Chapter Eight: Saving Haldir!
By: Jo-chan
****
Disclaimer:
Don't own it.
****
"Haldir. Haldir. Haldir," Shawn chanted as she dragged Jo down a deserted hallway. "Haldir. Haldir. Haldir."
"Thank you Peter Jackson," Jo mumbled. "Without your creative genius I wouldn't be in this mess."
"Yes but without Peter Jackson we wouldn't have eye candy at Helm's Deep or Aragorn singing in the Fellowship."
"Oh Peter Jackson, I love you!"
"Haldir. Haldir. Haldir."
Jo stopped suddenly, forcing Shawn to stop as well. "Before we go gallivanting into a deadly battle don't you think we should prepare ourselves?"
"Like write a will?"
"No. Like get some armor so we don't get shot full of arrows."
"You and your logic," Shawn huffed.
"Lets go find an armory. We've got lots of time before Theoden calls everyone back."
After poking around in various rooms and fighting off dust bunnies with a stick they found a room full of armor and weapons.
"Hope you can find some chain mail in your size," Shawn said cheerfully.
"Shut up." Jo pulled a shirt of mail out of the pile and pulled it on. "Wish I could have seen Aragorn dress for battle. That was really sexy in the movie."
"You can always see him undress after the battle. Let's go save Haldir." Chain mail clinking, Shawn dragged a beet red Jo down the hall. "Haldir. Haldir. Haldir"
"Look. You can see the breached wall."
The girls stopped at the window and watched the battle.
"Well, let's go. Gotta save Haldir."
Jo, who was halfway down the hall by now, stopped.
"Where are you going?"
"Uh....to get more band-aides?"
"That shouldn't sound like a question. Cummon. Haldir. Haldir. Haldir."
"I'm gonna die," Jo mumbled.
................
"This is the worst idea we've ever had!"
"You promised!"
"I never said I was backing out! I just said this was a bad idea!"
The girls shouted at each other over the battle, scanning the mass of fighters for Haldir.
"I don't wanna die!" Jo shouted.
"You want a piece of pie?" Shawn shouted back.
"Oh never mind."
"What kind?"
Both girls screamed and jumped away as an arrow flew past them. Shawn grabbed Jo and dragged her closer to the breached wall, crouching behind a pile of rocks.
"They go beyond the breached wall and Aragorn calls them back, right?" Shawn shouted.
"Yeah! But you have to wait for Theoden to give the order!"
"How long 'til he does that?"
"I have no idea! Stuff takes allot longer around here! This battle lasts until the morning!"
"What time is it?"
"Dunno! I took my watch off cause it was too noticeable!"
"You never go anywhere without that stupid thing! You decide to take it off now!?"
"Didn't know I was going gallivanting to my death! I would have left it on!"
An arrow came whizzing through the air, startling the girls. Jo jumped one way and Shawn went another.
...................
"Oh crap," Jo mumbled to herself. She glanced around for Shawn but didn't see her. "This is perfect. Not only am I going to die, I'm going to die alone."
Jo got up and started scrambling along the wall, trying to stay away from the Uruk.
"Death," someone whispered.
Jo stopped moving and looked around. She didn't see anything. She shrugged and started walking again.
"Death."
"Whose doing that?!" Jo demanded and got no answer.
"Death."
Jo whirled around and saw the tall she-elf who had thrown her across the cave. "You! What are you doing?"
The elf shrugged mutely, looking around as if she were confused.
"Cut it out and go away.
"Death," the elf whispered.
"I said cut it out!"
"Cake or death?" the elf whispered.
"Can I have the chicken?"
...............
"Hey Jo?" Shawn asked. When she didn't get an answer she shrugged. "Haldir. Haldir. Haldir."
She hurried to the breached wall, watching the elves she passed forlornly. 'I'll come back and grope you later,' she promised silently and grinned.
Shawn reached the wall and crouched behind a piece of rock. She spotted Haldir and almost jumped at him but forced herself to wait until they were called back.
Aragorn started yelling in elvish and Haldir turned and nodded. Shawn sprang from her hiding spot and grabbed Haldir. The arrow that was supposed to kill him clattered harmlessly to the ground.
"Shawn?" Haldir and Aragorn asked at the same time.
Shawn, who was groping Haldir, grinned. "I saved you!"
"I owe you my life," Haldir said, slightly dazed.
"Where I come from if someone saves your life you have to become their servant," Shawn said cheerfully. "Its only proper.
"Hey!" You saved him!" Jo hurried toward them.
"What are you two doing out here?!" Aragorn demanded.
Shawn held up a sign that read: saving=groping. Jo grabbed it away before anyone could read it.
"Haldir was going to die. Shawn went to save him and I followed," Jo explained.
"You are both lucky you are not shot full of arrows! At least you had the sense to put on mail," Aragorn groused. He grabbed Jo's arm. "Get that one, would you?" he asked Haldir, gesturing at Shawn.
Shawn glopped Haldir, who had almost died and had yet to recover.
"Back to the caves," Aragorn ordered.
************
1. I love Peter Jackson.
2. I LOVE ARAGORN SINGING!!!!!!!!!!
3. Cake or death is a skit done by a very funny transvestite comedian. Its now an inside joke.
4. First of all, hi Shawn. When are you coming back? You gotta come Holly-sit with me tomorrow. Second of all it never said 'ride it Aragorn' it always said 'ride to Aragorn'. Shows you were Shawn's mind is. The yellow notepad is almost done for Shawn. I've only got five pages left. And don't bother bribing me with soda. I gave them up for Lent. . Anyway come Holly sit with me and I'll write more. If you don't I won't. ^___^ And Fenry isn't dead. Don't scare me like that.
