Author's note: This is a Rurouni Kenshin/Yuyu Hokashu/Dragon Ball Z
crossover story. All standard disclaimers apply. We do not own the rights
to any of these characters (more's the pity) and we apologize ahead of time
for any distress we might cause by making our beloved anime friends behave
in unusual ways. We also declare ourselves to be unaffiliated with any TV
reality shows that take place on islands. We further assert that, although
there are doubtless many examples of fan fiction on the internet that
feature any or all of these characters in a similar reality show setting,
this is an original story and is not based on any other fan fiction. That
said, we hope you'll enjoy this unworthy story, that we do!
Survive-oro!
By Kazoku Okami
Chapter 4: When You're Strange.
The morning of the fourth day on the island was rather gray and uninspiring. Rain clouds hovered overhead, sullen and swollen, threatening to dump a good-sized deluge on all below.
"This isn't a monsoon region, is it?" Goten quipped. Stretching his legs out on the grass where he sat, he eyed the sky suspiciously.
Trunks, seated on a flat-topped rock nearby, didn't bother looking up from the battle raging across the screen of his hand-held game system. "Gee, I dunno, Goten-chan," he mumbled. "Why don't you go ask your mommy?"
"Huh?" Goten's head whipped around toward his friend. "What?"
Trunks sniffed. "Maybe Mommy can save widdle Goten from the mean old rain - just like she saved you from that tiger!"
Goten jumped up, dumping his own game system onto the ground. "Take that back!" he yelled.
Trunks merely raised an eyebrow. "Says who? Widdle Goten-chan? Oof!" Trunks went flying off the rock and landed on the ground, Goten on top of him. The two rolled around, trading punches and grabbing handfuls of each other's hair, tugging exuberantly.
"Look at those two!" Bulma elbowed Vegeta in the ribs.
"Ow!" the Saiyan prince whined. "Stoppit."
Bulma spun around to gape at her husband in surprise. In all the years they had been married, she had never heard Vegeta whine about anything. (For that matter, he had never reacted with any emotion except rage, even to blows that would have felled an average-sized ox!) Yet there he was, clutching his ribs; his eyes, under the ridiculous flamingo- embossed sun visor, were accusing and his bottom lip poked out in a pout.
"Well, of all the -" Bulma broke off, confused. "What's going on here, Vegeta?"
"Nothing," Vegeta mumbled, petulantly. "Just leave me alone!" He spun around and stalked off toward the capsule house.
Bulma stared after her him, mouth open, head spinning.
"Maybe I should have made him wear that visor sooner," she muttered. "I think the sun has fried his brain!"
* * *
Strange occurrences were becoming rather noticeable at the Rurouni- Yuyu camp, as well. Hiei had approached Kurama that morning, frowning over yet another display of hero worship evident on the fox demon's person.
"What is that?" Hiei demanded.
"Uh, what's what?" Kurama widened his eyes innocently.
"That!" Hiei pointed. "On your face, baka!" He narrowed his eyes. "It's a scar, isn't it?"
"Oh, that!" Kurama blushed. "I - uh, cut myself shaving."
Hiei sneered. "Twice?"
Kurama blinked.
"It's a cross-shaped scar, you simpleton!" Hiei hissed.
"Um." Kurama stared at Hiei as if trying to think of a reply; finding none, he resorted to the only thing that came to mind at the time. His eyes snapped shut as his mouth turned upward in a Rurouni grin.
Hiei slapped himself on the forehead and turned away.
"Must - not - kill - Kurama!" he ground out, between his clenched teeth. Taking a deep breath and counting to ten, he got himself somewhat under control again before turning back toward his friend. He was just in time to see a flash of red as Kurama ducked into the trees at the edge of camp.
"I should go after him," Hiei thought grimly. "Maybe even slap some sense into that head of his! Something is very, very wrong here. Kurama doesn't usually - "
Hiei broke off, his eye caught by a thing of such remarkable beauty that the fire demon was suddenly struck speechless. Where had that come from - that beguiling magenta jewel of magnificence! That harbinger of heavenly delight!
Entranced, Hiei felt his feet stumbling forward toward the beautiful thing. His eyes were glowing and his lips wore an enraptured smile. His trembling hand reached out to touch beauty, then stopped. Another one! - there was another just like the first, every bit as glorious and tempting! The sight filled his eyes with tears of joy.
Across the way, Yusuke watched as Hiei knelt and carefully picked two ordinary-looking, rather sun-scorched red flowers that were growing at the edge of the trees. The fire demon's demeanor was one of reverence and almost feverish ecstasy.
"What's going on around here?" Yusuke asked himself, frowning. "Is everybody going crazy?"
* * *
Aoshi had awakened that morning feeling - peculiar, somehow. Ever since he had released the inner demons that had driven him to abandon his Oniwabanshu and vow to take his vengeance against Kenshin, he had been seeking, embracing an inner light. As it had grown within him, he had become conscious of a deep connection with nature, cherishing the bonds between earth and sky, fire and water, man and forest creatures. He longed to become one with all things.
But this morning, there was a new longing stirring in his heart - and it was a strong and driving urge. Aoshi wanted to hunt something!
He sat up on his futon and took a deep sniff of the morning air. There was a wild, musk-like odor emanating from the nearby forest and his ice-blue eyes could make out a stirring deep in the foliage beyond. The connection he had so recently forged with nature had heightened his senses and now served to make him the most dangerous of predators - the hunter who is one with his prey.
He rose in one fluid movement, eyes still piercing the woods at the edge of the camp, and started forward. His bare toe struck something and he looked down. Misao was still sleeping on the futon she had placed at the foot of his bed, her faithful heart causing her to take this servant's position to her beloved Aoshi. The girl stirred, sighing deeply, and snuggled farther down into her covers.
"Hmmm," Aoshi thought. "Misao-chan has grown up - and she's looking niicce!" He inhaled deeply. She smelled good, too - like the woods and flowers, with an undertone of something wild - and a bit disturbing!"
His senses distracted from the forest and completely attuned to this new hunt, he slowly went down into a crouch, Kenshin, on his way back from fetching water for the morning soup, saw Aoshi crawling toward the "weasel girl", a wolfish leer turning the tall, taciturn man's angular features into a mask that was a bit frightening. Without thinking, Kenshin set down the bucket, his hand going to the sword at his side; something was amiss here and, if need be, he would have to protect the sleeping Misao's honor. He needn't have worried. When Aoshi's face was mere inches from Misao's, the girl gave a wild whoop and threw herself onto her beloved "okashira", knocking him backward onto the ground. "Thought you'd sneak up on me, ne?" she yelled. "Wanted to see if I still had my ninja skills? Well, I do!" "I see." Aoshi raised himself up onto one elbow. The twisted smile was still present on his face as he regarded the girl standing over him. "Very good, Misao." "You bet it is! My training was - " Misao broke off suddenly as her brain registered the expression in the man's eyes. "L-Lord Aoshi?" "Yes, kawaii akachan?" Aoshi said, his voice deep and smoky, like a panther's low growl.. Both Misao and Kenshin gawked at that one. Misao recovered first. "Kawaii akachan?!" she screeched. "Precious baby?!" Her eyes blazed. "You - You - hentai!" Her fist connected with the okashira's offending, though beautifully-shaped, mouth. Then she wheeled around and stalked across the campsite, her whole demeanor radiating anger and hurt. Aoshi touched his bleeding lip with one finger, then licked the blood away, relishing the somewhat salty, metallic taste. He got to his feet and stretched sensuously, looking after Misao's retreating figure. "Later, then," he murmured. A small chuckle escaped his lips as he turned his attention back to the forest and the four-legged prey that surely waited there. Across the way, Kenshin stood like a man gob-smacked, one eye twitching. Aoshi - had - laughed!!
