Title: The Truth 2 – Don't mention bees

Rating: PG-13


Spoilers:

X-Files: Anything and everything before 'Requiem.'

Stargate SG-1: Anything and everything before 'Meridian.'


Summary: The one where they run into a bee, and SG-1 meet Skinner and Kersh.

Details: Humour, Crossover, NTBTS (not to be taken seriously!)

Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.

Copyright © 2003, Ruth

~ The Truth 2 – Don't mention bees ~

By Ruth

**********

"Sam, this is my supervisor, Assistant Director Skinner," Scully said, introducing the two people.

Sam smiled and shook the man's hand. He was tall, and the top of his head was bald, but he had a twinkle in his eye that Sam instantly took a shine to.

Jack didn't.

"I'm Jack O'Neill, with two L's."

"Nice to meet you, Jack O'Neill with two L's."

"This is Daniel Jackson."

"Hi!"

"Hi."

"And Teal'c."

"It is an honor to finally meet you, Assistant Director. I have great respect for you."

"Thank you."

"Oh, what the fuck is he doing here?" Mulder asked, as Kersh walked into the room.

"He wants to see if this mission deserves the FBI funding, or something like that. Personally, I think he's just here to glare."

"Oh, don't worry – Jack can do that."

"What?"

**********

They all set off to find THE TRUTH late that afternoon, in two Air Force jeeps. Sam, Scully, Skinner and Mulder were in one, and Daniel, Teal'c, Jack and Kersh were in the other.

General Hammond was going to follow on later – he had to towel his bald patch dry.

**********

After an hour, they arrived in the middle of a green field with daisies. None of them knew exactly what they were doing there, but decided that it was as good a place to look for THE TRUTH as any.

As they jumped out of the jeeps, Daniel fell on his face and promptly had a sneezing fit due to the pollen.

"Oh look," Jack smiled, "A bee!"

"AAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!" Mulder and Scully screamed and ran away from the tiny insect.

"It's just a bee," said Jack, looking at Sam in confusion.

She shrugged. "Maybe they're allergic."

"No," said Skinner, "They're not allergic."

"Care to explain the 'scream and run away when you see a bee' then?"

"No. It's personal."

"For crying out loud, how personal can running away from a bee be?"

"You'd be surprised," said Skinner, and went to calm his agents down.

**********

"It's gone?"

"Yes, Agent Scully, it's gone."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Agent Mulder, I'm sure."

"Phew – that was a close one."

"What's with all this bee phobia, anyway?" Jack asked.

"It's a long story – one I'm not inclined to share with you."

"Oooh! Fine then, foxy quiff, I shan't ask!"

**********

Teal'c was insanely aggrivated. The man named Kersh was proving to be a great annoyance. All he did was glare and shout at his friends – and Teal'c didn't like that one bit.

"What's your name, then?" Kersh asked, as though he didn't really care (which he didn't.)

"I am Teal'c."

"What the hell kind of a name is Teal'c?" Kersh asked, glaring at Teal'c.

"It is better than yours, Mister Kersh," Teal'c replied, and fell back to walk with Sam.

"What's that thingy on your head, then?" Kersh continued. "A tattoo?"

"It represents slavery to false Gods."

"What's it made of? Plastic?"

Teal'c smiled. "No. First they carved the shape into my head with a blunt knife and then poured molten gold into the wound!"

He said this so cheerfully that Kersh nearly puked – but had to contain himself, because the FBI budget wouldn't allow him to ruin his suit.

**********

Just as he was thinking this, Daniel sneezed down Kersh's suit and ruined it.

Justice was done.

**********

NEXT TIME…

The search for the truth continues…

"Agh! It's Knowle Rohrer!"

They all ran away from the man, screaming. Teal'c fired his staff weapon at Knowle's head and he fell to the ground, supposedly dead.

Once they had all turned their backs, however, the man rose again.

TO BE CONTINUED…