[ttg1] There may not be a next part for a few more weeks (like spring break ^_^) I'm sorry this section took so long.
Disclaimer: Minekura owns all that is EC/WA and Kubotoki.
Warning – swearing
Note – Just in case for those who don't know, the Japanese school year starts in April and ends in March. The time for APC is early June of Kubota and Tokitoh's sophomore year.
Stay Here With
Across Platform C – part 5
Kubota walked down the hall and finally came to the last room on the left. He opened the door without knocking.
Peering inside, he spotted Ainoura typing away at his laptop by the window. Outside of him, the EC's room was empty. Kubota lightly rapped on the side of the door and Ainoura looked up from the screen.
"Ah, Kubota, what's up?" he asked.
"Mm, nothing much. Have you seen Suzuki?" Kubota leaned his arm on the door.
"Suzuki?" Ainoura scratched his head. "I think he's got drawing now. Not sure though. Murota always knows these things, but he's doing rounds."
"Drawing…" Kubota tapped his chin, thinking. "Third floor, right?"
Ainoura nodded. "Why? What's going on?"
"Mm. Nothing. I'll zee you later then." With a wave, Kubota started to close the door.
"Hey, Kubota, how's the new kid doing?" Ainoura called out, stopping him.
Kubota looked up and then after a second, shrugged. "Fine, probably."
Ainoura nodded again. "Well, if you see him tell him we all thought what he did was kinda cool."
Halfway closing the door, Kubota stopped and looked up. "…Sorry. What was that again?'
Ainoura gave him a puzzled look. "I said it was kinda cool, what the new kid did. Hey…you okay?"
Kubota didn't hear him. Leaning against the doorway now, he was suddenly lost in thought. Kinda cool…huh? Funny…he had just heard that….He scratched his head. What was it…just a little while ago…oh right, back in the infirmary, but there it was the other way around. Then it had been…
"You guys really stop fights and all?"
"When we see them, yes. That's our job- to enforce the rules that the student council has for the school."
"That's…kinda cool."
The ice pack had covered up half the other boy's face when he had said it, but even so, it couldn't hide his expression fully. Sitting down by the bed, Kubota had read something in his eyes. Surprise? A little impressed? Or maybe-
"HELLOOOO, Kubota!"
He looked up at to see Ainoura waving at him. "Man, did you just space out or what? You okay? You've been funny all day."
Kubota blinked. "…Yeah. I'm fine…What do you mean by funny?"
Ainoura's shrugged. "You know, funny. Strange. Weird. Like today in chemistry."
"What about it?"
"I mean, I'm glad we helped and all, but you're the last person I'd expect to go out the window to stop a fight. No offense, Kubota, but that's just not you."
"What do you mean "it's not me"?"
"I mean, you're in the EC right. I mean, we'll are a part of it but…" Ainoura looked a little uncomfortable trying to answer Kubota's question. The taller boy's face kept its usual expressionless appearance, but behind his glasses, his eyes held an intensity that Ainoura found a little unnerving. "You just…never really seemed into it before. Like you just…didn't really care. That's why it was strange, today, I mean….like, why now? I mean...you know?" As he talked, he started to shrink back into his seat. Kubota just kept looking at him.
"…just didn't care before?"
"I mean, no offense, it's just-"
Kubota held up his hand, stopping him. "No, it's okay. You're right. There's definitely something…funny about today." He shrugged and started to slide the door shut. "I'll see you later."
As he closed the door, he couldn't help but overhear Ainoura let out a loud sigh and mutter, "Wow, I should just keep my mouth shut…"
Kubota stood in the hallway for a moment. He puffed out his cheeks and let out a long, slow breath.
Was he acting funny? He rubbed his neck thinking as he started to walk towards the stairs. Him? What was so funny about him and today?
He was late to school, but that wasn't anything different. Yeah, the train station thing, but still. Not strange at all. Well, alright, granted, the train station thing was *different*, but still. Classes weren't different. Lunch wasn't different.
Okay, lunch was different. But still, everything else was the same-
Well, alright, leaving class for the fight was a little…and then the health clinic...
And then right now…
What Ainoura had said back in the EC came back to him then.
Like you just…didn't really care.
Alright, granted, he wasn't *really* surprised about what Ainoura had said. It didn't bother him though. That's how he always was. Always cool Kubota- nothing ever gets to him- no one ever gets to him.
Admittedly, there was something that scratched at the back of his mind, like a pick chipping away at his brain. He couldn't help but scratch his head just thinking about it. And then what Ainoura had said next...
That's why it was strange, today, I mean…like, why now?
No matter how much he scratched, he couldn't answer that question.
Funny, more than anything their conversation reminded him of something he hadn't thought about in a long time. It had been back when he had started the EC, and when he met another boy whose sole goal outside of reaching the level of student council was to challenge him.
His mind started to flood over with memories and he shook his head, trying to clear it.
Something was definitely funny about today….
"So why are you here?"
