Chapter Four -
Ladies and gentlemen, I do believe it is now time to go in persuit of the famous mister Harry Potter.
Seeing no-one around here seems to know of his where-abouts, we might aswell go back to his old house on Privet drive.
Who knows we might be able to have an interview with the famous Dursleys. A quick train ride later, we arrived at Kingston Station and soon enough we where standing outside his old house.
'Knock knock'
No answer.
'Knock knock'
Still no answer.
'Knock knock knock' (A/N: okay now I'm just taking up space)
We stood listening for an answer when we heard a strange sort of cackling coming from the back corner of the house. We snuck around and luckily there was a ladder up against the window.
Naturally I left my crew on the ground and went up nyself and what I saw was so unimaginable its hard to describe, but I'll try.
I spotted Mrs. Dursley, A.K.A. Petunia, running around her bedroom in a black tablecloth and orange witchs-hat, which she probably found on the road before.
She was galloping over the bed, with a vaccuum cleaner between her legs.
"Wackeldy - Wiggeldy - Smuggully - Ditch. I am the worlds greatest witch. I am Lily Evans. Shut-up Petunia, your just a muggle. Watch me Petunia, I can levitate" she annouces proudly.
With this she stands on the bed and then turns the vaccuum cleaner upside- down and sets it to reverse. A huge gush of dusty wind forces her black tablecloth upwards.
"I'm flying! I'm flying!!"
After a few minutes of standing there with air blowing up her gown she gets bored and turns it off.
With that she snickers and crouches over to her dresser, where she mimes that shes taking out a large sheet.
She wiggles her empty hands in front of her face, and shakes off the witches hat.
"They'll never catch me in my invisibilty clock," she whispers in an evil voice.
With that she throws off her black tablecloth and I am shocked to realise she is not wearing anything underneath it.
She throws the 'invisible cloth' over herself and runs under the bed with a smile on her face.
Okay this is getting a little bit weird.
I turn and go back down the ladder but as I'm getting off, the ladder moves and falls from the window. I can hear rustling from Petunias room as she picks up her black cloak and sticks her head out the window, to see us jumping the fence of her backyard.
"Noooooooooooo!!!" I can hear her scream.
"Take me with you!!! For I am professor Petunia, queen of the maggle world!! Wait I know how to fly!"
We turn to see her falling out of her window only held by her high-heeled shoe she was wearing.
We continued to run, not stopping until we reached the train station. This might be a good time to tell you guys, there isn't really a platform 9 and 3/4's. Its just a wizard joke.
So for all you idiots running into a brick wall on Kingston station, I reckon you should stop now. Even Harry and Ron were stupid enough to run into the wall when the spell wasn't cast.
So follow me to the normal station.
I am relieved when we get back to Hogwarts until I passed the quidditch field and spot Oliver Wood climbing halfway up the quidditch goals screaming.
"Billy!!! Get down from there! I told you your head wont fit through that hoop!! Duck Billy...its a bludger!!" Oliver yells, as one of the younger member starts throwing rocks at him.
"I know Billy...I'll get the Hufflepuff girl!"
As I walk away, I notice Professor Sprout and Professor McGonagall poking Oliver with long sticks.
In the Hogwarts castle, no-body seems to be out. I suppose there all just in class...sleeping or stoned, so I start having a leisurely conversation with a portrait, who apparently has been having trouble with hemoroids.
Thats when for some strange reason I get my next idea for a proper interview.
Ronald Weasley...Transfestite Extrodinare.
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
A/N: For pictures relating to this story visit
www . angelfire . com/ space/ mybackgrounds/ zpotter . html
(Take out the spaces, exept the word 'space')
Thanks to all the nice reviewers who took a fricken second of their lives and make me continue the story...trust me guys the best is yet to come.
Ladies and gentlemen, I do believe it is now time to go in persuit of the famous mister Harry Potter.
Seeing no-one around here seems to know of his where-abouts, we might aswell go back to his old house on Privet drive.
Who knows we might be able to have an interview with the famous Dursleys. A quick train ride later, we arrived at Kingston Station and soon enough we where standing outside his old house.
'Knock knock'
No answer.
'Knock knock'
Still no answer.
'Knock knock knock' (A/N: okay now I'm just taking up space)
We stood listening for an answer when we heard a strange sort of cackling coming from the back corner of the house. We snuck around and luckily there was a ladder up against the window.
Naturally I left my crew on the ground and went up nyself and what I saw was so unimaginable its hard to describe, but I'll try.
I spotted Mrs. Dursley, A.K.A. Petunia, running around her bedroom in a black tablecloth and orange witchs-hat, which she probably found on the road before.
She was galloping over the bed, with a vaccuum cleaner between her legs.
"Wackeldy - Wiggeldy - Smuggully - Ditch. I am the worlds greatest witch. I am Lily Evans. Shut-up Petunia, your just a muggle. Watch me Petunia, I can levitate" she annouces proudly.
With this she stands on the bed and then turns the vaccuum cleaner upside- down and sets it to reverse. A huge gush of dusty wind forces her black tablecloth upwards.
"I'm flying! I'm flying!!"
After a few minutes of standing there with air blowing up her gown she gets bored and turns it off.
With that she snickers and crouches over to her dresser, where she mimes that shes taking out a large sheet.
She wiggles her empty hands in front of her face, and shakes off the witches hat.
"They'll never catch me in my invisibilty clock," she whispers in an evil voice.
With that she throws off her black tablecloth and I am shocked to realise she is not wearing anything underneath it.
She throws the 'invisible cloth' over herself and runs under the bed with a smile on her face.
Okay this is getting a little bit weird.
I turn and go back down the ladder but as I'm getting off, the ladder moves and falls from the window. I can hear rustling from Petunias room as she picks up her black cloak and sticks her head out the window, to see us jumping the fence of her backyard.
"Noooooooooooo!!!" I can hear her scream.
"Take me with you!!! For I am professor Petunia, queen of the maggle world!! Wait I know how to fly!"
We turn to see her falling out of her window only held by her high-heeled shoe she was wearing.
We continued to run, not stopping until we reached the train station. This might be a good time to tell you guys, there isn't really a platform 9 and 3/4's. Its just a wizard joke.
So for all you idiots running into a brick wall on Kingston station, I reckon you should stop now. Even Harry and Ron were stupid enough to run into the wall when the spell wasn't cast.
So follow me to the normal station.
I am relieved when we get back to Hogwarts until I passed the quidditch field and spot Oliver Wood climbing halfway up the quidditch goals screaming.
"Billy!!! Get down from there! I told you your head wont fit through that hoop!! Duck Billy...its a bludger!!" Oliver yells, as one of the younger member starts throwing rocks at him.
"I know Billy...I'll get the Hufflepuff girl!"
As I walk away, I notice Professor Sprout and Professor McGonagall poking Oliver with long sticks.
In the Hogwarts castle, no-body seems to be out. I suppose there all just in class...sleeping or stoned, so I start having a leisurely conversation with a portrait, who apparently has been having trouble with hemoroids.
Thats when for some strange reason I get my next idea for a proper interview.
Ronald Weasley...Transfestite Extrodinare.
^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*
A/N: For pictures relating to this story visit
www . angelfire . com/ space/ mybackgrounds/ zpotter . html
(Take out the spaces, exept the word 'space')
Thanks to all the nice reviewers who took a fricken second of their lives and make me continue the story...trust me guys the best is yet to come.