Chapter Five: My Life as a Camping Trip
By: Jo-chan
***
Disclaimer:
Don't own it. Wish I did.
***
"Did you eat my animal crackers?" Shawn accused.
"Can't remember. I was delirious from hunger pains cause someone ate the last of my Goldfish crackers."
"Legolas wanted to try them."
"It was a full bag."
"You gave Aragorn my diet coke."
"Only a sip."
"Are you sure you two aren't part hobbit?" Gimli asked.
"If you make a short joke I'll stuff you in the duffel bag," Jo warned.
"I wasn't going to. Don't want to lower myself to that level."
"All the way out here and you still manage to make a Garza joke?"
"Think he'd kill me if I asked him to stop?" Shawn asked, gesturing at Aragorn.
"Dunno. He looked pretty mad last time."
"You ask him. Its your turn."
"Okay but let's wait a little while."
"These are strange tracks," Aragorn observed.
"Treebeard!" Shawn gasped quietly.
"The white wizard walks among us," Legolas said softly.
"Girls," Aragorn hissed and gestured to them. "Stay close to me."
"Anything you say," Jo agreed.
"Do not let him speak," Aragorn warned as they readied their weapons.
"We could save them the trouble," Shawn whispered to Jo. "And have a chance to speak with Gandalf before they set off to Rohan."
"Good idea. Hey Aragorn." She tugged at his sleeve. "Put your weapons away. Its not Sarumon. Its Gandalf the gray."
"He is dead girl," Gimli snorted.
"We know that," Shawn replied. "He's now Gandalf the White. I'll show ya." With that she grabbed Jo and stepped out in front of Aragorn. "Yo Gandalf!"
"Yo Gandalf?" a voice echoed and the clearing was filled with a bright light.
Shawn and Jo were prepared for this and all ready had their arms shielding their eyes. The light died slowly.
"Yo Gandalf?"
The girls smiled up at Gandalf while the men behind them could do nothing but stare. Gandalf smiled back at the girls, a little puzzled but friendly nonetheless.
"We got your letter Gandalf," Jo said. "And here we are. It was a strange trip."
"Ah, yes, but you have survived it," Gandalf answered.
"How can this be?" Aragorn asked. "You fell."
"Into shadow, yeah, yeah," Shawn interrupted. "He beat the Balrog and drifted out of all time and knowledge, blah, blah, blah and here he is."
"Not as elegant as I would have liked but to the point nonetheless," Gandalf chuckled.
"Don't be rude Shawn," Jo cut in, emphasizing her friend's name.
"You girls really do have foresight," Gimli snorted.
"You betcha!" Shawn quipped.
Gandalf laughed heartily. "I assume you have been enjoying my friend's company Master Dwarf."
"I must admit I doubted their claims at first but now I cannot help but believe them."
"Yes, yes. If you'll excuse us my young friends and I need to speak privately." They walked out of earshot and Gandalf regarded the girls questioningly. "Now what is your story?"
"To make it short and sweet we got sent here by some kind of hiccup in the universe or something. We know how all of this is going to end. We couldn't tell them so I made up a story so I'd have a chance to speak with you," Jo explained.
"Ah. You are not from this land."
"Not by a long shot," Shawn added.
"And you want to know if I can help you get home."
"Pretty much."
"I will have to think about this. In the mean time the two of you must watch your actions very closely. There is no telling what your presence here might change."
"That's rule number one," Shawn assured.
Gandalf sighed. "Very well. Let us return to the rest of our company."
..........
"Didn't they have horses in the movie?" Shawn grumbled.
"Maybe the Urki-hai that chased us were the Urks that killed the Rohan guys chased us and so they didn't get killed and so Eomer didn't have any horses to give to Aragorn."
"Yer getting pretty good at that."
"Gets easier and easier with the less sleep you get."
"How far away is Rohan anyway?"
"I dunno. How does anyone manage to sleep out here?"
"Some kind of magic or something."
"You ought to be quiet ladies," Gandalf's voice called.
