Chapter Five
Standing in front of the mirror, Joanna tucked her black t-shirt into the standard olive green pants, and checked her appearance one last time. Her silver streaked hair was back into its orderly, folded-under French braid, clothes were cleaned and pressed, and she felt much better after a shower and a decent night's sleep. A frown clouded her face, though, as she waited for Sam, thinking of her own team, who she'd left back in the alternate universe, wondering if they had escaped the Goa'uld.
A knock on the door brought her to the present, and Joanna opened the door to a waiting Teal'c. Expecting someone else entirely, Joanna stepped back from the intimidating Jaffa and reached for a gun before remembering this wasn't her Teal'c and she didn't have her guns.
A cocked eyebrow was his only response.
"Sorry. Force of habit." She lifted her chin defiantly, looking him in the eye.
"Understandable, O'Neill. Are you sufficiently prepared to partake of the morning repast?"
"Yeah." Shutting the door behind her, Joanna walked with Teal'c down the corridor in silence. Finally she broke it.
"I thought Carter was supposed to come get me."
"I convinced Major Carter otherwise." With a short bow, Teal'c held the door to the commissary open for her.
Shooting him a puzzled glance, Joanna stopped in front of the buffet.
"Is there nothing here that tempts you, O'Neill?" Teal'c asked, his deep voice in her ear, as she made no move to choose something to eat.
Her spine stiffened at his accidental, unfortunate choice of words. "I haven't seen this much food in a long time." Quickly she chose a bowl of fruit and some scrambled eggs, snagging the ketchup as Teal'c led her to where Sam and Daniel were sitting.
"That's one thing she and Jack don't have in common," Daniel commented as they watched Joanna squirt a healthy dollop of ketchup on her eggs.
She stared down at the yellow and red mess on her plate, just realizing what she had done. "It's the only way I could force down the powdered junk they called eggs back home. Old habits." Carefully, Joanna scraped off most of the ketchup.
"Hey, kids." Jack sauntered over to their table, frowning at Joanna's plate, then wisely deciding not to say anything. "Hammond wants those reports by 0900. Gimme yours when you're done and I'll hand them in with mine."
"Already turned in, sir," Sam answered brightly. "I finished mine last night."
"Ahh, mine too." Daniel blinked, confused, as Jack glared at him. "There really wasn't much in the way of ancient --"
"Yeah, whatever. What about you?" Jack turned to Teal'c.
"Indeed, O'Neill, I also have completed my statement of the difficulties in defending a mine on P3K5186 if the preliminary tests of the planet's soil show there to be adequate deposits of naquadah."
"I was out sick," Joanna chimed in.
"Great," Jack managed to get out, thrown for the moment. "I need to talk to these two," he jerked his head toward Sam and Daniel, "about that thing we discussed before," he gave Teal'c a meaningful look. "Why don't you take Joanna around and…show her the firing range or something."
"Very well, O'Neill."
Sensing their boss was in one of his moods, Sam and Daniel rushed through their breakfast as Jack hovered, obviously waiting for them.
"Don't let him push you around," Joanna called out as they got up from the table. She smiled sweetly at Jack's departing glare.
"It's going to be so easy to yank his chain," chuckled Joanna as she watched the trio leave.
"Conversely, it will also be a simple matter for O'Neill to 'yank your chain,'" Teal'c commented back.
"Oh yeah," she readily agreed. "No doubt about that. But I'll probably be able to realize when he's doing it about a second before he'd figure out I'm doing it to him." Joanna gave Teal'c a conspiratorial smile.
"Without a doubt," he rumbled back.
~~~~~
"This is the SGC firing range." Teal'c held the door, letting Joanna enter first. After two hours visiting the SG complex, replete with her own personal door-opening tour guide Jaffa, Joanna had almost gotten used to him. Especially since he wasn't trying to kill her like her Teal'c nearly always did.
They stood in front of the weapons master and his armory, looking over the various firearms the SGC used. "Would you like to handle the P90, O'Neill?"
The weapons master looked startled at the name, but at her okay and Teal'c's nod, he brought down the gun, waiting until Teal'c had signed for it before handing it to Joanna. Turning it over in her hands, she followed Teal'c down the stark gray corridor to a firing line.
"It looks smaller than ours. Seventy-five round horizontal clip? Thousand armor-piercing rounds per minute?" She glanced up at him.
"Fifty rounds, nine hundred a minute."
