Chapter 4: In The Bath House
"Hello, young man, can we help you?"
"Which way to the men's side?" asked Ryoga.
"Right over there…. No, that's the women's side… come back here, I pointed right there! Oh… I wonder if I should get him out of there?"
Meanwhile, Shampoo was talking happily to Happosai.
"You no go hot water. You turn man."
"BUT I WANNA!"
"No! Stay in cold shower!"
"Only fat old ladies are there!"
"No! Bad Ranma!"
"WAIT UP!" yelled Ranma, jumping in just at that moment.
There was an instant uproar.
"IT'S THE UNDERWEAR THIEF!"
"PERVERT! PERVERT!"
"YOU'VE TAKEN AWAY MY BODY, BUT YOU WILL NOT TAKE AWAY MY REPUTATION!" Ranma was yelling in Happosai's surprisingly loud voice.
"Ranma! Get out!" yelled Akane, skidding in. "And Happosai, it looks weird when you're feeling up other girls when you're one yourself."
"HOW SWEET!"
"Akane!" yelled Shampoo, standing up. "You no interfere! I marry Ranma when Happosai is him!"
"Akane?" whispered Ryoga, trying to find the exit to the women's dressing room (by opening every locker) without being seen. "What can I do to show her my true feelings?"
"AAH! IT'S A MAN IN THE LOCKER ROOM!"
"I… I don't…"
"Oh! Ryoga!" yelled Happosai, rushing in, now in male form, "You like stealing panties too?"
"TWO MEN!"
"If I have to kill myself… well, not really myself… I will NOT marry Shampoo!"
"THREE MEN!"
"E-N-O-U-G-H!"
Two fiery-red battle spirits rose into the air. The gigantic Ranma and Happosai were staring at each other, both naked but impressive nonetheless.
"It's payback time!" yelled the wrinkled Ranma.
"You dare hit your master?" roared the muscular Happosai.
"You forget, now that I'm in your body I get all your powers!"
"Come on, let's get out of here," Akane urged Ryoga. Ryoga stood transfixed, staring up at the hovering battle auras as Ranma and Happosai prepared to fight.
"RAARGH!"
"UUUURGH!"
"HAYAI!"
"WAHOO!"
The shapes above were moving so fast nobody could see what was going on. Both threw their whole life into the fight, dodging, punching, kicking…
"HAAARUGH!!!"
"Hey, look at that!"
"Ooh, Hey Cutie-Pie!"
Instantly, both battle auras faded as Ranma and Happosai raced across the room towards the same girl.
"She's mine, I noticed her first!" yelled Ranma.
"But you're old and wrinkly!" Happosai yelled back.
"I…can't…believe…it!" growled Akane through clenched teeth.
"How can I marry a man like either of them?" wailed Shampoo. "Oh, what will great-grandmother do to me?"
"Oink oink," agreed Ryoga, who had been splashed with cold water during the chaos. "Oink, oink."