* * *
On the far side of the island, Master Roshi had his binoculars trained on a silken-walled pavilion set in a small clearing. He had followed the three intruders last night and seen them make their way to this spot; the cheerful young man had set up camp, while the bandaged one had sat around being waited on by the object of Roshi's unadulterated lust. There was no sight of the "mummy" today, but the young man was cooking something over the campfire. The smell made Roshi's mouth water, but not as much as the sight of the curvaceous young woman who was, at this moment, enjoying a swim in a nearby lagoon.
"Ooh, baby!" the old man murmured. "Who's your daddy?"
"Soujiro!" a voice called from inside the pavilion. The young man laid down his cooking chopsticks and hurried to answer his master.
Master Roshi moved closer, straining to hear.
"Yes, Lord Shishio," Soujiro's cheerful voice was saying. "The tiny one will be arriving soon. He will be pleased at how well your plans are succeeding, Sir."
"Good," came a deep, somewhat raspy voice. "Let me know when he has entered the camp."
"Yes sir." Soujiuro said. "Breakfast is almost ready; shall I bring your tray?"
"I suppose so." The bandaged man gave a sigh. "I hunger for food so rarely these days. My taste runs more to conquest."
"Then you will surely have your fill soon, Lord Shishio!" The young man chuckled. He emerged from the tent and set about serving up the food. "Miss Yumi," he called. "Your tray is waiting."
The young woman came up from the water, droplets glistening on her smooth skin and the dark cascade of her hair. Squeezing the wetness out of her tresses and pinning it up quickly, she stepped behind a small curtain that had been hung up between two trees. She slipped out of her wet under- kimono and toweled, then slipped into a dry cotton kimono. The young man, Soujiro, handed her a tray and she disappeared into the pavilion.
"Don't go, pretty girlie," Roshi moaned. But it was a good while before Yumi came out again. When she did, she was wearing the clothes from the night before.
"Rats!" Roshi muttered. "I wonder if she'll go swimming again later? I'd better keep watching; wouldn't want to miss -"
His lecherous musings were interrupted by a commotion at the edge of the clearing. It sounded like someone was arriving.
"Must be the 'small one' they were talking about," Master Roshi thought. "I'll bet it's that Koenma character; these must be friends of his."
Curious, he craned his head to see the far side of the camp where Soujorou and Yumi were welcoming their guest, a tiny, bug-eyed little -
"Eep!" Roshi squeaked. "It can't be! He's dead!" He polished his binocular lenses on his shirt-tail, then looked again. "But it is - it is Babidi!"
* * *
Deep within the shadowy, sylvan splendor of the island, a solitary siki deer raised her head, dark eyes alert, and sniffed the air. She had been feeding peacefully on the tender buds of a young wildflower when her keen hearing had caught the slight rustle of nearby undergrowth. A moment passed, then two, then a lone Latham's snipe burst upward from the brush and took to the sky, launching itself into the bizarre zigzag flight that has earned its kind the nickname of "lightning bird." The doe relaxed and finished off her meal, then turned. Though heavy with faun, she was the picture of grace as she wandered away into the forest.
Nothing disturbed the serenity of the glade for a few moments; then the foliage parted and Aoshi Shinomori stepped out, his grace rivaling that of the doe, but more reminiscent of a panther stalking its pray. He had stripped down to his loincloth and rubbed his skin with dirt and wild grass to hide his human smell. Crouching down by the remains of the plant the doe had nibbled, he sniffed the animal's scent and smiled, white teeth gleaming.
"No fears, little mother," he purred. "I'm not after you. I require more of a challenge in my hunt!" He rose in one fluid motion. "Still, you might lead me to a more robust specimen of your kind!"
Like a cat on the trail of its prey, Aoshi set off in the direction the doe had gone.
* * *
Goku was reeling! He had been busily licking out the breakfast rice pot when Vegita had stepped out of Bulma's capsule house and coughed to get his attention. Goku had looked up slowly, sheepish at having been caught eating again. What he had seen made him drop the pot and stand gawking.
The proud Vegita, last Prince of the Saiyan race, had shed his armor and was dressed in khaki shorts, Birkenstock sandals and a T-shirt with "Earth is our mother - treat her with love" written above a (gasp) happy, yellow smiley face. He had added a pair of bifocals to the overall effect and he peered through them at Goku, his eyes disturbingly huge in the lenses' distortion.
"Um, Goku-san," he murmured, "would you like to sign my petition?" He thrust a piece of paper toward his gob-smacked friend. "I've been thinking about this competition and I've reached the conclusion that our activities might have a negative impact on the indigenous plants and wildlife on this island. I'm getting signatures asking Koenma to call off the rest of the games and, instead, sponsor a week-long clean-up and tree-planting session."
Goku just stared blankly at his comrade.
"If I back off slowly," Goku's brain was telling him, "maybe he won't attack me." He tried to blink, but his eyes had dried out from staring and the best he could do was roll them up into the top of his head. "If I don't see him, he's not really here," he thought. But, when he mustered the courage to look again, the monstrosity was still standing there - petition outstretched, pink felt-tip pen at the ready!
* * *
For over an hour, Master Roshi had been witnessing the impossible. Babidi was alive and well and being entertained in Mummy Man's pavilion! Roshi had crept closer, hoping to hear what was being said, but he could only catch a word here or there, as both Babidi and the bandaged man were speaking in low voices. He heard the phrases, "in their water supply" and "already affecting their behavior," but little else. But now Soujiro was speaking, his pleasant young voice as clear as a bell: "How soon will they all be under the influence of the drug, Sir?"
"Soon, my sweet-faced lad - very soon! And then they will be helpless to resist us!" Babidi had chuckled before lowering his voice again.
For once, all thoughts of Yumi and her bare shoulders left the eavesdropping Turtle Hermit's head as he set his mouth in a grim line and turned away from the camp.
"I have to tell the others!" he muttered.
"Tell them what, old man?"
A huge hand clapped its iron grip on Master Roshi's shoulder and spun him roughly around. Roshi craned his neck to stare up into the face of his captor. The man was tall and extremely muscular, with styled, black hair and dark, cat-eye sunglasses covering his eyes. He had what looked like a bunraku puppet on his back.
"N-nice shades," Roshi said nervously.
The man stared down at him, a cruel smirk twisting his lips.
"What should we do with him, Brother?" the man inquired.
Master Roshi blinked as the "puppet" moved and a pale face appeared from behind the tangled mop of hair that he had taken for a doll's wig. That thing was alive! And it was leering at him!
The tall man cocked his head toward the evil "puppet" thing as it spoke one word: "Torture!". "Yes, my brother, I agree!" The tall man lifted Roshi by the neck of his shirt and turned back toward the pavilion. "We'll take him to the Bandaged One. It will be a sweet diversion while we're waiting." He chuckled. "Maybe we can even get a nice, friendly wager going on how long the old man can last!"
* * *
(Author: And now a word from our sponsor.)
The camera shows the interior of the Akabeko. Seated around a table littered with the remains of a feast are Kenshin, Sanosuke, Kaoru, Megume and Yahiko, all talking and laughing together.
Announcer's voice: Renting a private dining room at your favorite restaurant - ¥2,000 (2,000 yen).
Sanosuke reaches his chopsticks to take the last chofu cake from a platter. Yahiko reaches to grab it away and they tussle.
Announcer: Dinner for five, including dessert - ¥8,500 (8,500 yen). The diners all raise sake cups in a toast, then down the contents. There are several empty sake bottles overturned on the table.
Announcer: Enough sake to float a battleship - ¥4,350 (4350 yen).
Tae appears with the check. Yahiko: (teasingly) Hey, Sano, isn't it your turn to pay? To the obvious amazement of all present, Sanosuke grabs the check. He takes a look, then reaches into a pouch at his belt and pulls out a small, vinyl card. He hands this, along with the check, to Tae.
