Chapter Four: The Shawn Chapter
****
Disclaimer:
Don't own it. Wish I did.
****
This chapter was written as a special favor to my best friend Shawn. I'm of rather short stature, I'm only 5"2', so Shawn really likes short jokes. So this chapter is full of short jokes and elf groping. Enjoy
*****
"This sucks," Shawn panted. "Stupid forest. Stupid rocks. Stupid roots."
"Hiking sucks," Jo added.
"Yer not wearing flip-flops."
"True, true."
"At least I don't have yer short, stubby legs. Then I'd never be able to keep up."
"I hate you."
"Cummon lassies," Gimli shouted. "You don't want to fall to far behind."
"He's right. Something might chase us and its gotta be hard to run fast with your short legs."
"You really do want to get left behind, don't you?"
"With all the elves running around? A'course I do. But don't feel left out. There's lots of dwarves and hobbit runnin' 'round."
"If you disappear during the night I bet I can make it look like an accident," Jo grumbled.
"You should go live in the shire. You wouldn't have to look up at everyone any more. Better fer your neck."
"Hurry up ladies!" Aragorn shouted.
Shawn quickened her pace and Jo, who had just pounced at Shawn, ended up with a face full of dirt.
"I'm beginning to hate Middle-Earth," Jo mumbled, picking herself up off the ground. "And I don't care what anyone says, sooner or later something is going to try to eat me again. People always get eaten in place like this."
Jo caught up with the group and almost fell over.
Aragorn had obviously decided it was time for a break and everyone was sitting down. Everyone but Shawn. Shawn was busy playing with Legolas's blond hair and remarking on the shape of his ears.
"Guess she can check 'elf groping' off her 'Things to do in Life' list."
"What did you say Lady Jo?" Aragorn asked.
"Nothing," Jo answered and flashed Shawn a thumbs-up. "And you don't have to call me lady. Sounds funny, like something a transvestite would call him/herself."
"A trans what?" Legolas asked.
"Nothing," Jo answered quickly. She didn't want to be the one to introduce that little piece of American culture to Middle-Earth. "Just something from the land we come from."
"You wouldn't look good in purple anyway," Shawn said to Legolas, who looked confused.
"Tell us more about where you're from," Aragorn urged.
"It's pretty boring," Shawn answered.
"And there are no elves?" Legolas asked.
"Nope!" Shawn peeped and hugged him. He gladly returned the favor, making Shawn blush beet red.
"Or hobbits or dwarves or Rangers for that matter," Jo continued. "Just lots of people doing boring things."
"What about your families? What kind of work do your fathers do?"
"We don't really have families," Jo lied through her teeth.
"Then what do you do?"
"We're both students. We spend all our time studying."
"You are both scholars?" Gimli asked.
"Not exactly. Just students."
"What do you study?" Aragorn asked.
"Everything," Jo mumbled.
"Ignore her," Shawn said. "She's disaffected."
"Your homeland sounds very strange."
"Its not though. Not like this place."
"We don't have Orcs or goblins or anything like that," Shawn added, toying with Legolas's braids. "Or pretty elves."
"Pretty?" Legolas asked, again looking confused.
Shawn glomped the startled elf, hugging him until his face turned red.
"Perhaps we should go to sleep," Aragorn suggested. "It is getting late."
"Okay."
As they dug in the bag looking for blankets Shawn asked Jo,"Did it take them more than a day to find Gandalf?"
"Everything will take allot longer here. We're not in the movie."
Jo and Shawn laid back against their bag. When Legolas began to sing softly in elvish Shawn was gone before Jo even realized what was happening.
"Good luck," Jo mumbled and rolled over to get some sleep.
****
For Saiyan-girl-cheetah: Thanks allot for all of the reviews. Reviews mean allot to me *hint hint* I play the clarinet too. I love meeting other band geeks. They're always the most interesting people. ^__^ While we were at Disney we ran into Spider-man and all I'm saying is that guy was really secure with his body. O.o And to be serious: Diana is Shawn's dog. Every time we go into the house she attacks us. That's why she's in there.