"If he tells me to be quiet one more time," Jo grumbled.
"If I called him grandpa would he turn me into a toad?"
"You could try. That would be pretty funny."
"Thanks man."
"You know what I mean." Jo paused. "Camping sucks."
"Wish we were in the movie. This really sucks. But I'll get to see Haldir soon."
"If we survive the walk," Jo added.
"And don't get turned into toads."
"Enough ladies!" Gandalf boomed.
When in doubt climb the nearest tree and that's exactly what the both girls did.
"That's one scary grandpa."
"Shhhh."
..........
"Hiking's allot like a hamster wheel."
"What are you babbling about now Shawn?"
"Hiking. Its like a hamster wheel."
"Do you need to sit down?"
"No. Listen to me. We keep going and going but are we really getting anywhere? Really?"
"No thanks. I'll just go find someone who understands me." With that she swept off to Legolas's side.
Jo sighed and looked off into the distance. Something caught her eye and she stopped. "What's that in the distance?" she called to Aragorn.
"That, lady," he answered, "is the city of Edoras and the Golden Hall of Theoden King."
Shawn and Jo 'whooped' in great Aggie tradition and took off running toward the city as fast as they could.
"Think they have a bath?" Jo shouted.
"Doubt it!" Shawn shouted back and stopped short. Jo fell over her and landed in the dirt. "Isn't Theoden being possessed right now?"
Jo propped herself up on one elbow. "Crap. I knew this was too good to be true. Better go back and warn them."
The girls went back to their companions, down hearted.
"You're not as welcome in Rohan as you think," Shawn warned. "Theoden is not himself."
"Yeah. And look out for Wormtongue," Jo added.
"Ewww," Shawn shuttered. " I forgot that guy was here."
"Thank you for the warning," Gandalf said. "Let us continue."
They did and got to the city quickly.
"Look!" Shawn exclaimed to Jo. "It's the 'jump in your pants lady'." When Jo didn't answer Shawn looked over at her. "Where'd she go?" Shawn wondered out loud. "What are you doing at the fence?"
Jo was standing at the fence, her backpack open at her feet. "Uh?"
"What are you doing?"
"The Rohan flag falls, remember? I'm taking it home as a souvenir." The black flag fluttered down as expected. Jo snatched it out of the air and stuffed it in her bag.
"Good idea," Shawn mumbled. "Maybe Legolas would give me his shirt. Or better yet, his pants."
"We are entering the city now ladies," Gandalf called.
"Coming!" the girls yelled in unison.
They entered the city and headed quickly for the Golden Hall. The guards came out and demanded the groups weapons and then escorted them inside. Jo and Shawn hung in the background, watching Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli fight the Rohan guards.
"Shawn! Get back here," Jo hissed. "What are you doing?"
"I'm stealing silverware. You got a souvenir. I want one too."
"Put it back. We'll find something better than a couple of spoons."
"Fine." Shawn heaped the spoons back on the table. "But I'd better get something good," she warned. "Looks like Theoden is back to normal."
They watched the King cause Wormtongue out of the hall.
"He's gonna go cry at his son's graze so we've got some time on our hands."
Shawn tugged at Jo's arm. "Let's go get some momentous." She pushed Jo out of the hall.
"We can't just go steal stuff."
"They're gonna leave it all behind anyway."
"Do not wander ladies." Legolas appeared on the steps suddenly. He grinned and steered the girls back into the hall. "I would not want any servants of the enemy taking you two from us."
"Sure. We'll stay in the hall," Jo answered and dragged Shawn away before she could tie the elf down and use him shamelessly. "I know we're not at home but I bet you can still get in trouble for that."
"Can I take him home as a souvenir? Or Haldir?"
"I dunno. Lower your voice."
"You get one. I get one too," Shawn whispered.
"A flag is not quite the same as an elf," Jo whispered back.
"Are you two arguing again?" Aragorn asked.
The girls looked up, startled.
"You guys really need to stop sneaking up on people. Give someone a heart attack popping out of nowhere like that," Jo complained.