It had been their first meeting after the semester had started, and Kubota's first time with all the other junior high EC members. Someone had gone over to the beer vending machine by the 7-11 and brought back some cans to share. Classes were over for the day, and they were all sitting out the rest of the afternoon in the EC office with an impromptu "welcome" party. Kubota took a sip from his can and looked over to the student who had questioned him. Matsumoto something. Kubota rarely remembered names and everybody was new to him there.
"Because the principal said that if I was going to break fingers, I should do it under the school's "authority". That or get kicked out. So here I am." Kubota held out the can to the other student and he gingerly took it. "What about you? Are you a finger-breaker too?"
Matsumoto-something shook his head and then took a careful sip. "I thought this would be a good way to understand the student council better. Their rules and such."
"If that's it, then why not just read that book that we all got when we came in here? It explained all the rules pretty clearly I thought." Kubota fished around in his pockets until he finally found his pack of Seven Stars.
"You read that book?" Matsumoto looked over at him. "For some reason that surprises me."
"I'm full of surprises." Kubota shrugged and lit a cigarette up. "Besides, I'll read anything once."
"Did you read the part about no smoking on campus too?"
Kubota took a slow drag and then breathed out, letting the smoke slip out through his lips. "It did say that, didn't it? Same page with, now what was it… no drinking, I believe." He held up the pack towards Matsumoto. "You want one?" The other student just shook his head. Kubota shrugged again and placed the pack in front of him. "So, you're here for what again? Because you wanted to get into the student council, was it?"
Matsumoto's brow furrowed. "That's not what I said."
Kubota only smiled back. "But that's what you meant, right?"
The other boy frowned. "Do you always go around assuming about people?"
Kubota leaned back into his seat. "Just saying as I see it, that's all."
Matsumoto paused and then placed the beer on the desk between them. "Want to hear what I'm assuming about you right now?"
Kubota brought down his cigarette and looked at him. "This is getting fun," he thought to himself. Aloud he said, "Say what you like. Free country, right?
With his elbows on the desk and fingers clasped together, Matsumoto's mouth was hidden behind his hands. "I see a kid who thinks he's in control, but he really isn't. If he was, he wouldn't be here, because it wouldn't matter if he got kicked out for breaking fingers or whatever else he does. But he doesn't have control and it does matter, so now he's here, breaking fingers under someone else's "authority". That's how I see it from here, but maybe I'm assuming too much on too little."
Kubota just looked back at him for a moment, and then slowly reached over and tapped his cigarette over an already used cup, the ashes mixing into the small amount of beer left in it. His gaze then turned back to Matsumoto. "But who's really in control here? Those who give us the rules, or us who enforces the rules? It's a relationship of mutuality, isn't it? They need us, and we can do what we want. Freedom to break rules or fingers as long as they can at least feel-" and he spoke the next words slowly, as if savoring them, "that their image of civility is preserved. You disagree?"
Matsumoto looked at him for a moment and then lifted the can of beer to his mouth, tipping his head back until it was finished. He then turned and in one smooth motion, tossed the can into the bag of empties over on the far table. It swished through the plastic and clanged against the other cans.
"If it's freedom that you want, then why are you here? Freedom wouldn't be following any rules but your own." He turned back to Kubota who was watching him from his seat. "Like I said before, I see a kid working under someone else. And you were right. I'm here because I want to join the student council, and the EC is known to be a good way of getting in. Because I don't want to be working under someone else my whole life. I'd rather be the one on top."
"Something tells me that you're not the top-kind of guy." Kubota said as he slowly stood up. They faced each other then, eye to eye, although with Kubota's height, Matsumoto had to look up.
"Believe what you like. Free country as you said." Matsumoto said between his teeth.
"I know what I see." Kubota smiled back.
Matsumoto took a step towards him, but was stopped by a hand on his shoulder. He turned to see an upperclassman in the EC smiling at both of them. His cheeks were already a bright red, and he swayed a little as he laughed.
"Damn, you guys are hitting it off good!" Their sempai took both their arms and brought them closer together. "It's a party and all, and we probably should wait until later to do all the admin crap, but hey, if you guys are friends already, then we can start to settle on schedules." Their sempai then turned his head and called out to another student who was already writing down into a pad of paper. "Hey, sign up Matsumoto and…" He turned back to Kubota. "Sorry. Too many beers. Your name again?"
"Kubota Makoto," he replied simply.
"Right. And Kubota here. Sign them up for hall duty 4th period. They look like they'll do well together." Their sempai smiled at them and gave them both a heavy slap on the back. He leaned forward a little too much, and both Matsumoto and Kubota had to hold his shoulders to support him. "Ah…sorry…too many beers. You guys will be alright though." He gave Kubota a crooked smile. "I'll teach you the EC shake." He held out his hand and Kubota took it. His sempai squeezed it three times and broke off suddenly. "That's it! Now you do it!"
"Ah, Suzuki, not that stupid handshake again!" another classmate yelled from behind them.
"Shaddup! It's cool 'cause it's secret!" Their sempai yelled back and then turned to them. "Now you do it to him." He pointed to Matsumoto. They looked at each other for a moment without saying anything, and then Kubota smiled and held out his hand. After a beat, Matsumoto took it.
"That's cool. You guys'll be great partners!" Suzuki turned and swayed back to the other side of the room where a few unopened cans were still lined up. "Damn, I love this club!"