Nodding, Joanna placed her hands on the stock, widening her stance for balance.
"Perhaps if you…" Reaching around her, Teal'c placed his hands over her own, shifting them minutely.
"I don't think— " Breaking off at the warm feel of him against her back, Joanna fought the near overwhelming urge to strike out against the Jaffa. Flashes of the last time she was in a position like this, with her Teal'c holding a staff weapon against her throat, came back to her and only with difficulty did she keep herself under control.
"Are you alright, O'Neill?" The deep timbre of his voice rolled through her.
"I'm fine," she retorted, angry with herself for wanting him back as soon as he moved away. Firing the gun in short, controlled bursts, Joanna cut out a neat circle in the target's chest with only a few strays, putting a couple of bullets through its head for good measure.
"Impressive." Teal'c took her through the rest of the armory's collection; Joanna also broke down and cleaned the ones she was familiar with.
"Are you acquainted with a staff weapon and its uses?" They stood in front of the weapons master, who now looked upon her with much more respect.
"Of course. Sometimes we ran out of ammo; had to use whatever was there." Taking the one handed her, she tested the balance. "Lighter, if you have it." Approving of the next one, Joanna walked down to the last, larger firing line, swinging the staff weapon in lazy arcs, getting used to the feel. Priming it, she took sight and let loose a crackling volley of energy blasts down the range.
"Your aim is commendable, O'Neill," Teal'c commented, as charred remains of the target floated down.
"Kill or be killed." She faced him, handing the staff weapon back. "Do you guys use throwing knifes?"
"O'Neill is quite proficient in their usage. Are you yourself?"
Joanna nodded, suddenly aware of how near they were standing, how alone they were. "They're good for silent work, and close range, of course." Hesitating, she stepped toward him. "They can slip under a Jaffa's armor here…" she placed her hand against his upper ribcage, "…and here…" her hand slid down to rest against his lower back. The heat from his warmer body sank into her cooler palm. "And of course the neck was always exposed…"
She looked at him, a challenge flashing in her eyes; an answering predatory gleam appeared in his. Her stomach flipped at the frank admiration they held.
"So…what's next on the 'find out how much she knows' agenda?" Joanna spoke with more bravado than she felt. "Military strategy? Hand to hand combat?"
"Both," replied Teal'c, unperturbed that she had figured out what he was doing. "O'Neill wanted to ascertain your competency levels in various disciplines. We shall speak of military tactics on the way to the gymnasium."
Stepping back, Joanna dropped her hand, letting the tenuous connection she felt with him fade. "Guess I can't blame him either," she muttered. "Well, lead on, MacDuff."
With an incline of his head, Teal'c motioned for her to go first. With a sigh, she did.
~~~~~
Joanna paced the mat in the gym, rolling her shoulders and loosening her arms as she waited for Teal'c to come out of the men's locker room. She was in the same olive green t-shirt and shorts Janet had seen her in, although the daisy socks had been left behind. Bouncing on the balls of her bare feet, Joanna wondered what was taking the Jaffa so long, then grinned as she figured it probably was to set her on edge, make her jumpy.
A few deep breaths had settled her somewhat, but that was shot to hell when Teal'c came striding out, clad only in a high-waisted, very tight pair of deep red lycra shorts. The thought that they had been painted on crossed Joanna's mind before she ruthlessly squashed it. She glared at Teal'c, bristling at the knowing smirk on his face. They faced each other a moment, waiting.
Relaxing her stance, Joanna sighed. "Any day now."
The words had barely gotten out of her mouth before Teal'c leapt forward and Joanna neatly stepped aside, having expected him to do just that. With a sweep of her leg and a well-placed arm, Teal'c landed on his back, the solid thud echoing against the concrete walls.
"Damn, dropped you like third period French." Holding out her hand, Joanna grinned and helped him up. "Shall we do it over?" Squaring off again, the pair circled each other.
Three falls later, Joanna once more pulled Teal'c to his feet. "Fer cryin' out loud, you're wasting my time." Exasperation was clear in her voice. "Either you're going easy on me 'cause I'm a woman, or you're trying to soften me up, or…who the hell knows what. Whatever it is, quit it!"
Teal'c smiled, the gleam back in his eye. "Very well, O'Neill." With that he came at her again, but this time instead of deflecting the blow Joanna met him head on. The next twelve minutes were spent blocking and striking, thrusting and parrying in an interesting mix of martial arts and Greco-Roman wrestling. However, in the end, the tables had turned and Teal'c pinned Joanna face down on the mat.
