?"
"NO!" Amy shrieked as she tightly shut her eyes. "I hate airplanes! I need to get off of this thing!" She gripped the sides of her armrest, but Pat quickly reached over and took one of her hands in his.
"Relax, Amy," he said soothingly. "Everything's going to be fine…"
"May I have your attention please? This is your captain speaking. Please make sure that all seats are in the full and upright position as we prepare for take-off. Thank you."
Amy kept her eyes closed as the plane suddenly lurched to life and began to cruise down the runaway. Once it was safely in the air, she relaxed a little bit and let up on her death grip on Pat's hand.
"Well, I guess we're going to be okay," she said calmly. "It's just the whole 'taking off' thing that always worries me."
"May I have your attention, please? This is your captain speaking. The seat belt sign has been turned off. You may now – AHHHH!" the captain's voice was suddenly cut off and everyone heard a loud scuffling sound, followed by a scream and then dead silence. A few seconds later, another voice rang out over the intercom.
"ATTENTION, ESPECIALLY THOSE WITH HEARTS FULL OF HATE!"
"Oh no!" Sandie cried suddenly as she abandoned the drink cart and ran over to the Fromiez. "It's – "
"This is your CAMMY speaking!" he cried in a sinister voice. "And I'M flying this plane now!"
"Daddy, STOP!" Sandie screamed to no one in particular. "I can't believe you!"
"I'm taking over this plane! And if my IDIOT of a daughter insists on marrying some stupid moron who is in love with a 16-year-old girl, then I'm afraid that I have to step in! NO ONE WILL MARRY SANDIE! Especially you, RICHARD!"
"So what are you going to do, daddy? KILL US ALL?!" Sandie screamed.
"Precisely, my lovely daughter! If the only way I can prevent you from marrying that perverted little bastard is by flying this plane straight into the ground, then so be it! YOU WON'T MARRY HIM! Not as long as I'm alive and have blood running through my veins!"
All the Fromiez looked at each other in horror as the severity of the situation finally sunk in. Cammy had control of the plane, and he was going to turn it into some bizarre suicide mission just so Rich couldn't marry Sandie. They all sat there, speechless, until Amy finally broke the silence.
"OH MY GOD! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE – AGAIN!"
What will happen next? Willy Cammy fly the plane into the ground? Stay tuned for the season finale of Digital Bean Smoothie: Uncut and Uncensored!