"Man, can we cut him off already?" Someone cried out as the other EC members went to go separate Suzuki from the drinks. No one saw that Matsumoto and Kubota were still standing in mid-hand shake.
"Looks like we'll be seeing a lot of each other." Matsumoto smiled, but his eyes were narrowed as he looked back at Kubota.
Kubota only returned the gaze. "That's what it looks like…partner." Seconds passed and they finally pulled their hands back. Kubota slipped his hand then into his pocket and noted that Matsumoto did the same. Now neither could see the other slowly try to move their fingers, working them back into circulation.
Kubota couldn't help but smile thinking back to that day as he neared the art room. Matsumoto's grip was always a hard one. It would probably be that way until he finally reached that top point he sought so much. Kubota smirked. Matsumoto used to get so mad at him when he told the other boy he wasn't the sort who "rode on top". Kubota knew he was right though. He knew his former partner too well. Out of the two of them, he knew on that day Matsumoto's fingers hurt more even though Kubota had held back from crushing them completely.
He slid open the door to the drawing studio and looked around. Students were set up all over with easels, sketch pads and paints, all facing a bowl of fruit and a water vase on a desk in the middle of the class. He stepped through the doorway and started to walk around.
"Nice use of color." He pointed to one student who was doing all the fruits in different shades of blue. "The lines of light on the apple are really clear."
"Ah, thanks." The student turned to him and smiled. "Oh, hey, Kubota. Why are you here?"
"Looking for Suzuki. This is his class, right?" Kubota turned to look around the room.
"Ah, Suzuki…he was here in the beginning…" The student glanced around. "Hey, is Suzuki gone?"
Another head then popped up from behind an easel in the back. "Ah, that lame-o left for the bathroom like ten minutes ago and hasn't come back."
"He took the figure model book with him, so he'll probably be awhile," added another student sitting in a stool by the door.
"Again?" The boy painting the blue fruit started stabbing at his paints. "He did that last time and didn't even wipe it off. His ass is grass when he gets back."
"Don't worry. I'll take care of it." Kubota just patted his shoulder and smiled down at him.
"Thanks," the boy turned back to his painting. "And when you see him, make sure he brings that book back clean."
"Hai hai." Kubota gave them a final wave and started towards the door.
"Man, did anyone else see that one new kid today?" a student drawing by the window asked out to the class.
Halfway in closing the door, Kubota stopped and looked up.
"You mean that kid fighting outside?" A student in the back asked. "How could you not? I bet he's in deep shit now though."
"Yeah, his ass is probably already out of here." The boy painting by the door jumped in. "Too bad though.' He clicked his tongue. "It was a cute ass. I wouldn't mind going after some- AHH!" He suddenly jumped back, falling out of his stool as the can of water to clean his brushes spilled all over his lap. "What the-"
"Oh, clumsy me." Kubota looked down at him with an apologetic smile. "Here, let me help you up." Without waiting for a response, he reached down and took the boy's arm, lifting him to his feet. The boy looked back at him wide-eyed. "I'm so sorry. Now you'll have this," he waved towards the large wet spot on the boy's crotch, "for the REST of the day. Is there anything I can do?"
"uh-uh…no, I'm fine." The boy was looking at his arm which Kubota still held. "It's-it's okay. I can clean up in the back." He shakily nodded to a sink on the other end of the class.
"Ah, well that's good." Kubota smiled and finally let go. He turned and gave a last wave to the now silent class. "Thanks for all your help," he winked and left.
As he closed the door, he couldn't help but overhear one of the students hissing to the boy who still stood by the door staring at his wet pants. "Yo, I don't know what you did to get Kubota mad at you, but you better watch your own ass for now on and not some other kid's."
Kubota started down the hall towards the boy's bathroom. He scratched his head absently.
He wasn't *mad*. Why would he be mad? There was nothing to be mad about…
And it was an accident, sort of. He had been aiming for the kid's sketch pad, but the boy had leaned back when he was talking about Tokitoh's-
Alright, granted, maybe he felt *something* then, but he wasn't *angry*. Kubota's steps quickened. Why would he care what other people thought about the new kid? Always cool Kubota- nothing ever gets to him. Isn't that what everyone says? He nodded to himself as if affirming his own thoughts.
Always cool Kubota- no one ever gets to him.
"So what if he has a cute ass…" he muttered as he reached the bathroom. Kubota suddenly stopped. The next second he found his head leaning against the door. "What am I talking about?" he asked softly to himself.
Always cool Kubota- nothing ever gets to him, always on his own. That's always been the way with him. No matter what anyone said. Not even Matsumoto could make him believe differently. He shook his head, his bangs swaying before his eyes. Like another wave, memories that seemed so far away suddenly washed back up.
There was definitely something funny about today…
"So why are you here?"
Kubota turned from his bowl of noodles. School had been out for hours, and he was sitting at the ramen stand near the gate. Matsumoto took the stool next to his. "Don't you ever go home, Makoto?"
"Occasionally, yes. Have to do laundry some time, you know?" Kubota dipped his head and went back to slurping the noodles up.