Aragorn eyed her curiously. "Your homeland must be very strange," he observed. "Why don't you two rest? We will be here awhile."
...........
A bag of peanut butter M&Ms and a short nap later, Theoden returned to the Golden Hall with Gandalf. While everyone stood and bowed the girls, who didn't know anything about Middle-Earth customs, remained sitting side by side on the duffel bag.
"You must be Gandalf's friends," Theoden observed as they sprang to their feet. "The ones with the gift of foresight."
"We are your, uh, majesty. I'm Jo and she's Shawn."
"Sorry we didn't bow," Shawn muttered.
Theoden waved a dismissive hand and sat on his throne. "It is not important. What is important s what is to come. Gandalf has give me disturbing news. Saruman has betrayed us, the Westerfold has fallen, and Eomer is banished."
"Right," Jo mumbled.
"Tell me, what do your far eyes see? What will become of Rohan?"
Jo glanced at Shawn nervously. "We don't know everything."
Theoden interrupted her. "You knew Gandalf would reappear. Surely you must know something."
"I really can't say that I do."
"Come now girl. Tell me what you see."
"Theoden," Aragorn cut in. "They are but children. Do no press them without merit. They are weary from the journey."
"Last time I checked Theoden, not Aragorn, was King of Rohan," Theoden responded coldly.
"Foresight is a fickle gift Theoden king," Gandalf added. "It cannot be summoned at will and is not always correct. One action may change the course of all actions."
"But surely they know something. Speak girls and tell me what you know."
"You must fight Saruman," Jo said carefully. "But you cannot do it here."
"Your little friend confirms my fears Gandalf. We must go to Helm's Deep."
***
1. Garza=Mr. Garza=our band director. He likes to make puns and one day I'm going to chunk my clarinet at him.
2. When an Aggie, someone who goes to A&M, hears something they like they whoop.
3. The 'jump in your pants lady' is Eowyn. We call her that cause quite frankly she wanted to jump in Aragorn's pants.
By: Jo-chan
***
Disclaimer:
Don't own it. Wish I did.
***
"Did you eat my animal crackers?" Shawn accused.
"Can't remember. I was delirious from hunger pains cause someone ate the last of my Goldfish crackers."
"Legolas wanted to try them."
"It was a full bag."
"You gave Aragorn my diet coke."
"Only a sip."
"Are you sure you two aren't part hobbit?" Gimli asked.
"If you make a short joke I'll stuff you in the duffel bag," Jo warned.
"I wasn't going to. Don't want to lower myself to that level."
"All the way out here and you still manage to make a Garza joke?"
"Think he'd kill me if I asked him to stop?" Shawn asked, gesturing at Aragorn.
"Dunno. He looked pretty mad last time."
"You ask him. Its your turn."
"Okay but let's wait a little while."
"These are strange tracks," Aragorn observed.
"Treebeard!" Shawn gasped quietly.
"The white wizard walks among us," Legolas said softly.
"Girls," Aragorn hissed and gestured to them. "Stay close to me."
"Anything you say," Jo agreed.
"Do not let him speak," Aragorn warned as they readied their weapons.
"We could save them the trouble," Shawn whispered to Jo. "And have a chance to speak with Gandalf before they set off to Rohan."
"Good idea. Hey Aragorn." She tugged at his sleeve. "Put your weapons away. Its not Sarumon. Its Gandalf the gray."
"He is dead girl," Gimli snorted.
"We know that," Shawn replied. "He's now Gandalf the White. I'll show ya." With that she grabbed Jo and stepped out in front of Aragorn. "Yo Gandalf!"
"Yo Gandalf?" a voice echoed and the clearing was filled with a bright light.
Shawn and Jo were prepared for this and all ready had their arms shielding their eyes. The light died slowly.
"Yo Gandalf?"
The girls smiled up at Gandalf while the men behind them could do nothing but stare. Gandalf smiled back at the girls, a little puzzled but friendly nonetheless.