1. The purple thing is kind of an inside joke.
****
Disclaimer:
Don't own it. Wish I did.
****
This chapter was written as a special favor to my best friend Shawn. I'm of rather short stature, I'm only 5"2', so Shawn really likes short jokes. So this chapter is full of short jokes and elf groping. Enjoy
*****
"This sucks," Shawn panted. "Stupid forest. Stupid rocks. Stupid roots."
"Hiking sucks," Jo added.
"Yer not wearing flip-flops."
"True, true."
"At least I don't have yer short, stubby legs. Then I'd never be able to keep up."
"I hate you."
"Cummon lassies," Gimli shouted. "You don't want to fall to far behind."
"He's right. Something might chase us and its gotta be hard to run fast with your short legs."
"You really do want to get left behind, don't you?"
"With all the elves running around? A'course I do. But don't feel left out. There's lots of dwarves and hobbit runnin' 'round."
"If you disappear during the night I bet I can make it look like an accident," Jo grumbled.
"You should go live in the shire. You wouldn't have to look up at everyone any more. Better fer your neck."
"Hurry up ladies!" Aragorn shouted.
Shawn quickened her pace and Jo, who had just pounced at Shawn, ended up with a face full of dirt.
"I'm beginning to hate Middle-Earth," Jo mumbled, picking herself up off the ground. "And I don't care what anyone says, sooner or later something is going to try to eat me again. People always get eaten in place like this."
Jo caught up with the group and almost fell over.
Aragorn had obviously decided it was time for a break and everyone was sitting down. Everyone but Shawn. Shawn was busy playing with Legolas's blond hair and remarking on the shape of his ears.
"Guess she can check 'elf groping' off her 'Things to do in Life' list."
"What did you say Lady Jo?" Aragorn asked.
"Nothing," Jo answered and flashed Shawn a thumbs-up. "And you don't have to call me lady. Sounds funny, like something a transvestite would call him/herself."
"A trans what?" Legolas asked.
"Nothing," Jo answered quickly. She didn't want to be the one to introduce that little piece of American culture to Middle-Earth. "Just something from the land we come from."
"You wouldn't look good in purple anyway," Shawn said to Legolas, who looked confused.
"Tell us more about where you're from," Aragorn urged.
"It's pretty boring," Shawn answered.
"And there are no elves?" Legolas asked.
"Nope!" Shawn peeped and hugged him. He gladly returned the favor, making Shawn blush beet red.
"Or hobbits or dwarves or Rangers for that matter," Jo continued. "Just lots of people doing boring things."
"What about your families? What kind of work do your fathers do?"
"We don't really have families," Jo lied through her teeth.
"Then what do you do?"
"We're both students. We spend all our time studying."
"You are both scholars?" Gimli asked.
"Not exactly. Just students."
"What do you study?" Aragorn asked.
"Everything," Jo mumbled.
"Ignore her," Shawn said. "She's disaffected."
"Your homeland sounds very strange."
"Its not though. Not like this place."
"We don't have Orcs or goblins or anything like that," Shawn added, toying with Legolas's braids. "Or pretty elves."
"Pretty?" Legolas asked, again looking confused.
Shawn glomped the startled elf, hugging him until his face turned red.
"Perhaps we should go to sleep," Aragorn suggested. "It is getting late."
"Okay."
As they dug in the bag looking for blankets Shawn asked Jo,"Did it take them more than a day to find Gandalf?"
"Everything will take allot longer here. We're not in the movie."
Jo and Shawn laid back against their bag. When Legolas began to sing softly in elvish Shawn was gone before Jo even realized what was happening.
"Good luck," Jo mumbled and rolled over to get some sleep.
****
For Saiyan-girl-cheetah: Thanks allot for all of the reviews. Reviews mean allot to me *hint hint* I play the clarinet too. I love meeting other band geeks. They're always the most interesting people. ^__^ While we were at Disney we ran into Spider-man and all I'm saying is that guy was really secure with his body. O.o And to be serious: Diana is Shawn's dog. Every time we go into the house she attacks us. That's why she's in there.
1. The purple thing is kind of an inside joke.