"Oh, I didn't know they had washers in the circle of hell that you're from." Matsumoto motioned to the old man behind the counter. "A can of tea, please."
"Oh, we're fully stocked. You wouldn't know it was hell except for the screaming souls all around you."
"Your uncle makes that much noise?" Matsumoto took the can of tea that the old man handed him, popped the tab, and took a sip.
"Only when I drink all his beer." Kubota smiled and taking Matsumoto's can from him, took a long drink.
"You could get your own, you know?" Matsumoto scowled as he took the can back. It was half gone now.
"Ah, but this is more fun." Kubota smiled. "You can take some of my soup if you want."
"I'll pass." Matsumoto turned on his stool so his back was now leaning against the counter. "When do you go back? Don't you and your uncle eat dinner together?"
"Sometimes." Kubota shrugged. "It's easier for both of us to be separate though. He doesn't feel obligated to cook, and I don't feel obligated to eat his cooking.
"Funny. I can't see you being obligated to anyone."
"It's not one of my hobbies, true." Kubota looked over to see Matsumoto staring out at the street and the cars and people passing. His expression was of patient boredom, his most usual look, especially when they were sitting in the EC room or walking the halls. Although they had been "partnered" for almost two years, and now into their first year at the high school, their conversations were still limited to mostly short and insulting, but for them it was something Kubota would almost call "comfortable". They knew what to expect from each other, and no matter how sharp their speech was, they both could still expect the other to be there during a fight. Matsumoto didn't have the arm for a good punch, but he spotted better than most, and together they had earned enough of a reputation that they could stop most quarrels by just being seen.
Matsumoto interrupted his thoughts then. "Do you get along, with your uncle I mean?"
"Well enough." Kubota shrugged. "We kind of just stay out of each other's way mostly. He works and I do what do. It's easy." He paused for a second as he took a sip from his bowl. "It doesn't matter really, or it won't soon."
"Why?"
"Because I'm moving out." With his head down, Kubota couldn't see Matsumoto's face right then. His eyes flicked up to look behind the counter where he saw that the small TV set up in the back reflected the image of his partner who was now turned to fully face him.
"What?"
Kubota didn't look up to his question. "I'm going to have my own place."
"How?" Matsumoto's voice cracked a little. "That and…why?"
Kubota wiped his mouth with his napkin and pushed his bowl away. 'It's just something being taken care of. And it's something I've been thinking about for awhile. Me staying at Kasai-san's just temporarily delayed it."
"Oh…" Matsumoto dropped his elbows on the counter and sat there silent for a few moments. "…Isn't that weird though?"
"What is?"
"You living on your own? I mean, c'mon, you're a freshman. How's this going to work?"
Kubota just shrugged again. 'There's not much to question really. It'll work because that's the way it is."
"You make it sound so simple."
"That's because it is." Kubota reached over and took Matsumoto's can. Shaking it, he heard a swish of liquid still inside. He threw back his head and finished it.
For once, Matsumoto didn't say anything. He only took the can back and started to tap absently at the sides. "… Won't you be…I mean, on your own?"
"What about it?" Kubota began fishing through his pockets until he pulled out some coins.
"You'll be all alone. Just you. That's it."
Kubota waved over to the old man and then dropped the coins into his extended hand. He nodded towards Matsumoto. "His tea too." The man just smiled and nodded, taking the money. He looked over as he stepped off the stool. "Like I said, what about it? Aren't we all alone anyway? Now it's just alone in a different space. Doesn't sound like a big deal to me."
Matsumoto shook his head. "That's such a you-thing to say…"
"Well, I'd hate to disappoint you." They began to stroll down the street, away from the school.
They walked quietly for a block. Kubota started to head towards the station, and Matsumoto followed suit. They both took the train everyday. Kubota's legs were longer than the other boy's, but their pace matched. Maybe he slowed down without thinking, or Matsumoto sped up his steps. If he did so, he didn't make a show of it.
The early fall air was cool on Kubota's skin, and had a smoky scent of it's own that mixed in with his cigarette's. He kind of liked the smell of all of it. It gave him a picture of autumn standing around somewhere, smoking along with him. He smiled at the image.
Matsumoto coughed and then spoke up. "Thanks…for today, Makoto."
Kubota looked over at him. "Thanks for what?" He turned his head to look back towards the ramen stand. "For the tea? I drank half of it."
Matsumoto shook his head, but didn't say anything at first. "…That fight today. You helped me out."
"Ah." Kubota chewed on his cigarette while they walked. He was talking about the pile-up in the cafeteria. Technically they had not been on duty then. Normally he was never in the lunchroom at all since he had started in the beginning of the semester to go sit out on the roof during that period. It was raining that afternoon though so when Matsumoto had asked him about lunch, he just shrugged and followed the other boy to the cafeteria.
They were both in line when an argument over the last curry bread went awry, and punches started being thrown. Suddenly the entire line fell into it. Trays of soup and rice went flying through the air. Kubota felt something wet slide down his back, but he was too busy peeling a sophomore off his leg to care. He turned to see that Matsumoto, who had been right next to him a moment earlier, was gone. He scanned what was once the line but now had become a tangle of kicking legs and waving arms. A cafeteria worker was trying to break in between the two boys who were tearing apart the curry bread. The plastic wrapping ripped in their hands and the bread went into the air. The kicking legs and waving arms stopped for a moment and all eyes went up and followed the bread as it sailed across the line.