Sanosuke: Here you are, my dear. And please add on a nice, fat gratuity for your trouble. Tae: (In shock) Er, arigato, Sano-san. I'll be right back. (She zombie- walks to the front of the restaurant.) Sanosuke: (looking around at his open-mouthed companions) Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to visit the little roosters' room, heh heh. (He saunters off) Kenshin: (still a bit swirly-eyed with shock) Oro? Suddenly there is a loud scream of rage from the front of the Akabeko and, seconds later, Tae charges into the room, face red with anger. Tae: Where is he? Where's that no-good, double-dealing - Kenshin: Or-oro? Kaoru: Who - Sano? Tae: Who else?! This card is a fake! Now, where is he? Megume: He - he went to the restroom - oh, no! They all jump up and run to the men's room, which, of course, is empty. They notice the restaurant's back door is open. Looking out, they see Sanosuke duck down the back alley. Tae: Aaarrrrgggh!!! Announcer: Getting out of your turn to pay the check - PRICELESS! Camera shows Sanosuke being chased down the street by the whole gang, waving their fists and yelling. Announcer: The best things in life are free. For everything else, there's Moocher's Card!
* * *
Misao was moping. Ever since her encounter with Aoshi and his subsequent disappearance into the forest, the usually vivacious girl had been sitting on a campstool, staring listlessly at the ground. "Misao-chan, are you feeling unwell?" Kenshin asked, concern in his violet eyes. The "weasel girl" shook her head, but didn't speak. A deep sigh escaped her lips and Kenshin caught a glimpse of a tear sliding down her cheek. Kenshin offered her a freshly laundered hankie and Misao blew her nose loudly, then extended the damp cloth back toward him. "Uh, you keep it," Kenshin said. "Is - is there anything I can do for you?" He smiled gently. "Maybe ring Aoshi's neck?" Not even this brought a smile to Misao's gloomy face. "No, nothing. No one can do anything," she said flatly, then turned her back to him. After a moment, Kenshin walked away. He hated to see the girl looking so depressed. It just wasn't like Misao to let anything get her down for long. The thought of what he had witnessed earlier made his mouth go dry. Something was definitely wrong around here. He licked his lips. "Thirsty," he thought. "Maybe we're all a little dehydrated. It's awfully hot on this island." Kenshin headed over to the water cask and used the gourd dipper to fill his empty canteen. Taking a long swallow of the clear, cold water, he sighed deeply. "Maybe I should talk to some of the others," he pondered. "Saitou usually knows what's going on around him. He'll be condescending and rude, but at least I'll get some answers." He found the Wolf of Mibu chopping firewood and humming under his breath. When Kenshin approached, Saitou looked up from his work. "Oh, hi, Himura," he said, his tone friendly. Saitou straightened up and leaned on his ax. "What's shakin'?" "Oro?" Kenshin stared, puzzled. Saitou grabbed up his canteen from a nearby stump and drank deeply. "Man, it's hot out here, ne?" He poured the rest over his head and bare shoulders. "Are you drinking enough water, kid? Wouldn't want you to get dehydrated." When Kenshin didn't reply, but only stood staring at him with a bug-eyed expression, Saitou leaned over and peered into the rurouni's face. "What's wrong, kid?" He sounded genuinely concerned. Kenshin shook his head as if to shake off the shock he was feeling at Saitou's behavior. He blinked rapidly a few times to clear his vision. Nothing had changed. The Wolf of Mibu was smiling, warmly, at him. "Some - something's w-wrong," he stammered. "People - around here -" He broke off. "Acting a bit strange?" Saitou finished for him. "I've noticed that, too." Relieved, Kenshin nodded. Saitou laughed and threw his arm around the Rurouni's shoulders. "Hey! Don't worry, Kenny-chan!" he chuckled. "That's just because they're losing their inhibitions. Happens all the time on islands!" "B-but - but -" Kenshin stammered. "C'mon, kid! Lighten up! Live and let live, I say!" He dug his knuckles into Kenshin's scalp in an affectionate "noogie." "Now, get out of here, Worry Wart! I've got work to do!" Releasing Kenshin, Saitou turned back to his firewood. Dazed, Kenshin wandered over to the laundry tub. He had put some soiled clothing in to soak earlier and they should be ready to wash by now. Doing the laundry always helped him think. He pushed up his sleeves and reached into the sudsy water, then stopped. "Women's work!" He withdrew his hand and shook the suds from it. "Why do I always have to do the laundry and cooking? I'm a man, aren't I?" The latter question brought a smirk to his face. "Oh, yeah! Last time I looked, anyway." He stood up and stretched, puffing his chest out and flexing his biceps. "Ummm, that feels good!" He shrugged off his kimono and, clad in only his hakama, whipped his reversed-blade sword from its scabbard and began to go through the training motions. "Sinew and steel - now, that's what a man's all about!" He ran through the Hiten Mitsurugi moves a couple of times more, then stopped, breathing hard and glistening with sweat. "So thirsty!" he thought. He took a long drink of water, then smiled. "That's better!" He sniffed. "Yeah! I smell like a man now, too - not some sissy-boy!" "Hey, Kenshin!" Sano approached, chewing on a fishbone, as usual. "Dude!" Kenshin high-fived the surprised Sanosuke. "Uh, yeah - whatever," Sano muttered. "I just wondered if you needed any help with the laundry." "Help? You?" Kenshin burst out laughing. "That's not like you, Sano! You feelin' guilty for all that mooching you've done?" Sanosuke looked at him, head tilted to one side as if in thought. "I honestly don't know," he admitted. "It just came to me while I was drinking my tea this morning. I've been a slacker - a parasite! And I'm here to change all that. Now, about that laundry -" Kenshin chuckled. "I appreciate the sentiment, Sano, but - Dude! Laundry is women's work! Leave it for Kaoru!" He stopped, frowning. "Oh, right. She's not here." He thought a minute, then his face lit up. "But Misao is!" "Yeah," Sana said, doubtfully. "Maybe she kind of qualifies as a woman. A little too young for my taste, but probably okay to do the laundry." "Uh huh," Kenshin smirked. "But I'd have to disagree about the 'too young' bit. I think she looks just ripe enough!" He turned his strangely amber-speckled eyes toward the slumped, dejected figure of Misao, still moping on her campstool. "I'll sweet-talk her into doing the laundry," he said, smoothly. "Then, if she's really gooood -" he licked his lips "- maybe I'll reward her! Wonder how she'd like her kisses from a real man!" "You dog!" Sano chuckled admiringly.