By: Jo-chan
****
Disclaimer:
Don't own it.
****
"Haldir. Haldir. Haldir," Shawn chanted as she dragged Jo down a deserted hallway. "Haldir. Haldir. Haldir."
"Thank you Peter Jackson," Jo mumbled. "Without your creative genius I wouldn't be in this mess."
"Yes but without Peter Jackson we wouldn't have eye candy at Helm's Deep or Aragorn singing in the Fellowship."
"Oh Peter Jackson, I love you!"
"Haldir. Haldir. Haldir."
Jo stopped suddenly, forcing Shawn to stop as well. "Before we go gallivanting into a deadly battle don't you think we should prepare ourselves?"
"Like write a will?"
"No. Like get some armor so we don't get shot full of arrows."
"You and your logic," Shawn huffed.
"Lets go find an armory. We've got lots of time before Theoden calls everyone back."
After poking around in various rooms and fighting off dust bunnies with a stick they found a room full of armor and weapons.
"Hope you can find some chain mail in your size," Shawn said cheerfully.
"Shut up." Jo pulled a shirt of mail out of the pile and pulled it on. "Wish I could have seen Aragorn dress for battle. That was really sexy in the movie."
"You can always see him undress after the battle. Let's go save Haldir." Chain mail clinking, Shawn dragged a beet red Jo down the hall. "Haldir. Haldir. Haldir"
"Look. You can see the breached wall."
The girls stopped at the window and watched the battle.
"Well, let's go. Gotta save Haldir."
Jo, who was halfway down the hall by now, stopped.
"Where are you going?"
"Uh....to get more band-aides?"
"That shouldn't sound like a question. Cummon. Haldir. Haldir. Haldir."
"I'm gonna die," Jo mumbled.
................
"This is the worst idea we've ever had!"
"You promised!"
"I never said I was backing out! I just said this was a bad idea!"
The girls shouted at each other over the battle, scanning the mass of fighters for Haldir.
"I don't wanna die!" Jo shouted.
"You want a piece of pie?" Shawn shouted back.
"Oh never mind."
"What kind?"
Both girls screamed and jumped away as an arrow flew past them. Shawn grabbed Jo and dragged her closer to the breached wall, crouching behind a pile of rocks.
"They go beyond the breached wall and Aragorn calls them back, right?" Shawn shouted.
"Yeah! But you have to wait for Theoden to give the order!"
"How long 'til he does that?"
"I have no idea! Stuff takes allot longer around here! This battle lasts until the morning!"
"What time is it?"
"Dunno! I took my watch off cause it was too noticeable!"
"You never go anywhere without that stupid thing! You decide to take it off now!?"
"Didn't know I was going gallivanting to my death! I would have left it on!"
An arrow came whizzing through the air, startling the girls. Jo jumped one way and Shawn went another.
...................
"Oh crap," Jo mumbled to herself. She glanced around for Shawn but didn't see her. "This is perfect. Not only am I going to die, I'm going to die alone."
Jo got up and started scrambling along the wall, trying to stay away from the Uruk.
"Death," someone whispered.
Jo stopped moving and looked around. She didn't see anything. She shrugged and started walking again.
"Death."
"Whose doing that?!" Jo demanded and got no answer.
"Death."
Jo whirled around and saw the tall she-elf who had thrown her across the cave. "You! What are you doing?"
The elf shrugged mutely, looking around as if she were confused.
"Cut it out and go away.
"Death," the elf whispered.
"I said cut it out!"
"Cake or death?" the elf whispered.
"Can I have the chicken?"
...............
"Hey Jo?" Shawn asked. When she didn't get an answer she shrugged. "Haldir. Haldir. Haldir."
She hurried to the breached wall, watching the elves she passed forlornly. 'I'll come back and grope you later,' she promised silently and grinned.
Shawn reached the wall and crouched behind a piece of rock. She spotted Haldir and almost jumped at him but forced herself to wait until they were called back.
Aragorn started yelling in elvish and Haldir turned and nodded. Shawn sprang from her hiding spot and grabbed Haldir. The arrow that was supposed to kill him clattered harmlessly to the ground.
"Shawn?" Haldir and Aragorn asked at the same time.
Shawn, who was groping Haldir, grinned. "I saved you!"
"I owe you my life," Haldir said, slightly dazed.
"Where I come from if someone saves your life you have to become their servant," Shawn said cheerfully. "Its only proper.
"Hey!" You saved him!" Jo hurried toward them.
"What are you two doing out here?!" Aragorn demanded.
Shawn held up a sign that read: saving=groping. Jo grabbed it away before anyone could read it.
"Haldir was going to die. Shawn went to save him and I followed," Jo explained.
"You are both lucky you are not shot full of arrows! At least you had the sense to put on mail," Aragorn groused. He grabbed Jo's arm. "Get that one, would you?" he asked Haldir, gesturing at Shawn.
Shawn glopped Haldir, who had almost died and had yet to recover.
"Back to the caves," Aragorn ordered.
************
1. I love Peter Jackson.
2. I LOVE ARAGORN SINGING!!!!!!!!!!
3. Cake or death is a skit done by a very funny transvestite comedian. Its now an inside joke.
4. First of all, hi Shawn. When are you coming back? You gotta come Holly-sit with me tomorrow. Second of all it never said 'ride it Aragorn' it always said 'ride to Aragorn'. Shows you were Shawn's mind is. The yellow notepad is almost done for Shawn. I've only got five pages left. And don't bother bribing me with soda. I gave them up for Lent. . Anyway come Holly sit with me and I'll write more. If you don't I won't. ^___^ And Fenry isn't dead. Don't scare me like that.