Watching the bread's descent, Kubota then spotted Matsumoto, who was standing near the end of the line, and looked like he was trying to stop anyone else from entering into the fray. The bread hit him squarely on the chest and his hands went up to catch it from falling to the floor. He looked up to see all eyes on him then. Matsumoto took a step back, still holding the bread, and the broken line suddenly surged forward after him. A second later, and he was lost in a pile of falling bodies and grabbing hands.
Kubota walked over and started to pick through the pile, pulling and tossing students out as he moved through it. Finally he plunged his arm in, and felt around. He grimaced as his hand raked across bodies. He was glad he couldn't see who or what he was touching at that moment. He just kept reaching further down until his hand fell upon a buttoned shirt. It was wet and warm beneath his fingers. "I hope that's just curry," he muttered to himself, and grabbing the shirt, pulled his arm out of the pile. A moment later, Matsumoto's head popped out, gasping for air.
"If you wanted bread that badly, we could have stopped at the store." Kubota smiled down at him.
"Shut up and keep pulling." Matsumoto hissed. "Some jerk's hand is still on my ass."
"Hai hai."
With a final tug, Matsumoto tumbled out from the pile and onto the floor. He stood up shakily and looked down at his clothes. A large stain was left from where the curry bread had been smashed to his chest. "Damn it."
Kubota flicked a bit of ground beef that was stuck to the other's boy front. "Well, I guess for lunch you can just lick your shirt."
"Ha. Very funny." Matsumoto stormed away. Kubota looked around. The "bread riot" was already running out of steam, and both teachers and students were now starting to pick through the mess. He shrugged and ambled after the other boy. Matsumoto had headed for the gym and to his locker. He wore his P.E. shirt for the rest of the day.
Kubota chuckled, thinking back to their afternoon. That was definitely one of the most interesting lunches they've had. If that would happen more often, maybe he'd have to start spending his time there than on the roof. Kubota turned to see Matsumoto scowling at him. He shrugged in response. "What? It was funny, you have to admit. All that for bread?"
"It was not at all funny, Makoto." Matsumoto glared back at him. "And honestly, I'm getting sick of all of it."
"What, bread? In general or just the curry kind?" Kubota turned back to the street in front of them. They were about a block from the station. "I'm rather fond of the melon variety myself."
Matsumoto rolled his eyes. "Talking to you is like a lesson in patience that never ends. Can you not be serious for five seconds?"
"I'm completely serious."
"Then tell me this." Matsumoto stopped, and Kubota turned to look back at him. "You're not sick of it all?"
"Have you not had melon bread? What's to get sick of? It's so good and fluffy in the center."
His partner just hit his head with his hand and then walked past him. "Why do I even bother?"
"Because you can't help yourself." Kubota caught up with him in a few steps. Matsumoto didn't turn to look at him.
"I'm sick of it." The other boy started again. "All the crap that we go through. It's not worth it. Every day is the same thing. Some jerk starts it, and we finish it. Then another jerk starts it, and we finish it. But there's never a final finish. It's the same jerks every day, and no end to it."
"There wouldn't be an EC if the jerks stopped starting things. Where would we all be then?" Kubota asked. He knew where Matsumoto was going with this. The other boy had been starting and restarting this conversation for months now, once they had entered the high school, once his goal was in sight.
"I know where I want to be." Matsumoto said quietly.
"Then why are you still here then?" Kubota asked. "What's stopping you, hm?" He lightly hit Matsumoto's backside with his foot. The other boy turned to glare at him and he only smiled back. This was their usual game, but it didn't seem that both parties wanted to play that night. Matsumoto turned and continued to walk.
"Why are you still here, Makoto?" he asked.
Kubota thought over the question for a moment. "I guess because I want to be. That's it."
"There's nothing else you want? You want to always be doing the work as opposed to being at the head of it all?"
"What and take your spot, future council member?
"There's more than one there." Matsumoto looked at him, but Kubota's expression didn't change.
"Not for me." He said simply. They had reached the station and began to walk down the stairs. After going through the ticket carousal, Kubota lifted a hand to wave Matsumoto off since their train rides home were on different platforms, but then he felt a tug on his arm. He turned and looked down to see Matsumoto's hand gripping his sleeve. Kubota gave him a questioning look.
Matsumoto closed his eyes for a moment and sighed. After a beat he opened them and looked up. "Do want to stay over tonight?"
"Hm?" Kubota's eyebrows rose up..
"I mean…" Matsumoto licked his lips, thinking. "We have that social studies project due on Friday, right?. We might as well start it now."
"I thought we decided to just split it up?"
His partner looked away for a moment. "Maybe it'll be easier if we just did it together. That way it'll look like one smooth piece instead of two separate papers that we just stuck together."
Kubota didn't respond at first. "…Your family doesn't even like me. I don't think they'll appreciate you bringing me home."