* * *
Bulma stood, hands on hips, and surveyed the scene around her. The Tribe DBZ campsite was a madhouse! Not that it was particularly noisy or filled with frenetic action - to the contrary, the atmosphere was a bit more subdued than usual. What made it a madhouse in her eyes was the fact that certain people in camp were behaving contrary to their usual manners! From where she stood, Bulma could see her husband as he made his way toward Goku and Chi Chi; the Saiyan prince was carrying a steaming bowl of vegetable soup, an anxious expression on his face. "Um, Goku," Vegeta said as he reached his friend's side. "I noticed you only ate one small bowl of soup at lunch. I thought you might be hungry, so I heated this up for you." Goku looked at the soup and shook his head. "Ooh, I just couldn't eat another bite," he said, looking a bit green around the gills. "All I seem to want today is water." "Oh." Vegeta looked even more worried. "Maybe I should take your temperature. We do have a camp first aid kit, you know." "Welll.maybe," Goku reluctantly agreed. Cheered up by having a mission, Vegeta turned and bounded over to the locker that contained the first aid kit. He returned in a few minutes, shaking a thermometer and looking a bit sheepish. "Okay," he said, "here's the problem: Koenma got this kit together and - well, nothing in it is suitable for treating adults. It's all toddlers' Tylenol and smiley-face bandaids." He sighed. "Oh, and this is a child's thermometer." Goku frowned. "I don't get it. It's still a thermometer, isn't it? I mean, if it registers a child's temperature, why not an adult's?" "Ur, that's not the problem." Vegeta shuffled his feet anxiously. Goku looked even more confused, but Chi Chi, blushing furiously, leaned to whisper something in his ear. Goku turned completely white. "What?!" he sputtered. "It goes - where?!" Holding both hands up, Goku backed away, then turned tail and ran. "Goku, wait!" Vegeta called out after him, but the frantic-eyed Saiyan never looked back. With a sigh, Vegeta turned to Chi Chi. "I really think you should talk him into giving it a try at least. I think maybe he's sicker than he knows - I mean, Goku with no appetite? It's just wrong." "Well, um, I dunno," Chi Chi murmured, eyes lowered demurely. "I'm sure my husband knows best. I would never dare to second-guess any decision my Goku made." She blushed. "I mean - well, I'm just a woman and not very smart about this sort of thing, you know." Bulma reeled. Chi Chi - being demure, downright self-deprecating!? Oh, this was too much! Added to the extremely odd behavior - and clothing - of her husband and the lack of appetite on Goku's part, there could be no doubt; something was definitely amiss! "Hi, Mom!" Bulma shook her head as if to clear away the confusion, then turned to face her son and his friend, Goten. "Trunks," she said softly, "I'm glad to see you. Have you noticed anything strange about your father lately?" Trunks frowned, looked at Goten who shrugged, and then nodded. "Well, he does seem a bit - odd today," Trunks said slowly. "I hope this isn't causing you too much concern, Mother dear." "Yes, Miss Bulma," Goten chimed in. "We were just saying that you look a little tired. We thought maybe you need more help around the house." "So we just cleaned our room and washed up the dishes," Trunks put in, beaming. "We'd like to start the laundry now, if that's alright with you." Bulma hit the ground, her eyes spinning Rurouni-style. "Who - Who are you - and what have you done with the boys?" she croaked. Trunks smiled lovingly and helped his mother stand. "There now, Mummy," he cooed. "Why don't you come on in out of this heat and have a bit of a lie- down?" "You deserve it, Miss Bulma," Goten agreed. "You do so much for everyone around you. We certainly wouldn't want you to feel unappreciated." Bulma stared, wide-eyed, at first one, then the other of the two strangers before her. Finally, she licked her dry lips and said, in a raspy sort of whisper, "Yes. Yes, that's just what I need - a nice lie-down." She let them lead her into the house as her mind added, "I'm obviously having some sort of heat stroke, accompanied by hallucinations!"
* * *
At a little past 2:00 p.m., Koenma called the two tribes together on the beach. It took until nearly 3:00 for all the stragglers to appear. The toddler and his faithful ogre companion stood waiting outside a capsule house they had set up just before summoning the contestants. Goku arrived, Chi Chi following three steps behind, eyes cast down at the ground. Trunks and Goten had wet-combed their unruly hair and were wearing aprons over their usual outfits. Bulma appeared a bit dazed still, leaning on Vegeta's arm. Aoshi was still free of any clothing except his loincloth and his skin glistened with a layer of perspiration. His dark hair was damp, hanging down over his oddly-feral eyes - eyes that seemed to devour the sight of Misao, who stood nearby still sniffling and dabbing at her teary eyes with Kenshin's handkerchief. As Aoshi peered at the girl from under his long bangs, Kenshin sidled up to Misao and whispered something that made the girl's eyes go wide. Aoshi saw red! "Himura Battousai," he growled, "leave my woman alone!" Kenshin turned to face Aoshi, his lip curled. "What's the matter, pretty boy?" he inquired scornfully. "Afraid the little lady here will find out what she's been missing hanging out with an ice block like you?" He turned back to Misao. "You know what they say, doll - once you've had a Battousai, you'll never settle for an ordinary guy!" Aoshi snarled and lunged at Kenshin, but Saitou stepped between the two, arms extended to hold them apart. "Please, boys," the tall police officer reasoned with them. "Can't we all just get along? Why don't you two just shake hands and make up?" "Yes, please listen to Officer Saitou!" Vegeta stepped forward. "We should all forget our differences and work for the common good here. Our battles should be fought against mankind's blatant disregard for nature. Look at the trees - you don't see them arguing - " "Or the flowers," Hiei murmured dreamily. "Flowers never fight - they just exist in complete beauty." He reached up, gently touching the garland of rather wilted red blossoms that circled his head. "That's a nice wreath on your head, that it is," Kurama told him sweetly. Koenma turned to Jorj. "Can you see me?" he demanded.. Jorj looked confused. "Why - yes, Sir," he replied, slowly. Koenma frowned. "Then I am here," he said, wonder in his voice. "I'm not dreaming." He looked out at the contestants and sighed. "Oh well," he remarked, "at least Urameshi and the Roosterhead are acting normal - well, as normal as either of them can possibly be." Just then, Yusuke turned to Sano, his eyes welling with tears. "I - I'm really worried about today's challenge," the spirit detective moaned. "I just know I'll mess up and let you all down!" "There, there," Sano said, comfortingly. "You'll do fine. And, if anything does go wrong and we lose, I'll take complete responsibility. In fact, I'll volunteer to be the one to leave the island." "That's - that's just so mature and responsible of you, Sano-san," Yusuke gushed. "Pinch me!" Koenma told the ogre. Gingerly, Jorj reached out and obeyed. Koenma let out a yelp. "Alright, alright," he said, stepping out of Jorj's reach. "I guess we should just get on with things." He turned back toward the thirteen remaining players. "Listen up, you freaks! I have an announcement to make." When everyone quieted down, Koenma went on. "There will be no competition today. Instead, I have declared this to be a day of rest, recreation and renewal." Most of the group cheered. Aoshi frowned, disappointed that there would be no chance to exercise his physical prowess, as did Kenshin who felt that he, too, was in need of a little outlet for his pent-up Battousai. "Therefore," Koenma paused for effect, then continued, "I have brought several guests to spend the day with you. Say hello to your families and friends!"
Author's Note: Gomen nasai! I did not mean to run on so with this chapter! I did intend to have the bunch exempted from a challenge this time around so I could expand on the weird character development our gang is undergoing; it just took me a little longer than I thought. Hang in there; the worst is yet to come.
More notes on this chapter: A word about the "capsule houses" that keep springing up in the story: Bulma's family owns Capsule Corp, a business that manufactures various pocket-sized - well, capsules that, when thrown onto the ground, go poof and out pops a full-sized car, motorbike, boat or, as in our case, house. (Boy! I wish those things existed! It would save a lot on hotel bills, rental cars, etc. if you could just take everything with you in capsule form!)
I referred to Aoshi as Misao's "beloved okashira". Misao is a member of the Oniwabanshu (a spy group) and Aoshi is their leader (okashira). Misao temporarily took over in the leadership role when Aoshi, distraught over the death of it of his followers and obsessed with besting Kenshin (whom he wrongly held responsible) abandoned the group. His subsequent battle with Kenshin showed Aoshi that he was dishonoring his dead friends by trying to kill in their name and by turning his back on his remaining followers. Freed from his obsession, Aoshi entered his present state of introspection and search for enlightenment. (Which I have - well, sort of screwed up in my little story here. Sorry, Aoshi, my bad.) Oh.and he's not much given to smiling and I don't know of any instance when he's laughed - which is why Kenshin was so "gob-smacked" (shocked) when it happened in this chapter.
Concerning Babadi (the new dead guy who's shown up here), he's a former DBZ villain - and the latest to benefit from the "magical reviving powers" of the Spirit World (and my poetic license). As for the two extremely creepy guys who capture Master Roshi (the big dude and the "living Bunraku puppet" on his back), devotees of YuYu Hokashu will undoubtedly recognize the Toguro Brothers. (When you visualize the smaller guy, don't see him as a Sherry Lewis type puppet; Bunraku puppets are about four feet tall.) More on them in the next chapter.
Siki deer and the Latham's snipe are found in Japan and I included them because I needed animals in my "prowling Aoshi" sequence; these two are pretty cool! Also in that scene, Aoshi's loincloth was typical underwear for Meiji era Japanese men. They looked like the "thong" things Sumo wrestlers wear today.