"We got your letter Gandalf," Jo said. "And here we are. It was a strange trip."
"Ah, yes, but you have survived it," Gandalf answered.
"How can this be?" Aragorn asked. "You fell."
"Into shadow, yeah, yeah," Shawn interrupted. "He beat the Balrog and drifted out of all time and knowledge, blah, blah, blah and here he is."
"Not as elegant as I would have liked but to the point nonetheless," Gandalf chuckled.
"Don't be rude Shawn," Jo cut in, emphasizing her friend's name.
"You girls really do have foresight," Gimli snorted.
"You betcha!" Shawn quipped.
Gandalf laughed heartily. "I assume you have been enjoying my friend's company Master Dwarf."
"I must admit I doubted their claims at first but now I cannot help but believe them."
"Yes, yes. If you'll excuse us my young friends and I need to speak privately." They walked out of earshot and Gandalf regarded the girls questioningly. "Now what is your story?"
"To make it short and sweet we got sent here by some kind of hiccup in the universe or something. We know how all of this is going to end. We couldn't tell them so I made up a story so I'd have a chance to speak with you," Jo explained.
"Ah. You are not from this land."
"Not by a long shot," Shawn added.
"And you want to know if I can help you get home."
"Pretty much."
"I will have to think about this. In the mean time the two of you must watch your actions very closely. There is no telling what your presence here might change."
"That's rule number one," Shawn assured.
Gandalf sighed. "Very well. Let us return to the rest of our company."
..........
"Didn't they have horses in the movie?" Shawn grumbled.
"Maybe the Urki-hai that chased us were the Urks that killed the Rohan guys chased us and so they didn't get killed and so Eomer didn't have any horses to give to Aragorn."
"Yer getting pretty good at that."
"Gets easier and easier with the less sleep you get."
"How far away is Rohan anyway?"
"I dunno. How does anyone manage to sleep out here?"
"Some kind of magic or something."
"You ought to be quiet ladies," Gandalf's voice called.
"If he tells me to be quiet one more time," Jo grumbled.
"If I called him grandpa would he turn me into a toad?"
"You could try. That would be pretty funny."
"Thanks man."
"You know what I mean." Jo paused. "Camping sucks."
"Wish we were in the movie. This really sucks. But I'll get to see Haldir soon."
"If we survive the walk," Jo added.
"And don't get turned into toads."
"Enough ladies!" Gandalf boomed.
When in doubt climb the nearest tree and that's exactly what the both girls did.
"That's one scary grandpa."
"Shhhh."
..........
"Hiking's allot like a hamster wheel."
"What are you babbling about now Shawn?"
"Hiking. Its like a hamster wheel."
"Do you need to sit down?"
"No. Listen to me. We keep going and going but are we really getting anywhere? Really?"
"No thanks. I'll just go find someone who understands me." With that she swept off to Legolas's side.
Jo sighed and looked off into the distance. Something caught her eye and she stopped. "What's that in the distance?" she called to Aragorn.
"That, lady," he answered, "is the city of Edoras and the Golden Hall of Theoden King."
Shawn and Jo 'whooped' in great Aggie tradition and took off running toward the city as fast as they could.
"Think they have a bath?" Jo shouted.
"Doubt it!" Shawn shouted back and stopped short. Jo fell over her and landed in the dirt. "Isn't Theoden being possessed right now?"
Jo propped herself up on one elbow. "Crap. I knew this was too good to be true. Better go back and warn them."
The girls went back to their companions, down hearted.
"You're not as welcome in Rohan as you think," Shawn warned. "Theoden is not himself."
"Yeah. And look out for Wormtongue," Jo added.
"Ewww," Shawn shuttered. " I forgot that guy was here."
"Thank you for the warning," Gandalf said. "Let us continue."
They did and got to the city quickly.
"Look!" Shawn exclaimed to Jo. "It's the 'jump in your pants lady'." When Jo didn't answer Shawn looked over at her. "Where'd she go?" Shawn wondered out loud. "What are you doing at the fence?"