"That doesn't matter." Matsumoto shook his head. "They won't say no. Besides, it's for school, right?"
"Hm." Kubota nodded, thinking.
"And besides…" Matsumoto looked up at him, his hand still on Kubota's arm. "This way we don't have to do it alone…right?"
"Ah…" Kubota gazed down at him. "That would be true, wouldn't it?" He then looked up at the ceiling of the station and moved his cigarette from side to side with his tongue. "…but, I don't think it'll work, sorry." He gently took Matsumoto's hand off his arm.
"…why not?" the other boy's eyes searched his face.
"Because it's like I said earlier. We're all on our own anyways. It's the way it is." He started to turn.
Matsumoto snorted. "Always cool Kubota. Nothing ever gets to you, right? But do you know what?" he called out after him. "That's just something you keep telling yourself. But you're wrong, Makoto. It doesn't have to be that way."
Kubota looked back at him without saying anything. Matsumoto continued. "You can move out, get your own place, live with no one, be with no one, but you should face the truth and stop telling yourself that it has to be that way. It doesn't. You're doing it to yourself. Everything you do, you do to yourself."
Kubota reached out then without saying anything and touched Matsumoto's face.
Always cool Kubota....
His finger went slowly down from the boy's temple to his jaw.
"You know I'm right." Matsumoto said looking back at him, his eyes defiant.
Nothing ever gets to him…
"And that's why you hate me so much." Kubota answered back, and smiling, gave Matsumoto's cheek a light pat. "I'll see you tomorrow." He turned and with a backward wave, started towards his platform.
Walking away, he heard the all-too-familiar hiss of "asshole" from behind him. He smiled bitterly as he tossed the last of his cigarette into the ash can. "Give my regards to your family," he called back. If Matsumoto responded, he didn't hear, nor did he turn his back as he walked down the stairs.
Always cool Kubota, no one ever gets to him.
That had always been Matsumoto's joke, but after that night, he never could hide the bitterness in his voice when he said it. To Kubota, it just felt like another part of the game they played together, but even he recognized that the "comfortableness" they had achieved between them was slowly ebbing away. He also recognized that there was something he could do about it, but watching Matsumoto stare out at the council seats, he saw little point.
Weren't they all on their own anyways? Isn't that what he always said?
But for some reason now, his own past statements seemed hard to swallow even for him.
And now he recognized again that there was something he could do about it.
"You were always right about one thing, Matsumoto," Kubota finally lifted his head from the bathroom door. "Everything I do, I do to myself." He pushed the door open and stepped inside.
It was empty, or seemed so. Outside of that one dripping faucet, the bathroom was quiet. He paused for a few seconds and just stood there listening. Looking at the row of urinals against one wall and then the stalls across from them, another memory hit him, although this one from earlier that day. It had been back up on the roof. The other boy had been speaking with a mouthful of rice…
"'Cause at my old school the only place where it was quiet was either the roof or the old bathroom in the basement…"
All of a sudden, Kubota heard a tell-tale sign of his sempai's presence, the sound of a page turning. Kubota smiled and started to walk across the room until he came to the last stall. He knocked lightly.
He heard a suck in of breath. "Hey, this one's occupied!" The voice coming from the stall was strained and very familiar.
"Didn't anyone ever tell you that only losers hang out in bathrooms?" He said back to the door.
"Hey! What the- who is that?"
"Suzuki." He knocked again. "It's me. Kubota."
"Kubota?" He heard a rustling of noises from the other side of the door. "Damn? What the hell?"
"Sorry. Normally I wouldn't want to intrude on your "private time", but I need you for something right now."
"Can't it wait?" Suzuki's voice cracked a little.
Kubota's hand ran through his hair. "No, it really can't. It took long enough to find you. Now, c'mon out."
There was a moment of quiet from the other side. Finally Suzuki spoke up. "Sorry, Kubota. You're gonna have to wait. It's the way it is."
"Is that so?" Kubota tapped lightly on the door.
"Yep. Sorry. Can't help you. Come back in five minutes."
"Sorry, huh?" Kubota shook his head. "Do you know what's really sorry, Sempai?"
Suzuki waited a beat. "…what?"
"That you never remember that the lock on this stall doesn't work." With that said, Kubota's hand went to the top of the door and gave a tug. It flew open. Suzuki stared back at him wide-eyed while sitting on the toilet. The figure model book was plastered to his lap.
"K-K-Kubota!" he yelped out.
Kubota just leaned on the now open door. "Now I can wait that five minutes, if you want." He looked at his watch. "Well, four minutes and…35 seconds."
Suzuki was noticeably distressed. "What the fuck are you-"
"25 24 23…" Kubota tapped on the door. "C'mon, c'mon finish up, or do you need a bigger audience. I think I hear someone outside. Do you want me to call them in?" He cupped his hand to his mouth and turned towards the door to the hall. "Come one, come all! Visiting Araiso with his special one-man show, it's the magically amazing masturbator! Bring the family for a jerking good time-" Kubota ducked a roll of toilet paper that came rocketing out of the stall towards him.