Vegita's outfit? Think "Deadhead."
The Hiten Mitsurugi is Kenshin's swordsmanship style, taught to him by his old master, Sejiro Hiko. It involves a sheathed sword, drawn at the last possible second, just as an opponent strikes.
Survive-oro!
By Kazoku Okami
Chapter 4: When You're Strange.
The morning of the fourth day on the island was rather gray and uninspiring. Rain clouds hovered overhead, sullen and swollen, threatening to dump a good-sized deluge on all below.
"This isn't a monsoon region, is it?" Goten quipped. Stretching his legs out on the grass where he sat, he eyed the sky suspiciously.
Trunks, seated on a flat-topped rock nearby, didn't bother looking up from the battle raging across the screen of his hand-held game system. "Gee, I dunno, Goten-chan," he mumbled. "Why don't you go ask your mommy?"
"Huh?" Goten's head whipped around toward his friend. "What?"
Trunks sniffed. "Maybe Mommy can save widdle Goten from the mean old rain - just like she saved you from that tiger!"
Goten jumped up, dumping his own game system onto the ground. "Take that back!" he yelled.
Trunks merely raised an eyebrow. "Says who? Widdle Goten-chan? Oof!" Trunks went flying off the rock and landed on the ground, Goten on top of him. The two rolled around, trading punches and grabbing handfuls of each other's hair, tugging exuberantly.
"Look at those two!" Bulma elbowed Vegeta in the ribs.
"Ow!" the Saiyan prince whined. "Stoppit."
Bulma spun around to gape at her husband in surprise. In all the years they had been married, she had never heard Vegeta whine about anything. (For that matter, he had never reacted with any emotion except rage, even to blows that would have felled an average-sized ox!) Yet there he was, clutching his ribs; his eyes, under the ridiculous flamingo- embossed sun visor, were accusing and his bottom lip poked out in a pout.
"Well, of all the -" Bulma broke off, confused. "What's going on here, Vegeta?"
"Nothing," Vegeta mumbled, petulantly. "Just leave me alone!" He spun around and stalked off toward the capsule house.
Bulma stared after her him, mouth open, head spinning.
"Maybe I should have made him wear that visor sooner," she muttered. "I think the sun has fried his brain!"
* * *
Strange occurrences were becoming rather noticeable at the Rurouni- Yuyu camp, as well. Hiei had approached Kurama that morning, frowning over yet another display of hero worship evident on the fox demon's person.
"What is that?" Hiei demanded.
"Uh, what's what?" Kurama widened his eyes innocently.
"That!" Hiei pointed. "On your face, baka!" He narrowed his eyes. "It's a scar, isn't it?"
"Oh, that!" Kurama blushed. "I - uh, cut myself shaving."
Hiei sneered. "Twice?"
Kurama blinked.
"It's a cross-shaped scar, you simpleton!" Hiei hissed.
"Um." Kurama stared at Hiei as if trying to think of a reply; finding none, he resorted to the only thing that came to mind at the time. His eyes snapped shut as his mouth turned upward in a Rurouni grin.
Hiei slapped himself on the forehead and turned away.
"Must - not - kill - Kurama!" he ground out, between his clenched teeth. Taking a deep breath and counting to ten, he got himself somewhat under control again before turning back toward his friend. He was just in time to see a flash of red as Kurama ducked into the trees at the edge of camp.
"I should go after him," Hiei thought grimly. "Maybe even slap some sense into that head of his! Something is very, very wrong here. Kurama doesn't usually - "
Hiei broke off, his eye caught by a thing of such remarkable beauty that the fire demon was suddenly struck speechless. Where had that come from - that beguiling magenta jewel of magnificence! That harbinger of heavenly delight!
Entranced, Hiei felt his feet stumbling forward toward the beautiful thing. His eyes were glowing and his lips wore an enraptured smile. His trembling hand reached out to touch beauty, then stopped. Another one! - there was another just like the first, every bit as glorious and tempting! The sight filled his eyes with tears of joy.
Across the way, Yusuke watched as Hiei knelt and carefully picked two ordinary-looking, rather sun-scorched red flowers that were growing at the edge of the trees. The fire demon's demeanor was one of reverence and almost feverish ecstasy.
"What's going on around here?" Yusuke asked himself, frowning. "Is everybody going crazy?"
* * *
Aoshi had awakened that morning feeling - peculiar, somehow. Ever since he had released the inner demons that had driven him to abandon his Oniwabanshu and vow to take his vengeance against Kenshin, he had been seeking, embracing an inner light. As it had grown within him, he had become conscious of a deep connection with nature, cherishing the bonds between earth and sky, fire and water, man and forest creatures. He longed to become one with all things.
But this morning, there was a new longing stirring in his heart - and it was a strong and driving urge. Aoshi wanted to hunt something!
He sat up on his futon and took a deep sniff of the morning air. There was a wild, musk-like odor emanating from the nearby forest and his ice-blue eyes could make out a stirring deep in the foliage beyond. The connection he had so recently forged with nature had heightened his senses and now served to make him the most dangerous of predators - the hunter who is one with his prey.
He rose in one fluid movement, eyes still piercing the woods at the edge of the camp, and started forward. His bare toe struck something and he looked down. Misao was still sleeping on the futon she had placed at the foot of his bed, her faithful heart causing her to take this servant's position to her beloved Aoshi. The girl stirred, sighing deeply, and snuggled farther down into her covers.
"Hmmm," Aoshi thought. "Misao-chan has grown up - and she's looking niicce!" He inhaled deeply. She smelled good, too - like the woods and flowers, with an undertone of something wild - and a bit disturbing!"
His senses distracted from the forest and completely attuned to this new hunt, he slowly went down into a crouch, Kenshin, on his way back from fetching water for the morning soup, saw Aoshi crawling toward the "weasel girl", a wolfish leer turning the tall, taciturn man's angular features into a mask that was a bit frightening. Without thinking, Kenshin set down the bucket, his hand going to the sword at his side; something was amiss here and, if need be, he would have to protect the sleeping Misao's honor. He needn't have worried. When Aoshi's face was mere inches from Misao's, the girl gave a wild whoop and threw herself onto her beloved "okashira", knocking him backward onto the ground. "Thought you'd sneak up on me, ne?" she yelled. "Wanted to see if I still had my ninja skills? Well, I do!" "I see." Aoshi raised himself up onto one elbow. The twisted smile was still present on his face as he regarded the girl standing over him. "Very good, Misao." "You bet it is! My training was - " Misao broke off suddenly as her brain registered the expression in the man's eyes. "L-Lord Aoshi?" "Yes, kawaii akachan?" Aoshi said, his voice deep and smoky, like a panther's low growl.. Both Misao and Kenshin gawked at that one. Misao recovered first. "Kawaii akachan?!" she screeched. "Precious baby?!" Her eyes blazed. "You - You - hentai!" Her fist connected with the okashira's offending, though beautifully-shaped, mouth. Then she wheeled around and stalked across the campsite, her whole demeanor radiating anger and hurt. Aoshi touched his bleeding lip with one finger, then licked the blood away, relishing the somewhat salty, metallic taste. He got to his feet and stretched sensuously, looking after Misao's retreating figure. "Later, then," he murmured. A small chuckle escaped his lips as he turned his attention back to the forest and the four-legged prey that surely waited there. Across the way, Kenshin stood like a man gob-smacked, one eye twitching. Aoshi - had - laughed!!
* * *
On the far side of the island, Master Roshi had his binoculars trained on a silken-walled pavilion set in a small clearing. He had followed the three intruders last night and seen them make their way to this spot; the cheerful young man had set up camp, while the bandaged one had sat around being waited on by the object of Roshi's unadulterated lust. There was no sight of the "mummy" today, but the young man was cooking something over the campfire. The smell made Roshi's mouth water, but not as much as the sight of the curvaceous young woman who was, at this moment, enjoying a swim in a nearby lagoon.