"Do you yield, O'Neill?" One of his hands held one of hers above her head, the other at the small of her back. His lower body covered hers, keeping her prone with little effort.
"Bite me," Joanna muttered half into the mat. A brief scuffle followed, but the only thing that changed was she now faced up.
A pleased smile crossed Teal'c's features. "Do you yield, O'Neill?"
"Fuck!" A last ditch attempt to get free only made Joanna realize she wasn't going anywhere. Her pique turned to something else though, as she discovered her struggles had gotten a different kind of rise out of Teal'c than her taunts had. She stopped resisting, her body relaxing under his as she finally noticed the provocative position they were in, the hard planes of his body pressing against her yielding curves.
They stared at each other, the moment stretching out between them. The predatory look in Teal'c's eyes was back, with more than a suggestion of desire. Joanna felt her heart pound and her stomach tie in knots as the old 'fight or flight' instinct began to kick in. She had to forcibly remind herself that this was not the Teal'c from her universe, that this one was not going to kill her.
"Do you yield, O'Neill?" Was it her imagination or was there more than a touch of innuendo in his words? Closing her eyes and turning away from his gaze, Joanna gave the only answer she could.
"Yes, dammit."
In one swift movement Teal'c stood, offering his hand to her. "And you can wipe that grin off your face," she groused as he gently aided her to her feet.
"I believe there is the human custom of 'forfeit' to consider," he placidly responded.
"What?!" Joanna looked at him like he was insane, trying very hard to keep her eyes away from those red shorts.
"I emerged the victor of our match; now it is my right to demand forfeiture."
"You're kidding me." Hands on her hips, Joanna tried to stare Teal'c down.
"Indeed I am not, O'Neill."
"Fine. Whaddaya want?"
Moving closer, Teal'c stood within inches of her. "The pleasure of your company during tomorrow's evening meal."
"I'm supposed to eat with you guys anyw-- ohhhh …" she trailed off as she realized what he was demanding. Her teeth came out to worry her lower lip. "Really?"
"Assuredly," he answered, his voice deep and persuasive, his eyes on her mouth.
"Hey, kids."
Joanna jumped at the sound of Jack's voice. He took in the blush on her cheeks and the smug look on Teal'c's face. "What's up?"
"Colonel O'Neill has just this moment consented to have dinner with me tomorrow night." The Jaffa not only looked smug, he sounded it.
"Oh really?" The cynicism was evident in Jack's voice.
"Indeed," Teal'c replied at the same time Joanna answered "No."
"You must," the Jaffa countered. "To not do so would be dishonorable."
"Fine," she repeated. "Dinner."
"In my quarters."
Joanna looked like she needed to hit something. "In your quarters," she managed to get out before throwing a quick glance at Jack and almost storming off to the women's locker room.
"Well, won't that be cozy," Jack dropped into the silence.
"In truth I have every hope it will be, O'Neill." Teal'c looked extremely pleased with himself, Jack was quick to notice with a roll of his eyes. Finally catching sight of Teal'c's state of arousal, however, Jack's expression swiftly changed to flinty disapproval.
"You don't…like her, do you?"
"No." Teal'c's answer was short and final.
Jack frowned, working through the grammar of his question, finally realizing that Teal'c did, in fact, like Joanna. "That is so wrong, on so many levels!" He moved to stand in front of Teal'c, frustration and incredulity tying his tongue. "She's me, for God's sake! It'd be like kissing me!"
"I do not believe so. And I look forward to disputing your theory."
"Aw, fer cryin' out loud…" Shifting uncomfortably, Jack met Teal'c's amused gaze. "Get changed and meet me in my office. I need your input before I turn in that report."
"I am able to give it to you now. Colonel O'Neill is extremely proficient in a wide variety of weapons, her knowledge of strategy and tactics is extensive, and although her smaller stature and strength were a slight drawback in hand-to-hand combat, she makes up for it with innovative techniques. Indeed, she is just like yourself in those regards. Therefore I deem it would be of great benefit to have Colonel O'Neill join the SG program."
"You sure that's not the other junior talking?"
Teal'c merely raised an eyebrow. "I will be spending the next few hours in kelnorim. I do not wish to be disturbed." Turning, he left Jack standing alone.
"You go on with your bad self-- then." With a sigh, Jack went to finish his report.
~~~~~