Jo was standing at the fence, her backpack open at her feet. "Uh?"
"What are you doing?"
"The Rohan flag falls, remember? I'm taking it home as a souvenir." The black flag fluttered down as expected. Jo snatched it out of the air and stuffed it in her bag.
"Good idea," Shawn mumbled. "Maybe Legolas would give me his shirt. Or better yet, his pants."
"We are entering the city now ladies," Gandalf called.
"Coming!" the girls yelled in unison.
They entered the city and headed quickly for the Golden Hall. The guards came out and demanded the groups weapons and then escorted them inside. Jo and Shawn hung in the background, watching Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli fight the Rohan guards.
"Shawn! Get back here," Jo hissed. "What are you doing?"
"I'm stealing silverware. You got a souvenir. I want one too."
"Put it back. We'll find something better than a couple of spoons."
"Fine." Shawn heaped the spoons back on the table. "But I'd better get something good," she warned. "Looks like Theoden is back to normal."
They watched the King cause Wormtongue out of the hall.
"He's gonna go cry at his son's graze so we've got some time on our hands."
Shawn tugged at Jo's arm. "Let's go get some momentous." She pushed Jo out of the hall.
"We can't just go steal stuff."
"They're gonna leave it all behind anyway."
"Do not wander ladies." Legolas appeared on the steps suddenly. He grinned and steered the girls back into the hall. "I would not want any servants of the enemy taking you two from us."
"Sure. We'll stay in the hall," Jo answered and dragged Shawn away before she could tie the elf down and use him shamelessly. "I know we're not at home but I bet you can still get in trouble for that."
"Can I take him home as a souvenir? Or Haldir?"
"I dunno. Lower your voice."
"You get one. I get one too," Shawn whispered.
"A flag is not quite the same as an elf," Jo whispered back.
"Are you two arguing again?" Aragorn asked.
The girls looked up, startled.
"You guys really need to stop sneaking up on people. Give someone a heart attack popping out of nowhere like that," Jo complained.
Aragorn eyed her curiously. "Your homeland must be very strange," he observed. "Why don't you two rest? We will be here awhile."
...........
A bag of peanut butter M&Ms and a short nap later, Theoden returned to the Golden Hall with Gandalf. While everyone stood and bowed the girls, who didn't know anything about Middle-Earth customs, remained sitting side by side on the duffel bag.
"You must be Gandalf's friends," Theoden observed as they sprang to their feet. "The ones with the gift of foresight."
"We are your, uh, majesty. I'm Jo and she's Shawn."
"Sorry we didn't bow," Shawn muttered.
Theoden waved a dismissive hand and sat on his throne. "It is not important. What is important s what is to come. Gandalf has give me disturbing news. Saruman has betrayed us, the Westerfold has fallen, and Eomer is banished."
"Right," Jo mumbled.
"Tell me, what do your far eyes see? What will become of Rohan?"
Jo glanced at Shawn nervously. "We don't know everything."
Theoden interrupted her. "You knew Gandalf would reappear. Surely you must know something."
"I really can't say that I do."
"Come now girl. Tell me what you see."
"Theoden," Aragorn cut in. "They are but children. Do no press them without merit. They are weary from the journey."
"Last time I checked Theoden, not Aragorn, was King of Rohan," Theoden responded coldly.
"Foresight is a fickle gift Theoden king," Gandalf added. "It cannot be summoned at will and is not always correct. One action may change the course of all actions."
"But surely they know something. Speak girls and tell me what you know."
"You must fight Saruman," Jo said carefully. "But you cannot do it here."
"Your little friend confirms my fears Gandalf. We must go to Helm's Deep."
***
1. Garza=Mr. Garza=our band director. He likes to make puns and one day I'm going to chunk my clarinet at him.
2. When an Aggie, someone who goes to A&M, hears something they like they whoop.
3. The 'jump in your pants lady' is Eowyn. We call her that cause quite frankly she wanted to jump in Aragorn's pants.