"Ooh, baby!" the old man murmured. "Who's your daddy?"
"Soujiro!" a voice called from inside the pavilion. The young man laid down his cooking chopsticks and hurried to answer his master.
Master Roshi moved closer, straining to hear.
"Yes, Lord Shishio," Soujiro's cheerful voice was saying. "The tiny one will be arriving soon. He will be pleased at how well your plans are succeeding, Sir."
"Good," came a deep, somewhat raspy voice. "Let me know when he has entered the camp."
"Yes sir." Soujiuro said. "Breakfast is almost ready; shall I bring your tray?"
"I suppose so." The bandaged man gave a sigh. "I hunger for food so rarely these days. My taste runs more to conquest."
"Then you will surely have your fill soon, Lord Shishio!" The young man chuckled. He emerged from the tent and set about serving up the food. "Miss Yumi," he called. "Your tray is waiting."
The young woman came up from the water, droplets glistening on her smooth skin and the dark cascade of her hair. Squeezing the wetness out of her tresses and pinning it up quickly, she stepped behind a small curtain that had been hung up between two trees. She slipped out of her wet under- kimono and toweled, then slipped into a dry cotton kimono. The young man, Soujiro, handed her a tray and she disappeared into the pavilion.
"Don't go, pretty girlie," Roshi moaned. But it was a good while before Yumi came out again. When she did, she was wearing the clothes from the night before.
"Rats!" Roshi muttered. "I wonder if she'll go swimming again later? I'd better keep watching; wouldn't want to miss -"
His lecherous musings were interrupted by a commotion at the edge of the clearing. It sounded like someone was arriving.
"Must be the 'small one' they were talking about," Master Roshi thought. "I'll bet it's that Koenma character; these must be friends of his."
Curious, he craned his head to see the far side of the camp where Soujorou and Yumi were welcoming their guest, a tiny, bug-eyed little -
"Eep!" Roshi squeaked. "It can't be! He's dead!" He polished his binocular lenses on his shirt-tail, then looked again. "But it is - it is Babidi!"
* * *
Deep within the shadowy, sylvan splendor of the island, a solitary siki deer raised her head, dark eyes alert, and sniffed the air. She had been feeding peacefully on the tender buds of a young wildflower when her keen hearing had caught the slight rustle of nearby undergrowth. A moment passed, then two, then a lone Latham's snipe burst upward from the brush and took to the sky, launching itself into the bizarre zigzag flight that has earned its kind the nickname of "lightning bird." The doe relaxed and finished off her meal, then turned. Though heavy with faun, she was the picture of grace as she wandered away into the forest.
Nothing disturbed the serenity of the glade for a few moments; then the foliage parted and Aoshi Shinomori stepped out, his grace rivaling that of the doe, but more reminiscent of a panther stalking its pray. He had stripped down to his loincloth and rubbed his skin with dirt and wild grass to hide his human smell. Crouching down by the remains of the plant the doe had nibbled, he sniffed the animal's scent and smiled, white teeth gleaming.
"No fears, little mother," he purred. "I'm not after you. I require more of a challenge in my hunt!" He rose in one fluid motion. "Still, you might lead me to a more robust specimen of your kind!"
Like a cat on the trail of its prey, Aoshi set off in the direction the doe had gone.
* * *
Goku was reeling! He had been busily licking out the breakfast rice pot when Vegita had stepped out of Bulma's capsule house and coughed to get his attention. Goku had looked up slowly, sheepish at having been caught eating again. What he had seen made him drop the pot and stand gawking.
The proud Vegita, last Prince of the Saiyan race, had shed his armor and was dressed in khaki shorts, Birkenstock sandals and a T-shirt with "Earth is our mother - treat her with love" written above a (gasp) happy, yellow smiley face. He had added a pair of bifocals to the overall effect and he peered through them at Goku, his eyes disturbingly huge in the lenses' distortion.
"Um, Goku-san," he murmured, "would you like to sign my petition?" He thrust a piece of paper toward his gob-smacked friend. "I've been thinking about this competition and I've reached the conclusion that our activities might have a negative impact on the indigenous plants and wildlife on this island. I'm getting signatures asking Koenma to call off the rest of the games and, instead, sponsor a week-long clean-up and tree-planting session."
Goku just stared blankly at his comrade.
"If I back off slowly," Goku's brain was telling him, "maybe he won't attack me." He tried to blink, but his eyes had dried out from staring and the best he could do was roll them up into the top of his head. "If I don't see him, he's not really here," he thought. But, when he mustered the courage to look again, the monstrosity was still standing there - petition outstretched, pink felt-tip pen at the ready!
* * *
For over an hour, Master Roshi had been witnessing the impossible. Babidi was alive and well and being entertained in Mummy Man's pavilion! Roshi had crept closer, hoping to hear what was being said, but he could only catch a word here or there, as both Babidi and the bandaged man were speaking in low voices. He heard the phrases, "in their water supply" and "already affecting their behavior," but little else. But now Soujiro was speaking, his pleasant young voice as clear as a bell: "How soon will they all be under the influence of the drug, Sir?"
"Soon, my sweet-faced lad - very soon! And then they will be helpless to resist us!" Babidi had chuckled before lowering his voice again.
For once, all thoughts of Yumi and her bare shoulders left the eavesdropping Turtle Hermit's head as he set his mouth in a grim line and turned away from the camp.
"I have to tell the others!" he muttered.
"Tell them what, old man?"
A huge hand clapped its iron grip on Master Roshi's shoulder and spun him roughly around. Roshi craned his neck to stare up into the face of his captor. The man was tall and extremely muscular, with styled, black hair and dark, cat-eye sunglasses covering his eyes. He had what looked like a bunraku puppet on his back.
"N-nice shades," Roshi said nervously.
The man stared down at him, a cruel smirk twisting his lips.
"What should we do with him, Brother?" the man inquired.
Master Roshi blinked as the "puppet" moved and a pale face appeared from behind the tangled mop of hair that he had taken for a doll's wig. That thing was alive! And it was leering at him!
The tall man cocked his head toward the evil "puppet" thing as it spoke one word: "Torture!". "Yes, my brother, I agree!" The tall man lifted Roshi by the neck of his shirt and turned back toward the pavilion. "We'll take him to the Bandaged One. It will be a sweet diversion while we're waiting." He chuckled. "Maybe we can even get a nice, friendly wager going on how long the old man can last!"
* * *
(Author: And now a word from our sponsor.)
The camera shows the interior of the Akabeko. Seated around a table littered with the remains of a feast are Kenshin, Sanosuke, Kaoru, Megume and Yahiko, all talking and laughing together.
Announcer's voice: Renting a private dining room at your favorite restaurant - ¥2,000 (2,000 yen).
Sanosuke reaches his chopsticks to take the last chofu cake from a platter. Yahiko reaches to grab it away and they tussle.
Announcer: Dinner for five, including dessert - ¥8,500 (8,500 yen). The diners all raise sake cups in a toast, then down the contents. There are several empty sake bottles overturned on the table.
Announcer: Enough sake to float a battleship - ¥4,350 (4350 yen).
Tae appears with the check. Yahiko: (teasingly) Hey, Sano, isn't it your turn to pay? To the obvious amazement of all present, Sanosuke grabs the check. He takes a look, then reaches into a pouch at his belt and pulls out a small, vinyl card. He hands this, along with the check, to Tae.
