Disclaimer: The characters of Harry Potter and the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy are not mine. If you do not understand my references to the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy PICK UP THE BOOK AND READ IT!

From deep within the confines of the mysterious room of mystery, came a voice.

"Ron Weasley, you are the weakest link! ....er....You may now enter the room."

Ron took a deep breath, smiled weakly at Hermione, and walked inside. He hadn't seen Harry come out of the room. Beads of sweat stood out on his forehead.

He didn't know that Harry had been floated out of the window on a stretcher minutes before, after his encounter of They-Which-Should-Never-Ever-Ever-Be-Named-Seen-Or-Worshiped. He didn't know that there was a person, a muggle, hiding behind a pile of boxes, waiting for him. And there was no way he could fathom that the muggle had devious ideas stored deep in her mind, waiting for the chance to attack with them.

A voice muttered something indistinct. Ron spun around looking for the source. "Er...Hello?" He called, his voice echoing on the stone walls.

But, a problem arose. The stone walls were quickly melting away into what appeared to be metal walls. Ron looked down, and found that the floor was also quickly becoming metal. He began to back away, in an attempt to leave, but hit himself hard in the back of the knees, and fell right into a chair. A rather nicely upholstered chair in fact. A nicely upholstered chair that now had things strapping him into the it. Now that the shock had worn away of going from a stone room to a chair that he was strapped into in a metal room, Ron did the first thing that came to his mind. He screamed.

He screamed for a good solid minute until he heard footsteps growing ever closer. Now his screaming became a mere whimper.

Whatever had been making the sound of the footsteps turned a corner. Ron could only gawk. Whatever it was, was big, green and ugly. It said something that Ron assumed was meant toward him, but wasn't quite sure because all he heard was what sounded like a mix between a howl and a gargle. Ron stared blankly at it.

The thing walked over and grasped Ron's head with thick, rubbery "hands". It tilted his head to one side and pulled out a small fish from somewhere.

"Hey! What are you doing?! What are you doing with that fish? Hey! Get off of my head!" Ron protested, regaining his ability to speak.

The thing took the fish and put it in Ron ear. Ron suddenly felt violently ill as he could feel the fish in his ear. He turned a strange shade of green and it took him a while to realize that another big, green thing had appeared behind a podium, which had appeared in front of him. He looked at the thing, and instantly felt even worse.

It looked at him and cleared it's throat. "Ahem," It began, "Welcome to your personal session of Vogon Poetry. You have had a Babel fish put into your ear to enhance this reading. As you can see, you have been strapped into this chair, so there is no avoiding this. This will be incredibly painful for you and we will delight in your pain. Have a nice rest of your life," It continued. It took Ron a moment to realize that this thing... this Vogon was speaking in perfect English. Though he didn't know it, the Babel fish that had been placed in his ear minutes before was translating the Vogon language for him.

"Ahem," the Vogon said again. "Now the poem," It cleared it's throat and began to read.

"On a higglediwiggled day,

I found the grafpishes of a morfurp.

Though recplimed of rictoray,

Surrounded the tyerites of a corsurp."

Ron's head was in intense pain and the world around him started to swirl. Unfortunately for him, though, he would not be able to return to the stone room yet. He could not completely understand the true nature of the Vogon's poem, but even without knowing he was subjected to the most severe pain of his life thus far. The Vogon continued reading.

" 'Figglepersniggle orfigle' said I,

And the morfurp perluky fersmellguim.

'Orlukie porlukie' it did reply

The dreadful morfurp. Belgium."

With the final comment Ron passed out. Though he did not know it, the Babel fish translating for him, had unfortunately translated the last word. Belgium is well know for being the absolute worst word in the Universe.

The Vogon space ship melted, the chair melted, and the Babel fish melted. Ron, also, was put on a stretcher, and drifted out through the window.

The evil voice laughed again, "Only four left!"