"Shut up!" Suzuki stood up from the toilet and still holding the book across his lap, grabbed the door and slammed it shut. "I get you! I get you!" He yelled. "Just, damn, Kubota. What's going on?"
"I need you to come to the main office with me."
"What the hell for?"
"It's the new kid. He got taken down there because of the fight outside."
"Yeah. So?"
"So." Kubota opened the door again. "We need to go down there."
"For the love of- shut the damn door!" Suzuki yelled. "And why do I need to go down there?"
"Because you're the head of the EC, and strangely enough, that gives you some
semblance of authority." He stood and
shook his head at Suzuki on the toilet.
"I can't believe you're still keeping it up while I'm right here. I had no idea you found me so exciting?"
Suzuki drew his arms over the book and his lap. "No, you scare the shit out of me."
"Oh, c'mon, Sempai," Kubota smirked. "Both me and the rest of your class know that's not why you're here."
Suzuki turned a shade of red that matched well with his colored hair. "You-" he pointed at Kubota. "Leave, right now. Close that door and leave. I will be down there with you in FIVE minutes."
"Three." Kubota countered.
"Four and a fucking half!" Suzuki's face was one of desperation. "Just- argh, I'm dying here. You gotta let me finish!"
"Alrighty," Kubota smiled and shut the stall. He started to walk towards the door to the hall. "I'll see you down there."
"Hey, Kubota!" Suzuki yelled out just as Kubota's hand was on the door. "Why are we doing this?"
Kubota stopped and just stood there quiet for a moment.
"…Kubota?"
"…Just meet me down there," he answered.
As he pushed the door open he turned his head to call back. "And after this is all done, you better wash that book off."
He turned and started to walk down the hall towards the stairs. "Why are we doing this…why am I doing this?" He murmured to himself, scratching his head.
"Because you think he's got a cute as-," the pick chipping at his brain started again. Kubota's hand hit his forehead, trying to silence it. "You can shut up." He answered aloud.
"Oh, for the love of-" he couldn't help but repeat Suzuki's words. This was getting out of hand. He took off his glasses and rubbed the bridge of his nose. The hallway became a fuzz of grey tiles and walls as he walked.
Always cool Kubota- who talks to himself…
Why now?
Always cool Kubota- who just saw way more of his sempai than he EVER wants to see again.
Why was he doing this?
Because it's there. Isn't that enough?
That had been back in the health clinic, but that's what the other boy had said…
For reasons he couldn't explain, the past kept coming back at him as if it was arguing with him, trying to show him something he couldn't see himself. Kubota put his glasses back on and the hall became suddenly clear, but his mind was still a fuzz of the past- of both of that afternoon and of an afternoon months earlier, back in December.
Something was definitely funny about today…
"So why are you here?"
Kubota turned from the cigarette machine. The venders weren't allowed to put it on the high school grounds, so instead they set it up as close to the gate as possible. School was out for the day, and most of the students were rushing home or somewhere else warm. It was a week before the first day of winter, but the air already stung their cheeks. He smiled down at Matsumoto who had come up from behind him. "Why would I be here?" He motioned to the machine.
"No, why are you still here?" Matsumoto hugged his chest. "It's freezing, and you've been standing here forever. Just buy them already. Or are you finally switching brands?"
"Oh, I'm Seven Stars for life." Kubota turned back to the machine and stared down at his hand. "I thought I had the change for this though, but it looks like I'm ten yen short. Think it'll give it to me if I ask nicely?" He tapped the side of the machine. "Hey, gimme some cigs…I'll pay you back, promise." He cupped his ear as if waiting for a response and then sighed. "I guess it doesn't like me." He turned to go, but Matsumoto held up his hand. In his fingers he had a ten yen coin.
"Oh, but I still owe you for the last time this happened," Kubota joked, accepting the money.
"What? That was like…two years ago, Makoto." Matsumoto rolled his eyes. "But if you're keeping a record, then add it to your tab."
Kubota started to drop the handful of change into the coin slot. "I'm forever in your debt."
Matsumoto snorted. "Yeah, right."
After pushing the button for Seven Stars, a pack dropped down. Kubota bent over and retrieved it from the slot at the bottom of the machine. He turned, and they both started to walk away from the school.
"Hey, can I pay you off in trade?" Kubota waved the pack at him.
Matsumoto just grimaced and shook his head. "You know I hate that stuff. I can barely stand to be around you."
"I'm touched that you make the effort." Kubota stopped for a moment to light a cigarette.
Matsumoto kept walking, but not as fast as usual. "Like you would notice anyway."
"Ouch." Kubota slipped the lighter back into his pocket. "Why so bitter, Council Treasurer? I would think nothing could get you down right now?"
Matsumoto didn't say anything. He only continued to walk.
Kubota looked over at him. "What are you doing out so early anyway? Don't you have to do some kind of super-love-orientation or something? Play kiss the council member? Oh, but wait, that's how you got the position, wasn't it?"
"Shut up. You know that's not true." The other boy shot him a glare that almost looked hurt.
"I know, I know. That was the former treasurer. Poor boy. They do say mono is just sweeping the school. You think people would be more careful by now. But it's good for you though. It's what you wanted, right? To get out of the EC and get in there?"