Sanosuke: Here you are, my dear. And please add on a nice, fat gratuity for your trouble. Tae: (In shock) Er, arigato, Sano-san. I'll be right back. (She zombie- walks to the front of the restaurant.) Sanosuke: (looking around at his open-mouthed companions) Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to visit the little roosters' room, heh heh. (He saunters off) Kenshin: (still a bit swirly-eyed with shock) Oro? Suddenly there is a loud scream of rage from the front of the Akabeko and, seconds later, Tae charges into the room, face red with anger. Tae: Where is he? Where's that no-good, double-dealing - Kenshin: Or-oro? Kaoru: Who - Sano? Tae: Who else?! This card is a fake! Now, where is he? Megume: He - he went to the restroom - oh, no! They all jump up and run to the men's room, which, of course, is empty. They notice the restaurant's back door is open. Looking out, they see Sanosuke duck down the back alley. Tae: Aaarrrrgggh!!! Announcer: Getting out of your turn to pay the check - PRICELESS! Camera shows Sanosuke being chased down the street by the whole gang, waving their fists and yelling. Announcer: The best things in life are free. For everything else, there's Moocher's Card!
* * *
Misao was moping. Ever since her encounter with Aoshi and his subsequent disappearance into the forest, the usually vivacious girl had been sitting on a campstool, staring listlessly at the ground. "Misao-chan, are you feeling unwell?" Kenshin asked, concern in his violet eyes. The "weasel girl" shook her head, but didn't speak. A deep sigh escaped her lips and Kenshin caught a glimpse of a tear sliding down her cheek. Kenshin offered her a freshly laundered hankie and Misao blew her nose loudly, then extended the damp cloth back toward him. "Uh, you keep it," Kenshin said. "Is - is there anything I can do for you?" He smiled gently. "Maybe ring Aoshi's neck?" Not even this brought a smile to Misao's gloomy face. "No, nothing. No one can do anything," she said flatly, then turned her back to him. After a moment, Kenshin walked away. He hated to see the girl looking so depressed. It just wasn't like Misao to let anything get her down for long. The thought of what he had witnessed earlier made his mouth go dry. Something was definitely wrong around here. He licked his lips. "Thirsty," he thought. "Maybe we're all a little dehydrated. It's awfully hot on this island." Kenshin headed over to the water cask and used the gourd dipper to fill his empty canteen. Taking a long swallow of the clear, cold water, he sighed deeply. "Maybe I should talk to some of the others," he pondered. "Saitou usually knows what's going on around him. He'll be condescending and rude, but at least I'll get some answers." He found the Wolf of Mibu chopping firewood and humming under his breath. When Kenshin approached, Saitou looked up from his work. "Oh, hi, Himura," he said, his tone friendly. Saitou straightened up and leaned on his ax. "What's shakin'?" "Oro?" Kenshin stared, puzzled. Saitou grabbed up his canteen from a nearby stump and drank deeply. "Man, it's hot out here, ne?" He poured the rest over his head and bare shoulders. "Are you drinking enough water, kid? Wouldn't want you to get dehydrated." When Kenshin didn't reply, but only stood staring at him with a bug-eyed expression, Saitou leaned over and peered into the rurouni's face. "What's wrong, kid?" He sounded genuinely concerned. Kenshin shook his head as if to shake off the shock he was feeling at Saitou's behavior. He blinked rapidly a few times to clear his vision. Nothing had changed. The Wolf of Mibu was smiling, warmly, at him. "Some - something's w-wrong," he stammered. "People - around here -" He broke off. "Acting a bit strange?" Saitou finished for him. "I've noticed that, too." Relieved, Kenshin nodded. Saitou laughed and threw his arm around the Rurouni's shoulders. "Hey! Don't worry, Kenny-chan!" he chuckled. "That's just because they're losing their inhibitions. Happens all the time on islands!" "B-but - but -" Kenshin stammered. "C'mon, kid! Lighten up! Live and let live, I say!" He dug his knuckles into Kenshin's scalp in an affectionate "noogie." "Now, get out of here, Worry Wart! I've got work to do!" Releasing Kenshin, Saitou turned back to his firewood. Dazed, Kenshin wandered over to the laundry tub. He had put some soiled clothing in to soak earlier and they should be ready to wash by now. Doing the laundry always helped him think. He pushed up his sleeves and reached into the sudsy water, then stopped. "Women's work!" He withdrew his hand and shook the suds from it. "Why do I always have to do the laundry and cooking? I'm a man, aren't I?" The latter question brought a smirk to his face. "Oh, yeah! Last time I looked, anyway." He stood up and stretched, puffing his chest out and flexing his biceps. "Ummm, that feels good!" He shrugged off his kimono and, clad in only his hakama, whipped his reversed-blade sword from its scabbard and began to go through the training motions. "Sinew and steel - now, that's what a man's all about!" He ran through the Hiten Mitsurugi moves a couple of times more, then stopped, breathing hard and glistening with sweat. "So thirsty!" he thought. He took a long drink of water, then smiled. "That's better!" He sniffed. "Yeah! I smell like a man now, too - not some sissy-boy!" "Hey, Kenshin!" Sano approached, chewing on a fishbone, as usual. "Dude!" Kenshin high-fived the surprised Sanosuke. "Uh, yeah - whatever," Sano muttered. "I just wondered if you needed any help with the laundry." "Help? You?" Kenshin burst out laughing. "That's not like you, Sano! You feelin' guilty for all that mooching you've done?" Sanosuke looked at him, head tilted to one side as if in thought. "I honestly don't know," he admitted. "It just came to me while I was drinking my tea this morning. I've been a slacker - a parasite! And I'm here to change all that. Now, about that laundry -" Kenshin chuckled. "I appreciate the sentiment, Sano, but - Dude! Laundry is women's work! Leave it for Kaoru!" He stopped, frowning. "Oh, right. She's not here." He thought a minute, then his face lit up. "But Misao is!" "Yeah," Sana said, doubtfully. "Maybe she kind of qualifies as a woman. A little too young for my taste, but probably okay to do the laundry." "Uh huh," Kenshin smirked. "But I'd have to disagree about the 'too young' bit. I think she looks just ripe enough!" He turned his strangely amber-speckled eyes toward the slumped, dejected figure of Misao, still moping on her campstool. "I'll sweet-talk her into doing the laundry," he said, smoothly. "Then, if she's really gooood -" he licked his lips "- maybe I'll reward her! Wonder how she'd like her kisses from a real man!" "You dog!" Sano chuckled admiringly.