Matsumoto stopped then. "What do you know about what I want?"
Kubota looked back at him. "I know you didn't want to be with us anymore. You said so yourself."
"That's not what I said!" the other boy blurted out. Matsumoto covered his mouth then and looked away. His cheeks, already red from the cold, deepened another shade. Kubota watched as Matsumoto breathed into his fingers, trying to cover up his surprise.
Kubota raised his eyebrows and walked a few paces back to him. Matsumoto wasn't the one for outbursts. He saw them as unbecoming.
The other boy finally looked back at him, still breathing into his fingers. "You always do this. You always change what I'm saying. What I said was…" His voice was muffled behind his hand. "…I saw a chance and I took it, and they took me."
Kubota reached out and pulled the boy's hand slowly away from his face. He could still feel the warmth from his mouth in his fingers. "Is that really it, Matsumoto?"
Matsumoto didn't look at him then, but nor did he pull his hand away. They stood there on the sidewalk quietly, their fingers laced together. Daylight was already fading on that late autumn afternoon. Kubota just stood there waiting for his answer. Like Matsumoto's earlier rants against the EC, this talk wasn't really unexpected either. His now former partner had been starting and restarting this conversation for months, but never finishing it though, never getting to the part where he would say-
"Makoto…" Matsumoto spoke softly. Kubota had to lower his head to hear him. "Why don't you join with me?"
"What, the council? And do what? Spit-shine Ikeda's shoes? There's no position there for me."
"We could set one up." Matsumoto looked up at him. "Some kind of executive officer. That's not unheard of. You've been in the EC for years. They'll take you."
"Why? Because they want me to? Or just you?"
"…does it matter?" The other boy asked. Kubota felt the grip on his hand tighten a little.
"No, it doesn't," he replied. "Because I'd tell both the same thing. That I don't care anything about the council."
"…Why don't you say what you really think, Makoto?" Matsumoto voice cracked a little. It was something that always happened when he got agitated. "That truthfully, you don't really care about ANYTHING. I don't even think you care about the EC, or anyone in it."
"That's funny coming from you." Kubota felt a smile creep up on his face. "Aren't you the one leaving?"
"Yeah, I'm the one leaving," the other boy breathed out, "But you're the one who was never really here in the first place. You always say that it's me, that I think I'm above it all, but you're wrong. It's you. It's always been you."
Kubota didn't say anything. Matsumoto's grip on his hand was tightening even more. His fingers started to hurt, but he didn't pull away. The other boy continued, not waiting for him to speak out in defense. Maybe because he knew Kubota didn't have any. Maybe because he knew that-
"It's true. You know I'm right." Matsumoto looked at him hard. "You've never been really a part of the EC, or a part of anything. You stand up on the roof and just look down at everybody else, and don't give a damn about anything. So don't start with that "You left" bullshit. There was nothing to leave." With that said, Matsumoto finally pulled his hand out from Kubota's and started to walk away.
Kubota just stood there on the sidewalk. He didn't bother putting his hand into his pocket. The cold was already numbing the pain that the other boy's hand had left.
Matsumoto had gotten ten paces away before turning around. "And one more thing," he yelled back. Kubota looked up.
"Someday, Makoto," Matsumoto spoke slowly. "Someday there's going to be something that stops you. It's going to hit you and there's going to be nothing that you can do, but care about it. And then you'll be down here with the rest of us, feeling how shitty it is to care about something. And when that day comes, I'm just going sit there and laugh."
"Well, I'd hate to disappoint you." Kubota replied softly.
"Too late." With that said, Matsumoto turned on his heel and walked off. Kubota only watched his back as it moved further and further away. The fading light gave everything a bluish tint, including his breath that seemed to leave him in one long strand.
In his mind, he had said goodbye to other boy's retreating figure, but all that came out of his mouth was smoke.
Kubota finally reached the main office on the first floor. Once again he found his head leaning against the door.
Always cool Kubota- nothing ever gets to him.
Why was he doing this?
He remembered then what he had asked Tokitoh earlier.
"Does it make you feel good? Is it the danger-quotient? Or do you just like to hit people?""
Why was he here?
And then another voice entered his mind, one that was a little defiant, a little angry, and a little…
"I just do it because I do it. I don't think about it. I don't give a shit about what people think about me..."
…a little scared?
"…I do it because…"
Always cool Kubota- no one ever gets to him.
He remembered that back in the infirmary the other boy's nose then was still stained with blood.
"…because I just can't not do it." Kubota murmured to himself. He raised his head up from the door.
Always cool Kubota- who breaks fingers, and lives alone, and doesn't care about anything.
Always cool Kubota- who leaves class through the window, and pours water on people, and opens bathrooms stalls without warning.
He shook his head. There was definitely something funny about today…
But through the fuzz of memories that had clouded his mind, there was one thing now that he could see clearly.
That for him at that moment, there was no other way than what he was about to do.
He started to slide the door open into the office. Stepping inside, he couldn't help but smile when another question struck him.
"Are you laughing now…Matsumoto?"
-----
^^ tbc-
[ttg1]