* * *
Bulma stood, hands on hips, and surveyed the scene around her. The Tribe DBZ campsite was a madhouse! Not that it was particularly noisy or filled with frenetic action - to the contrary, the atmosphere was a bit more subdued than usual. What made it a madhouse in her eyes was the fact that certain people in camp were behaving contrary to their usual manners! From where she stood, Bulma could see her husband as he made his way toward Goku and Chi Chi; the Saiyan prince was carrying a steaming bowl of vegetable soup, an anxious expression on his face. "Um, Goku," Vegeta said as he reached his friend's side. "I noticed you only ate one small bowl of soup at lunch. I thought you might be hungry, so I heated this up for you." Goku looked at the soup and shook his head. "Ooh, I just couldn't eat another bite," he said, looking a bit green around the gills. "All I seem to want today is water." "Oh." Vegeta looked even more worried. "Maybe I should take your temperature. We do have a camp first aid kit, you know." "Welll.maybe," Goku reluctantly agreed. Cheered up by having a mission, Vegeta turned and bounded over to the locker that contained the first aid kit. He returned in a few minutes, shaking a thermometer and looking a bit sheepish. "Okay," he said, "here's the problem: Koenma got this kit together and - well, nothing in it is suitable for treating adults. It's all toddlers' Tylenol and smiley-face bandaids." He sighed. "Oh, and this is a child's thermometer." Goku frowned. "I don't get it. It's still a thermometer, isn't it? I mean, if it registers a child's temperature, why not an adult's?" "Ur, that's not the problem." Vegeta shuffled his feet anxiously. Goku looked even more confused, but Chi Chi, blushing furiously, leaned to whisper something in his ear. Goku turned completely white. "What?!" he sputtered. "It goes - where?!" Holding both hands up, Goku backed away, then turned tail and ran. "Goku, wait!" Vegeta called out after him, but the frantic-eyed Saiyan never looked back. With a sigh, Vegeta turned to Chi Chi. "I really think you should talk him into giving it a try at least. I think maybe he's sicker than he knows - I mean, Goku with no appetite? It's just wrong." "Well, um, I dunno," Chi Chi murmured, eyes lowered demurely. "I'm sure my husband knows best. I would never dare to second-guess any decision my Goku made." She blushed. "I mean - well, I'm just a woman and not very smart about this sort of thing, you know." Bulma reeled. Chi Chi - being demure, downright self-deprecating!? Oh, this was too much! Added to the extremely odd behavior - and clothing - of her husband and the lack of appetite on Goku's part, there could be no doubt; something was definitely amiss! "Hi, Mom!" Bulma shook her head as if to clear away the confusion, then turned to face her son and his friend, Goten. "Trunks," she said softly, "I'm glad to see you. Have you noticed anything strange about your father lately?" Trunks frowned, looked at Goten who shrugged, and then nodded. "Well, he does seem a bit - odd today," Trunks said slowly. "I hope this isn't causing you too much concern, Mother dear." "Yes, Miss Bulma," Goten chimed in. "We were just saying that you look a little tired. We thought maybe you need more help around the house." "So we just cleaned our room and washed up the dishes," Trunks put in, beaming. "We'd like to start the laundry now, if that's alright with you." Bulma hit the ground, her eyes spinning Rurouni-style. "Who - Who are you - and what have you done with the boys?" she croaked. Trunks smiled lovingly and helped his mother stand. "There now, Mummy," he cooed. "Why don't you come on in out of this heat and have a bit of a lie- down?" "You deserve it, Miss Bulma," Goten agreed. "You do so much for everyone around you. We certainly wouldn't want you to feel unappreciated." Bulma stared, wide-eyed, at first one, then the other of the two strangers before her. Finally, she licked her dry lips and said, in a raspy sort of whisper, "Yes. Yes, that's just what I need - a nice lie-down." She let them lead her into the house as her mind added, "I'm obviously having some sort of heat stroke, accompanied by hallucinations!"
* * *
At a little past 2:00 p.m., Koenma called the two tribes together on the beach. It took until nearly 3:00 for all the stragglers to appear. The toddler and his faithful ogre companion stood waiting outside a capsule house they had set up just before summoning the contestants. Goku arrived, Chi Chi following three steps behind, eyes cast down at the ground. Trunks and Goten had wet-combed their unruly hair and were wearing aprons over their usual outfits. Bulma appeared a bit dazed still, leaning on Vegeta's arm. Aoshi was still free of any clothing except his loincloth and his skin glistened with a layer of perspiration. His dark hair was damp, hanging down over his oddly-feral eyes - eyes that seemed to devour the sight of Misao, who stood nearby still sniffling and dabbing at her teary eyes with Kenshin's handkerchief. As Aoshi peered at the girl from under his long bangs, Kenshin sidled up to Misao and whispered something that made the girl's eyes go wide. Aoshi saw red! "Himura Battousai," he growled, "leave my woman alone!" Kenshin turned to face Aoshi, his lip curled. "What's the matter, pretty boy?" he inquired scornfully. "Afraid the little lady here will find out what she's been missing hanging out with an ice block like you?" He turned back to Misao. "You know what they say, doll - once you've had a Battousai, you'll never settle for an ordinary guy!" Aoshi snarled and lunged at Kenshin, but Saitou stepped between the two, arms extended to hold them apart. "Please, boys," the tall police officer reasoned with them. "Can't we all just get along? Why don't you two just shake hands and make up?" "Yes, please listen to Officer Saitou!" Vegeta stepped forward. "We should all forget our differences and work for the common good here. Our battles should be fought against mankind's blatant disregard for nature. Look at the trees - you don't see them arguing - " "Or the flowers," Hiei murmured dreamily. "Flowers never fight - they just exist in complete beauty." He reached up, gently touching the garland of rather wilted red blossoms that circled his head. "That's a nice wreath on your head, that it is," Kurama told him sweetly. Koenma turned to Jorj. "Can you see me?" he demanded.. Jorj looked confused. "Why - yes, Sir," he replied, slowly. Koenma frowned. "Then I am here," he said, wonder in his voice. "I'm not dreaming." He looked out at the contestants and sighed. "Oh well," he remarked, "at least Urameshi and the Roosterhead are acting normal - well, as normal as either of them can possibly be." Just then, Yusuke turned to Sano, his eyes welling with tears. "I - I'm really worried about today's challenge," the spirit detective moaned. "I just know I'll mess up and let you all down!" "There, there," Sano said, comfortingly. "You'll do fine. And, if anything does go wrong and we lose, I'll take complete responsibility. In fact, I'll volunteer to be the one to leave the island." "That's - that's just so mature and responsible of you, Sano-san," Yusuke gushed. "Pinch me!" Koenma told the ogre. Gingerly, Jorj reached out and obeyed. Koenma let out a yelp. "Alright, alright," he said, stepping out of Jorj's reach. "I guess we should just get on with things." He turned back toward the thirteen remaining players. "Listen up, you freaks! I have an announcement to make." When everyone quieted down, Koenma went on. "There will be no competition today. Instead, I have declared this to be a day of rest, recreation and renewal." Most of the group cheered. Aoshi frowned, disappointed that there would be no chance to exercise his physical prowess, as did Kenshin who felt that he, too, was in need of a little outlet for his pent-up Battousai. "Therefore," Koenma paused for effect, then continued, "I have brought several guests to spend the day with you. Say hello to your families and friends!"
Author's Note: Gomen nasai! I did not mean to run on so with this chapter! I did intend to have the bunch exempted from a challenge this time around so I could expand on the weird character development our gang is undergoing; it just took me a little longer than I thought. Hang in there; the worst is yet to come.
More notes on this chapter: A word about the "capsule houses" that keep springing up in the story: Bulma's family owns Capsule Corp, a business that manufactures various pocket-sized - well, capsules that, when thrown onto the ground, go poof and out pops a full-sized car, motorbike, boat or, as in our case, house. (Boy! I wish those things existed! It would save a lot on hotel bills, rental cars, etc. if you could just take everything with you in capsule form!)
I referred to Aoshi as Misao's "beloved okashira". Misao is a member of the Oniwabanshu (a spy group) and Aoshi is their leader (okashira). Misao temporarily took over in the leadership role when Aoshi, distraught over the death of it of his followers and obsessed with besting Kenshin (whom he wrongly held responsible) abandoned the group. His subsequent battle with Kenshin showed Aoshi that he was dishonoring his dead friends by trying to kill in their name and by turning his back on his remaining followers. Freed from his obsession, Aoshi entered his present state of introspection and search for enlightenment. (Which I have - well, sort of screwed up in my little story here. Sorry, Aoshi, my bad.) Oh.and he's not much given to smiling and I don't know of any instance when he's laughed - which is why Kenshin was so "gob-smacked" (shocked) when it happened in this chapter.
Concerning Babadi (the new dead guy who's shown up here), he's a former DBZ villain - and the latest to benefit from the "magical reviving powers" of the Spirit World (and my poetic license). As for the two extremely creepy guys who capture Master Roshi (the big dude and the "living Bunraku puppet" on his back), devotees of YuYu Hokashu will undoubtedly recognize the Toguro Brothers. (When you visualize the smaller guy, don't see him as a Sherry Lewis type puppet; Bunraku puppets are about four feet tall.) More on them in the next chapter.
Siki deer and the Latham's snipe are found in Japan and I included them because I needed animals in my "prowling Aoshi" sequence; these two are pretty cool! Also in that scene, Aoshi's loincloth was typical underwear for Meiji era Japanese men. They looked like the "thong" things Sumo wrestlers wear today.
Vegita's outfit? Think "Deadhead."
The Hiten Mitsurugi is Kenshin's swordsmanship style, taught to him by his old master, Sejiro Hiko. It involves a sheathed sword, drawn at the last possible second, just as an opponent strikes.